FabSwingers.com forum: How's your self esteem?

By *lem-H-Fandango OP Man
over a year ago

salisbury

Do you find fab helps it, or hinders it? Do you feel if you get less attention that's it's somehow lowered? Do you find yourself starting threads to bring attention to yourself when you're feeling fragile or forgotten? How important is it to you that people know your name, do you wish to become a forum celebrity or elite clique member? Do you feel that you deserve to sit on the iron throne of fab?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you need a hug Clem?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Awww Clem, you're not forgotten about! Hugs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you find fab helps it, or hinders it? Do you feel if you get less attention that's it's somehow lowered? Do you find yourself starting threads to bring attention to yourself when you're feeling fragile or forgotten? How important is it to you that people know your name, do you wish to become a forum celebrity or elite clique member? Do you feel that you deserve to sit on the iron throne of fab?! "

Fab doesn’t affect my self esteem at all, I’m not daft enough to think that all these compliments I receive are genuine. I know I’m a solid 10/10, so I don’t need to worry.

I like attention, purely because I deserve it.

Clinique? No thanks.

And no - I’m better than the iron throne

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, no, no, and yes

Hope that helps

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Are you asking " for a friend" ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was on here and messaging people and getting a lot of knock backs, it did lower my self-esteem

But since I stopped messaging and just use the forums, I find fab a lot easier to get on with.

Without sounding too big headed, it allows people who might be interested in me to find me, being me, rather then in the middle of 100s of messages

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

It's not about any of that for me. Its a tool for fun. Makes me laugh, sometimes gives me food for thought. You can't please all the people all the time so I click with someone it's a bonus.

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By *aiseaneyebrowMan
over a year ago

Fylde

Fab is weird.

Sometimes I get a few messages that make me feel fantastic. Other times less so.

This is more to do with my general mood than FAB.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you need a hug Clem? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually King dash doesn't have a ring to it

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"When I was on here and messaging people and getting a lot of knock backs, it did lower my self-esteem

But since I stopped messaging and just use the forums, I find fab a lot easier to get on with.

Without sounding too big headed, it allows people who might be interested in me to find me, being me, rather then in the middle of 100s of messages"
That is actually a sound statement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fab is weird.

Sometimes I get a few messages that make me feel fantastic. Other times less so.

This is more to do with my general mood than FAB. "

messages? What are these 'messages' you speak of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok haven’t been on Fab for long but I’m loving the forums. Spending waaaaaay too much time here but hoping that’s just a phase. Self esteem or self confidence? Mine are very high so I’m not looking for validation or acceptance of my ideas. Love it if someone challenges them in fact. However I think if you’re feeling down, depressed, lonely, sad or life’s just kicked you in the face- Fab could be devastating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab never effects my selfesteem. Its fab cant read too much into things too much. Some days are better than others it's just how it is.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My self esteem is fine. I dont need people to know my name but being here a long time people do notice you especially if your active. Ive no need to be in any clique im my own person i dont need people crawling up my arse in the forum

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I came here in an attempt to boost my self esteem, but in reality it has had the opposite effect. I expect nothing from anybody so I'm content to just go with the flow and see what happens.

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By *lem-H-Fandango OP Man
over a year ago

salisbury

"Do you need a hug Clem? "

Clem always needs a hug!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know if my stock is falling and I’ve been ignored for 10 minutes, I have to start a thread, the quality of the thread doesn’t matter, any bollocks will do, I’m literally looking around for a thread idea. But when I start the thread I feel seedy and used, but still I continue starting threads. Get help!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was on here and messaging people and getting a lot of knock backs, it did lower my self-esteem

But since I stopped messaging and just use the forums, I find fab a lot easier to get on with.

Without sounding too big headed, it allows people who might be interested in me to find me, being me, rather then in the middle of 100s of messages That is actually a sound statement

I am serious sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know if my stock is falling and I’ve been ignored for 10 minutes, I have to start a thread, the quality of the thread doesn’t matter, any bollocks will do, I’m literally looking around for a thread idea. But when I start the thread I feel seedy and used, but still I continue starting threads. Get help! "

You start a bollox thread? No way, are you pull in disguise

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"When I was on here and messaging people and getting a lot of knock backs, it did lower my self-esteem

But since I stopped messaging and just use the forums, I find fab a lot easier to get on with.

Without sounding too big headed, it allows people who might be interested in me to find me, being me, rather then in the middle of 100s of messages That is actually a sound statement

I am serious sometimes

"
Me too , ok maybe not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've run out of pedestals anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You start a bollox thread? No way, are you pull in disguise "

If I was, I wouldn’t be asking for my lawnmower back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I was on here and messaging people and getting a lot of knock backs, it did lower my self-esteem

But since I stopped messaging and just use the forums, I find fab a lot easier to get on with.

