FabSwingers.com forum: If you've kids

By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

17 or over and living with you how much would you give them poorly for pocket money. Mines in college earning nothing but doing fantastically with her work. Shes doing some tough courses and learning to drive. A job on top of that will just be to much. So what you think is enough per month

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

mine gets her college money at the moment, shes doing rather well.

so at moment its our wish for her to be there doing her education bettering herself.

so no board to pay, but shes also got to be considerate at the same time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As much as you can afford and feel is fair

I'd say £25-£30 a week with a bit extra when she achieves or has something special on

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

This is a tough one. £100 a month?

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"mine gets her college money at the moment, shes doing rather well.

so at moment its our wish for her to be there doing her education bettering herself.

so no board to pay, but shes also got to be considerate at the same time."

So shes some money coming in. What if you wanted the same but she was earning nothing but also like you no board to pay and food provided

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Mine has just finished A levels and hasn't got the next step in place.

He has a part time job. We pay for his mobile phone and 3/4 driving lessons a month. We don't expect him to contribute for his 'keep' yet.

That's around £100 I think.

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?"

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month"

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eck at 17.. i was 3 part time jobs full time health course and living on my own..driving lessons.

No one gave me a penny.

Ask your child and work out a plan of what they actually need

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?"

I'm paying her driving lessons and just sorted her a car worth £5000. She's consistently buming money off 1 of us and I'm not around as much as I was so sorting a direct depit tomorrow

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"Eck at 17.. i was 3 part time jobs full time health course and living on my own..driving lessons.

No one gave me a penny.

Ask your child and work out a plan of what they actually need "

I grew up in care so been on my own since I was 17 I don't want her having the life I had and I want her to concentrate on her exams and getting her license so I'm not worried every night sweet when shes out getting buses or what ever. I can offered to give her what ever she want but I also want her to know the value of money and be independent or at least not constantly daaaaad can i have a 20 quid I'm skint.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?

I'm paying her driving lessons and just sorted her a car worth £5000. She's consistently buming money off 1 of us and I'm not around as much as I was so sorting a direct depit tomorrow "

Is there a reason you're not keen on her getting a part time job? I'm not suggesting she should but if there's a difference between what she's getting and what she's spending it's one solution.

Mr N took our daughter to get new tyres on her car once and the guy just said "I assume you're paying" to him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Eck at 17.. i was 3 part time jobs full time health course and living on my own..driving lessons.

No one gave me a penny.

Ask your child and work out a plan of what they actually need

Thats why chat an together work out whats needed per day etc.. look at what they can do .. ie... do ironing or do some errands that fits in.

I get you

Your support will be appreciated

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?

I'm paying her driving lessons and just sorted her a car worth £5000. She's consistently buming money off 1 of us and I'm not around as much as I was so sorting a direct depit tomorrow

Is there a reason you're not keen on her getting a part time job? I'm not suggesting she should but if there's a difference between what she's getting and what she's spending it's one solution.

Mr N took our daughter to get new tyres on her car once and the guy just said "I assume you're paying" to him

Because of the courses shes doing. I want her to do well and working on top of college I think will effect her marks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went out and earned my own money paper rounds and what not from age of 13

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?

I'm paying her driving lessons and just sorted her a car worth £5000. She's consistently buming money off 1 of us and I'm not around as much as I was so sorting a direct depit tomorrow

Is there a reason you're not keen on her getting a part time job? I'm not suggesting she should but if there's a difference between what she's getting and what she's spending it's one solution.

Mr N took our daughter to get new tyres on her car once and the guy just said "I assume you're paying" to him

Because of the courses shes doing. I want her to do well and working on top of college I think will effect her marks"

Fair enough

I'm not sure if you're asking because she's said she needs more or you think you're not giving her enough.

When it comes down to it you could give a 17 year old £500 a month and they'd spend it. Does she buy her clothes, toiletries, college books etc from what you give her?

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"Went out and earned my own money paper rounds and what not from age of 13 "

Same as me but I want my kids to have a better start in life than I did. That wasn't what I asked was it.

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?

