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"Did you check inside your pussy?" It's been missing a month. Think I would have noticed it | |||
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"Down the back of the bed?" Checked | |||
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"I recon the window cleaners borowed it" I clean my own windows | |||
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"It’s in the dishwasher. I put t there once I removed it this morning " Not senile yet | |||
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"Hay. The dog hasnt taken it down the garden. Chewed it and buried it." Beat me to it!! | |||
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"Under the bed, mattress, underneath your underwear in the drawer, on top of the wardrobes... the dog’s mess for bits of vibrator " You sound as if you have lost yours quiet a lot | |||
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"Under the bed, mattress, underneath your underwear in the drawer, on top of the wardrobes... the dog’s mess for bits of vibrator " | |||
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"In the cupboard behind the Mr Sheen " It's smaller so could be hiding. Nope not there | |||
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"On the door shelf in the fridge next to the milk" Once put my glasses there | |||
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"Bottom of laundry ? Under sheets in linin cupboard. ? Behind bedside draws..rolled off back.? Partner hide it..lol " None of the above | |||
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"Found one of mine down the side of the sofa or the bathroom cabinet - try there " No bathroom cabinet and last had it in the bedroom | |||
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"On the door shelf in the fridge next to the milk Once put my glasses there " well.. could be anywhere darling .. when do you last remember having it .. what was you doing with it | |||
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"Lost it. Need help finding it. Suggestions to where it may be " I may not be helpful to find vibrator, but I can suggest alternative option, buy cheap mobile and put into vibration mode and keep calling from other phone, shape is odd but would serve the purpose until you find your missing vib | |||
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"Are we talking about a bullet or a full size industrial Saturn five thingy" 5inch ish | |||
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"On the door shelf in the fridge next to the milk Once put my glasses there well.. could be anywhere darling .. when do you last remember having it .. what was you doing with it" Smacking it on my head | |||
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"Lost it. Need help finding it. Suggestions to where it may be I may not be helpful to find vibrator, but I can suggest alternative option, buy cheap mobile and put into vibration mode and keep calling from other phone, shape is odd but would serve the purpose until you find your missing vib" You ever read viz by any chance | |||
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"Lost it. Need help finding it. Suggestions to where it may be I may not be helpful to find vibrator, but I can suggest alternative option, buy cheap mobile and put into vibration mode and keep calling from other phone, shape is odd but would serve the purpose until you find your missing vib You ever read viz by any chance " No, only vibes | |||
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"Tied to the Zimmer frame? " Have you nicked it | |||
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"its rolled under your set of drawers. favourte places for knickers and toys to be found by workers. top of bed under the bed or at back of drawers or its managed to roll or be kicked under them. as I kinda mention it to cusomers when I know ive got to move things. " No looked | |||
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"In shoes slippers or wellies" Have some wellies | |||
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"Have you checked in all your handbags? " The time before last I did put it in a handbag. They were the first things I checked | |||
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"Somebody stolen it. Or borrowed." Don't want it back if it's borrowed | |||
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"Somebody stolen it. Or borrowed. Don't want it back if it's borrowed " perhaps the borrowers have nicked it | |||
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"Do you have kids... " Yes but don't live with me. Once asked son to get my passport out of my case. He rang shouting at me that he shook hands with a big black dildo. He knows never to go near my stuff now | |||
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"Found one of mine down the side of the sofa or the bathroom cabinet - try there No bathroom cabinet and last had it in the bedroom " Do you still have the boxes / pouches they come in... could you have put it back in a box with something else ? | |||
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"You do know that when and if you find It we're all desperate to know exactly where it was... Are we able to use the said mentioned black dildo till the missing one relocated.. " No had to get rid traumatised my son | |||
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"Found one of mine down the side of the sofa or the bathroom cabinet - try there No bathroom cabinet and last had it in the bedroom Do you still have the boxes / pouches they come in... could you have put it back in a box with something else ? " It's in it's pouch just don't know where | |||
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"The best way to trap a feral vibrator requires two people. Now what I am going to need you to do is throw on a body stocking or some other suitably alluring lingerie, note for best results knickers/body stocking need to be crotchless. Okay now set up a webcam to be pointing directly at a place in your bedroom where you have room to lie down, start broadcasting the webcam and send the link to someone you trust (like me for example ) Lay down with your legs spread in the area where the webcam is pointed and start playing with yourself. Heavy breathing, gentle sighs and the sounds of a foo getting wet should entice the vagrant vibe out of hiding. As you will be on your back you may not see its approach, so I shall act as a spotter via webcam and let you know when he is near enough to grab. PM and I will help, it's the least i can do " Omg you make me smile | |||
