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Auntie Ps advice line

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Day off today, so here I am ready to give you the peachiest solutions to your problems.

Got an issue? Here's a tissue.

Problem shared, a problem halved and all that jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.

P

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I can’t make Now TV work. And I want it NOW!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im a straight man who doesn’t really get turned on by lesbian porn. does this make me gay? or bi? should I try sucking cock and just accept that not being turned on by lesbian porn makes me not straight?

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"im a straight man who doesn’t really get turned on by lesbian porn. does this make me gay? or bi? should I try sucking cock and just accept that not being turned on by lesbian porn makes me not straight?"

I’m not turned on by lesbian porn and I’m bi. Porn is pretty crap.

You should watch two women go at it live and see what happens in your winkle dinkle area.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"im a straight man who doesn’t really get turned on by lesbian porn. does this make me gay? or bi? should I try sucking cock and just accept that not being turned on by lesbian porn makes me not straight?

I’m not turned on by lesbian porn and I’m bi. Porn is pretty crap.

You should watch two women go at it live and see what happens in your winkle dinkle area."

Shit, sorry P.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I can’t make Now TV work. And I want it NOW! "

Stop stressing and get back to the set of Willy Wonka VERUCA SALT!

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"im a straight man who doesn’t really get turned on by lesbian porn. does this make me gay? or bi? should I try sucking cock and just accept that not being turned on by lesbian porn makes me not straight?

I’m not turned on by lesbian porn and I’m bi. Porn is pretty crap.

You should watch two women go at it live and see what happens in your winkle dinkle area."

Some porn "stories" I don't get, I mean how many people have phoned up a plumber and had them turn up that quickly??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"im a straight man who doesn’t really get turned on by lesbian porn. does this make me gay? or bi? should I try sucking cock and just accept that not being turned on by lesbian porn makes me not straight?"

You should just accept it makes you dead in the phallic department and eat minge. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon.... and for the rest of your life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"im a straight man who doesn’t really get turned on by lesbian porn. does this make me gay? or bi? should I try sucking cock and just accept that not being turned on by lesbian porn makes me not straight?"

Ffs

Get back to work you nugget

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"im a straight man who doesn’t really get turned on by lesbian porn. does this make me gay? or bi? should I try sucking cock and just accept that not being turned on by lesbian porn makes me not straight?

I’m not turned on by lesbian porn and I’m bi. Porn is pretty crap.

You should watch two women go at it live and see what happens in your winkle dinkle area.

Shit, sorry P. "

Crack on Veruca

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

My friends left me, rather d*unk, with a group of 8 men in the pub that I didn't know from Adam on Friday night. I had a full drink and probably should of left with them but I didn't.

They don't seem to understand why I'm upset that I wasn't given a 10 minute warning to say they were going.....

I'm not going to fall out with them about it but I'm annoyed with them....

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"I can’t make Now TV work. And I want it NOW!

Stop stressing and get back to the set of Willy Wonka VERUCA SALT! "

Alright GLOOP.

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By *utchersDogMan
over a year ago

Orpington

As I'm treating the wife to dinner tonight (to be fair I cook five bites a week so its not really treating her its just me cooking..) and I don't know what desert should be.

Spotted dick or cream horn?

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"im a straight man who doesn’t really get turned on by lesbian porn. does this make me gay? or bi? should I try sucking cock and just accept that not being turned on by lesbian porn makes me not straight?

I’m not turned on by lesbian porn and I’m bi. Porn is pretty crap.

You should watch two women go at it live and see what happens in your winkle dinkle area.

Shit, sorry P.

Crack on Veruca "

I like the cut of your jib, Augustus.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"im a straight man who doesn’t really get turned on by lesbian porn. does this make me gay? or bi? should I try sucking cock and just accept that not being turned on by lesbian porn makes me not straight?

I’m not turned on by lesbian porn and I’m bi. Porn is pretty crap.

