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 I should be barred from this really.. makes me overthink everything and want to ring all those close to me..
So my thought tonight is are you living your best life?? Are you doing what scares you and taking a chance or are you tootling along...
We really don't know what's round the corner.. | |||
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"It could be better but its what i got" But are you making the most of life?!?! | |||
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"It could be better but its what i got But are you making the most of life?!?! " no its not that simple | |||
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"It could be better but its what i got But are you making the most of life?!?! no its not that simple" Never is.. but if you knew time was limited would you prioritise anything differently? | |||
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"I'm not but I'm working towards appreciating what I do have and making tomorrow a better day." That's a great start! | |||
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"I've had a can off full fat tonight I'm wining at life "Small things  | |||
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"After T was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (2 years in remission) my attitude to life changed a lot. We’re grabbing every opportunity & I want to travel as much as we can. J x" All the best x | |||
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"It could be better but its what i got But are you making the most of life?!?! no its not that simple Never is.. but if you knew time was limited would you prioritise anything differently?" yes id plan a robbery or another way of getting cash to fund my kids no reason to fear jail if im gonna croak it | |||
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"After T was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (2 years in remission) my attitude to life changed a lot. We’re grabbing every opportunity & I want to travel as much as we can. J x" Ah that's ace congratulations!! massive scares have a tendency to really make you evaluate happiness! Not sure everyone does until something big happens.. | |||
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"I've had a can off full fat tonight I'm wining at life
Small things "tiny but earth moving | |||
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"I'm living the life I have in the best way I can Sometimes that's all any of us can do. My best life, its perhaps just a dream.. " Could you do anything to fascilitate a dream? | |||
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"I've had a can off full fat tonight I'm wining at life
Small things tiny but earth moving "Easy now... | |||
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"I've had a can off full fat tonight I'm wining at life
Small things tiny but earth moving
Easy now..."what you on about ? | |||
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"It could be better but its what i got But are you making the most of life?!?! no its not that simple Never is.. but if you knew time was limited would you prioritise anything differently?yes id plan a robbery or another way of getting cash to fund my kids no reason to fear jail if im gonna croak it" Life insurance and a new plan? | |||
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"After T was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (2 years in remission) my attitude to life changed a lot. We’re grabbing every opportunity & I want to travel as much as we can. J x" Beards got the same diagnosis last May, we live every day to our best now . Once you realise the next day may not have been there you appreciate everything . I wish you both well and I know how hard it must be for you both  | |||
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"It could be better but its what i got But are you making the most of life?!?! no its not that simple Never is.. but if you knew time was limited would you prioritise anything differently?yes id plan a robbery or another way of getting cash to fund my kids no reason to fear jail if im gonna croak it Life insurance and a new plan?" naaa blaze of glory lass the new billy the kid  | |||
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"It could be better but its what i got But are you making the most of life?!?! no its not that simple Never is.. but if you knew time was limited would you prioritise anything differently?yes id plan a robbery or another way of getting cash to fund my kids no reason to fear jail if im gonna croak it Life insurance and a new plan?naaa blaze of glory lass the new billy the kid "Why am I not surprised?!?!?!  | |||
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"I love my life, I love the people in my life. Do I have regrets? No, only lessons learned that make me appreciate my life more than ever. I feel blessed and I’ll continue to make the most of it "Love it | |||
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"It could be better but its what i got But are you making the most of life?!?! no its not that simple Never is.. but if you knew time was limited would you prioritise anything differently?yes id plan a robbery or another way of getting cash to fund my kids no reason to fear jail if im gonna croak it Life insurance and a new plan?naaa blaze of glory lass the new billy the kid
Why am I not surprised?!?!?! "you seen my hat | |||
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"After T was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma (2 years in remission) my attitude to life changed a lot. We’re grabbing every opportunity & I want to travel as much as we can. J x Beards got the same diagnosis last May, we live every day to our best now . Once you realise the next day may not have been there you appreciate everything . I wish you both well and I know how hard it must be for you both "Hope everything works out for you both x | |||
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"It could be better but its what i got But are you making the most of life?!?! no its not that simple Never is.. but if you knew time was limited would you prioritise anything differently?yes id plan a robbery or another way of getting cash to fund my kids no reason to fear jail if im gonna croak it Life insurance and a new plan?naaa blaze of glory lass the new billy the kid
Why am I not surprised?!?!?! you seen my hat "Yup.. twat in a hat..  | |||
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"It could be better but its what i got But are you making the most of life?!?! no its not that simple Never is.. but if you knew time was limited would you prioritise anything differently?yes id plan a robbery or another way of getting cash to fund my kids no reason to fear jail if im gonna croak it Life insurance and a new plan?naaa blaze of glory lass the new billy the kid