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"Left it at mine? " No took it with me | |||
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"Lost it. Need help finding it. Suggestions to where it may be " It's in one of the kitchen cupboards your son thought it was a food blender | |||
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" Omg you make me smile " This is a bona-fide solution!! Okay it may take some time, but I am prepared to sit, wait, and observe diligently for the dastardly dildo to make an appearance. If this doesn't work you may need to get on all fours (with your arse facing the camera obviously) and do a crossword puzzle. The voracious vibe likes to catch one off their guard. It helps if you jiggle a bit.. | |||
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"Reminds me of a very old joke where a guy goes to the doctors with something stuck in his bottom. Quick examination reveals it’s a vibrator, well and truly stuck. Doctor explains it can only be removed BT surgery. Patient says” oh doc, don’t want it removed, can you just change the batteries “." | |||
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"Somebody stolen it. Or borrowed. Don't want it back if it's borrowed " But you’d be happy to have it back if it was stolen? Have you checked in your car? If you put it on your car roof it could be anywhere now. | |||
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"Lost it. Need help finding it. Suggestions to where it may be " Where did you last have it? As parents would often say when something is lost! | |||
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"Did your mum use it make a cake, thinking it was a funky new type of whisk " Not my mum but my daughter would. Last seen in my bedroom | |||
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"Your last meet took it as a trophy/wank material x" Was alone when last used | |||
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"Somebody stolen it. Or borrowed. Don't want it back if it's borrowed But you’d be happy to have it back if it was stolen? Have you checked in your car? If you put it on your car roof it could be anywhere now. " Don't drive | |||
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"Somebody stolen it. Or borrowed. Don't want it back if it's borrowed But you’d be happy to have it back if it was stolen? Have you checked in your car? If you put it on your car roof it could be anywhere now. Don't drive " you drive men wild..... Of course you do | |||
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"We need the csi team x" Oh yes please | |||
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"We need the csi team x Oh yes please " csi....... Can't see it | |||
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"checked in the dog/cat?? " Don't own any but did check the fish tank | |||
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"checked in the dog/cat?? " Cat ran off with a ball gag once | |||
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"I've a couple you can try " Not pile drivers are they I'm only little | |||
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"checked in the dog/cat?? Cat ran off with a ball gag once " Fuck me. That's funny | |||
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"We need the csi team x Oh yes please csi....... Can't see it " Nice play on words | |||
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"Coat pocket. Definitely. " Is that where you leave yours | |||
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"Still no joy? What are we going to do when this thread gets too big? Please continue in anither one, I need closure. " I'm at work now the quest continues when u get home | |||
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"Have you tryed the wash basket x" I wash every other day. Haven t seen it in about a month. Have looked for it 5 times now and give up cos normal places not to be seen | |||
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"In the dog bed? " I need to get a dog. Everyone seems to blame them | |||
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"In the dog bed? I need to get a dog. Everyone seems to blame them " Exactly so therefore you can pass the blame | |||
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"Perhaps you simply wore it out and away through excessive use? " I have broke rabbits in the past but this one is Definately missing | |||
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"Still no joy? What are we going to do when this thread gets too big? Please continue in anither one, I need closure. I'm at work now the quest continues when u get home " When I get home?! You think it could be in my place? That's some travelling it's done! Did you put it down & forget to turn it off & it's wiggled & jiggled all the way here on its own? | |||
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"Can’t believe no-one appears to have said down the back of a sofa. I found Lord Lucan and Shergar down the back of mine along with everything else under the sun." At least 5 have said it. I have looked but didn't use it there the last time | |||
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"Still no joy? What are we going to do when this thread gets too big? Please continue in anither one, I need closure. I'm at work now the quest continues when u get home When I get home?! You think it could be in my place? That's some travelling it's done! Did you put it down & forget to turn it off & it's wiggled & jiggled all the way here on its own? " Shhh lost my glasses now | |||
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"Still no joy? What are we going to do when this thread gets too big? Please continue in anither one, I need closure. I'm at work now the quest continues when u get home When I get home?! You think it could be in my place? That's some travelling it's done! Did you put it down & forget to turn it off & it's wiggled & jiggled all the way here on its own? Shhh lost my glasses now " What are you like | |||
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"Still no joy? What are we going to do when this thread gets too big? Please continue in anither one, I need closure. I'm at work now the quest continues when u get home When I get home?! You think it could be in my place? That's some travelling it's done! Did you put it down & forget to turn it off & it's wiggled & jiggled all the way here on its own? Shhh lost my glasses now What are you like " I lose stuff what can I say | |||
