FabSwingers.com forum: £10 million, snails

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can the snail get on aeroplanes and boats ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it a normal tiny snail as they are really slow or some big super speedy snail?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can the snail get on aeroplanes and boats ? "

Yes. But it’s a snail, so presumably it won’t catch the same flight/boat as you as it wouldn’t have caught up yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and move to an island with no ferry services .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it a normal tiny snail as they are really slow or some big super speedy snail?"

Yeah those big ones are really fast.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Is the snail immortal?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is it a normal tiny snail as they are really slow or some big super speedy snail?"

Normal slow snail

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By *haverMan
over a year ago

bracknell

Does the snail have a car

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Aye, I'll just get someone else to lock the snail inside a tupperware dish or something.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is the snail immortal? "

Sort of. It will only die if you die

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where are snails going anyway, they’re home is on their back.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Like you say it can't be killed but I'm assuming that's by me?

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Yes! Retiring to Australia!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Aye, I'll just get someone else to lock the snail inside a tupperware dish or something. "

Clever cookie.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Like you say it can't be killed but I'm assuming that's by me?"

No, it cannot be killed. It will just die when you die

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Aye, I'll just get someone else to lock the snail inside a tupperware dish or something. "

It’ll find a way to get ya

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will this snail have a go faster stripe down the side of its shell ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Will this snail have a go faster stripe down the side of its shell ? "

No, it’s just a normal lil looking snail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did the snail have a television career back in the 70s/80s?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does the snail have a name

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Aye, I'll just get someone else to lock the snail inside a tupperware dish or something.

It’ll find a way to get ya "

The bottom of the tupperware dish is covered in superglue, its going nowhere.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does the snail have a name

You may name the snail

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Did the snail have a television career back in the 70s/80s? "

Unsure

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

What happens when you are asleep

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Aye, I'll just get someone else to lock the snail inside a tupperware dish or something.

It’ll find a way to get ya

The bottom of the tupperware dish is covered in superglue, its going nowhere. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What happens when you are asleep"

It’s still coming for you. It will never, ever stop or rest. It’s sole purpose is to find you, and touch you

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Does the snail have a name

You may name the snail "

Brian of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can the snail wear a helmet and goggles so I can at least have a chuckle when I see it on the horizon first ?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"What happens when you are asleep

It’s still coming for you. It will never, ever stop or rest. It’s sole purpose is to find you, and touch you "
argh I'll be terrified of falling asleep ..I'm out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does the snail have a name

You may name the snail

Brian of course"

I don’t want to name it that

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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago

wolverhampton

No chance, those and slugs freak me out.

I’m happy to be poor and snail friend free

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What if someone else accidentally kills it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you have to pay the money back if it touches you, or does the remainder just go back?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can the snail wear a helmet and goggles so I can at least have a chuckle when I see it on the horizon first ? "

You may request that when you are handed the money. It’ll be a ‘ready, set, go’ and you will have a head start of about 6 hours. The snail will be waiting with whoever gives you the money, so they can meet you, know who you are.

They will have to touch you once before you accept the money, so they can always track you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Do you have to pay the money back if it touches you, or does the remainder just go back? "

No, you just die instantly. The money is yours forever

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What if someone else accidentally kills it

It cannot be killed

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I’m in. I’ll put on some boots and stamp on the snail. Easiest £10m I ever earned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd move to Dubai, snails would hate the desert. Also have a garden oasis around the villa. Full of frogs and toads.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m in. I’ll put on some boots and stamp on the snail. Easiest £10m I ever earned "

It snail cannot be killed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does the snail have a name

You may name the snail

Brian of course"

Definitely Brian!

£10 million buys a lot of salt to keep the bugger away.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd move to Dubai, snails would hate the desert. Also have a garden oasis around the villa. Full of frogs and toads."

The snail cannot be killed, so although he may be unhappy, he will find you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does the snail have a name

You may name the snail

Brian of course

Definitely Brian!

£10 million buys a lot of salt to keep the bugger away. "

It can’t be killed, harmed etc. It’ll pass through the salt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you have to pay the money back if it touches you, or does the remainder just go back?