I'm paying her driving lessons and just sorted her a car worth £5000. She's consistently buming money off 1 of us and I'm not around as much as I was so sorting a direct depit tomorrow

Is there a reason you're not keen on her getting a part time job? I'm not suggesting she should but if there's a difference between what she's getting and what she's spending it's one solution.

Mr N took our daughter to get new tyres on her car once and the guy just said "I assume you're paying" to him

Because of the courses shes doing. I want her to do well and working on top of college I think will effect her marks

Fair enough

I'm not sure if you're asking because she's said she needs more or you think you're not giving her enough.

When it comes down to it you could give a 17 year old £500 a month and they'd spend it. Does she buy her clothes, toiletries, college books etc from what you give her?

I was just wondering what others do or would if they could. It's to stop the constant can I have can I have. Shes has nothing to pay herself it's just pocket money everything else i provide for her.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?

I'm paying her driving lessons and just sorted her a car worth £5000. She's consistently buming money off 1 of us and I'm not around as much as I was so sorting a direct depit tomorrow

Is there a reason you're not keen on her getting a part time job? I'm not suggesting she should but if there's a difference between what she's getting and what she's spending it's one solution.

Mr N took our daughter to get new tyres on her car once and the guy just said "I assume you're paying" to him

Because of the courses shes doing. I want her to do well and working on top of college I think will effect her marks

Fair enough

I'm not sure if you're asking because she's said she needs more or you think you're not giving her enough.

When it comes down to it you could give a 17 year old £500 a month and they'd spend it. Does she buy her clothes, toiletries, college books etc from what you give her?

I was just wondering what others do or would if they could. It's to stop the constant can I have can I have. Shes has nothing to pay herself it's just pocket money everything else i provide for her."

I don't think you'll stop the "can I have" no matter how much you give. What about increasing your contribution to £60 so she has a round £100. That's £25 a week which when you think about it is a couple of trips to McDonald's and a few snacks at college.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Went out and earned my own money paper rounds and what not from age of 13

Same as me but I want my kids to have a better start in life than I did. That wasn't what I asked was it."

Of course same wit me and my kids. I was never the academic type just wanted to leave school and go earn. I definitely don’t want my kids to do that but the work ethic stands you in good stead also. It’s a hard one I suppose you know your daughters lifestyle and how she handles her money. I know my parents would have knew anything they would have gave me would have been pissed up against the wall maybe your at a good range at 80/100 and if u see them using it wisely give more if you feel the need too x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?

I'm paying her driving lessons and just sorted her a car worth £5000. She's consistently buming money off 1 of us and I'm not around as much as I was so sorting a direct depit tomorrow

Is there a reason you're not keen on her getting a part time job? I'm not suggesting she should but if there's a difference between what she's getting and what she's spending it's one solution.

Mr N took our daughter to get new tyres on her car once and the guy just said "I assume you're paying" to him

Because of the courses shes doing. I want her to do well and working on top of college I think will effect her marks

Fair enough

I'm not sure if you're asking because she's said she needs more or you think you're not giving her enough.

When it comes down to it you could give a 17 year old £500 a month and they'd spend it. Does she buy her clothes, toiletries, college books etc from what you give her?

I was just wondering what others do or would if they could. It's to stop the constant can I have can I have. Shes has nothing to pay herself it's just pocket money everything else i provide for her."

If you already has you to pay for everything then she doesn't need anymore.

To be honest all you are teaching her is that money grows on trees!! Life is hard and she'll have to stand on her own two feet at some point so no harm in her getting a job for a couple of hours each week.

I understand when you say that you had it hard and so did millions of others but we are turning our kids into snowflakes by pampering them.

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?

I'm paying her driving lessons and just sorted her a car worth £5000. She's consistently buming money off 1 of us and I'm not around as much as I was so sorting a direct depit tomorrow

Is there a reason you're not keen on her getting a part time job? I'm not suggesting she should but if there's a difference between what she's getting and what she's spending it's one solution.

Mr N took our daughter to get new tyres on her car once and the guy just said "I assume you're paying" to him

Because of the courses shes doing. I want her to do well and working on top of college I think will effect her marks

Fair enough

I'm not sure if you're asking because she's said she needs more or you think you're not giving her enough.

