FabSwingers.com forum: Depression is horrible

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I’ve been struggling with my anexity and depression lately and pushing away the one man who means the world to me my hubby.

He knows how to please me in every way but I feel I’m just not good enough for him

I dunno why I’m saying this here I guess I just need some one to understand

Mrscxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I’ve been struggling with my anexity and depression lately and pushing away the one man who means the world to me my hubby.

He knows how to please me in every way but I feel I’m just not good enough for him

I dunno why I’m saying this here I guess I just need some one to understand

Mrscxxx "

Sending you some positive thoughts. Depression is an awful illness

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By *airytaleOfNewPorkMan
over a year ago

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It's a tough world OP and I feel your pain..... I started out by learning to like me for who I am... Then the rest thankfully started to fall into place. I have my good days and bad days, more anxiety than depression to be fair. Hope you find something to help you take the edge off and I'm sure there are oodles of people in here who feel similar, you are not alone x

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"So I’ve been struggling with my anexity and depression lately and pushing away the one man who means the world to me my hubby.

He knows how to please me in every way but I feel I’m just not good enough for him

I dunno why I’m saying this here I guess I just need some one to understand

Completely understand. Have you tried mindfulness, it can help. Take care J x

Mrscxxx "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's a tough world OP and I feel your pain..... I started out by learning to like me for who I am... Then the rest thankfully started to fall into place. I have my good days and bad days, more anxiety than depression to be fair. Hope you find something to help you take the edge off and I'm sure there are oodles of people in here who feel similar, you are not alone x"

Tough is an understatement sometimes the world is down right awful if that one little thing hadn’t happened then my whole world would be different but it did and I can’t change it

Mrscxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I meditate loads it is good but it doesn’t help change anything

Sex is good

great distraction especially as hubs knows my body than I do myself

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

There's nothing I can say that will help you feel better. But you are definitely not alone, and it is possible to get through it and see a better life on the other side. Depression is a horrible liar. Don't believe anything it says.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The sense of "not good enough" is a vile one to shake at times. I had it last night and struggled to sleep.

Never enough this

Never enough that

Never enough lover

Never enough friend

Never enough attention

Never enough anything

That's where the brain is being a prick.... because you are enough, you're enough you.

I honestly think (in fact I know in my case at least) it's something that was welded into my brain for as long as I can remember from my mother.

Constantly being told to try harder or I'll never be good enough, do this better or it won't be enough, push yourself, come on girl put some bloody effort it, I heard it all and I heard it a LOT.

Think about it.

We strive for stuff because most of the time we see others with it looking like they've won the lottery. That's only a small part of the picture and we don't see the things they're also striving for and wishing they had, whether that be more hours in the day, the flashiest nee car..... or someone who loves them, for who they are.

There's such a sense of lifting weight when it finally hits you that things can change, and if they do you will deal with them, but right now..... you really are enough.

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By *.H.SMan
over a year ago

London

talking is a start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not alone.

Your post is totally relatable.

Try to remind yourself that you are good enough, or he wouldn't be with you! Think of all the tough things you've overcome and all the great things you've done.

I've struggled for years with self hatred, I'm getting better and one thing that's honestly helped is that I try to compliment myself 3 times every day. Whether it be "I'm a good friend", "my hair looks good today" or "I am a good cook", anything, slowly my opinion of myself is changing and I now have more days where I'm actually quite proud of who I am than days where I think I'm not good enough.

Be kind to yourself, you deserve it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its horrible maybe try making small lifestyle changes being in a routine can sometimes make it bad be spontanious celebrate small victories

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By *airytaleOfNewPorkMan
over a year ago

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Tough is an understatement sometimes the world is down right awful if that one little thing hadn’t happened then my whole world would be different but it did and I can’t change it

Mrscxxx "

Yes I don't know your situation OP, just offering some sort of ear to your pain....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anxiety is a living hell whilst it controls you.. but always remember it's a learnt behaviour based on what has happened. You are still here and you have survived the past. That shows a great power you have yet to clearly see. Start with you.. are you enough for you? Do you see what others see or are you still seeing the damaged version.. learning to value yourself is tough, but it's so important in gaining perspective and realising you're more than enough. Grab all the help you can get and keep talking.

There's light at the other side

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By *parxyndpetalCouple
over a year ago

Durham

I totally hear you sister, I feel the same sometimes, my biggest mistake was looking up my partners and his exs old profile on another webset and watching their videos and seeing everything they got up to etc, and when I feel I'm not good enough that's where I go in my mind and punish myself and then take it out on my partner.

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy, but guess what they are still with us when we have been at our worst so that says a lot about them!!

Sending lots of love, my inbox is always open if you ever fancy a chat

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I totally hear you sister, I feel the same sometimes, my biggest mistake was looking up my partners and his exs old profile on another webset and watching their videos and seeing everything they got up to etc, and when I feel I'm not good enough that's where I go in my mind and punish myself and then take it out on my partner.