You should watch two women go at it live and see what happens in your winkle dinkle area.

Some porn "stories" I don't get, I mean how many people have phoned up a plumber and had them turn up that quickly??"

Is this a woe?

Excellent

You don't have to understand it, just accept it. And accept it really can be worse than El Dorado

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can’t make Now TV work. And I want it NOW!

Stop stressing and get back to the set of Willy Wonka VERUCA SALT! "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My friends left me, rather d*unk, with a group of 8 men in the pub that I didn't know from Adam on Friday night. I had a full drink and probably should of left with them but I didn't.

They don't seem to understand why I'm upset that I wasn't given a 10 minute warning to say they were going.....

I'm not going to fall out with them about it but I'm annoyed with them...."

And so you should be.

That's not on, not at all. 10 minute warning isn't too much to ask for, especially if you'd have given them one.

But yeah, you probably should have left with them.

Next time, leave with them but make sure they buy you your next drinks!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I can’t make Now TV work. And I want it NOW!

Stop stressing and get back to the set of Willy Wonka VERUCA SALT!

Alright GLOOP."

I'd totally jump in a chocolate river

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As I'm treating the wife to dinner tonight (to be fair I cook five bites a week so its not really treating her its just me cooking..) and I don't know what desert should be.

Spotted dick or cream horn? "

Five bites is a starter and not a meal. You need to concentrate on mains before to can skip to pudding ... you pudding

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"im a straight man who doesn’t really get turned on by lesbian porn. does this make me gay? or bi? should I try sucking cock and just accept that not being turned on by lesbian porn makes me not straight?

I’m not turned on by lesbian porn and I’m bi. Porn is pretty crap.

You should watch two women go at it live and see what happens in your winkle dinkle area.

Shit, sorry P.

Crack on Veruca

I like the cut of your jib, Augustus."

I'm picturing a pointy asparagus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My friends left me, rather d*unk, with a group of 8 men in the pub that I didn't know from Adam on Friday night. I had a full drink and probably should of left with them but I didn't.

They don't seem to understand why I'm upset that I wasn't given a 10 minute warning to say they were going.....

I'm not going to fall out with them about it but I'm annoyed with them....

And so you should be.

That's not on, not at all. 10 minute warning isn't too much to ask for, especially if you'd have given them one.

But yeah, you probably should have left with them.

Next time, leave with them but make sure they buy you your next drinks! "

Crikey TT that’s sensible advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My friends left me, rather d*unk, with a group of 8 men in the pub that I didn't know from Adam on Friday night. I had a full drink and probably should of left with them but I didn't.

They don't seem to understand why I'm upset that I wasn't given a 10 minute warning to say they were going.....

I'm not going to fall out with them about it but I'm annoyed with them....

And so you should be.

That's not on, not at all. 10 minute warning isn't too much to ask for, especially if you'd have given them one.

But yeah, you probably should have left with them.

Next time, leave with them but make sure they buy you your next drinks!

Crikey TT that’s sensible advice "

It was either that or make them wear the full drink so it didn't feel like it was fpung to waste.

I took the high ground.... this time

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My friends left me, rather d*unk, with a group of 8 men in the pub that I didn't know from Adam on Friday night. I had a full drink and probably should of left with them but I didn't.

They don't seem to understand why I'm upset that I wasn't given a 10 minute warning to say they were going.....

I'm not going to fall out with them about it but I'm annoyed with them....

And so you should be.

That's not on, not at all. 10 minute warning isn't too much to ask for, especially if you'd have given them one.

But yeah, you probably should have left with them.

Next time, leave with them but make sure they buy you your next drinks!

Crikey TT that’s sensible advice

It was either that or make them wear the full drink so it didn't feel like it was fpung to waste.

I took the high ground.... this time "

*going

Silly chipolata thumbs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My friends left me, rather d*unk, with a group of 8 men in the pub that I didn't know from Adam on Friday night. I had a full drink and probably should of left with them but I didn't.

