FabSwingers.com forum: How can women attract the good men but put off the bad ones?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How can women attract the good men but put off the bad ones?

Different pics and profile text attract different types of men. What is the best combination that will only attract decent men? Assuming they exist.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I need your definition of 'decent'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They can’t. Next.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They just have to sift through the chaff to get the wheat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How can women attract the good men but put off the bad ones?

Different pics and profile text attract different types of men. What is the best combination that will only attract decent men? Assuming they exist. "

Ask them for a phone number and insist on speaking on the phone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No matter what you do you will be contacted by arseholes , part of fab I’m afraid

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I need your definition of 'decent'

Whatever your definition of decent would be- everyone's definition will be different.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Put a line in their profile saying "good men only please" that'll do it.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Bookmarking!!! We all want to know the answer to that one...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Possibly, in the context of Fab, some pics only showing a little flesh and nothing erotic, and some profile text stating that you only want to hear from decent guys who are willing to get to know you first before any mention of meeting up. A social, or even 2, should give you a chance then to make your mind up about the guy. Whatever you say or do, you'll more than likely still hear from a few melters who won't bother reading a thing you've written and have a fettish for that tiny bit of thigh you've shown in one of your pictures.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It doesn't work like that. There's no magic formula. You can lessen the twats but you can't erase them from existence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's like say I only want orange coloured flies being drawn to the shit. All flies love shit.

--------------------

(Disclaimer women are NOT like shit so analogy stops there. Well some are but that's another debate and I seem to draw some of them too

)

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

They can't, it is no different to us as a couple we still get messaged by couples where it is clearly a guy looking for wanking material. All you can do is trust in your instincts and shit down any guys quickly who are not to your liking.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I need your definition of 'decent'

Whatever your definition of decent would be- everyone's definition will be different. "

Hmmmmmmm okay.

Contact from decent men only please.

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

Sits here quietly and waits for the answer...

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"They just have to sift through the chaff to get the wheat. "

This.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How can women attract the good men but put off the bad ones?

Different pics and profile text attract different types of men. What is the best combination that will only attract decent men? Assuming they exist. "

Ask them if they have cats. Nobody who has more than one cat can be a bad person. If they say they "own" a cat, don't believe them. Nobody owns a cat, they choose who they live with.

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"How can women attract the good men but put off the bad ones?

Different pics and profile text attract different types of men. What is the best combination that will only attract decent men? Assuming they exist. "

Having high respect for yourself and expecting that your partner absolutely feels the same way.

It's the best benchmark.

Little things are important, someone who uses demeaning or degrading language that you have not requested them to, they have no interest in your needs they're only concerned with theirs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By blocking all men and sifting through the profiles herself. Looking for what she wants. Then order with intimate questions till they crack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"By blocking all men and sifting through the profiles herself. Looking for what she wants. Then order with intimate questions till they crack

*follow with. Not order

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How can women attract the good men but put off the bad ones?

Different pics and profile text attract different types of men. What is the best combination that will only attract decent men? Assuming they exist.

Ask them if they have cats. Nobody who has more than one cat can be a bad person. If they say they "own" a cat, don't believe them. Nobody owns a cat, they choose who they live with."

Bond villans and witches have cats.

Ps block bond villans.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How can women attract the good men but put off the bad ones?

Different pics and profile text attract different types of men. What is the best combination that will only attract decent men? Assuming they exist.

Ask them if they have cats. Nobody who has more than one cat can be a bad person. If they say they "own" a cat, don't believe them. Nobody owns a cat, they choose who they live with.

Bond villans and witches have cats.

Ps block bond villans."

Blofeld only had the one white fluffy cat and there's not enough room on today's modern broomsticks for more than one familiar. I'm sticking with my multi-cat theory

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

I saw a woman asking the "where are all the decent men?????" the other day.

A bloke replied "they're in the friendzone where you left them while you went off fucking dickheads".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I saw a woman asking the "where are all the decent men?????" the other day.

A bloke replied "they're in the friendzone where you left them while you went off fucking dickheads"."

Haha, fucking brilliant.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I saw a woman asking the "where are all the decent men?????" the other day.

A bloke replied "they're in the friendzone where you left them while you went off fucking dickheads".

Haha, fucking brilliant. "

Must admit I chortled......