Without sounding too big headed, it allows people who might be interested in me to find me, being me, rather then in the middle of 100s of messages That is actually a sound statement

I am serious sometimes

A wise bearded Frenchman told me to never message first. Wait and they will come he said. It’s shit advice they never did, so I send out faf messages in bulk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You start a bollox thread? No way, are you pull in disguise

If I was, I wouldn’t be asking for my lawnmower back "

Has he really got your lawnmower? He hasn't even got a garden

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"We've run out of pedestals anyway"

I've got a step stool you can borrow if that's any good?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've run out of pedestals anyway

I've got a step stool you can borrow if that's any good? "

Naaaaaa I've got an iron throne

Sorry iv got to go, I'm getting my hand slapped in another thread byeee

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

I did find that it was knocking my self esteem a little as the constant 'delete, unread' etc was making me wonder if I was utterly repulsive to people anyway just that in the "real world" they were being polite because they had to. I'm mostly over it now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first joined fan, I was a confident young man. I sent out over 8000 messages and got 2 replies, one of those was asking the best way to get the shell of a boiled egg. Fast forward to a year later my confidence is at an all time low, I don’t know my worth anymore, but on the plus side I’m an expert in boiled egg related advice.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Suitably intact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I first joined fan, I was a confident young man. I sent out over 8000 messages and got 2 replies, one of those was asking the best way to get the shell of a boiled egg. Fast forward to a year later my confidence is at an all time low, I don’t know my worth anymore, but on the plus side I’m an expert in boiled egg related advice. "

How long does it take to boil a goose egg?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How long does it take to boil a goose egg? "

8 minutes, if it’s free range 24. Gander eggs you need to soak over night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How long does it take to boil a goose egg?

8 minutes, if it’s free range 24. Gander eggs you need to soak over night."

Ooooooh Well googled, I had to Google when I fist had one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How long does it take to boil a goose egg?

8 minutes, if it’s free range 24. Gander eggs you need to soak over night.

Ooooooh Well googled, I had to Google when I fist had one"

A google is the plural of goose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is just a place of fun for me and never take anything here too seriously, so no it has no affect OP. If it stops being so I'll be off.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"I did find that it was knocking my self esteem a little as the constant 'delete, unread' etc was making me wonder if I was utterly repulsive to people anyway just that in the "real world" they were being polite because they had to. I'm mostly over it now. "

It's frankly a numbers game

We get around ten messages a day on average from men. Thats 3650 a year. We probably only meet ten new men a year and probably chat to five guys to every one we meet. So that works out at us rejecting over 98% of the guys who message us!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

My self esteem is fine, thank you for asking. I have noticed a lot of "tell me I'm lovely" threads lately though. It must be something on the water.

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

My self esteem is affected by what happens in my life not what happens on fab, but when I take a knock in my life it reflects onto fab

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By *asteregg01Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Fab is weird.

Sometimes I get a few messages that make me feel fantastic. Other times less so.

This is more to do with my general mood than FAB. "

I made the error of clicking on your profile, and got distracted by your thighs

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Fab can lift you up, it can kick you when you're down - it's how you deal with it that is key.

My self-esteem is fine, I know I'm not for everyone and nor is everyone for me, I just bobble along doing my thing, contributing when I see fit - if people like me for that then great, if not then no skin off my nose - I'm very much a take me or leave me kind of person.

I have no aspirations to "celebrity" or popularity either - I am me plain and simple.

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

I not the most confident person and lack self esteem.I have started about 6 threads in the 18 months I have been on Fabs normally just for advice for my self.When I contributed something on Fabs it’s normally because I feel I have something worthwhile to say.If I get a reply and quote great if not then so what it’s not the end of the world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a lack or self esteem for as long as I can remember.

Fab actually does boost it... well, Meets do anyways.

Its tricky to appear confident when behind the scenes, you're relaly.. really not.

Runs a lot deeper than esteem sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first started using the Forum it mattered to me. Now? Not so much. I don't need an iron throne, don't need followers, I've been on my own and alone long enough to be comfy with it.

If people choose to engage or 'follow' then I'm flattered but don't change what I have to say to suit.

Self esteem may drop if nobody wants to meet me for an extended period of time (a few months maybe) I just have to remind myself that there are a few gorgeous women on here who would hang out with me if we were closer.. Which cheers me back up again. You need the occasional famine to appreciate the glut.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My self esteem has nothing to do with fab. I've worked hard on myself to get where I am right now and don't need validation from others to make me feel better or worse. I remain only for the social aspect and the many friends I've made along the way. Those that listen to others rather than get to know me have no place in my head or life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I turned off the who I was looking for function and that stopped all messages and looks as good as dead. A small moment of adjustment, "what will I do without all those daily sincere compliments/endorcements in my inbox", I thought. Now Im enjoying the peace and still feel as confident as I once did with a bulging inbox. So I shall say No. Cant quite remember what the question was but still a No.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tell myself I couldnt really give 2 hoots about this alter ego as I'm very preoccupied in everyday life.

But I'm like an excited puppy if I get a wink or message

does that make my needy and fragile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I tell myself I couldnt really give 2 hoots about this alter ego as I'm very preoccupied in everyday life.