Why am I not surprised?!?!?! you seen my hat
Yup.. godlike in a hat.. "no u cant have my penis u have your own | |||
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"It could be better but its what i got But are you making the most of life?!?! no its not that simple Never is.. but if you knew time was limited would you prioritise anything differently?yes id plan a robbery or another way of getting cash to fund my kids no reason to fear jail if im gonna croak it Life insurance and a new plan?naaa blaze of glory lass the new billy the kid
Why am I not surprised?!?!?! you seen my hat
Yup.. godlike in a hat.. no u cant have my penis u have your own"Ah shucks.. yes I do | |||
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"I’ve learnt that life is way too short and try my best to live my life doing things I want not just what I need x" Totally so easy to put things off and not truly live.. | |||
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"I think I have a good ballence. My life isn't all about me, I have little people to think about and My good woman. So I try to reach a good ballence between my responsibilities and living. If I've provided and made a good life for the people I love then I have lived a good life. And too be fair I have already seen a fair bit of the world and had some adventures that many will never have. " Balance is important when you have others to consider.. sounds like you have all you need right now | |||
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"I most definitely am trying to create the best life for my son and I. Life is too precious to waste it... That's why I changed jobs, ended my 22 year marriage all within 6 months.. Hardest things I've ever had to do... But I would not change one thing...because I can finally discover who I am and just be me. "Very brave I hope you discover true happiness!! | |||
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"I most definitely am trying to create the best life for my son and I. Life is too precious to waste it... That's why I changed jobs, ended my 22 year marriage all within 6 months.. Hardest things I've ever had to do... But I would not change one thing...because I can finally discover who I am and just be me. "Pretty ballsy. Hope it works out the way you want it to | |||
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"Mostly. Could probably do a little better, could definitely do a whole lot worse.." It's a start!! | |||
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"I'm living the life I have in the best way I can Sometimes that's all any of us can do. My best life, its perhaps just a dream.. Could you do anything to fascilitate a dream?" Like the morning mist on a high moor they just burn away in the morning sun So probably not... | |||
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"I most definitely am trying to create the best life for my son and I. Life is too precious to waste it... That's why I changed jobs, ended my 22 year marriage all within 6 months.. Hardest things I've ever had to do... But I would not change one thing...because I can finally discover who I am and just be me.
Very brave I hope you discover true happiness!! "Thank you... Xx | |||
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"I'm living the life I have in the best way I can Sometimes that's all any of us can do. My best life, its perhaps just a dream.. Could you do anything to fascilitate a dream? Like the morning mist on a high moor they just burn away in the morning sun So probably not..." Go get it... | |||
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"I'm trying to do my best for a few others right now so my life is on the back burner so to speak for the time being" That's a beautifully selfless act in itself | |||
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"I try not to overthink things like “am I living the best life”..would possibly take me along a path I’m not ready to travel down at the moment. Also, could you end up forever chasing the best life instead of living a good life within the one that you already have made for yourself? An interesting thought.. "Very possibly.. I can't afford to do what I'd like.. but think I'm doing my absolute best with what I can work with | |||
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"Im in scary territory currently, not particulary good scary either but there's a way out, I know it It just needs a spotlight putting on it "It'll shine I lived in darkness for years.. now all I see is sun.. keep searching xx | |||
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"I'm living the life I have in the best way I can Sometimes that's all any of us can do. My best life, its perhaps just a dream.. Could you do anything to fascilitate a dream? Like the morning mist on a high moor they just burn away in the morning sun So probably not... Go get it..." Catching mist, platting fog, neither are possible. Some dreams are like that.....probably. | |||
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"I'm living the life I have in the best way I can Sometimes that's all any of us can do. My best life, its perhaps just a dream.. Could you do anything to fascilitate a dream? Like the morning mist on a high moor they just burn away in the morning sun So probably not... Go get it... Catching mist, platting fog, neither are possible. Some dreams are like that.....probably." Maybe you need new dreams.. | |||
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"I don't know if I'm living my best life currently but I am trying to do things that challenge me and step out of my comfort zone a bit - I've started saying yes to more things and thinking I can do this and going for them. I still worry about them but I am trying to live more. I don't know if it's so much living my best life as trying to live as much as possible." That's just it.. living outside your comfort zone.. that's huge!! I used to say no to everything.. now I say yes most of the time.. it's life changing | |||
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. You'll understand that even though I may seem like an excitable puppy and easily distracted from the important tasks in my average day, it's the distractions that often matter most and lead us down new paths (technically you were a brilliant distraction yourself ). Still we also need to be sensible, I hold down a half decent job, live a good life, look out for my friends and family, my little girl is a pain in my bumhole on a daily basis but she's my world and its the greatest gift to watch her grow up happily
Shiz can all be taken away in a heartbeat though when you least expect, so I'd urge all you motherfuckers to think a little less about what you don't have, to appreciate what you do have, to tell the people that you love that you do and to never leave an argument unresolved if you can help it.