No, you just die instantly. The money is yours forever "

I'll take the challenge, no way could I leave my family that sort of money, and it's not like I'm going to live forever

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

"I’m in. I’ll put on some boots and stamp on the snail. Easiest £10m I ever earned

It snail cannot be killed "

Ok, I’ll put on rubber gloves and lock it in a safe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m calling my snail Eric

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By *un4meanduMan
over a year ago

STOTFOLD

Go in a veg patch wait for snail and when it starts eating leave potting a salt ring around veg patch snail wont cross

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Go in a veg patch wait for snail and when it starts eating leave potting a salt ring around veg patch snail wont cross "

It will!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m in. I’ll put on some boots and stamp on the snail. Easiest £10m I ever earned

It snail cannot be killed

Ok, I’ll put on rubber gloves and lock it in a safe. "

It’ll find a way out. It’s only purpose is to touch you

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Of course,I'll just pay someone to keep it away from me,but I'm 51 if I die I die.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can salt slow it’s advance in any way?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can salt slow it’s advance in any way? "

Ever so slightly. It would be like if you got a cold. The snail would be a bit annoyed, runny nose, coughing etc. But can still travel and get you

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'll take up the snail challenge in about ten years

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Of course,I'll just pay someone to keep it away from me,but I'm 51 if I die I die."

That’s the spirit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You take the snail.. Me. I’ll be helping the snail, as when it touches you I’ll nick the money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can salt slow it’s advance in any way?

Ever so slightly. It would be like if you got a cold. The snail would be a bit annoyed, runny nose, coughing etc. But can still travel and get you "

Snails always have runny noses anyway!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can salt slow it’s advance in any way?

Ever so slightly. It would be like if you got a cold. The snail would be a bit annoyed, runny nose, coughing etc. But can still travel and get you

Snails always have runny noses anyway!"

Well it’ll be even runnier, for a few days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can salt slow it’s advance in any way?

Ever so slightly. It would be like if you got a cold. The snail would be a bit annoyed, runny nose, coughing etc. But can still travel and get you

Snails always have runny noses anyway!

Well it’ll be even runnier, for a few days"

So cover everything in salt.. You’ll hear the bugger coughing like it’s been on the Woodbines.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

So it won't fizz away to nothing if I move to the middle of some salt flats?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So it won't fizz away to nothing if I move to the middle of some salt flats?"

Nope. It’ll live

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

This snail is obviously a metaphor for the actuality of inevitable death ...so we each already have our own personal death snail... just not the

£10 mill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll spend 1 million on creating the snails ideal mate through cloning and just bring it with me everywhere and the bad snail will just get bored of following me and want to have slimy snail sex with the clone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'll spend 1 million on creating the snails ideal mate through cloning and just bring it with me everywhere and the bad snail will just get bored of following me and want to have slimy snail sex with the clone."

The snails only purpose in life is to find and touch you. Nothing will ever distract it or come in the way of that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This snail is obviously a metaphor for the actuality of inevitable death ...so we each already have our own personal death snail... just not the

£10 mill

Sooooooo do you want the money?

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Yeah I will pay someone to pick it up when it appears and take it very far away every time it emerges. It will be one very well travelled snail by the time it gets me when I’ve spent all the money.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah I will pay someone to pick it up when it appears and take it very far away every time it emerges. It will be one very well travelled snail by the time it gets me when I’ve spent all the money. "

Good plan

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"This snail is obviously a metaphor for the actuality of inevitable death ...so we each already have our own personal death snail... just not the

£10 mill

Sooooooo do you want the money?"
of course

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

This sounds very much like that film "It Follows" where the demon curse is passed on like an STI, scary film that!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This sounds very much like that film "It Follows" where the demon curse is passed on like an STI, scary film that!

When I asked my friend last night he said the same thing

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I quite like snails. It can come and live on my shoulder and I’ll keep it with me and I’ll take the money

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I quite like snails. It can come and live on my shoulder and I’ll keep it with me and I’ll take the money

If it touches you at all, you’ll die

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can we lock it up in a box that it can't escape? Pay someone to put it in.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"I quite like snails. It can come and live on my shoulder and I’ll keep it with me and I’ll take the money

If it touches you at all, you’ll die "

Awww not Babs! That's cruel.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can we lock it up in a box that it can't escape? Pay someone to put it in. "

It’ll find a way to escape

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

How much would it cost to fund the first snail in space?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How much would it cost to fund the first snail in space? "

Unsure!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not if it's airtight and covered in concrete

have a specialist team to look after it and maybe launch it into space so it never comes back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course, I’d move to Australia

It’d take said snail almost 83 years to get there, presuming it can swim. I’d be long dead

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"I quite like snails. It can come and live on my shoulder and I’ll keep it with me and I’ll take the money

If it touches you at all, you’ll die

Awww not Babs! That's cruel."