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

There are loads of lovely men around. On a site where you are attempting to attract people, some are going to be what you consider to be decent and some aren’t because that’s life. You can’t have too much of a good thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tent to look for profiles that don't over explain, don't over show themselves but are articulate and leave to the imagination and intrigue. If you look like hard work you'll loose a lot of wasters.

But you'll always get chancers and wasters no mater what you do simply because they are and it's no reflection on you.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I don't think that's possible is it,unfortunately you have to take the good with the bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All part of the fun and makes it a joy when you do come across one you can exchange more than a couple of messages with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think that's possible is it,unfortunately you have to take the good with the bad."

Or make the good take the bad...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just read an article there by a guy called Mark Regnerus about marriage being on the decline in America because of men’s cheap access to sex which I think relates. He says,

“Many women today expect little in return for sex, in terms of time, attention, commitment or fidelity. Men, in turn, do not feel compelled to supply these goods as they once did. It is the new sexual norm for Americans.

Women are hoping to find good men without supporting the sexual norms that would actually make men better.”

I think this guy's a bit of a dick because he sounds like he's pointing the finger. On the other hand, and it's 2 sided, I can see his point. We all want fun without attachment and that attracts a variety of types because of the high interest in what might seem like easy free sex to the average outsider.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's possible when you're on a swinging website with thousands of members. I would say it's up to you to sift through the messages and find someone that you think is decent enough.

I think there is a lot of decent men on here. It's just a shame that only a few have landed in my inbox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think this is a problem peculiar to Fab

I think when we see something we like, we look at the bigger picture, not the detail

The beauty might be in the bigger picture, but the art and soul is in the detail

---

Likewise, when we are browsing online, we have to see a lot of things we don't like to spot the ones we do

When you visit certain links or sites, they invariably pop up when you don't particularly want them to

It's a bit of a nuisance, but in the grand scheme of things, it is little more

---

I think where Fab differs is that some users treat others as a commodity and that behaviour isn't particular to any gender or relationship status

By viewing others as a commodity, we lose touch of the fact that there is a person behind those words and pictures

The greatest pleasure for me is to meet the people behind the words and pictures and interact with them

Only by doing so and looking at the finer detail can we make a choice on whether the bigger picture is all it seems

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just read an article there by a guy called Mark Regnerus about marriage being on the decline in America because of men’s cheap access to sex which I think relates. He says,

Women are hoping to find good men without supporting the sexual norms that would actually make men better.”

I think it runs a fair bit deeper.

With the detachment from religion( atheist here) that used to instill these " right way to be morals" of monogamy. Evlution is grrrrrreat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it's possible when you're on a swinging website with thousands of members. I would say it's up to you to sift through the messages and find someone that you think is decent enough.

I think there is a lot of decent men on here. It's just a shame that only a few have landed in my inbox

Sifting can be a full time job, eh?

If I were a gal I'd be searching myself through profiles and wink away. Men respond to winks as they get less. And then judge on the messages on those I wink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All part of the fun and makes it a joy when you do come across one you can exchange more than a couple of messages with

This and it's not about how they can shove it up you and leave you legless inside 35.8 seconds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think it's possible when you're on a swinging website with thousands of members. I would say it's up to you to sift through the messages and find someone that you think is decent enough.

I think there is a lot of decent men on here. It's just a shame that only a few have landed in my inbox

Sifting can be a full time job, eh?

If I were a gal I'd be searching myself through profiles and wink away. Men respond to winks as they get less. And then judge on the messages on those I wink. "

I say to OP filters on and you message.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"They can’t. Next."

This.

Embrace being a bitch, reduce your gag reflex from horrible messages, delete delete delete.

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

"I saw a woman asking the "where are all the decent men?????" the other day.

A bloke replied "they're in the friendzone where you left them while you went off fucking dickheads"."

It's bloody crowded in the friendzone and yet there still seems to be a ready supply of dickheads

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The friendzone is a myth perpetuated by men who think that they're owed sex by being vaguely decent. Even on Fab, that's not how it works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The friendzone is a myth perpetuated by men who think that they're owed sex by being vaguely decent. Even on Fab, that's not how it works. "

I know I shouldn't, but (

)

I sense backs going up across the land

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Only choose the ones that begin with sir

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"The friendzone is a myth perpetuated by men who think that they're owed sex by being vaguely decent. Even on Fab, that's not how it works.