They don't seem to understand why I'm upset that I wasn't given a 10 minute warning to say they were going.....

I'm not going to fall out with them about it but I'm annoyed with them....

And so you should be.

That's not on, not at all. 10 minute warning isn't too much to ask for, especially if you'd have given them one.

But yeah, you probably should have left with them.

Next time, leave with them but make sure they buy you your next drinks!

Crikey TT that’s sensible advice

It was either that or make them wear the full drink so it didn't feel like it was fpung to waste.

I took the high ground.... this time "

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"My friends left me, rather d*unk, with a group of 8 men in the pub that I didn't know from Adam on Friday night. I had a full drink and probably should of left with them but I didn't.

They don't seem to understand why I'm upset that I wasn't given a 10 minute warning to say they were going.....

I'm not going to fall out with them about it but I'm annoyed with them....

And so you should be.

That's not on, not at all. 10 minute warning isn't too much to ask for, especially if you'd have given them one.

But yeah, you probably should have left with them.

Next time, leave with them but make sure they buy you your next drinks! "

Good advice, and yes I'll do that. I would never leave my friends in a vunerable situation and would of been quite happy to give them 10 mins to drink their drinks. It wasn't like they had a taxi waiting. The more I think about this the worse it gets.

*Must not overthink*

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My friends left me, rather d*unk, with a group of 8 men in the pub that I didn't know from Adam on Friday night. I had a full drink and probably should of left with them but I didn't.

They don't seem to understand why I'm upset that I wasn't given a 10 minute warning to say they were going.....

I'm not going to fall out with them about it but I'm annoyed with them....

And so you should be.

That's not on, not at all. 10 minute warning isn't too much to ask for, especially if you'd have given them one.

But yeah, you probably should have left with them.

Next time, leave with them but make sure they buy you your next drinks!

Crikey TT that’s sensible advice

It was either that or make them wear the full drink so it didn't feel like it was fpung to waste.

I took the high ground.... this time "

Ok ok, you've talked me into it.

Get a pitcher of pimms. Pimms is grim anyway, that way when you launch it at them all the sloppy fruit gets stuck in their eyes and hair. They'll stink and be sticky.

Failing that, offer them a cocktail.... then launch a molotov

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My friends left me, rather d*unk, with a group of 8 men in the pub that I didn't know from Adam on Friday night. I had a full drink and probably should of left with them but I didn't.

They don't seem to understand why I'm upset that I wasn't given a 10 minute warning to say they were going.....

I'm not going to fall out with them about it but I'm annoyed with them....

And so you should be.

That's not on, not at all. 10 minute warning isn't too much to ask for, especially if you'd have given them one.

But yeah, you probably should have left with them.

Next time, leave with them but make sure they buy you your next drinks!

Good advice, and yes I'll do that. I would never leave my friends in a vunerable situation and would of been quite happy to give them 10 mins to drink their drinks. It wasn't like they had a taxi waiting. The more I think about this the worse it gets.

*Must not overthink*"

They more than likely just got carried away.

Speak up for yourself woman!

Yo, bitches, I gotta finish my drink first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My friends left me, rather d*unk, with a group of 8 men in the pub that I didn't know from Adam on Friday night. I had a full drink and probably should of left with them but I didn't.

They don't seem to understand why I'm upset that I wasn't given a 10 minute warning to say they were going.....

I'm not going to fall out with them about it but I'm annoyed with them....

And so you should be.

That's not on, not at all. 10 minute warning isn't too much to ask for, especially if you'd have given them one.

But yeah, you probably should have left with them.

Next time, leave with them but make sure they buy you your next drinks!

Crikey TT that’s sensible advice

It was either that or make them wear the full drink so it didn't feel like it was fpung to waste.

I took the high ground.... this time

Ok ok, you've talked me into it.

Get a pitcher of pimms. Pimms is grim anyway, that way when you launch it at them all the sloppy fruit gets stuck in their eyes and hair. They'll stink and be sticky.