When it comes down to it you could give a 17 year old £500 a month and they'd spend it. Does she buy her clothes, toiletries, college books etc from what you give her?

I was just wondering what others do or would if they could. It's to stop the constant can I have can I have. Shes has nothing to pay herself it's just pocket money everything else i provide for her.

Yes I agree it won't stop but I'll just say no. I was thinking the same. I just wasn't sure I don't want to be tight but also don't want her constantly asking so just wondered what ppl thought.

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

She is already very lucky by the sounds of it. I am sure she will appreciate however much you give her...in time lol. But yea, 25-30 a week seems perfectly adequate.

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By *019ReadyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?

I'm paying her driving lessons and just sorted her a car worth £5000. She's consistently buming money off 1 of us and I'm not around as much as I was so sorting a direct depit tomorrow "

I'd say she's doing pretty well as it is!

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?

I'm paying her driving lessons and just sorted her a car worth £5000. She's consistently buming money off 1 of us and I'm not around as much as I was so sorting a direct depit tomorrow

Is there a reason you're not keen on her getting a part time job? I'm not suggesting she should but if there's a difference between what she's getting and what she's spending it's one solution.

Mr N took our daughter to get new tyres on her car once and the guy just said "I assume you're paying" to him

Because of the courses shes doing. I want her to do well and working on top of college I think will effect her marks

Fair enough

I'm not sure if you're asking because she's said she needs more or you think you're not giving her enough.

When it comes down to it you could give a 17 year old £500 a month and they'd spend it. Does she buy her clothes, toiletries, college books etc from what you give her?

I was just wondering what others do or would if they could. It's to stop the constant can I have can I have. Shes has nothing to pay herself it's just pocket money everything else i provide for her.

If you already has you to pay for everything then she doesn't need anymore.

I understand when you say that you had it hard and so did millions of others but we are turning our kids into snowflakes by pampering them. "

I agree it is tough out there and the time will come shes on her own but I want her to have a better life than me. The last thing I'm doing is turning her into a snowflake and she understands it all stops when she leave education so sorry but don't agree she should have to get a job for spending money.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?

I'm paying her driving lessons and just sorted her a car worth £5000. She's consistently buming money off 1 of us and I'm not around as much as I was so sorting a direct depit tomorrow

Is there a reason you're not keen on her getting a part time job? I'm not suggesting she should but if there's a difference between what she's getting and what she's spending it's one solution.

Mr N took our daughter to get new tyres on her car once and the guy just said "I assume you're paying" to him

Because of the courses shes doing. I want her to do well and working on top of college I think will effect her marks

Fair enough

I'm not sure if you're asking because she's said she needs more or you think you're not giving her enough.

When it comes down to it you could give a 17 year old £500 a month and they'd spend it. Does she buy her clothes, toiletries, college books etc from what you give her?

I was just wondering what others do or would if they could. It's to stop the constant can I have can I have. Shes has nothing to pay herself it's just pocket money everything else i provide for her.

Yes I agree it won't stop but I'll just say no. I was thinking the same. I just wasn't sure I don't want to be tight but also don't want her constantly asking so just wondered what ppl thought."

I reckon you've got it about right

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"She is already very lucky by the sounds of it. I am sure she will appreciate however much you give her...in time lol. But yea, 25-30 a week seems perfectly adequate.

I think the same. Thank you

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"She is already very lucky by the sounds of it. I am sure she will appreciate however much you give her...in time lol. But yea, 25-30 a week seems perfectly adequate.

She does know how lucky she is most of her mates have jobs and she has applied for jobs but with all her college work and learning to drive I don't want her having to work as well. I do get her doing bit an Bob's for me if she want more but I'm not just handing her money left right an center. After this unless its something she need she going to get a flat no. In my mind it's the start of her learned how to budget.

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By *oncupiscentTonyMan
over a year ago

Kent

" I also want her to know the value of money and be independent or at least not constantly daaaaad can i have a 20 quid I'm skint."

...see that big pile of dirty pots in the kitchen.

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

" I also want her to know the value of money and be independent or at least not constantly daaaaad can i have a 20 quid I'm skint.

