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Joining a monastery....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

....given my fortune on this site, I am considering joining a monastery. Does anyone have any helpful hints and tips on being a monk?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a hard habit to kick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, first you must have 50 years of no sex and 4 years of complete silence. You must own a karaoke machine and a brown cloak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....given my fortune on this site, I am considering joining a monastery. Does anyone have any helpful hints and tips on being a monk? "
judo chop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....given my fortune on this site, I am considering joining a monastery. Does anyone have any helpful hints and tips on being a monk? judo chop"

TeAbag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’ve got the hairdo for it though x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You’ve got the hairdo for it though x "

That was my first step but I’m thinking of growing the sides so I get a proper tonsure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You’ve got the hairdo for it though x

That was my first step but I’m thinking of growing the sides so I get a proper tonsure "

Do it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes, first you must have 50 years of no sex and 4 years of complete silence. You must own a karaoke machine and a brown cloak "

50 years. Crikey that’s another 30 before I can join. I can sort the Karaoke machine and silence, but will need to purchase a brown cloak. Ill have 30 years of condom savings to put towards it. I think that amounts to about £6 at usage rates for the last 20 years

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's a hard habit to kick "

I’ve kicked all my dirty habits already

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's a hard habit to kick

I’ve kicked all my dirty habits already "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"....given my fortune on this site, I am considering joining a monastery. Does anyone have any helpful hints and tips on being a monk? judo chop"
will Tai Chi do?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Self flagellation, hair shirts, penance on your knees. What's not to like?

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By *ltcouple666Couple
over a year ago

cheshire


"Yes, first you must have 50 years of no sex and 4 years of complete silence. You must own a karaoke machine and a brown cloak

50 years. Crikey that’s another 30 before I can join. I can sort the Karaoke machine and silence, but will need to purchase a brown cloak. Ill have 30 years of condom savings to put towards it. I think that amounts to about £6 at usage rates for the last 20 years "

Ha ha just read your profile awesome x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could visit the nunnery now and again

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You could visit the nunnery now and again "

They’ll have nun of that

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes, first you must have 50 years of no sex and 4 years of complete silence. You must own a karaoke machine and a brown cloak

50 years. Crikey that’s another 30 before I can join. I can sort the Karaoke machine and silence, but will need to purchase a brown cloak. Ill have 30 years of condom savings to put towards it. I think that amounts to about £6 at usage rates for the last 20 years

Ha ha just read your profile awesome x"

Fat lot of good it does me but glad you think it is awesome - thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You could visit the nunnery now and again

They’ll have nun of that "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Self flagellation, hair shirts, penance on your knees. What's not to like?"

Oh yeah I forgot that. Might enjoy that too much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/05/19 09:58:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[beat to the flagellation post by poster at 20/05/19 09:58:02]"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"[beat to the flagellation post by poster at 20/05/19 09:58:02]"

I’m now going to have to self flagellate for impure thoughts and desires.

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

There was a Carthusian monk.

Who went to bed in a bunk,

Where he dreamt that Venus,

Was sucking his elbow,

And woke up all covered in sweat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There was a Carthusian monk.

Who went to bed in a bunk,

Where he dreamt that Venus,

Was sucking his elbow,

And woke up all covered in sweat.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"[beat to the flagellation post by poster at 20/05/19 09:58:02]

I’m now going to have to self flagellate for impure thoughts and desires."

There you go, you're already on the path to righteousness

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"[beat to the flagellation post by poster at 20/05/19 09:58:02]

I’m now going to have to self flagellate for impure thoughts and desires.

There you go, you're already on the path to righteousness "

Shit, that’s another 20 strokes I’ll have to give myself

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