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"Still no joy? What are we going to do when this thread gets too big? Please continue in anither one, I need closure. I'm at work now the quest continues when u get home When I get home?! You think it could be in my place? That's some travelling it's done! Did you put it down & forget to turn it off & it's wiggled & jiggled all the way here on its own? Shhh lost my glasses now What are you like I lose stuff what can I say " maybe it's like a cat and it climbed in a delivery van un noticed an got out at the next stop | |||
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"Still no joy? What are we going to do when this thread gets too big? Please continue in anither one, I need closure. I'm at work now the quest continues when u get home When I get home?! You think it could be in my place? That's some travelling it's done! Did you put it down & forget to turn it off & it's wiggled & jiggled all the way here on its own? Shhh lost my glasses now What are you like I lose stuff what can I say maybe it's like a cat and it climbed in a delivery van un noticed an got out at the next stop " You been on the sauce I've not been stuffing a cat up me | |||
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"Maybe it's been stolen like the vibe equivalent of a gnome thief, very soon you will start to receive postcards/pictures of your vibe on its hols " Crying my friend had that done with a gnome. I would find it hilarious if it happened | |||
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"Maybe it's been stolen like the vibe equivalent of a gnome thief, very soon you will start to receive postcards/pictures of your vibe on its hols Crying my friend had that done with a gnome. I would find it hilarious if it happened " What colour was it, and do you think it would like to explore the beaches, moorland and Poldark/Jamaica inn attractions of Cornwall and Devon? Just you know... asking | |||
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"Maybe it's been stolen like the vibe equivalent of a gnome thief, very soon you will start to receive postcards/pictures of your vibe on its hols Crying my friend had that done with a gnome. I would find it hilarious if it happened What colour was it, and do you think it would like to explore the beaches, moorland and Poldark/Jamaica inn attractions of Cornwall and Devon? Just you know... asking" Pink and in a pink pouch | |||
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"Maybe it's been stolen like the vibe equivalent of a gnome thief, very soon you will start to receive postcards/pictures of your vibe on its hols Crying my friend had that done with a gnome. I would find it hilarious if it happened What colour was it, and do you think it would like to explore the beaches, moorland and Poldark/Jamaica inn attractions of Cornwall and Devon? Just you know... asking Pink and in a pink pouch " Does it have ears? | |||
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"Maybe it's been stolen like the vibe equivalent of a gnome thief, very soon you will start to receive postcards/pictures of your vibe on its hols Crying my friend had that done with a gnome. I would find it hilarious if it happened What colour was it, and do you think it would like to explore the beaches, moorland and Poldark/Jamaica inn attractions of Cornwall and Devon? Just you know... asking Pink and in a pink pouch Does it have ears?" No don't do thay kind anymore. Break too easy | |||
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"Was going to ask what I always get asked.....where dud you last have it " Know where I had it. Don't know where I've put it | |||
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"Was going to ask what I always get asked.....where dud you last have it Know where I had it. Don't know where I've put it " it's definatly not where you last had it have you checked pmsl | |||
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"Was going to ask what I always get asked.....where dud you last have it Know where I had it. Don't know where I've put it it's definatly not where you last had it have you checked pmsl " I need a pint then back to the search of the missing vibe | |||
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"Was going to ask what I always get asked.....where dud you last have it Know where I had it. Don't know where I've put it it's definatly not where you last had it have you checked pmsl I need a pint then back to the search of the missing vibe " if you have a pint 1st you'll never find it | |||
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"Maybe it's been stolen like the vibe equivalent of a gnome thief, very soon you will start to receive postcards/pictures of your vibe on its hols Crying my friend had that done with a gnome. I would find it hilarious if it happened What colour was it, and do you think it would like to explore the beaches, moorland and Poldark/Jamaica inn attractions of Cornwall and Devon? Just you know... asking Pink and in a pink pouch Does it have ears? No don't do thay kind anymore. Break too easy " | |||
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"Maybe it's been stolen like the vibe equivalent of a gnome thief, very soon you will start to receive postcards/pictures of your vibe on its hols Crying my friend had that done with a gnome. I would find it hilarious if it happened What colour was it, and do you think it would like to explore the beaches, moorland and Poldark/Jamaica inn attractions of Cornwall and Devon? Just you know... asking Pink and in a pink pouch Does it have ears? No don't do thay kind anymore. Break too easy " Rabbits ? | |||
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"Buried under the patio, that’s where lovers typically end up!" That was at my last house. No patio here plus not fallen out with it | |||
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"Maybe it's been stolen like the vibe equivalent of a gnome thief, very soon you will start to receive postcards/pictures of your vibe on its hols Crying my friend had that done with a gnome. I would find it hilarious if it happened What colour was it, and do you think it would like to explore the beaches, moorland and Poldark/Jamaica inn attractions of Cornwall and Devon? Just you know... asking Pink and in a pink pouch Does it have ears? No don't do thay kind anymore. Break too easy Rabbits ? " You need a Doxy, drop-forged and made in Cornwall... they do a 24k gold plated one.... | |||
