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Sexual performance anxiety?

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By *ifferent69 OP   Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK

Does anyone else have this to a various degree?

I enjoy the natural some may say primal aspect of sex...

Though after always feeling my performance was,nt adequate for others I,ve been with,and I,ve been very underwhelming.

This in turn creates anxiety for the next time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, not having enough skills, not being exciting enough, not being able to deep throat, just not being their thing and doing it for them..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No i don't..

If i did i would never meet anyone

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By *estSussexGuy76Man
over a year ago

copthorne

When I was younger I did ....

But now I look at all forms of sex as fun.... So if you can't laugh at yourself ( If things don't go to plan ) then it just makes sex boring ...

I love the feel of excitement especially with first time partners

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didn t but do now... Gf used to climax everytime, over last few weeks get her close but she just wont let em go lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have sex any more, therefore no anxiety! Can't say I ever suffered from it though, was always too much in the moment. I'm sure it's different for men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes if I was meeting someone from this site for sex, then I think I would feel like that.. Because I'm not a very experienced man and the ladies on here are very experienced and I have seen many profiles asking for experienced men.

I used to think meh who needs lots of experience, sex isn't rocket science.. But time and time again I have seen women seeking experienced men, so it makes me feel anxiety.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At first I did - if i'm committed and hot blooded on a meet, I find I dont even hesitate.

If I'm hesitating, I probably shouldn't be there.

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

I think fab propagates the ideal of the ‘expert swordsman’ (you don’t see many veris saying people were ‘average’ or ‘poor’. This naturally leads guys to worry if their own performance will be up to scratch. This is a viscous circle and overthinking it will affect your performance. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy!

I’d be honest with a potential partner(s) about your concerns, if the worst happens it happens. They will either deal with it and you’ll no doubt carry on and have a good time or, if they don’t (or you make your excuses) you probably won’t be/want to meet them again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, with age and experience has come confidence, as in every area of my life. You're not always going to be feeling it, you're not always going to click, shit happens, sometimes men may have difficulty with getting or maintaining an erection, or holding themselves back in a new encounter. Grownups get this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is different for us all, it doesn't have to be bells and whistles every time surely, meaning there are different ways to enjoy things. If someone is still there with you at the end then I reckon you've done ok

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By *man013Man
over a year ago

Derby

My biggest pressure I’d say is making sure the lass finishes as I have so many female friends who complain about it being shit I feel pressured to ensure the lady finishes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My biggest pressure I’d say is making sure the lass finishes as I have so many female friends who complain about it being shit I feel pressured to ensure the lady finishes"

Maybe they should take a more pro-active approach instead of whinging to others?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surety you just go with it and enjoy it, it’s not a competition

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Sometimes.

Sometimes you chat to folk and they give youna “scenario” of what they plan to do to you. Usually involves bedroom gymnastics and me orgasming 35 times and gushing like a geyser.

It makes me anxious (slightly) as it kind of puts pressure on me to be a performing seal, so i either don’t meet them or i meet them and i’m left wondering if my one orgasm was enough for them.

Also those who bang on about past meets sucking their cock like a dyson and everything else they did (that they expect you to do, and do it even better) - makes me feel meh.

Not everytime. But sometimes.

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By *man013Man
over a year ago

Derby

Eh it’s not a competition I just know I can finish rather easily and I just put pressure on myself to ensure girls finish as I don’t want anyone faking I want them to actually enjoy it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No, with age and experience has come confidence, as in every area of my life. You're not always going to be feeling it, you're not always going to click, shit happens, sometimes men may have difficulty with getting or maintaining an erection, or holding themselves back in a new encounter. Grownups get this."

Love this post.

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By *ifferent69 OP   Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK


"I think fab propagates the ideal of the ‘expert swordsman’ (you don’t see many veris saying people were ‘average’ or ‘poor’. This naturally leads guys to worry if their own performance will be up to scratch. This is a viscous circle and overthinking it will affect your performance. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy!

I’d be honest with a potential partner(s) about your concerns, if the worst happens it happens. They will either deal with it and you’ll no doubt carry on and have a good time or, if they don’t (or you make your excuses) you probably won’t be/want to meet them again. "

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By *ifferent69 OP   Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK


"Sex is different for us all, it doesn't have to be bells and whistles every time surely, meaning there are different ways to enjoy things. If someone is still there with you at the end then I reckon you've done ok "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I tend to live in the moment and go with what feels right.