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy, but guess what they are still with us when we have been at our worst so that says a lot about them!!

Sending lots of love, my inbox is always open if you ever fancy a chat

15 years for us so there has to be something keeping him here right?

Mrscxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's truly awful and I completely sympathise with you. I hope tomorrow is a better day. X

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"The sense of "not good enough" is a vile one to shake at times. I had it last night and struggled to sleep.

Never enough this

Never enough that

Never enough lover

Never enough friend

Never enough attention

Never enough anything

That's where the brain is being a prick.... because you are enough, you're enough you.

I honestly think (in fact I know in my case at least) it's something that was welded into my brain for as long as I can remember from my mother.

Constantly being told to try harder or I'll never be good enough, do this better or it won't be enough, push yourself, come on girl put some bloody effort it, I heard it all and I heard it a LOT.

Think about it.

There's such a sense of lifting weight when it finally hits you that things can change, and if they do you will deal with them, but right now..... you really are enough.

I love this, its absolutely correct.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Depression is a horrible liar. Don't believe anything it says."

What a perfect mantra you have there. Thank you for that.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

There's some fantastic advice on this thread OP, lots of people understand exactly how you're feeling as they've gone through/are going through the exact same thing.

I'll just add a couple of things:

Firstly; be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up for the negative things that you're feeling or what you feel you're doing wrong.

Secondly; if you haven't already, then get help, actual professional help. Go to your doctor, self refer to your local mental health clinic, look into talking based therapies.

Thirdly; Remember that you won't feel like this forever, this will pass and it does get easier.

I really do hope that you understand that these feelings aren't 'you' it's all part of the illness. Getting help and support is the key.

If you ever need to chat or anyone else for that matter, I'm always happy to talk things through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Depression is a horrible liar. Don't believe anything it says.

What a perfect mantra you have there. Thank you for that."

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There's some fantastic advice on this thread OP, lots of people understand exactly how you're feeling as they've gone through/are going through the exact same thing.

I'll just add a couple of things:

Firstly; be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up for the negative things that you're feeling or what you feel you're doing wrong.

Secondly; if you haven't already, then get help, actual professional help. Go to your doctor, self refer to your local mental health clinic, look into talking based therapies.

Thirdly; Remember that you won't feel like this forever, this will pass and it does get easier.

I really do hope that you understand that these feelings aren't 'you' it's all part of the illness. Getting help and support is the key.

If you ever need to chat or anyone else for that matter, I'm always happy to talk things through. "

I’ve been to the doctors they put me on medication it hasn’t helped if anything it’s made me worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flip it.

Is he enough for you?

Yes?

Does he have flaws?

Yes of course he does, he's human.

He's still enough for you right.

If you can love him, and accept his flaws, would support and stand by him during the tough times, then why can't he be the same?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's some fantastic advice on this thread OP, lots of people understand exactly how you're feeling as they've gone through/are going through the exact same thing.

I'll just add a couple of things:

Firstly; be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up for the negative things that you're feeling or what you feel you're doing wrong.

Secondly; if you haven't already, then get help, actual professional help. Go to your doctor, self refer to your local mental health clinic, look into talking based therapies.

Thirdly; Remember that you won't feel like this forever, this will pass and it does get easier.

I really do hope that you understand that these feelings aren't 'you' it's all part of the illness. Getting help and support is the key.

If you ever need to chat or anyone else for that matter, I'm always happy to talk things through.

I’ve been to the doctors they put me on medication it hasn’t helped if anything it’s made me worse "

They take time to kick in, either that or they aren't agreeing with you, there are many out there and sometimes it takes trial and error to find the glove that fits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cope with my depression most of the time but I do get the I,m not good enough a lot which is the hardest thing for me to try and change .sending hugs op x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's some fantastic advice on this thread OP, lots of people understand exactly how you're feeling as they've gone through/are going through the exact same thing.

I'll just add a couple of things:

Firstly; be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up for the negative things that you're feeling or what you feel you're doing wrong.

Secondly; if you haven't already, then get help, actual professional help. Go to your doctor, self refer to your local mental health clinic, look into talking based therapies.

Thirdly; Remember that you won't feel like this forever, this will pass and it does get easier.

I really do hope that you understand that these feelings aren't 'you' it's all part of the illness. Getting help and support is the key.

If you ever need to chat or anyone else for that matter, I'm always happy to talk things through.

I’ve been to the doctors they put me on medication it hasn’t helped if anything it’s made me worse

They take time to kick in, either that or they aren't agreeing with you, there are many out there and sometimes it takes trial and error to find the glove that fits

Agree. Go back and ask for another one. You should start feeling benefits within a few days when it works...

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