Reach for dem starz! Peace innit | |||
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"I don't know if I'm living my best life currently but I am trying to do things that challenge me and step out of my comfort zone a bit - I've started saying yes to more things and thinking I can do this and going for them. I still worry about them but I am trying to live more. I don't know if it's so much living my best life as trying to live as much as possible. That's just it.. living outside your comfort zone.. that's huge!! I used to say no to everything.. now I say yes most of the time.. it's life changing "Yes! That's it exactly. It's not so much about best for me. What is my best life? It's a bit of a buzz term. But it is about trying things for me. About actually making the most out of opportunities and being aware of what I am doing etc. This is a sun and wine fuelled stream of guff.  | |||
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"I don't know if I'm living my best life currently but I am trying to do things that challenge me and step out of my comfort zone a bit - I've started saying yes to more things and thinking I can do this and going for them. I still worry about them but I am trying to live more. I don't know if it's so much living my best life as trying to live as much as possible. That's just it.. living outside your comfort zone.. that's huge!! I used to say no to everything.. now I say yes most of the time.. it's life changing
Yes! That's it exactly. It's not so much about best for me. What is my best life? It's a bit of a buzz term. But it is about trying things for me. About actually making the most out of opportunities and being aware of what I am doing etc. This is a sun and wine fuelled stream of guff. "Gin and emotional tv.. I'm lost!! it's stuff that scares you.. that's living.. truly knowing you're alive! | |||
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"I don't know if I'm living my best life currently but I am trying to do things that challenge me and step out of my comfort zone a bit - I've started saying yes to more things and thinking I can do this and going for them. I still worry about them but I am trying to live more. I don't know if it's so much living my best life as trying to live as much as possible. That's just it.. living outside your comfort zone.. that's huge!! I used to say no to everything.. now I say yes most of the time.. it's life changing "I think it's less about seeing your comfort zone as fixed, more trying to step out now and then and building confidence to expand your comfort zone. It works in reverse if you always live well within your comfort zone it'll shrink..... | |||
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"Sorry Saffron, but the term living my best life really grips my shit. The vast majority of the time I hear it are from the YouTube/instafamous crowd to justify blagging free stuff as income, and doing everything to avoid living in the real world. I can't equate it now with how the majority of people live. Everyone is doing their best. Very few have the luxury or freedom to pursue these fancies (mostly for the validation from internet followers) Sorry, rant over... "Take away the buzz word and see it as doing what scares you.. pushing yourself in some way that makes you feel alive.. not necessarily financial or crazy.. but looking for something that fires your spirit.. | |||
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"Yes, I think so. I've accepted my limitations, which are extensive due to disability and a limited capacity to work which has a knock on effect on my finances, and I'm making the very best of what I've got. It may look sedate and unexciting to the outside observer, but I have come so far. I'm not dead, I'm enjoying things, I have people to love and who love me. This is my best life for sure. " My life looks the same.. but from a place of complete darkness it's now light. That's a huge gift in itself.. it's not always something huge and shiny that makes us smile. Just getting up and smiling for some is huge x | |||
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"Sorry Saffron, but the term living my best life really grips my shit. The vast majority of the time I hear it are from the YouTube/instafamous crowd to justify blagging free stuff as income, and doing everything to avoid living in the real world. I can't equate it now with how the majority of people live. Everyone is doing their best. Very few have the luxury or freedom to pursue these fancies (mostly for the validation from internet followers) Sorry, rant over...
Take away the buzz word and see it as doing what scares you.. pushing yourself in some way that makes you feel alive.. not necessarily financial or crazy.. but looking for something that fires your spirit.. "That bits almost easy if you just take the plunge and do it. Be like Alice, believe 6 impossible things before breakfast.. Firing anothers spirit, not always so easy.... | |||
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 injoy miss . | |||
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"You know a little more about me than most OP . You'll understand that even though I may seem like an excitable puppy and easily distracted from the important tasks in my average day, it's the distractions that often matter most and lead us down new paths (technically you were a brilliant distraction yourself ). Still we also need to be sensible, I hold down a half decent job, live a good life, look out for my friends and family, my little girl is a pain in my bumhole on a daily basis but she's my world and its the greatest gift to watch her grow up happily
Shiz can all be taken away in a heartbeat though when you least expect, so I'd urge all you motherfuckers to think a little less about what you don't have, to appreciate what you do have, to tell the people that you love that you do and to never leave an argument unresolved if you can help it.
Reach for dem starz! Peace innit " it's the little things... knowing you're fortunate in so many ways is huge. But valuing them is even more important x | |||
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"For me it's a bit of both. Once you realise we are all just winging it , pressure seems to be a little less. " My favourite term.. I wing life.. but now I smile as I do it.. | |||
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"You know a little more about me than most OP . You'll understand that even though I may seem like an excitable puppy and easily distracted from the important tasks in my average day, it's the distractions that often matter most and lead us down new paths (technically you were a brilliant distraction yourself ). Still we also need to be sensible, I hold down a half decent job, live a good life, look out for my friends and family, my little girl is a pain in my bumhole on a daily basis but she's my world and its the greatest gift to watch her grow up happily
Shiz can all be taken away in a heartbeat though when you least expect, so I'd urge all you motherfuckers to think a little less about what you don't have, to appreciate what you do have, to tell the people that you love that you do and to never leave an argument unresolved if you can help it.