Failing that, offer them a cocktail.... then launch a molotov "

Yay! That the TT kind of advice we know and love

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My friends left me, rather d*unk, with a group of 8 men in the pub that I didn't know from Adam on Friday night. I had a full drink and probably should of left with them but I didn't.

They don't seem to understand why I'm upset that I wasn't given a 10 minute warning to say they were going.....

I'm not going to fall out with them about it but I'm annoyed with them....

And so you should be.

That's not on, not at all. 10 minute warning isn't too much to ask for, especially if you'd have given them one.

But yeah, you probably should have left with them.

Next time, leave with them but make sure they buy you your next drinks!

Crikey TT that’s sensible advice

It was either that or make them wear the full drink so it didn't feel like it was fpung to waste.

I took the high ground.... this time

Ok ok, you've talked me into it.

Get a pitcher of pimms. Pimms is grim anyway, that way when you launch it at them all the sloppy fruit gets stuck in their eyes and hair. They'll stink and be sticky.

Failing that, offer them a cocktail.... then launch a molotov

Yay! That the TT kind of advice we know and love "

It's my favourite kind

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Day off today, so here I am ready to give you the peachiest solutions to your problems.

Got an issue? Here's a tissue.

Problem shared, a problem halved and all that jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.

P"

I'd like my mojo back please.

Currently no fucks given.

Literally.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"Day off today, so here I am ready to give you the peachiest solutions to your problems.

Got an issue? Here's a tissue.

Problem shared, a problem halved and all that jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.

P

I'd like my mojo back please.

Currently no fucks given.

Literally. "

It's not Thursday

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Day off today, so here I am ready to give you the peachiest solutions to your problems.

Got an issue? Here's a tissue.

Problem shared, a problem halved and all that jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.

P

I'd like my mojo back please.

Currently no fucks given.

Literally. "

Mojo back is ojom

You're welcome

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Day off today, so here I am ready to give you the peachiest solutions to your problems.

Got an issue? Here's a tissue.

Problem shared, a problem halved and all that jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.

P

I'd like my mojo back please.

Currently no fucks given.

Literally.

Mojo back is ojom

You're welcome "

You could at least gave offered a mojo-hita.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Day off today, so here I am ready to give you the peachiest solutions to your problems.

Got an issue? Here's a tissue.

Problem shared, a problem halved and all that jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.

P

I'd like my mojo back please.

Currently no fucks given.

Literally.

It's not Thursday "

Really? They all feel like Thursdays at the moment.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Day off today, so here I am ready to give you the peachiest solutions to your problems.

Got an issue? Here's a tissue.

Problem shared, a problem halved and all that jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.

P

I'd like my mojo back please.

Currently no fucks given.

Literally.

Mojo back is ojom

You're welcome

You could at least gave offered a mojo-hita. "

I'll mojo-hita ya up the back of the neck ya carry on whinging

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Day off today, so here I am ready to give you the peachiest solutions to your problems.

Got an issue? Here's a tissue.

Problem shared, a problem halved and all that jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.

P

I'd like my mojo back please.

Currently no fucks given.

Literally.

Mojo back is ojom

You're welcome

You could at least gave offered a mojo-hita.

I'll mojo-hita ya up the back of the neck ya carry on whinging "

Come n' ave a go if you think yer 'ard enough.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Day off today, so here I am ready to give you the peachiest solutions to your problems.

Got an issue? Here's a tissue.

Problem shared, a problem halved and all that jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.

P

I'd like my mojo back please.

Currently no fucks given.

Literally.

It's not Thursday

Really? They all feel like Thursdays at the moment. "

Hey now

I once tried to befriend a cat in the darkness for a good 10 mins. Was talking to it, making missy noises at is whilst it was bouncing around by the bins at work. I kept a safe distance though, didn't wanna freak it out.