...see that big pile of dirty pots in the kitchen. "

Ow yes I get her doing jobs for me. Nobody gets nothing for nothing. Her mum has her baby sitting for the money she gives her.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

I think it sounds about right. My older kids have set jobs to do but can earn more. Although I'm not paying for all the other stuff...but I would if I could.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it sounds about right. My older kids have set jobs to do but can earn more. Although I'm not paying for all the other stuff...but I would if I could. "

Mine is 2 he doesn't get pocket money, but has everything going spoilt much. Waste of money mind you he ever looks at any of it lesson learned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the way you come across about money it sounds like you and her mum are doing ok for it so I'm assuming you both work if no benifit are being claimed for her and she is in education she should be able to claim about £40 a week herself through the college and free bus pass unless it changed since my daughter left college few years ago x

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"From the way you come across about money it sounds like you and her mum are doing ok for it so I'm assuming you both work if no benifit are being claimed for her and she is in education she should be able to claim about £40 a week herself through the college and free bus pass unless it changed since my daughter left college few years ago x"

Yes we both work. Obviously me and her mum are not together and she lives with me but that's the 1st I've heard of that. Does my wage matter I work full time on a good wage her mum part time on a crap wage.

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

Oh OP the joys of parenthood.....my lad is 30 has an excellent job and a car better than mine and still bums off me! "Mummmmm can you get me this n that I've no time to get it myself" do I get the money back, do I hell......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"17 or over and living with you how much would you give them poorly for pocket money. Mines in college earning nothing but doing fantastically with her work. Shes doing some tough courses and learning to drive. A job on top of that will just be to much. So what you think is enough per month"
£600

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"Oh OP the joys of parenthood.....my lad is 30 has an excellent job and a car better than mine and still bums off me! "Mummmmm can you get me this n that I've no time to get it myself" do I get the money back, do I hell......

You know thinking about it my son's 30 working full time and I'm still constantly sorting this or that for him. About 2 week ago I let him have a car worth about £1800 easy for £800 but I'm in the trade. I lost about 200 out of it. In fact I forgot 2 month ago a gave him £1500 the have the braces fitted he wouldn't wear as a kid. To be fair especially of late as I've been very poorly he been a star and helped me out no end and gaven me a few well needed kicks up the arse. We are no longer father and son we are best mates. We even go to clubs together from time to time.

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Ye right. What's that going to do. Turn her into a brat with no idea of the value of money. No I take good care of my kids that doesn't mean I spoil them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/06/19 05:29:53]

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

Yes! The closer they get to our age the dynamics change slightly from parent and child.....it's a strange but amazing feeling when I have adult conversations with my adult son.....the lad knows more about the world than me I think....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ur wage wouldn't count towards it cos she doesn't live with you but other than that I'm not too sure can't remember exactly but will probably have information on the government website..but as I said it might of changed in last 4 years

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

No she lives with me. I'll have to find out. I know she has a bus pass thing just to get to college but that just to an from college and the same time back an form every day. But she cant always use it as 1 of her day is a half so we normally get her some other bus pass for all buses. I forget what that costs me but it's not cheap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?

I'm paying her driving lessons and just sorted her a car worth £5000. She's consistently buming money off 1 of us and I'm not around as much as I was so sorting a direct depit tomorrow

Is there a reason you're not keen on her getting a part time job? I'm not suggesting she should but if there's a difference between what she's getting and what she's spending it's one solution.

Mr N took our daughter to get new tyres on her car once and the guy just said "I assume you're paying" to him

Because of the courses shes doing. I want her to do well and working on top of college I think will effect her marks

Fair enough

I'm not sure if you're asking because she's said she needs more or you think you're not giving her enough.

When it comes down to it you could give a 17 year old £500 a month and they'd spend it. Does she buy her clothes, toiletries, college books etc from what you give her?

I was just wondering what others do or would if they could. It's to stop the constant can I have can I have. Shes has nothing to pay herself it's just pocket money everything else i provide for her.

If you already has you to pay for everything then she doesn't need anymore.