Reach for dem starz! Peace innit
it's the little things... knowing you're fortunate in so many ways is huge. But valuing them is even more important x "Hope you realise just how fortunate you are  | |||
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"You know a little more about me than most OP . You'll understand that even though I may seem like an excitable puppy and easily distracted from the important tasks in my average day, it's the distractions that often matter most and lead us down new paths (technically you were a brilliant distraction yourself ). Still we also need to be sensible, I hold down a half decent job, live a good life, look out for my friends and family, my little girl is a pain in my bumhole on a daily basis but she's my world and its the greatest gift to watch her grow up happily
Shiz can all be taken away in a heartbeat though when you least expect, so I'd urge all you motherfuckers to think a little less about what you don't have, to appreciate what you do have, to tell the people that you love that you do and to never leave an argument unresolved if you can help it.
Reach for dem starz! Peace innit
it's the little things... knowing you're fortunate in so many ways is huge. But valuing them is even more important x
Hope you realise just how fortunate you are " I do. | |||
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"For me it's a bit of both. Once you realise we are all just winging it , pressure seems to be a little less. My favourite term.. I wing life.. but now I smile as I do it.. " Fellow winger here
I do know it frustrates some friends but on the other hand I’m usually pretty flexible about most things, like arrangements and being available. | |||
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"For me it's a bit of both. Once you realise we are all just winging it , pressure seems to be a little less. My favourite term.. I wing life.. but now I smile as I do it.. Fellow winger here
I do know it frustrates some friends but on the other hand I’m usually pretty flexible about most things, like arrangements and being available."Least they know where they stand.. my mates are amazing for getting that I can't always commit to stuff.. I fly by the seat of my pants but won't always win. I do what I can and they get it | |||
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"I'm not making the most of my life because like most it's all work, sleep, repeat. Whenever I see a hearse, I think to my self, I should be making the most of my life, because I will be dead for long enough.. But I carry on with whatever I have to do that day and nothing changes. I sometimes think life is already written for us and we're just going through the motions, as if life is a stage and we are all here to play our part. " Maybe.. or maybe you've just not felt that urge strong enough to think different.. to all accounts and purposes I shouldn't still be here.. I have nothing but I have everything.. I don't know.. maybe that's just what I was supposed to see. | |||
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"I’m living my best life but what’s round the corner scares the hell out of me! More importantly... I’d like to know which corner to avoid in advance "That's no fun DC.. half the fun is the chance..if you lose everything you no longer feel fear.. | |||
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"I try to be, I'd like to travel more but other than that I still have bags of determination to not get old regretting the things I didn't do, and I have no intention of slipping into a sedentary comfortable lifestyle because I think I'm "too old" to do things or have adventures. Life is for living and it can end far sooner than we think it will, so live the shit out of it "Totally.. you're never too old to start again. Life begins at 43 I believe | |||
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"I was laying next to Doughnut earlier, we’d been out meeting the locals and had a lovely day, I can’t believe how much our lives have changed, my sons are all in good education and my eldest is leaving home in September for uni and life feels pretty damn amazing right now x" That's a beautiful thought to reflect on life sometimes takes us in directions we could never plan for! It's lovely to see that x | |||
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"Yes, I think so. I've accepted my limitations, which are extensive due to disability and a limited capacity to work which has a knock on effect on my finances, and I'm making the very best of what I've got. It may look sedate and unexciting to the outside observer, but I have come so far. I'm not dead, I'm enjoying things, I have people to love and who love me. This is my best life for sure. My life looks the same.. but from a place of complete darkness it's now light. That's a huge gift in itself.. it's not always something huge and shiny that makes us smile. Just getting up and smiling for some is huge x " Exactly, and a truly cherish it x | |||
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"Yes, I think so. I've accepted my limitations, which are extensive due to disability and a limited capacity to work which has a knock on effect on my finances, and I'm making the very best of what I've got. It may look sedate and unexciting to the outside observer, but I have come so far. I'm not dead, I'm enjoying things, I have people to love and who love me. This is my best life for sure. My life looks the same.. but from a place of complete darkness it's now light. That's a huge gift in itself.. it's not always something huge and shiny that makes us smile. Just getting up and smiling for some is huge x Exactly, and a truly cherish it x" Every day | |||
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"I'm watching bloody 24 hours in A&E again.. I should be barred from this really.. makes me overthink everything and want to ring all those close to me..
So my thought tonight is are you living your best life?? Are you doing what scares you and taking a chance or are you tootling along...
