FabSwingers.com forum: corny jokes

By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Anyone got any corny or clever jokes ?

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

A man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his nose. The doctor says "I'd better give you some cream to put on that."

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

A man goes to the doctor naked, wrapped in cling-film. The doctor says "I can clearly see you're nuts."

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

Who invented see through bras???? Seymour tit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glass coffins...

Will they become popular?

Remains to be seen.

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

Has anyone seen the new James bond viagra?....

Apparently it makes you Roger Moore.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

What is Forrest Gumps Password?

1Forrest1

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By *ssex_tom OP Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Man wakes up in hospital after a terrible accident.

Nurse Nurse! I can't feel my legs..

I am not surprised. We have amputated your arms..

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

"Man wakes up in hospital after a terrible accident.

Nurse Nurse! I can't feel my legs..

I am not surprised. We have amputated your arms.."
spat my coffee out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When does a car not become a car?

When it turns into a driveway.

I'll get my coat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Corny chat up,

You remind me of my big toe as I know that one day I will bang you on my kitchen table.

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

Worst birthday ever ! I got a parcel full of ripped up cardboard .

My own fault really shouldn’t have hinted I wanted an ex box . .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got a roll of bubble wrap delivered to work

My boss told me to pop it in office

6 hours I was there

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By *rebor1955Man
over a year ago

Bristol

I went to my doctor saying l thought I was Tom Jones he replied It's Not Unusual.

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

I relabeled all the jars in my wife's spice rack.

I'm not in trouble yet but the thyme is cumin.

I'd like to see a world without plagiarism.

You may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one.

Has anyone seen that Elton John film, is it a comedy? My mate said it's a little bit funny...

I’ve had an allergic reaction to Rowan Atkinson.

My doctor has prescribed a course of Antimisterbeans.

I'm here all week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where do boats go when they get sick?

To the dock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a giraffe and a digger?

Ones got hydraulics the others got high bollocks

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By *att71Man
over a year ago

Bristol

Old chinease proverb

Women who fly upside down...crack up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do divers always fall backwards into the sea?

Because if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I asked my Welsh mate how many sexual partners he has had

He started counting and fell asleep

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By *hat The CuckCouple
over a year ago

South London

I was at a restaurant and said to the waitress ”Excuse me, can I ask you something about the menu please?”

She kicked me out and said “The men I please are none of your business!”

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

A man walks into the doctors with a frog on his head.

Doctor says: so what seems to be the problem?

The frog says: well it all started with this pimple on my bum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a nun that sleepwalks?

A roamin’ Catholic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man picks up with the speaker phone on and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops talking.

MAN: ”Hello?”

WOMAN: “Hi Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

MAN: “Yes.”

WOMAN: “I’m at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”

MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”

WOMAN:”I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked.”

MAN: ”How much?”

WOMAN: “$50,000.”

MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”

WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing… I was just talking to Kate and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $980,000 for it.”

MAN: “Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it’s what you really want.”

WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!”

MAN: “Bye! I love you, too.”

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

He turns and asks, “Anyone know who’s phone this is?”

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By *lutandhubbyCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

I was kid napped by a gang of mime artists...

They did unspeakable things to me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a nun that sleepwalks?

A roamin’ Catholic "

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do divers always fall backwards into the sea?

Because if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do women have legs?

Have you seen the mess a snail makes?

What do you call a bird with no legs?

Oomegoolie

Because when it lands it cries out oomegoolies

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By *ossnsecretaryCouple
over a year ago

Epsom

The lady next door came knocking on the door complaining her underwear has been stolen from the washing line and she was threatening to call the police!

Well I nearly shat her pants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

A lass is out for a few drinks with her mates, having had a good time they decide to continue the night and hit a night club...

In the club she spots this drop dead gorgeous guy who happens to be an acquaintance of one her mates.

Introductions are made and she soon realises she's in the company of one of the most charming, intelligent and humerous men she's ever met, when speaking directly to her she is totally in meltdown and finds herself tingling all over.

. Sensing her attraction her mates discreetly leave her alone with him.. He offers a lift home or would she care for coffee at his.. She opts for the coffee.. Being totally bedazzled with him she knows things are going to get physical though she wasn't normally a girl who gave out on a first night..

Leading her into the bedroom she notices 3 shelves above the bed each filled with cuddly toys.. Little ones on the bottom medium sized ones on the middle and big toys on the top shelf.. She thinks ah he's got a caring soft side as well..

Never in all her life had she been made love to like she was that night.. Passionate, gentle, lustful the full McCoy.. He pleased her every way no man had ever pleased her before... Lying there in the after glow.. She thinks my god where has he been all my life... Witty.. Charming.. Polite. Humerous caring intelligent .. What a lover.. Leaning on side looking into his eyes she informed him that their love making was out of this world the best she'd ever experienced.. How was it was you..? She asked... Not bad he replied.. Help your self to a toy off the middle shelf......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you know that Jeremy needle had a massive cock?

but on the other hand it was fairly small

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By *att71Man
over a year ago

Bristol

A family are lost driving round southern Ireland trying to get to Dublin to catch their ferry home.

At last They drive into a little village and the wife says "look their is a shop open stop and ask for directions"

The man pulls over and walks in asking " excuse me but we are lost. Could you tell us the quickest way to Dublin please"

Shopkeeper replies "ah to be sure, now would be walking or driving to Dublin?"

"Driving" the man replies

"Then that'll be the quickest way to Dublin" replies the shopkeeper.

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

"A family are lost driving round southern Ireland trying to get to Dublin to catch their ferry home.

At last They drive into a little village and the wife says "look their is a shop open stop and ask for directions"

The man pulls over and walks in asking " excuse me but we are lost. Could you tell us the quickest way to Dublin please"

Shopkeeper replies "ah to be sure, now would be walking or driving to Dublin?"

"Driving" the man replies

"Then that'll be the quickest way to Dublin" replies the shopkeeper.

Meh

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