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"Have you checked your make up bag?" I have 3 things that I wear for make up so no bag needed | |||
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"I was going to ask if you found it. Looks like it's still missing. Have you checked the other bedrooms. If kids in the house they may have found it.... Also check next door neighbors garden .. I had a selection of dildos/vibrators I had put away in the shed years ago and my daughter found them then threw them over the fence... I was mortified when my neighbor knocked on my door with said toys in a bag. " I remember laughing the first time you posted that. I just laughed again lol. @OP - underneath the carrier bags in the under stairs cupboard? Just to the right of the gas meter..no..down a little. Yep, there it is! | |||
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"I was going to ask if you found it. Looks like it's still missing. Have you checked the other bedrooms. If kids in the house they may have found it.... Also check next door neighbors garden .. I had a selection of dildos/vibrators I had put away in the shed years ago and my daughter found them then threw them over the fence... I was mortified when my neighbor knocked on my door with said toys in a bag. " That's funny. Don't have a shed | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much " Whoop whoop! Welcome back Norman | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much " wow that is brilliant news | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much " Lucky Norman!! Or was he hiding? | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much Lucky Norman!! Or was he hiding? " I just throw bills in there. He was well hidden | |||
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"So tempted to change my username to Norman..... " Dare you | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much Lucky Norman!! Or was he hiding? I just throw bills in there. He was well hidden " I have a similar approach (to bills, not Normans) - wonder what I have buried?? | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much Lucky Norman!! Or was he hiding? I just throw bills in there. He was well hidden I have a similar approach (to bills, not Normans) - wonder what I have buried?? " Check and let me know | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much " Is he happy? | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much Lucky Norman!! Or was he hiding? I just throw bills in there. He was well hidden I have a similar approach (to bills, not Normans) - wonder what I have buried?? Check and let me know " That's where the handcuffs went | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much Is he happy? " We both will be later | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much Lucky Norman!! Or was he hiding? I just throw bills in there. He was well hidden I have a similar approach (to bills, not Normans) - wonder what I have buried?? Check and let me know That's where the handcuffs went " Omg I haven't seen my handcuffs in ages | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much Lucky Norman!! Or was he hiding? I just throw bills in there. He was well hidden I have a similar approach (to bills, not Normans) - wonder what I have buried?? Check and let me know That's where the handcuffs went Omg I haven't seen my handcuffs in ages " Now I have refound mine you can use them | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much Lucky Norman!! Or was he hiding? I just throw bills in there. He was well hidden I have a similar approach (to bills, not Normans) - wonder what I have buried?? Check and let me know That's where the handcuffs went Omg I haven't seen my handcuffs in ages Now I have refound mine you can use them " Do not give me them I'll lose them | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much Is he happy? We both will be later " buzzing then.. | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much Lucky Norman!! Or was he hiding? I just throw bills in there. He was well hidden I have a similar approach (to bills, not Normans) - wonder what I have buried?? Check and let me know That's where the handcuffs went Omg I haven't seen my handcuffs in ages Now I have refound mine you can use them Do not give me them I'll lose them " Can't lose them if you are wearing them | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much Is he happy? We both will be later buzzing then.. " You make me laugh. I'm definitely buzzing | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much Is he happy? We both will be later buzzing then.. You make me laugh. I'm definitely buzzing " Well make sure he's fully charged.. Nowt worse than our Norman losing his get up and go at the wrong moment.. | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much Is he happy? We both will be later buzzing then.. You make me laugh. I'm definitely buzzing Well make sure he's fully charged.. Nowt worse than our Norman losing his get up and go at the wrong moment.. " Full pack of batteries ready | |||
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"I like to say thank you everyone for your concern and helpful suggestions. I've found Norman the vibrator. He was in a drawer with all my bills and documents. Can tell I don't use that drawer much Is he happy? We both will be later buzzing then.. You make me laugh. I'm definitely buzzing Well make sure he's fully charged.. Nowt worse than our Norman losing his get up and go at the wrong moment.. Full pack of batteries ready " | |||
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"Lucky Norman " He will be later | |||
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"Lucky Norman He will be later " I'm sure you're both looking forward to it | |||
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"Lucky Norman He will be later " On it! | |||
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"Lucky Norman He will be later On it!" Not yet. Psyching myself up | |||
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"Lucky Norman He will be later On it! Not yet. Psyching myself up " Go easy on him, he's been a bit out of touch.. | |||
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"Lucky Norman He will be later On it! Not yet. Psyching myself up " Good to hear | |||
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"Lucky Norman He will be later On it! Not yet. Psyching myself up Good to hear" You have just given me the biggest smile. You better keep that name now | |||
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