We really don't know what's round the corner.. "Yes | |||
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"Sorry Saffron, but the term living my best life really grips my shit. The vast majority of the time I hear it are from the YouTube/instafamous crowd to justify blagging free stuff as income, and doing everything to avoid living in the real world. I can't equate it now with how the majority of people live. Everyone is doing their best. Very few have the luxury or freedom to pursue these fancies (mostly for the validation from internet followers) Sorry, rant over...
Take away the buzz word and see it as doing what scares you.. pushing yourself in some way that makes you feel alive.. not necessarily financial or crazy.. but looking for something that fires your spirit.. "Oh I do a lot of that, even when it's a bit self indulgent. I thought you meant generally being a good human being.. | |||
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"Sorry Saffron, but the term living my best life really grips my shit. The vast majority of the time I hear it are from the YouTube/instafamous crowd to justify blagging free stuff as income, and doing everything to avoid living in the real world. I can't equate it now with how the majority of people live. Everyone is doing their best. Very few have the luxury or freedom to pursue these fancies (mostly for the validation from internet followers) Sorry, rant over...
Take away the buzz word and see it as doing what scares you.. pushing yourself in some way that makes you feel alive.. not necessarily financial or crazy.. but looking for something that fires your spirit..
Oh I do a lot of that, even when it's a bit self indulgent. I thought you meant generally being a good human being.."Can be both.. being the best person you can be and taking chances on life.. | |||
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"No I'm not living my best life. I'm definitely tootling along avoiding any drama. I have lived an amazing life - but over the last few years I'm becoming more antisocial and uninspired "I didn't leave my own home for over 9 months at one point.. pretty much had 3 years of self seclusion. Sometimes you need this to recharge but it's possible to change too x | |||
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"Being diagnosed with breast cancer in my early 20s really thought me to embrace life and live for the now! For several years I couldn't do the things I wanted to because of treatment and just feeling awful. But now, I do as much as I can, as often as I can. You never know when your time will be up, I want to have lived! " Wow that's young! Massive health scares certainly make you see things differently.. x | |||
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"I try to, some days it’s not easy but I’m quite happy and healthy just now, had bad times in the past so I think it makes you see the bigger picture anyway " Happy and healthy was my aspiration for several years. Sometimes that's huge in itself! X | |||
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"I got up at six to drive to Oxford. I’ve negotiated the crazy cyclists and I’m sat in the sunshine two hours early for my appointment. So I’m sat in the sunshine eating my emergency Car Sherbet Lemons. That’s about the best I can make of this situation at the moment till the coffee shop opens. So you could say I’m living the best life that’s available. " Ha ha that's winning | |||
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"Could be better but can't grumble much it's the little things that I'm missing in my life " Are you actively trying to find them? Little things can make a massive difference | |||
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"I had a rough time last year, a bought of ill health kinda shook me up and I realised how one day I might not have the chances I do now and I haven't looked back. "Serious health scares are a tough lesson but they definately change the way you view life!! Glad you're grabbing it with both hands now | |||
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"My life is amazing every day brings new challenges but I decided a few years ago that life is for living and the people with hate in their minds are worth avoiding. I have the privilege to have horses and boy they can make you cry and laughing in the same 5 minutes. "Ah that's ace!! Animals are magical for that!! I put a huge part of my recovery down to an amazing little dog that won't let me feel sad for a moment! | |||
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"No I'm not living my best life. I'm definitely tootling along avoiding any drama. I have lived an amazing life - but over the last few years I'm becoming more antisocial and uninspired
I didn't leave my own home for over 9 months at one point.. pretty much had 3 years of self seclusion. Sometimes you need this to recharge but it's possible to change too x"A few years ago I realised I’d got into a bubble and hardly spoken to anyone outside my circle of friends in months. Little things like chatting to checkout assistants instead of using the self service ones actually made a difference. If you’re stuck in a rut you have to push yourself. Most people are nice and want to be friendly. Now I try to say yes to everything and do things that scare and challenge me. In the last couple of weeks that’s included a week long party in the African desert, complete with sex tent and human naked carwash, and a climbing route in Germany with a suspended bridge. I’m really afraid of heights/falling. Once you realise you can do things that push you, you realise how strong you are | |||
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"Definitely living my best life Left my abusive marriage three years ago and never looked back. I have four wonderful children and agrandson who make me smile everyday. Soon to go on holiday with the best friends a girl could want. I’ve had heartbreak too, my first grandson passing away 18 months ago but he inspired me to look at my life differently and make sure I appreciate every day I have " Bloody hell  you've been through it!! So glad you're in a better place!! X | |||
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"I'd say I'm a bit of a contradiction. I'm a tootler but I do take the odd risk. I'm very much tootling as far as career etc goes. I'm too afraid to risk the little income I do have and the fallout that could come from that if I were to change jobs (unable to pay rent/stuck in a job I despise) so no, I don't think I'm doing my best in that regard at all, but I suppose I'm doing my best to maintain what I have. The emotional side, well, this is the trickiest one, but for now, I believe so. There are risks I want to take, but I don't think I'm ready to take them yet, as it could result in catastrophe and the thoughts terrify me. When I get to the stage where I believe I'd be able to deal with worst case scenario then I may take the leap. P " I hope that time comes soon! From what you've said you've beaten a hell of a lot already!! Sometimes we don't see how strong we are because we see the things we've been challenged by as still present. Hope you grab it and keep it you deserve it all. | |||
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"Sure am... I work alone amongst nature, i stay spontaneous, i do stuff that people think I shouldn t be doing "at my age", I seek out fun and excitement, i regret nothing whether it be broken relationships, bad decisions, being face down bladdered or streaking thru my home village.. They re all just lessons to learn from.. "Bloody love it!! Sounds like heaven! X | |||
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"No I'm not living my best life. I'm definitely tootling along avoiding any drama. I have lived an amazing life - but over the last few years I'm becoming more antisocial and uninspired
I didn't leave my own home for over 9 months at one point.. pretty much had 3 years of self seclusion. Sometimes you need this to recharge but it's possible to change too x
A few years ago I realised I’d got into a bubble and hardly spoken to anyone outside my circle of friends in months. Little things like chatting to checkout assistants instead of using the self service ones actually made a difference. If you’re stuck in a rut you have to push yourself. Most people are nice and want to be friendly.