I had to go back in after my cig break so thought it high time to go and force it to be my mate.

It was bouncing around in the dark alright. It was a McDonald's balloon.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Day off today, so here I am ready to give you the peachiest solutions to your problems.

Got an issue? Here's a tissue.

Problem shared, a problem halved and all that jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.

P

I'd like my mojo back please.

Currently no fucks given.

Literally.

It's not Thursday

Really? They all feel like Thursdays at the moment.

Hey now

I once tried to befriend a cat in the darkness for a good 10 mins. Was talking to it, making missy noises at is whilst it was bouncing around by the bins at work. I kept a safe distance though, didn't wanna freak it out.

I had to go back in after my cig break so thought it high time to go and force it to be my mate.

It was bouncing around in the dark alright. It was a McDonald's balloon.

"

Only.

You........

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Day off today, so here I am ready to give you the peachiest solutions to your problems.

Got an issue? Here's a tissue.

Problem shared, a problem halved and all that jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.

P

I'd like my mojo back please.

Currently no fucks given.

Literally.

Mojo back is ojom

You're welcome

You could at least gave offered a mojo-hita.

I'll mojo-hita ya up the back of the neck ya carry on whinging

Come n' ave a go if you think yer 'ard enough."

It's on like Donkey Kong beeyaaaaaatch

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Can you help me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can you help me?"

If you leave a message after the tone....

Beeeeeeep

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

My girlfriend caught me cheating with the girl next door (banging on the bathroom floor). I followed what Shaggy said and told her it wasn't me but she just called me a lying cunt and told me to fuck off.

Got any better advice P?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My girlfriend caught me cheating with the girl next door (banging on the bathroom floor). I followed what Shaggy said and told her it wasn't me but she just called me a lying cunt and told me to fuck off.

Got any better advice P?"

Take Shaggy to court for false advertising

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Hey Auntie P.

How do you tell a woman you want her?

Yes I have done this a few times before, but I seem to have forgotten.

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hey Auntie P.

How do you tell a woman you want her?

Yes I have done this a few times before, but I seem to have forgotten.

Jo.Xx "

You do this...

Heeeyyyyy wassup girlfriend

I ain't sure if you can sense it or not but I'm feeling your fandango is giving me the come on over. Ya dig?

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham


"Hey Auntie P.

How do you tell a woman you want her?

Yes I have done this a few times before, but I seem to have forgotten.

Jo.Xx

You do this...

Heeeyyyyy wassup girlfriend

I ain't sure if you can sense it or not but I'm feeling your fandango is giving me the come on over. Ya dig? "

Cool

I knew I could rely on you.

I'm good to copy and paste that though yeah?Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to visit Sheffield. Anything I should see or do?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hey Auntie P.

How do you tell a woman you want her?

Yes I have done this a few times before, but I seem to have forgotten.

Jo.Xx

You do this...

Heeeyyyyy wassup girlfriend

I ain't sure if you can sense it or not but I'm feeling your fandango is giving me the come on over. Ya dig?

Cool

I knew I could rely on you.

I'm good to copy and paste that though yeah?Xx

"

Fuck yeah, it'll work like a charm

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would like to visit Sheffield. Anything I should see or do?"

I've only been there once myself so I'm not too sure.

I know there's an ice rink.

Dudley has plenty to do though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like to visit Sheffield. Anything I should see or do?

I've only been there once myself so I'm not too sure.

I know there's an ice rink.

Dudley has plenty to do though "

Who is there to do in Dudley?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like to visit Sheffield. Anything I should see or do?

I've only been there once myself so I'm not too sure.

I know there's an ice rink.

Dudley has plenty to do though

Who is there to do in Dudley?"

I meant what!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would like to visit Sheffield. Anything I should see or do?

I've only been there once myself so I'm not too sure.

I know there's an ice rink.

Dudley has plenty to do though

Who is there to do in Dudley?

