FabSwingers.com forum: Accommodating

By *ersnickety Pants OP Woman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

I've been reading the forums for a while & one thing that gets me wondering when people are asking for profile advice is why do people advise men that they should maybe state why they can't accommodate?

I understand that obviously the person could be playing away/cheating on a partner who doesn't know they are on here.

Should someone have to explain themselves as to their choices or reasons behind certain things?

Should women also put a line on their profile to state why they can't accommodate if they have their profile set to that?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I believe people should do whatever they want with their profile. But they're asking why they don't have any luck usually, and that can be part of it for men, however right or wrong that may be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's enough to know they can't host, i don't see any reason to go into it further.

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By *is BitchCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

No one should have to explain themselves..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, but then by doing so it may make one more appealing and understandable than the viewer jumping to their own conclusions.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Its up to the person to put what they feel happy to on their profile.

I tend to look at the whole picture,not just if they can accom or not.People do jump to conclusions here,esp with men who can't accom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only have it marked for the benefit of single females. I don’t accommodate couples now after two bad experiences.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

I often give profile help, it's not something I advise guys to do but if I thought it would help them get meets I would.

Is it hypocritical ? I suppose so, it can come down to the perceived view that guys cheat more than women do, so they're expected to explain themselves more.

However I won't be advising anyone to explain why they can't accommodate, as that's the sort of thing that should be discussed whilst messaging each other, when it comes up because sooner or later it will. How do you meet without discussing whereabouts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No.

If people want to make assumptions about others perhaps bring driven by whatever distorted prejudice they have says much more about them than the person they are making such assumptions about...

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Because saying my dear old mum lives with me is just not sexy... I could go into a long winded explanation about it, explain she's unwell, it was the best choice, but the reality is that some will believe and others won't...

So every couple of months I pack her off to Spain (like now) and accommodate.. I don't explain anything on my profile anymore, it is generally wasted. I would say most people look at the bio bit, then your pics and go from there. Single guys heavily outnumber others on this site, so I fully respect those that avoid ones that don't accommodate, you know it's just fab.. Some people judge, some people don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No...I'll leave that for the hypocrites

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is....

I can't accommodate..meaning the person cannot for whatever reason.

And

I DON'T accommodate...meaning the person doesn't want to even if they could.

I don't accommodate on my single profile because I don't want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I could host, I was very honest about it. I had a mad few years where I’d separated from my wife, but had agreed that she and the kids could have access to the house whenever they wanted, I had more space than they did for play dates etc.

Generally it worked well, and I was able to host without any issues, then one day she walked in whilst I had someone over and so I agreed at that point, that I wouldn’t have people over for adult play dates any more.

I think a lot of people jump to conclusions, the obvious one being that the guy is married or has a girlfriend. I think that sort of assumption says more about the person making it than having it made about them.

I’m reality, if you can host, you don’t have to say why on your profile, but opening the door to why you can’t isn't a bad move, something like...

‘No, I can’t accommodate, but ask me why and you might be surprised...’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And no I don't think people need to explain why on their profiles x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No because the fab double standard favours women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only have it marked for the benefit of single females. I don’t accommodate couples now after two bad experiences. "

Man Summers can you elaborate a little more about that? I’m about to host a couple for the first time and would be good to know what to be aware of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its up to the person to put what they feel happy to on their profile.

I tend to look at the whole picture,not just if they can accom or not.People do jump to conclusions here,esp with men who can't accom."

Agree. People jump to conclusions whatever is said. And how can you tell if a reason given is true anyway? Most women won't accommodate, often for personal safety. I can't see why the same presumption doesn't apply to guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only have it marked for the benefit of single females. I don’t accommodate couples now after two bad experiences.

Man Summers can you elaborate a little more about that? I’m about to host a couple for the first time and would be good to know what to be aware of. "

It was just those two that were bad. I think it’s not happen again, so don’t worry.

The first was poor communication. They’d asked if the meet could be at mine (no mention of staying), so I happily agreed. We had a few drinks and everything went well until proceedings due to a close. I said it was nice meeting and it had been great expecting them to leave... they asked where they were staying! They then said they’d had too much to drink and couldn’t drive. I said it wasn’t my problem as I had a housemate who’d be home in a few hours after their shift at a nightclub. As stated, then staying was never discussed, so after a few choice words and almost getting to the point of me threatening the male with violence or the police, they left.

The second was just because the guy was a right weirdo and I could tell his wife wasn’t into it. They’d driven quite far to come to me, so didn’t take it very well when I said it wasn’t happening as they made me feel uncomfortable and I pretty much had to kick them out.

I’ve met great couples before and after who I’d happily have at mine, so don’t worry. It’s just my choice to go to theirs or hotels for first time meets now.

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