And I was being kind and thoughtful for the poor snail

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not if it's airtight and covered in concrete

have a specialist team to look after it and maybe launch it into space so it never comes back."

It’ll find a way to come back

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

Yeah I'm taking it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah I'm taking it"

Good lad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a Google search on average speeds of snails, I found it would take an hour for a snail to travel 330 inches (8 metres ish in metric) so that's roughly about 0.1 of a mile which is 36.5 a year. I think you would easily out run it if you were on the move all the while.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry its 0.125 mile a day which is 45.5 a year.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

Get someone to attach a gps tracker to it, then catch a flight to Australia and live it up for years whilst keeping an eye on how close it was getting, then if it ever got close just catch another flight back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a friend to put a jar over the snail

Sorted

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Get a friend to put a jar over the snail

Sorted"

It’ll find a way out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can the snail get on aeroplanes and boats ? "
more importantly, does the little shit have a passport?

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

This has given me the heebie jeebies! I hate snails!

Argh!

Stick your ten million up your flue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah I'm taking it"
I've seen your missus pic with the strap-on, so that's not exactly newsworthy

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By *un4meanduMan
over a year ago

STOTFOLD

Just move on to a new luxury resort every week or so and have a fit gps tracker to snail to warn when getting near

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this a true story?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is this a true story?

Of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take the money, if you cannot escape a snail you probably don't deserve the money.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

What happens if I bash it with a spade

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is both hilarious and creepy. I love the portentous statement of "it will find a way". It reminds me of "the cat came back".

There are an awful lot of devious and nefarious fates that could befall that snail for a portion of the £10 million. It would probably amuse me concocting various, ever increasingly elaborate, fates for it to eventually survive.

I see myself standing over a laser/buzz saw jet train contraption laughing maniacally...

Tea

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What happens if I bash it with a spade"

It won’t die or be harmed

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

Give me the money and a large round goldfish bowl with slippery sides.

Drop the snail in using tongs, I didn't touch it.

Drop a fresh lettuce in every so often.

Now where can i buy a Ferrari

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"What happens if I bash it with a spade

It won’t die or be harmed "

Hmmm tough cookie eh...tempt it with its favourite plants (poisoned of course)

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I’ll take the money.....

I’ve had a stalker so a snail won’t be an issue lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So where it gets really interesting is when you see how money corrupts. You will start to not trust people, especially those closest to you who will benefit from the money once you die. The paranoia of thinking someone has secrely arranged for the snail to be delivered to your side whilst you sleep.

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By *hesterXXXMan
over a year ago

in your dreams

"Like you say it can't be killed but I'm assuming that's by me?

No, it cannot be killed. It will just die when you die"

What's the life expectancy of a snail?

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

What if you lure it into a pit which is subsequently filled with concrete?

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"So where it gets really interesting is when you see how money corrupts. You will start to not trust people, especially those closest to you who will benefit from the money once you die. The paranoia of thinking someone has secrely arranged for the snail to be delivered to your side whilst you sleep. "
imagine it popping out of your salad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst your butler smiles that enigmatic smile because you once bollocked him and docked him a month's wages for dropping some food in your lap ... what is that saying - revenge is best served cold ...

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

"This has given me the heebie jeebies! I hate snails!

Argh!

Stick your ten million up your flue

Your wellies will protect you from said snail

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Well done OP, I like this question, it made me get the graph paper out, a stop watch, lettuce and a willing volunteer (well the lettuce helped).

After an hour I have come to the conclusion that a snail moves on average 20-25 metres in a 24hr period (allowing for tea breaks).

As I am 44 years and estimate maybe another 30 years of life. I would say yes, I will take the money and move 274km away from the starting point.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Well done OP, I like this question, it made me get the graph paper out, a stop watch, lettuce and a willing volunteer (well the lettuce helped).

After an hour I have come to the conclusion that a snail moves on average 20-25 metres in a 24hr period (allowing for tea breaks).