I meant what! "

There's a living museum, canals, a zoo, foody places and my vagine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like to visit Sheffield. Anything I should see or do?

I've only been there once myself so I'm not too sure.

I know there's an ice rink.

Dudley has plenty to do though

Who is there to do in Dudley?

I meant what!

There's a living museum, canals, a zoo, foody places and my vagine"

Throw in your anus and I’ll skip the zoo!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would like to visit Sheffield. Anything I should see or do?

I've only been there once myself so I'm not too sure.

I know there's an ice rink.

Dudley has plenty to do though

Who is there to do in Dudley?

I meant what!

There's a living museum, canals, a zoo, foody places and my vagine

Throw in your anus and I’ll skip the zoo!"

I'll even bleach it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like to visit Sheffield. Anything I should see or do?

I've only been there once myself so I'm not too sure.

I know there's an ice rink.

Dudley has plenty to do though

Who is there to do in Dudley?

I meant what!

There's a living museum, canals, a zoo, foody places and my vagine

Throw in your anus and I’ll skip the zoo!

I'll even bleach it "

It’s a deal then!

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I've a few days off... thumbs to twiddle and stuff!!

What should I do as opposed to what I will do?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would like to visit Sheffield. Anything I should see or do?

I've only been there once myself so I'm not too sure.

I know there's an ice rink.

Dudley has plenty to do though

Who is there to do in Dudley?

I meant what!

There's a living museum, canals, a zoo, foody places and my vagine

Throw in your anus and I’ll skip the zoo!

I'll even bleach it

It’s a deal then!"

Best get me some domestos

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've a few days off... thumbs to twiddle and stuff!!

What should I do as opposed to what I will do?

"

You should make friends with the ducks of doom.

You should come and do my garden.

You should cook for me.

You should dance naked in the rain (again)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why am I still here after 3 years?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why am I still here after 3 years?"

You're addicted to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why am I still here after 3 years?

You're addicted to me "

I just needed it confirmed......

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I've a few days off... thumbs to twiddle and stuff!!

What should I do as opposed to what I will do?

You should make friends with the ducks of doom.

You should come and do my garden.

You should cook for me.

You should dance naked in the rain (again)

"

Ooh dancing in the rain naked? Was that me?

I'll bring you duck(s)

Wanna do your garden! I wanna do it so bad. Did you want a herb garden?

I'm thinking shawarma and garlic aoili.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why am I still here after 3 years?

You're addicted to me

I just needed it confirmed......"

Worse thing to be addicted to.

You're all good in my book.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've a few days off... thumbs to twiddle and stuff!!

What should I do as opposed to what I will do?

You should make friends with the ducks of doom.

You should come and do my garden.

You should cook for me.

You should dance naked in the rain (again)

Ooh dancing in the rain naked? Was that me?

I'll bring you duck(s)

Wanna do your garden! I wanna do it so bad. Did you want a herb garden?

I'm thinking shawarma and garlic aoili.

"

I haven't witnessed you rain dancing but I'd be more surprised if you haven't than if you have

I'm after a garden I can relax in, I want to create an area where we can do outdoor rudies out of site of the nosey neighbours. I'd love some pots with herbs etc, and I want trailing fuchsias all along the back wall trough.

However... right now even Tarzan would shit himself stepping out there

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I've a few days off... thumbs to twiddle and stuff!!

What should I do as opposed to what I will do?

You should make friends with the ducks of doom.

You should come and do my garden.

You should cook for me.

You should dance naked in the rain (again)

Ooh dancing in the rain naked? Was that me?

I'll bring you duck(s)

Wanna do your garden! I wanna do it so bad. Did you want a herb garden?

I'm thinking shawarma and garlic aoili.

I haven't witnessed you rain dancing but I'd be more surprised if you haven't than if you have

I'm after a garden I can relax in, I want to create an area where we can do outdoor rudies out of site of the nosey neighbours. I'd love some pots with herbs etc, and I want trailing fuchsias all along the back wall trough.