I understand when you say that you had it hard and so did millions of others but we are turning our kids into snowflakes by pampering them. "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our eldest has a part time job whilst at uni so he funds his own social life and gym membership, although he will ask on the rare occasion for some money if he’s going out with his mates. Guess we’re quite lucky really.

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By *opilotMan
over a year ago

Heathrow

It's a tough one,you want your kids to do well and you try and give them the best start in life, but on the other hand at some point they need to learn life skills that they dont get taught in school.

How about instead of giving her 20 quid here and there, set an amount for the month and tell her she's not getting anymore until next month, that will teach her to start budgeting. Good luck

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

I used to give mine £25 a week. If he wanted more he had to get a Saturday job! Feeling tight just writing that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?

I'm paying her driving lessons and just sorted her a car worth £5000. She's consistently buming money off 1 of us and I'm not around as much as I was so sorting a direct depit tomorrow

Is there a reason you're not keen on her getting a part time job? I'm not suggesting she should but if there's a difference between what she's getting and what she's spending it's one solution.

Mr N took our daughter to get new tyres on her car once and the guy just said "I assume you're paying" to him

Because of the courses shes doing. I want her to do well and working on top of college I think will effect her marks

Fair enough

I'm not sure if you're asking because she's said she needs more or you think you're not giving her enough.

When it comes down to it you could give a 17 year old £500 a month and they'd spend it. Does she buy her clothes, toiletries, college books etc from what you give her?

I was just wondering what others do or would if they could. It's to stop the constant can I have can I have. Shes has nothing to pay herself it's just pocket money everything else i provide for her.

If you already has you to pay for everything then she doesn't need anymore.

I understand when you say that you had it hard and so did millions of others but we are turning our kids into snowflakes by pampering them.

This

This again ^^^ my 17 yo (soon to be 18) is just finishing college with not a car or a driving lesson in sight! She walks over 2 miles to next village (& back) to catch bus to and from college daily and makes her own packed lunch daily ... she is severely dyslexic and passing everything with starred distinctions not for money but because she has her uni course and want she wants in place. I provide every thing that she needs for life and not a penny of pocket money! Sorry in life nothing is free!

Most kids nowadays expect everything and this filters into their future adult life and health!

My (now 26) son at 15 rescued a pony and it cost him £700 so I lent it to him at 1%! He paid it all back in 6 months by washing cars, mowing lawns etc! Hard maybe but a good lesson learned ... more likely!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes wonder how much of these feelings are worse when families are seperated?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FWIW OP, I never needed to work through college or Uni, I was supported by my parents.

It helped, immensely

It hasn't affected my work ethic and it hasn't affected my outlook on life or made me 'soft'

If you are able to help her, that's great

If your daughter wants more than you or her Mum can give, then it is up to her to make up the difference, don't feel 'obliged'

I wish her well with her studies and her driving

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt/didnt give them anything. When they were at college they got part time jobs to fund whatever they wanted. They still did fantastically well at college and in life.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I had part time jobs since my last year in Comprehensive. By the time i got to College i had two part time jobs as well as my College work, and to be honest it was knackering (albeit one was an early morning cleaning job).

Yes i got a good work ethic. Yes it stopped me nagging my mum for money for stuff, but it also made me incredibly tired.

I think you and your ex are doing enough Bladey.

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside

I paid my boys phone bill every month and travel costs to and from college. Every thing else he had to save up for. I am on a low income, do not claim benefits so both my children understand that money is tight and how to save, budget and make the most of free nights out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is a tough one. £100 a month?

At the minute I give her 40 and her mum gives her the same so shes getting 80 a month

Ok. Both of ours worked through college and we paid things like car insurance/maintenance, transport costs etc. Is £80 enough, what's prompted your question?

I'm paying her driving lessons and just sorted her a car worth £5000. She's consistently buming money off 1 of us and I'm not around as much as I was so sorting a direct depit tomorrow "

Sounds like she's asking for even more. Does she appreciate the car and everything else you're given her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

£100 a month seems fair.

My eldest was working around doing his A levels, and never took money off us, though I used to give him money to cover his lunches and travel.