Now I try to say yes to everything and do things that scare and challenge me. In the last couple of weeks that’s included a week long party in the African desert, complete with sex tent and human naked carwash, and a climbing route in Germany with a suspended bridge. I’m really afraid of heights/falling. Once you realise you can do things that push you, you realise how strong you are "Wow.. that's quite a journey!! So bloody amazing when you realise you can get out of a rut of fear! | |||
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"Sure am... I work alone amongst nature, i stay spontaneous, i do stuff that people think I shouldn t be doing "at my age", I seek out fun and excitement, i regret nothing whether it be broken relationships, bad decisions, being face down bladdered or streaking thru my home village.. They re all just lessons to learn from..
Bloody love it!! Sounds like heaven! X"Tis heaven and its going thru ptsd and related problems that made me one day say fk it, just do what you feel and see what happens.. Its not right we try to live to societys expectations, especially older we get.. I love a friend of mine, a dancer of 87 years old, danced since she was five.. Every fancy dress she s out there, one halloween she wore an all in one pvc suit as catgirl, she attended five dances in one week, one of which finished at three am, it took her a day to get out of the suit and when she dances with me she still feels my ass and grinds my thighs and I love it because though her body has aged her mind hasn t.. Live as you want to live, by your rules... I started aerial silks last year which can get interesting if I m upside down, naked, and cant remember exact way of getting out of it lolol | |||
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"Sure am... I work alone amongst nature, i stay spontaneous, i do stuff that people think I shouldn t be doing "at my age", I seek out fun and excitement, i regret nothing whether it be broken relationships, bad decisions, being face down bladdered or streaking thru my home village.. They re all just lessons to learn from..
Bloody love it!! Sounds like heaven! X
Tis heaven and its going thru ptsd and related problems that made me one day say fk it, just do what you feel and see what happens.. Its not right we try to live to societys expectations, especially older we get.. I love a friend of mine, a dancer of 87 years old, danced since she was five.. Every fancy dress she s out there, one halloween she wore an all in one pvc suit as catgirl, she attended five dances in one week, one of which finished at three am, it took her a day to get out of the suit and when she dances with me she still feels my ass and grinds my thighs and I love it because though her body has aged her mind hasn t.. Live as you want to live, by your rules... I started aerial silks last year which can get interesting if I m upside down, naked, and cant remember exact way of getting out of it lolol "That's truly inspiring!! My family despair because I don't aspire to traditional stuff like them.. but after a breakdown I'm a different person and see happiness so differently! I want to be that 87 year old that grabs every moment!! | |||
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"Wow.. that's quite a journey!! So bloody amazing when you realise you can get out of a rut of fear!" Thanks, Africa was a game changer. A week spent with almost entirely new friends. Even had the balls to ask the massive queue at passport control if I could jump the line to get to my connecting flight. Turned out even that wasn’t enough and I missed it anyway, but it’s the thought that counts | |||
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"I'm watching bloody 24 hours in A&E again.. I should be barred from this really.. makes me overthink everything and want to ring all those close to me..
So my thought tonight is are you living your best life?? Are you doing what scares you and taking a chance or are you tootling along...