However... right now even Tarzan would shit himself stepping out there "

Your garden needs to be _educed

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've a few days off... thumbs to twiddle and stuff!!

What should I do as opposed to what I will do?

You should make friends with the ducks of doom.

You should come and do my garden.

You should cook for me.

You should dance naked in the rain (again)

Ooh dancing in the rain naked? Was that me?

I'll bring you duck(s)

Wanna do your garden! I wanna do it so bad. Did you want a herb garden?

I'm thinking shawarma and garlic aoili.

I haven't witnessed you rain dancing but I'd be more surprised if you haven't than if you have

I'm after a garden I can relax in, I want to create an area where we can do outdoor rudies out of site of the nosey neighbours. I'd love some pots with herbs etc, and I want trailing fuchsias all along the back wall trough.

However... right now even Tarzan would shit himself stepping out there

Your garden needs to be _educed

"

It sooooooo does

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feeling in a bit of a flump mood for no particular reason other than isnt life an effort sometimes, all that positivity thats needed. Can I have a night off from finding all the solutions all of the time please. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Feeling in a bit of a flump mood for no particular reason other than isnt life an effort sometimes, all that positivity thats needed. Can I have a night off from finding all the solutions all of the time please. Xx "

Whistle the tune. Pootle was awesome and Grandpa was brill.

https://youtu.be/vDXMUR7eY_8

You can have a night off, pamper yourself beaut, remind yourself that you're worth it, and that you're special. There's only one you in this whole universe!

Oh, and chuck a tub of mint choc chip down your gullet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Feeling in a bit of a flump mood for no particular reason other than isnt life an effort sometimes, all that positivity thats needed. Can I have a night off from finding all the solutions all of the time please. Xx

Whistle the tune. Pootle was awesome and Grandpa was brill.

https://youtu.be/vDXMUR7eY_8

You can have a night off, pamper yourself beaut, remind yourself that you're worth it, and that you're special. There's only one you in this whole universe!

Oh, and chuck a tub of mint choc chip down your gullet "

that made me smile thankyou.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Feeling in a bit of a flump mood for no particular reason other than isnt life an effort sometimes, all that positivity thats needed. Can I have a night off from finding all the solutions all of the time please. Xx

Whistle the tune. Pootle was awesome and Grandpa was brill.

https://youtu.be/vDXMUR7eY_8

You can have a night off, pamper yourself beaut, remind yourself that you're worth it, and that you're special. There's only one you in this whole universe!

Oh, and chuck a tub of mint choc chip down your gullet

that made me smile thankyou.

"

Any time sweet cheeks, I'm here for entertainment and reminding peeps they're ace.

Not the cunts tho, the cunts can suck my unwashed pissflaps

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Feeling in a bit of a flump mood for no particular reason other than isnt life an effort sometimes, all that positivity thats needed. Can I have a night off from finding all the solutions all of the time please. Xx

Whistle the tune. Pootle was awesome and Grandpa was brill.

https://youtu.be/vDXMUR7eY_8

You can have a night off, pamper yourself beaut, remind yourself that you're worth it, and that you're special. There's only one you in this whole universe!

Oh, and chuck a tub of mint choc chip down your gullet

that made me smile thankyou.

Any time sweet cheeks, I'm here for entertainment and reminding peeps they're ace.

Not the cunts tho, the cunts can suck my unwashed pissflaps "

Is it wrong that I gotta bitta wood now?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Feeling in a bit of a flump mood for no particular reason other than isnt life an effort sometimes, all that positivity thats needed. Can I have a night off from finding all the solutions all of the time please. Xx

Whistle the tune. Pootle was awesome and Grandpa was brill.

https://youtu.be/vDXMUR7eY_8

You can have a night off, pamper yourself beaut, remind yourself that you're worth it, and that you're special. There's only one you in this whole universe!

Oh, and chuck a tub of mint choc chip down your gullet

that made me smile thankyou.