I also paid for him learning to drive, he would pay for lessons, I paid for licences, tests and a car when he passed. He never expected it, and that is why it was given.

My youngest didn't work through his A levels, I gave him around a £80 a month.

He is at uni now and has around £200 a month to help, his brother has a good job and also gives him monthly money of £100 a month.

I never expected keep off either, would preffered they saved for themselves but used to appreciate milk, bread bought, or washing done, or housework.

Now it is paying off, my eldest owns his own house and business.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Just a bit of advice don’t spoil her my parents did that with me because they were never at home and thought they were doing the right thing by just giving me money etc to go out with my mates..I got a job when I was 17 and had my own money but used to waste it..

Anyway it doesn’t fair well with relationships with money as an adult..

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Mine got nothing officially. Has just finished college, learnt to drive, passed test & has a car, also has 2 part time jobs.

I provided everything they needed, clothes, toiletries etc.. if they needed any extra they just had to ask

J x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can’t remember how much I gave but she worked for it, some household chores, babysitting for my youngest, a bit of work for my company. You don’t get anything for nothing in life, that’s how I was brought up. I did treat her a lot though too, £20 here £20 there etc.

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

I don't think there's anything wrong as the Op has said in helping out to allow his daughter to concentrate on her academic studies rather than be tired after working and having that affect them..

Bit unfair to use comments about snowflakes as well as not even closely relevant but that's the forums..

We all do it as best as we can and no one is an expert in these things..

Anyway, our Dad used to make us live in shoe box..

Peace..

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

It’s tough to say what you should be giving a 17 yr old as they’re all different as are your personal circumstances . But it’s a tough world for these kids just starting out and they do need all the help they can get . I honestly feel it was so much easier for my generation . Give her as much as you can afford . I’m sure it’s appreciated and you’ll be rewarded tenfold with the pride thingy

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Thanks for all the reply but to clarify it's me doesn't want her to work she's been applying for jobs but I've told her to stop as I think she'll end up burning herself out. To the comments well I never got out and we are turning our kids into flakes. In general I agree some parents do do that but the point of this thread was so I wasn't doing that. I want her driving for my own peace of mind so I'm paying for her lessons and she struggling with it. Nothing like ready for a test. The car I've sorted is worth £5000 but that doesn't mean I paid that for it as I'm in the trade I got it cheap as fuck. Last thing we are doing is spoiling her. I just wanted to know what ppl thought that's all. Truth is I could put a grand a month in her bank if I wanted. Now that would be spoiling what is a very level headed good looking young girl. Shes extreamly intelligent and passes exams with distinction. So if you was in my position ie I can offered to keep her would you want your child working while she's doing so well. In my mind her job is getting the qualification she need to do what she's chosen.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Thanks for all the reply but to clarify it's me doesn't want her to work she's been applying for jobs but I've told her to stop as I think she'll end up burning herself out. To the comments well I never got out and we are turning our kids into flakes. In general I agree some parents do do that but the point of this thread was so I wasn't doing that. I want her driving for my own peace of mind so I'm paying for her lessons and she struggling with it. Nothing like ready for a test. The car I've sorted is worth £5000 but that doesn't mean I paid that for it as I'm in the trade I got it cheap as fuck. Last thing we are doing is spoiling her. I just wanted to know what ppl thought that's all. Truth is I could put a grand a month in her bank if I wanted. Now that would be spoiling what is a very level headed good looking young girl. Shes extreamly intelligent and passes exams with distinction. So if you was in my position ie I can offered to keep her would you want your child working while she's doing so well. In my mind her job is getting the qualification she need to do what she's chosen."

Under those circumstances I would encourage her to work if she wants to. It can be a great way of learning how to manage time, mix with all age groups and engender pride in earning. I also think that it encourages mature thinking and social skills. However this is your daughter so it's your decision.

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By *aughtyforcouplesMan
over a year ago

exeter

"Eck at 17.. i was 3 part time jobs full time health course and living on my own..driving lessons.

No one gave me a penny.

Ask your child and work out a plan of what they actually need "

I think kids are too well looked after now, Similar to you I put myself through college and uni with various types a part time work whilst paying for my own car and accomodation. I used to get the occasional food parcel from mum which was an absolute treat at the time

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Eck at 17.. i was 3 part time jobs full time health course and living on my own..driving lessons.