As I am 44 years and estimate maybe another 30 years of life. I would say yes, I will take the money and move 274km away from the starting point. "

I'll do what your doing then...I'll take my cash now please

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Well done OP, I like this question, it made me get the graph paper out, a stop watch, lettuce and a willing volunteer (well the lettuce helped).

After an hour I have come to the conclusion that a snail moves on average 20-25 metres in a 24hr period (allowing for tea breaks).

As I am 44 years and estimate maybe another 30 years of life. I would say yes, I will take the money and move 274km away from the starting point. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give me the money please. I'll spent the first tenner on a metal box which I will turn upside down and set over the top of the snail. Presumably he can't lift boxes right?

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?"

What's the catch , I'm a sailor, and presumably I can know the whereabouts of the snail at all times

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Give me the money please. I'll spent the first tenner on a metal box which I will turn upside down and set over the top of the snail. Presumably he can't lift boxes right? "

It will find a way out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?

What's the catch , I'm a sailor, and presumably I can know the whereabouts of the snail at all times "

What has being a sailor got to do with you knowing where the snail is?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?

What's the catch , I'm a sailor, and presumably I can know the whereabouts of the snail at all times

What has being a sailor got to do with you knowing where the snail is?

He meant to say he's a Snailor

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?

What's the catch , I'm a sailor, and presumably I can know the whereabouts of the snail at all times

What has being a sailor got to do with you knowing where the snail is?

Nothing ?

Point was sailing for a while would be and an advantage for keeping ahead , and was confirming that I would of course be able to fathom exactly where snail is to ensure I'm always 670 miles away which is 2 weeks at 2mph

This is such an easy money challenge

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I wouldn’t take the money.

I would start my new business running a firm of snail catchers who are paid to track the snail of each person that did take the money and correctively move the snail when it comes within a specific range of its human. It will be a premium charged service, and I’ll make my money that way.

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I would start a business of snail facilitators and help the snail reach their target and then remove the money once the snail had done its thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn’t take the money.

Capitalism at its finest. Just make sure you pay your bill at all times hey.

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I'm allergic to shell fish. Do you think this applies to snails too?

Just wondering...

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I wouldn’t take the money.

Capitalism at its finest. Just make sure you pay your bill at all times hey."

I might throw your snail at you.

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By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Take the doe I'm 40 now and never had a snail come near me so IL take my chances

Lol watch IL go put me shoes on now and there will be one sitting on top just to say got ya bitch lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn’t take the money.

Capitalism at its finest. Just make sure you pay your bill at all times hey.

I might throw your snail at you.

But I would not have a snail as I have taken your business idea and undercut you by 20%

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?"
No.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"I wouldn’t take the money.

Capitalism at its finest. Just make sure you pay your bill at all times hey.

I might throw your snail at you.

But I would not have a snail as I have taken your business idea and undercut you by 20%

Oh dear, you didn’t see the patent for the method of the business idea and now you’re bankrupt.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I wouldn’t take the money.

Hmmmm but what if the snails can turn on you...you dont want a escargatoire of snails after you ass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn’t take the money.

Capitalism at its finest. Just make sure you pay your bill at all times hey.

I might throw your snail at you.

But I would not have a snail as I have taken your business idea and undercut you by 20%

Oh dear, you didn’t see the patent for the method of the business idea and now you’re bankrupt. "

But I have the backing of wealthy city investment funds who are going to tie this case up in court for years. We would eventually broker a deal between us.

The poor person who took the £10M now has a whole bunch of snail catchers and snail facilitators competing for their attention with potentially deadly consequences!

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By *ackk25Man
over a year ago

Kilkenny

I'd take the money... But the snail must be able to talk, it would just be weird being followed around by a snail and no chit chat

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?"
What's the snails name

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would take the money and offer the snail one million pounds to leave me alone and if that didn't work I would befriend them and they would fall in love with my perfect personality and would be my little pet snail who wouldn't even dream of hurting me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would take the money and offer the snail one million pounds to leave me alone and if that didn't work I would befriend them and they would fall in love with my perfect personality and would be my little pet snail who wouldn't even dream of hurting me.

Unfortunately it’s only goal in life is to touch you. Nothing can sway it. If it fell in love with you, it would still touch you and kill you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll take the money and forever trap the snail in a ring of copper strip. Apparently they can't cross over it because or the small shocks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'll take the money and forever trap the snail in a ring of copper strip. Apparently they can't cross over it because or the small shocks."