Any time sweet cheeks, I'm here for entertainment and reminding peeps they're ace.

Not the cunts tho, the cunts can suck my unwashed pissflaps

Is it wrong that I gotta bitta wood now? "

I'll leave them a week, just for you. KFC lemony wipe at most

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Feeling in a bit of a flump mood for no particular reason other than isnt life an effort sometimes, all that positivity thats needed. Can I have a night off from finding all the solutions all of the time please. Xx

Whistle the tune. Pootle was awesome and Grandpa was brill.

https://youtu.be/vDXMUR7eY_8

You can have a night off, pamper yourself beaut, remind yourself that you're worth it, and that you're special. There's only one you in this whole universe!

Oh, and chuck a tub of mint choc chip down your gullet

that made me smile thankyou.

Any time sweet cheeks, I'm here for entertainment and reminding peeps they're ace.

Not the cunts tho, the cunts can suck my unwashed pissflaps

Is it wrong that I gotta bitta wood now?

I'll leave them a week, just for you. KFC lemony wipe at most "

I do like a bird with a bitta clarse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Feeling in a bit of a flump mood for no particular reason other than isnt life an effort sometimes, all that positivity thats needed. Can I have a night off from finding all the solutions all of the time please. Xx

Whistle the tune. Pootle was awesome and Grandpa was brill.

https://youtu.be/vDXMUR7eY_8

You can have a night off, pamper yourself beaut, remind yourself that you're worth it, and that you're special. There's only one you in this whole universe!

Oh, and chuck a tub of mint choc chip down your gullet

that made me smile thankyou.

Any time sweet cheeks, I'm here for entertainment and reminding peeps they're ace.

Not the cunts tho, the cunts can suck my unwashed pissflaps

Is it wrong that I gotta bitta wood now?

I'll leave them a week, just for you. KFC lemony wipe at most

I do like a bird with a bitta clarse. "

You wanna bite my arse?!

Cheeky

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Feeling in a bit of a flump mood for no particular reason other than isnt life an effort sometimes, all that positivity thats needed. Can I have a night off from finding all the solutions all of the time please. Xx

Whistle the tune. Pootle was awesome and Grandpa was brill.

https://youtu.be/vDXMUR7eY_8

You can have a night off, pamper yourself beaut, remind yourself that you're worth it, and that you're special. There's only one you in this whole universe!

Oh, and chuck a tub of mint choc chip down your gullet

that made me smile thankyou.

Any time sweet cheeks, I'm here for entertainment and reminding peeps they're ace.

Not the cunts tho, the cunts can suck my unwashed pissflaps

Is it wrong that I gotta bitta wood now?

I'll leave them a week, just for you. KFC lemony wipe at most

I do like a bird with a bitta clarse.

You wanna bite my arse?!

Cheeky "

Depends which of you's offering really.

*lines in sand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can’t make Now TV work. And I want it NOW! "

Now tv is pants.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Feeling in a bit of a flump mood for no particular reason other than isnt life an effort sometimes, all that positivity thats needed. Can I have a night off from finding all the solutions all of the time please. Xx

Whistle the tune. Pootle was awesome and Grandpa was brill.

https://youtu.be/vDXMUR7eY_8

You can have a night off, pamper yourself beaut, remind yourself that you're worth it, and that you're special. There's only one you in this whole universe!

Oh, and chuck a tub of mint choc chip down your gullet

that made me smile thankyou.

Any time sweet cheeks, I'm here for entertainment and reminding peeps they're ace.

Not the cunts tho, the cunts can suck my unwashed pissflaps

Is it wrong that I gotta bitta wood now?

I'll leave them a week, just for you. KFC lemony wipe at most

I do like a bird with a bitta clarse.

You wanna bite my arse?!

Cheeky

Depends which of you's offering really.

*lines in sand "

The one who's arse may whistle at you if you get close enough

Brrrppofttt

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