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male and female friendships

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By *iss_serenity OP   Woman
over a year ago

nottingham

my best friend in the whole world is male and we were talking the other night about what would happen if either of us started dating someone and what impact it would have on our friendship.

my point of _iew was that it would not end well. of course in an ideal world there would be no such thing as jealousy but i think if he got himself a girlfriend, she would not like the fact he spends as much time talking to me as he does or would feel the same if he told her he was going to my house to play xbox or watch a film as she would if he was going to a male friends house.

his point of _iew is it shouldn't matter and if our future partners could not deal with us and our friendship then they are not the ones for me or him and he would easierly get rid of a partner if she did not accept it.

so i'm curious, can men and women be best friends or is it safer and easier to be bbf with our own sex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just dont end up in bed

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

i have to say i am with your mate here. as long as their partner was made to feel welomed in your dynamic then there shouldnt be a problem

all of my friends hated my ex yet they never made it a n issue ad we were always inited to their houses etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Na it will never work out that way im afraid.

Question and answer honestly yeah!. Do you secretly have feelings for your male friend or does he have them for you??

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Some of my long-standing best friends from my teen years are guys.

They are all married now, or with long-term partners, and I also now consider their partners to be friends now.

I see one of them every couple of days, we still have days and evenings out together, Im godmother to his two kids and I go on holiday with his family.

I know all of them would do anything for me, as I would them.

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By *iss_serenity OP   Woman
over a year ago

nottingham

lol i love the guy to death, but not like that. as friends we work, in a relationship, we would end up killing each other lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing is if your friend did get a girlfriend your friendship would take a back seat anyway because thats just what happens when you start a relationship, what sex you are matters not, when your single you can go out with your mates ever weekend, go to each others houses got a drink most nights etc but when your in a relationship you just dont do that you go out with your partner and spend time building your relationship instead

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I cant see the difference of male friends to female friends, if one of my female friends got into a new relationship id hopefully become friends with them as well. If a partner cant deal with it then i dont think they would be the right person.

My son has mainly female friends and goes to stay with one of them and her boyfriend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello miss.

Well my best friend for many years is a guy.. love him to bits.. yet everytime he gets a girl she HATES what he has with me and another female friend... and it pretty much spells the death for the relationship..

I tend to keep a low profile in the early days... but everyone so far hasnt got that he will ring me if he has a problem.. or come over to take me out.

Yet other way around.. My Master loves that I have someone to do movie nights with etc..

It will depend on the other person to be fair.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its fine and possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex.

If the new partner can't accept that then they have to get with the times and respect you have a best friend of the opposite sex. And if they can't respect/trust you on that front... then you can't really have a decent relationship with them. In my opinion anyway.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

Steve's best friend for years wasa woman, I haven't got a problem with it, they've been on holiday together but don't see so much of each other these days but that's only because of geographical constraints - I trust him - why should I be troubled if he has a female friend? Z

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

Iv been friends with my best male friend for years,we have always been there for each other,even when wev each had partners,i absolutly adore him,it has never caused problems,and there is no sexual chemistry from either of us,its just the same as having my best female friend,i treasure my friends,they have both seen me through some bad times,and i have been the same for them,friends are precious,wether male or female

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think its fine and possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex.

If the new partner can't accept that then they have to get with the times and respect you have a best friend of the opposite sex. And if they can't respect/trust you on that front... then you can't really have a decent relationship with them. In my opinion anyway."

question is how would you feel if you started seeing a woman and she told you she was going out with her friend who happens to be male, would you be comfy with your women going out on the piss with another man?

cause at the end of the day thats how you have to see it

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

i know Em wouldnt like it, and I wouldnt like it with her either.

dont know why.

maybe its because i firmly believe you cant have a close friendship with the opposite sex without one party thinking/wanting/hoping for more, i dont know.

saying that, i dont really do best friends anyway because i've not really met anyone that has deserved that title.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

My best friend is a girl. We've known each other for 10 years and happily neither of us has ever wanted to take it further.

I might have slept with her when I first knew her but now she's like a sister. I know that's a cliche but it's true.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

yes they can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my closest friends is a married man. Every week he sends me a dozen red roses. When he was in hospital his wife phoned me to let me know.

Once a month I go to Milton Keynes and and take him to lunch and every couple of months we dress up to take in a West End show.

His wife is disabled and happy he has something to look forward to and he's happy.

Not sure she'd like me so much if he wasn't impotent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/02/12 18:46:42]

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By *iss_serenity OP   Woman
over a year ago

nottingham

i guess the idea of explaining how we met and the obvious question of "have you ever slept together" is the ones that worries me.

is it just the problem of sex thats the issue? a man never really worries that his girlfriend is gonna run off and sleep with their best female friend, but can you say the same about a male one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

his point of _iew is it shouldn't matter and if our future partners could not deal with us and our friendship then they are not the ones for me or him and he would easierly get rid of a partner if she did not accept it.

"

This bit of your post intrigued me

No it really shouldn't make any difference to friendships formed before the relationship

However if he is willing to put you before his future happiness i really feel you should talk to him about his real feelings for you

Good luck whatever xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"my best friend in the whole world is male and we were talking the other night about what would happen if either of us started dating someone and what impact it would have on our friendship.

my point of _iew was that it would not end well. of course in an ideal world there would be no such thing as jealousy but i think if he got himself a girlfriend, she would not like the fact he spends as much time talking to me as he does or would feel the same if he told her he was going to my house to play xbox or watch a film as she would if he was going to a male friends house.

his point of _iew is it shouldn't matter and if our future partners could not deal with us and our friendship then they are not the ones for me or him and he would easierly get rid of a partner if she did not accept it.

so i'm curious, can men and women be best friends or is it safer and easier to be bbf with our own sex?"
it sounds like u2 get on very well have u2 thought about going out with eachother as a couple?.

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By *iss_serenity OP   Woman
over a year ago

nottingham

lol, we get that all the time. but we've had "the talk" and we're too selfish to risk our friendship on a what if. we prefer to have what we got for the next 20 years then risk losing it over something that might not work. i totally suck at relationships so i know its a safer bet keeping it the way it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think its fine and possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex.

If the new partner can't accept that then they have to get with the times and respect you have a best friend of the opposite sex. And if they can't respect/trust you on that front... then you can't really have a decent relationship with them. In my opinion anyway.

question is how would you feel if you started seeing a woman and she told you she was going out with her friend who happens to be male, would you be comfy with your women going out on the piss with another man?

cause at the end of the day thats how you have to see it

"

I am, and have been, fine with it. Because it was a friendship made before i was even in the picture. And he is in essense an attribute to who she is now.

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