No one gave me a penny.

Ask your child and work out a plan of what they actually need

Can you look after your kids too well? I'd give our kids everything if I could

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By *andare63Man
over a year ago

oldham

"Eck at 17.. i was 3 part time jobs full time health course and living on my own..driving lessons.

No one gave me a penny.

Ask your child and work out a plan of what they actually need

Can you look after your kids too well? I'd give our kids everything if I could "

Totally agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Eck at 17.. i was 3 part time jobs full time health course and living on my own..driving lessons.

No one gave me a penny.

Ask your child and work out a plan of what they actually need

Can you look after your kids too well? I'd give our kids everything if I could "

I think you can give them too much and they won't learn to budget or be responsible. I think it's how many people get into debt. They use credit cards to replace the Bank of Mum and Dad because they always got everything they asked for.

So it's not being mean, it's helping them in the long run.

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

what can you afford to give?

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"Eck at 17.. i was 3 part time jobs full time health course and living on my own..driving lessons.

No one gave me a penny.

Ask your child and work out a plan of what they actually need

Can you look after your kids too well? I'd give our kids everything if I could

So it's not being mean, it's helping them in the long run.

My point to a tee

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By *ire_blade OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester

what can you afford to give? "

As I've said above I could stick a grand a month in her account but I won't

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

"Eck at 17.. i was 3 part time jobs full time health course and living on my own..driving lessons.

No one gave me a penny.

Ask your child and work out a plan of what they actually need

Can you look after your kids too well? I'd give our kids everything if I could

So it's not being mean, it's helping them in the long run.

Totally agree I got into debt because I didn’t want to ask the bank of mum and dad but now they are having to help more now it’s a no win situation.

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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago

so near and yet so far....

If it helps PP, one of my Daughters isn’t as well paid as her sister, she is aware of the fact she didn’t go to uni and study, but all are different. My point is that she was always borrowing, but now we know she needs it but she’ll say she can manage and it’s her choice on how much to spend so she has enough money at the end of the month...

Just trying to provide light at the end of the tunnel

I think it depends how much money her friends are getting also...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Eck at 17.. i was 3 part time jobs full time health course and living on my own..driving lessons.

No one gave me a penny.

Ask your child and work out a plan of what they actually need

Can you look after your kids too well? I'd give our kids everything if I could

So it's not being mean, it's helping them in the long run.

Totally agree I got into debt because I didn’t want to ask the bank of mum and dad but now they are having to help more now it’s a no win situation. "

I didn't have a bank of mum and dad, I got actual bank loans and got myself into deep shit. I managed to eventually sort it and now just get what I need. I don't *need* a beach holiday so tough shit. I do need chocolate cake though.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Eck at 17.. i was 3 part time jobs full time health course and living on my own..driving lessons.

No one gave me a penny.

Ask your child and work out a plan of what they actually need

Can you look after your kids too well? I'd give our kids everything if I could

So it's not being mean, it's helping them in the long run.

I don't necessarily agree. We weren't in a position to give our kids the same has many of their friend's parents gave theirs. They both got themselves in debt .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God when I was still doing my gcse I had a part time job I had to pay my little sister £5 a week to do my chores for me as it was too much then when I went to college I still had my job I didn't pay board but my parents didn't buy anything for me either I even payed my bit towards family hol this is back in the late 90s

I left home at 19 after getting a full time job with accommodation

Never had pocket money we had to earn everything we got given think it gave me better respect for what I have or had.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Eck at 17.. i was 3 part time jobs full time health course and living on my own..driving lessons.

No one gave me a penny.

Ask your child and work out a plan of what they actually need

Can you look after your kids too well? I'd give our kids everything if I could

So it's not being mean, it's helping them in the long run.

I don't necessarily agree. We weren't in a position to give our kids the same has many of their friend's parents gave theirs. They both got themselves in debt ."

Good point. I suppose really, people need to take responsibility for themselves. We can try and help but in the end it's up to them what they do.

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