But I'm like an excited puppy if I get a wink or message

does that make my needy and fragile?"

not really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My self esteem is always in the toilet. But this sight has nothing to do with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if for any reason self esteem is low with either of us then we would take a break (never have yet 20yrs ++)as for the forums we prefer not to be too well known let others have the li_elight we will stay at the back of the room

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh and that message was self esteem with swinging not everyday life as that's always an up and down and sideways lol but that's life

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By *lem-H-Fandango OP Man
over a year ago

salisbury

"When I first started using the Forum it mattered to me. Now? Not so much. I don't need an iron throne, don't need followers, I've been on my own and alone long enough to be comfy with it.

If people choose to engage or 'follow' then I'm flattered but don't change what I have to say to suit.

Clem nods his head, and agrees with you.

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

" I tell myself I couldnt really give 2 hoots about this alter ego as I'm very preoccupied in everyday life.

But I'm like an excited puppy if I get a wink or message

does that make my needy and fragile?"

Probably just makes you human I'd say. Especially receiving those unsolicited messages..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I first started using the Forum it mattered to me. Now? Not so much. I don't need an iron throne, don't need followers, I've been on my own and alone long enough to be comfy with it.

If people choose to engage or 'follow' then I'm flattered but don't change what I have to say to suit.

Clem nods his head, and agrees with you. "

*Ghengis smiles*

You forgot the **'s

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Have to say not been here long and at times it is a massive confidence boost and at times a kick in the teeth.

It's hard to see it from the other side I suppose. In our situation we are not keeping anything from our OH but the guys we talk to generally are.

But odd when they fall off the planet from time to time....

That said I'm glad we are here, the good far outweighs the bad!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It used to. But that's back when I first started and didnt realise the ratio of males to females. I was forever getting rejected (and still do more often than not). Now I dont take it to heart....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I turned off the who I was looking for function and that stopped all messages and looks as good as dead. A small moment of adjustment, "what will I do without all those daily sincere compliments/endorcements in my inbox", I thought. Now Im enjoying the peace and still feel as confident as I once did with a bulging inbox. So I shall say No. Cant quite remember what the question was but still a No.

The empty Looking For list is the best tip ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I am having a wobble I have a few lovely friends who notice pretty quickly and give me a kick up the arse without any need for drama.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab doesn't have much of an impact on my self-esteem really. Of course it's nice to get positive attention and it's nice to give it too, but I've got a healthy enough sense of self to know that this is not the place for validation. If I feel low or lonely its because of my circumstances in the real world and can only be addressed there, not here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My self esteem is totally reliant on the way I’m

Perceived here, it’s vital for my balance and well being.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tru dat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The forums pass the time of day (or rather my 12 hour night shifts) and it's always nice to speak to new people and the forums allow that, so that's why I post sometimes. I hate cliques and find them cringey so it's not something I find that I long/need to be apart of, find that's more for the ego. As far as self esteem goes, mine is really really bad. I have confidence in my personality as I like myself as a person. It's the outside I don't like, probably like most men and women if they are honest.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I probably have an over inflated sense of self importance, but sometimes i think you need that on here to let the shit fly over your head.

I’m quite well grounded in person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My self esteem fluctuates depending on how I see myself. Fab can be detrimental when I have low self esteem though, so I tend to stay away from it.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

My sense of self esteem varies. If I'm feeling fragile in any way, I hide my profile.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

My self esteem is fine. If I didn’t have a big chin you wouldn’t be on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never been better and getting less attention than ever

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Well, I've been here for 10 years, my ego is just fine. I don't need my name mentioned in any of the love in threads (just as well

)

Fake compliments mainly make my skin crawl, men constantly ignoring what I am looking for just make me ignore and go meh

Why do I stay I hear you ask.....probably habit if truth be told

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes forum wise I can find my self esteem dipping at times, it’s nice to be named / included in threads on occasions, I feel I look from the outside in a lot. I have no issue saying that regardless if others think that’s a pathetic admittance. I then give myself a slap at get on with it.

In general though my self esteem is absolutely fine...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being in a D/S relationship has done wonders for my self esteem. Still working on my body image issues though. Fab has yet to really impact on esteem, other than our first unexpected block which upset me a little. But meh. I guess words can only go do far. If they dont like what they see when a photo is sent.. well... just meh i guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it can damage my self esteem sometimes and that’s when I dip out for a while. Usually that’s when I’ve had a few lovely meets and I get the come down because it’s only fab n all that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the whole fab has probably helped my self esteem. However I make sure that my ego stays in check, over inflated egos are rather off putting.

No I don't consider myself a fab celebrity, I merely contribute on threads sometimes and occasionally start one if Im interested in something or have a query. As for being in a clique, nooooo thanks I'm secure in myself to stand alone which is quite typical of my 'real' life. I rather like my own company.

I'm thankfully too humble to wish to sit on a throne, I'd rather be sitting under a tree watching the world go by

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I'm very happy being me, so Fab has no impact on my self esteem.

Yes, compliments and Fabs are nice but that's it.

However, I do think it can have a positive or negative impact on people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My self esteem is crap most of the time i shouldn't be here

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

My self-esteem is kept in a silk lined box hidden at the back of the wardrobe. I don't want anyone stealing it or damaging it.

Meeting my lovely photographer friend at Fab social changed the way that I look at photos of myself and I no longer worry about having my photo taken, or taking selfies. That may have gone too far the other way, but it's minor compared to others.

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