I think this is probably more an issue for men though, the perceived onus is on them to be some kind of stallion and have loads of tricks and treats when really sex takes two, there's so much more to it than the physical acts, if the chemistry is right then mediocre sex can me mind-blowing just like if it isn't there then no matter how good your performance is it just won't cut it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just wouldn't want to disappoint anyone. I like pleasing and if I couldnt please a fab lady enough then I think it would eat me up and i would feel like a failure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No. I tend to live in the moment and go with what feels right.

I think this is probably more an issue for men though, the perceived onus is on them to be some kind of stallion and have loads of tricks and treats when really sex takes two, there's so much more to it than the physical acts, if the chemistry is right then mediocre sex can me mind-blowing just like if it isn't there then no matter how good your performance is it just won't cut it. "

I agree with this.

In the past I've not met people if I felt that the expectation or pressure was on me to be some form of machine or they took the attitude that it was about 'measuring up'.

Sex should be mutual.

Tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t say I’ve ever felt this.

I have a pre meet ritual...I look in the mirror, put on my Eddie Murphy voice and I say “you’re a stallion baby”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Performance?....

It's not a competition OP, ever. We are none of us circus animals....

Isn't it more about what we give receive share, rather than worrying about keeping score?

Perhaps feeling the need to "perform" less, and relate more, may be better for you, and for others?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have thought about this more since considering going to clubs. If I were to get the opportunity to play there, it would be on my mind as to how long I’d last.

Given no prior history of playing in a club and not having had sex for about a year, I don’t think I’d be able to get it off my mind.

Tongue wouldn’t be affected, mind....and he’s a bit of a demon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not having the stamina I once had because of depression meds does tend to bother me (mr) but I'm working fairly hard to get my fitness back up to counter act it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not having the stamina I once had because of depression meds does tend to bother me (mr) but I'm working fairly hard to get my fitness back up to counter act it"

Just pound it to the max!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No but i know im the greatest fuck in the universe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I fancy the guy, all is well. If I don't, we won't have sex. Simple as that. If we get on and chemistry is mutual, then we'll find out how to work our bodies.

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By *r AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

Dublin


"If I fancy the guy, all is well. If I don't, we won't have sex. Simple as that. If we get on and chemistry is mutual, then we'll find out how to work our bodies."
good Jesus

You can work my body anyday

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro


"Performance?....

It's not a competition OP, ever. We are none of us circus animals....

Isn't it more about what we give receive share, rather than worrying about keeping score?

Perhaps feeling the need to "perform" less, and relate more, may be better for you, and for others?

Miss you hine

"

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

Never have any preconceptions and do what feels natural, go with the atmosphere and flow, if you meet the same person again it always gets better, IMO

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

For me, there's always a little bit of this the first time. But I always feel at ease with the person which takes the edge off

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I once got so nervous I dropped one of my juggling balls and sang a bit out of tune! Usually I’m spot on.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I do have wobbles. An ex cheated on me and blamed it on my inability to take a very hard, deep pounding because I find it uncomfortable. I try not to let my insecurities ruin experiences for me though. As long as they seem to be enjoying themselves its all good and the best experiences are when you communicate with each other in order to create a satisfying experience for you both rather than it being about "specific skills".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do have wobbles. An ex cheated on me and blamed it on my inability to take a very hard, deep pounding because I find it uncomfortable. I try not to let my insecurities ruin experiences for me though. As long as they seem to be enjoying themselves its all good and the best experiences are when you communicate with each other in order to create a satisfying experience for you both rather than it being about "specific skills"."

He sounds like an arsehole

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I do have wobbles. An ex cheated on me and blamed it on my inability to take a very hard, deep pounding because I find it uncomfortable. I try not to let my insecurities ruin experiences for me though. As long as they seem to be enjoying themselves its all good and the best experiences are when you communicate with each other in order to create a satisfying experience for you both rather than it being about "specific skills".

He sounds like an arsehole "

Aye

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By *irage200Man
over a year ago

north west

Communicate, don't be shy, take an interest in the person, be confident but respectful and just have fun.

More you over think and evaluate yourself more chance of poor performance you will have.

All else fails always blue pills probably make drive home bit uncomfortable lol.

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