I know I shouldn't, but (

)

I sense backs going up across the land"

I know you know I don't give a damn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The friendzone is a myth perpetuated by men who think that they're owed sex by being vaguely decent. Even on Fab, that's not how it works. "

Another myth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How can i attract a man full stop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How can i attract a man full stop

Bonios.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't wait for people to find me attractive and I do most of the approaching myself. I don't show up on searches because I haven't ticked any 'looking for' boxes so I'm not inundated with messages. When I am looking I use the forums mostly, contacting people who's forum persona catches my attention.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Put a line in their profile saying "good men only please" that'll do it.

It's not working.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Possibly, in the context of Fab, some pics only showing a little flesh and nothing erotic, and some profile text stating that you only want to hear from decent guys who are willing to get to know you first before any mention of meeting up. A social, or even 2, should give you a chance then to make your mind up about the guy. Whatever you say or do, you'll more than likely still hear from a few melters who won't bother reading a thing you've written and have a fettish for that tiny bit of thigh you've shown in one of your pictures. "

Melters.

I like your thinking.

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

"How can i attract a man full stop

Bonios. "

I used to eat bonios when teething apparently

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"How can women attract the good men but put off the bad ones?

Different pics and profile text attract different types of men. What is the best combination that will only attract decent men? Assuming they exist.

Ask them if they have cats. Nobody who has more than one cat can be a bad person. If they say they "own" a cat, don't believe them. Nobody owns a cat, they choose who they live with."

I love this! It's very true.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I saw a woman asking the "where are all the decent men?????" the other day.

A bloke replied "they're in the friendzone where you left them while you went off fucking dickheads"."

Awesome!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

You have to chat to them for months about really banal stuff. If they stick around and don’t mention a raging erection at every opportunity then it looks promising!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simple answer is block all men and seek out the ones that are verified, message them yourself and as previously mentioned insist on a phone call, or even a couple at different times of the day.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There are loads of lovely men around. On a site where you are attempting to attract people, some are going to be what you consider to be decent and some aren’t because that’s life. You can’t have too much of a good thing

Brilliant. Deep and true.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"I saw a woman asking the "where are all the decent men?????" the other day.

A bloke replied "they're in the friendzone where you left them while you went off fucking dickheads".

Awesome!

Haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just read an article there by a guy called Mark Regnerus about marriage being on the decline in America because of men’s cheap access to sex which I think relates. He says,

Women are hoping to find good men without supporting the sexual norms that would actually make men better.”

That's thought provoking. I sometimes say on threads where people are fed up of their partner not wanting sex, "get rid. What's the point of having a relationship if they won't fuck?"

Very rarely people come back with solid reasons why they want to stay together. They just get mad at what I said.

People seem disposable if they won't deliver the fucks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't think this is a problem peculiar to Fab

I think when we see something we like, we look at the bigger picture, not the detail

The beauty might be in the bigger picture, but the art and soul is in the detail

---

Likewise, when we are browsing online, we have to see a lot of things we don't like to spot the ones we do

When you visit certain links or sites, they invariably pop up when you don't particularly want them to

It's a bit of a nuisance, but in the grand scheme of things, it is little more

---

I think where Fab differs is that some users treat others as a commodity and that behaviour isn't particular to any gender or relationship status

By viewing others as a commodity, we lose touch of the fact that there is a person behind those words and pictures

The greatest pleasure for me is to meet the people behind the words and pictures and interact with them

Only by doing so and looking at the finer detail can we make a choice on whether the bigger picture is all it seems"

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I’ve given up on ever finding someone decent as much as I would like to meet someone and have a kid I’m not going to go without my sanity.

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Tarka trail

I was having my first meeting yesterday friday 24-05-19 I drove all the way there. And she never showed. Today Saturday 3.30 she messages me on fab accusing me of not responding to her text messages. and wasting her time.

I checked all the messages on fab that was sent. And I noticed, that she has not even read the message that contained my phone number. A guy prob pretending to be a woman.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Decent men are around, we do exist!

If you find the solution to that dilemma and sell it, you'll make a fortune in no time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How can women attract the good men but put off the bad ones?

Different pics and profile text attract different types of men. What is the best combination that will only attract decent men? Assuming they exist.

Ask them if they have cats. Nobody who has more than one cat can be a bad person. If they say they "own" a cat, don't believe them. Nobody owns a cat, they choose who they live with."

This!

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"The friendzone is a myth perpetuated by men who think that they're owed sex by being vaguely decent. Even on Fab, that's not how it works. "

Thank God I'm not one of those men.

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