We really don't know what's round the corner.. "I do! I'm going to die same as all of us..I'm just going to do it a bit sooner than I expected...I have Unspecified Interstitial Lung Disease or if you prefer Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. Its not catching and other than my lungs scarring up I'm actually very healthy BP 125 over 75 Heart Rate 65 Blood sugar 4.5 and Cholesterol 4.8 ok I'm a bit overweight but other than that and having a terminal disease I am disgustingly healthy. I have 1-2 years before scarring builds up to where I can't breath (suffocate) at which point they give me an injection to 'ease my breathing' and I will go to sleep and not wake up...I can think of a lot worse ways to go! In the meantime with the help of a little extra oxygen when moving I can do everything I used to I'm certainly not going to keel over and I am loving life. I have been doing all the things I've been thinking or saying about doing for years, living life and loving it!!! So all you lot out there, get on and enjoy life... do the things you've wanted to dont waste it because its a great gift. | |||
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"Wow.. that's quite a journey!! So bloody amazing when you realise you can get out of a rut of fear! Thanks, Africa was a game changer. A week spent with almost entirely new friends. Even had the balls to ask the massive queue at passport control if I could jump the line to get to my connecting flight. Turned out even that wasn’t enough and I missed it anyway, but it’s the thought that counts "Ha ha but you tried!! I don't think I'd open my mouth so I'd never know if I did if I could have made the flight!! Africa sounds amazing!! That's a proper life changer | |||
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"I'm watching bloody 24 hours in A&E again.. I should be barred from this really.. makes me overthink everything and want to ring all those close to me..
So my thought tonight is are you living your best life?? Are you doing what scares you and taking a chance or are you tootling along...
We really don't know what's round the corner..
I do! I'm going to die same as all of us..I'm just going to do it a bit sooner than I expected...I have Unspecified Interstitial Lung Disease or if you prefer Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. Its not catching and other than my lungs scarring up I'm actually very healthy BP 125 over 75 Heart Rate 65 Blood sugar 4.5 and Cholesterol 4.8 ok I'm a bit overweight but other than that and having a terminal disease I am disgustingly healthy. I have 1-2 years before scarring builds up to where I can't breath (suffocate) at which point they give me an injection to 'ease my breathing' and I will go to sleep and not wake up...I can think of a lot worse ways to go!
In the meantime with the help of a little extra oxygen when moving I can do everything I used to I'm certainly not going to keel over and I am loving life. I have been doing all the things I've been thinking or saying about doing for years, living life and loving it!!!
So all you lot out there, get on and enjoy life... do the things you've wanted to dont waste it because its a great gift.
"Bloody hell!!! I'm so sorry!! That sent shivers down my spine!! I hope you get to do everything you hope to. You're very brave | |||
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" Ha ha but you tried!! I don't think I'd open my mouth so I'd never know if I did if I could have made the flight!! Africa sounds amazing!! That's a proper life changer "Internet search AfrikaBurn, it’s an incredible life experience. A lot of best lives going on there | |||
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"Sure am... I work alone amongst nature, i stay spontaneous, i do stuff that people think I shouldn t be doing "at my age", I seek out fun and excitement, i regret nothing whether it be broken relationships, bad decisions, being face down bladdered or streaking thru my home village.. They re all just lessons to learn from..
Bloody love it!! Sounds like heaven! X
Tis heaven and its going thru ptsd and related problems that made me one day say fk it, just do what you feel and see what happens.. Its not right we try to live to societys expectations, especially older we get.. I love a friend of mine, a dancer of 87 years old, danced since she was five.. Every fancy dress she s out there, one halloween she wore an all in one pvc suit as catgirl, she attended five dances in one week, one of which finished at three am, it took her a day to get out of the suit and when she dances with me she still feels my ass and grinds my thighs and I love it because though her body has aged her mind hasn t.. Live as you want to live, by your rules... I started aerial silks last year which can get interesting if I m upside down, naked, and cant remember exact way of getting out of it lolol
That's truly inspiring!! My family despair because I don't aspire to traditional stuff like them.. but after a breakdown I'm a different person and see happiness so differently! I want to be that 87 year old that grabs every moment!! "Then do it.. It cant kill you it can only make you strong n happyyyy | |||
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"I certainly don't consider myself to be brave...It is what it is I can't change it, but I'm not going to let it drag me down. It has changed me but for the better in as I said I now do things instead of just talking about doing them." You're story is inspirational and puts so many things into perspective. Good luck x | |||
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"Im the happiest generally iv been in years" Huuulllkkkk smaaaassshhhhh | |||
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"Im the happiest generally iv been in years Huuulllkkkk smaaaassshhhhh "that makes me happy too | |||
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"Im the happiest generally iv been in years Huuulllkkkk smaaaassshhhhh that makes me happy too"When's the wedding? | |||
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"Im the happiest generally iv been in years Huuulllkkkk smaaaassshhhhh that makes me happy too
When's the wedding? "no wedding daft head | |||
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"Im the happiest generally iv been in years Huuulllkkkk smaaaassshhhhh that makes me happy too
When's the wedding? no wedding daft head"Lies | |||