It’ll find a way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll take the money and forever trap the snail in a ring of copper strip. Apparently they can't cross over it because or the small shocks.

It’ll find a way "

Well it can't fly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'll take the money and forever trap the snail in a ring of copper strip. Apparently they can't cross over it because or the small shocks.

It’ll find a way

Well it can't fly."

Who says it can’t?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The snail represents death, and death stalks us all. I'd take the money and enjoy the chase and when I'm ready, I'd go to meet the snail and be done.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The snail represents death, and death stalks us all. I'd take the money and enjoy the chase and when I'm ready, I'd go to meet the snail and be done."

Greet death like an old friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll have the £10 mill. I could afford a Bugatti Veyron, so the chances of it ever catching me are slim

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The snail represents death, and death stalks us all. I'd take the money and enjoy the chase and when I'm ready, I'd go to meet the snail and be done.

Greet death like an old friend "

And be out when he pops round.

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Aye, I'll just get someone else to lock the snail inside a tupperware dish or something. "

Boom! Winner

Tupperware will be around long after everything else has crumbled to dust

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By *Marvel-Man
over a year ago

In The Gym

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?"

I'm taking the money.

Firstly I could tell the authorities about it hoping they'd capture the snail and keep it for study considering its immortal. However, I'd sound like a nutter and doubt I'd be taken seriously.

Secondly if it's just a normal snail. I'd wait for it to catch up with me. Have someone else put the snail in a non corrosive metal container lined with plastic. Pour concrete on the snail. Weld the lid on the container. Place the container in a maximum security location.

The snail can then live it's immortal life in solitary confinement unable to ever move again.

Finally I'd enjoy living me life as a multimillionaire.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What happens when you are asleep

It’s still coming for you. It will never, ever stop or rest. It’s sole purpose is to find you, and touch you "
. I nap a lot so I’m at a disadvantage from the start.

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By *rSuave88Man
over a year ago

Mirfield

I will just live in a bubble suit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I presume it’s not planning ahead and just waiting for me to go to bed?

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By *019ReadyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I now need therapy for developing a snail phobia. That'll teach me for being nosey!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never thought i'd see a question from a rooster teeth game asked on fab

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

Thinking about this even more (it’s Saturday, I’m single, what else is there to do?)

This conundrum gives you the ability to set the time and place of your death (once the appropriate safe distance has been achieved).

So you can sort out your naughty draw, say your goodbyes, run up some debts (after spending £10M on fast women and slow cars) and embrace the snail.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Given my family history of dying young I would take the money and risk the snail

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Thinking about this even more (it’s Saturday, I’m single, what else is there to do?)

This conundrum gives you the ability to set the time and place of your death (once the appropriate safe distance has been achieved).

So you can sort out your naughty draw, say your goodbyes, run up some debts (after spending £10M on fast women and slow cars) and embrace the snail. "

The positive spin..I like it

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Feed it on some cannabis, that would slow the bastard down even more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Aye, I'll just get someone else to lock the snail inside a tupperware dish or something.

It’ll find a way to get ya

The bottom of the tupperware dish is covered in superglue, its going nowhere. "

you've thought this through!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bet this snail moves faster than some of the lazy fuckers I work with

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

It follows.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?

I'm taking the money.

Firstly I could tell the authorities about it hoping they'd capture the snail and keep it for study considering its immortal. However, I'd sound like a nutter and doubt I'd be taken seriously.

The snail can then live it's immortal life in solitary confinement unable to ever move again.

Finally I'd enjoy living me life as a multimillionaire."

But I would free the snail and demand £1M from you to keep it away. Now you have money the snail has becone worth money and it is no longer just you versus the snail. It is now you versus every money grabbing person who can see an opportunity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/06/19 14:04:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The snail can join our other 2 pet snails. I'd feed it only the best, take it for walks, it would lead a grand life! Why would it want too kill me? We'd love the best life on that sort of cash x

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?"

Someone watches rooster teeth

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By *Marvel-Man
over a year ago

In The Gym

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?

I'm taking the money.

Firstly I could tell the authorities about it hoping they'd capture the snail and keep it for study considering its immortal. However, I'd sound like a nutter and doubt I'd be taken seriously.

The snail can then live it's immortal life in solitary confinement unable to ever move again.

Finally I'd enjoy living me life as a multimillionaire.

You'll never find the snail.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Find it a little Lady Snail that might distract it

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By *Marvel-Man
over a year ago

In The Gym

"Find it a little Lady Snail that might distract it

Some snails can reproduce asexually. Might be one of these.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?"

Yes. I take the money.

Assuming the snail has ordinary snaily type attributes.....

Yes I take the money. The snail would never be able to touch me.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Find it a little Lady Snail that might distract it

Some snails can reproduce asexually. Might be one of these. "

Ah, good point.

I have a Bouncer Snail, he will say, " Sorry Son, you're not coming in here with a Shell Suit"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get a friend to load the snail in a very tightly sealed safe.

Put a random combination on the safe that nobody remembers.

Profit

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?

Someone watches rooster teeth "

What’s that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get a friend to load the snail in a very tightly sealed safe.

Put a random combination on the safe that nobody remembers.

Profit

The trouble is the snail cannot be killed so whatever you put it in somebody can get it out if they want to. In your example enough TNT would blow the safe to bits leaving one free snail.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?

I'm taking the money.

Firstly I could tell the authorities about it hoping they'd capture the snail and keep it for study considering its immortal. However, I'd sound like a nutter and doubt I'd be taken seriously.

The snail can then live it's immortal life in solitary confinement unable to ever move again.

Finally I'd enjoy living me life as a multimillionaire.

You'll never find the snail. "

Somebody will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, then move to a salt pan live in peace and money grabbing quiet

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By *Marvel-Man
over a year ago

In The Gym

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?

I'm taking the money.

Firstly I could tell the authorities about it hoping they'd capture the snail and keep it for study considering its immortal. However, I'd sound like a nutter and doubt I'd be taken seriously.

The snail can then live it's immortal life in solitary confinement unable to ever move again.

Finally I'd enjoy living me life as a multimillionaire.

You'll never find the snail.

Somebody will. "

No. They wouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

PEOPLE THE SNAIL WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU

YOU MAY TEMPORARILY HALTER IT, BUT IT WILL FIND YOU.

IT CANNOT BE KILLED. ITS ONLY GOAL IN LIFE IS TO FIND AND TOUCH YOU. IT CANNOT BE BRIBED OR STOPPED.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"£10 million, cash in hand, right now. But there’s a catch;

- A snail is chasing you, and will be for the rest of your life. If it touches you, you die instantly.

- The snail cannot be killed.

- It knows your location at all times.

- It’s only purpose is to find you.

Are you taking the money?

I'm taking the money.

Firstly I could tell the authorities about it hoping they'd capture the snail and keep it for study considering its immortal. However, I'd sound like a nutter and doubt I'd be taken seriously.

The snail can then live it's immortal life in solitary confinement unable to ever move again.

Finally I'd enjoy living me life as a multimillionaire.

You'll never find the snail.

Somebody will.

No. They wouldn't. "

Why not ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, I'm in. I like a challenge!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yep, I'm in. I like a challenge!"

Yay

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Yep, I'm in. I like a challenge!

Yay"

So My Bouncer with a Shell Suit was not good enough

Maybe set up little Ski Ramps in his path to watch in hilarity when he tries to abseil them with the piece of cotton that you've given him

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"PEOPLE THE SNAIL WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU

YOU MAY TEMPORARILY HALTER IT, BUT IT WILL FIND YOU.

IT CANNOT BE KILLED. ITS ONLY GOAL IN LIFE IS TO FIND AND TOUCH YOU. IT CANNOT BE BRIBED OR STOPPED. "

Does it have a speed?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"PEOPLE THE SNAIL WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU

YOU MAY TEMPORARILY HALTER IT, BUT IT WILL FIND YOU.

IT CANNOT BE KILLED. ITS ONLY GOAL IN LIFE IS TO FIND AND TOUCH YOU. IT CANNOT BE BRIBED OR STOPPED.

Does it have a speed?"

It has the speed of a normal snail

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

It’s here, the snail has arrived! Be warned poeple, be war......

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"It’s here, the snail has arrived! Be warned poeple, be war......"

I would borrow your Mole and get him to hibernate for a few months after he had feasted on said Snail

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