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"Im the happiest generally iv been in years Huuulllkkkk smaaaassshhhhh that makes me happy too
When's the wedding? no wedding daft head
Lies"no lies at all | |||
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"Im the happiest generally iv been in years Huuulllkkkk smaaaassshhhhh that makes me happy too
When's the wedding? no wedding daft head
Liesno lies at all"I'll ask you again in a month.. | |||
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"Im the happiest generally iv been in years Huuulllkkkk smaaaassshhhhh that makes me happy too
When's the wedding? no wedding daft head
Liesno lies at all
I'll ask you again in a month.. "ask me in 6 month it will be the same | |||
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"Im the happiest generally iv been in years Huuulllkkkk smaaaassshhhhh that makes me happy too
When's the wedding? no wedding daft head
Liesno lies at all
I'll ask you again in a month.. ask me in 6 month it will be the same"Nah. You'll break. Can see it coming.. | |||
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"Im the happiest generally iv been in years Huuulllkkkk smaaaassshhhhh that makes me happy too
When's the wedding? no wedding daft head
Liesno lies at all"I'm living my life the best way i know, whether that's my 'best' life is another matter. | |||
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"Im the happiest generally iv been in years Huuulllkkkk smaaaassshhhhh that makes me happy too
When's the wedding? no wedding daft head
Liesno lies at all
I'll ask you again in a month.. ask me in 6 month it will be the same
Nah. You'll break. Can see it coming.."get ya eyes checked lass | |||
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"I'd say I'm a bit of a contradiction. I'm a tootler but I do take the odd risk. I'm very much tootling as far as career etc goes. I'm too afraid to risk the little income I do have and the fallout that could come from that if I were to change jobs (unable to pay rent/stuck in a job I despise) so no, I don't think I'm doing my best in that regard at all, but I suppose I'm doing my best to maintain what I have. The emotional side, well, this is the trickiest one, but for now, I believe so. There are risks I want to take, but I don't think I'm ready to take them yet, as it could result in catastrophe and the thoughts terrify me. When I get to the stage where I believe I'd be able to deal with worst case scenario then I may take the leap. P I hope that time comes soon! From what you've said you've beaten a hell of a lot already!! Sometimes we don't see how strong we are because we see the things we've been challenged by as still present. Hope you grab it and keep it you deserve it all."Thank you
I think because the breakdown I had took me by surprise (thought I'd come out of the abuse unscathed - how wrong I was!) it has worried me about it happening again in the future.
However, now I know the physical signs too that I ignored last time, so hopefully I'll be able to take action beforehand if it were to get to that stage.
I think my main issue was that it was something completely unrelated that caused the actual snap, however the similarities between events were evident, plus I had a whole heap of shit on my plate at the same time.
You're a good egg Saffron, your thread the other day about just taking a moment has really struck a chord with me.
You'd have pissed yourself yesterday, I was in the garden and a beautiful white cabbage butterfly flew over the fence and landed next to me. I slowly pulled out my phone to take a photo, shocked I didn't frighten it off. I thought the little bugger could feel the appreciation flowing out of me and was a gift from nature. It still didn't move. Perfect.
It was a triangle piece of fucking paper from next door 
P | |||
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"I'd say I'm a bit of a contradiction. I'm a tootler but I do take the odd risk. I'm very much tootling as far as career etc goes. I'm too afraid to risk the little income I do have and the fallout that could come from that if I were to change jobs (unable to pay rent/stuck in a job I despise) so no, I don't think I'm doing my best in that regard at all, but I suppose I'm doing my best to maintain what I have. The emotional side, well, this is the trickiest one, but for now, I believe so. There are risks I want to take, but I don't think I'm ready to take them yet, as it could result in catastrophe and the thoughts terrify me. When I get to the stage where I believe I'd be able to deal with worst case scenario then I may take the leap. P I hope that time comes soon! From what you've said you've beaten a hell of a lot already!! Sometimes we don't see how strong we are because we see the things we've been challenged by as still present. Hope you grab it and keep it you deserve it all.
Thank you
I think because the breakdown I had took me by surprise (thought I'd come out of the abuse unscathed - how wrong I was!) it has worried me about it happening again in the future.
However, now I know the physical signs too that I ignored last time, so hopefully I'll be able to take action beforehand if it were to get to that stage.
I think my main issue was that it was something completely unrelated that caused the actual snap, however the similarities between events were evident, plus I had a whole heap of shit on my plate at the same time.
You're a good egg Saffron, your thread the other day about just taking a moment has really struck a chord with me.
You'd have pissed yourself yesterday, I was in the garden and a beautiful white cabbage butterfly flew over the fence and landed next to me. I slowly pulled out my phone to take a photo, shocked I didn't frighten it off. I thought the little bugger could feel the appreciation flowing out of me and was a gift from nature. It still didn't move. Perfect.
It was a triangle piece of fucking paper from next door
P"Hahaha what are you like | |||
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"I'd say I'm a bit of a contradiction. I'm a tootler but I do take the odd risk. I'm very much tootling as far as career etc goes. I'm too afraid to risk the little income I do have and the fallout that could come from that if I were to change jobs (unable to pay rent/stuck in a job I despise) so no, I don't think I'm doing my best in that regard at all, but I suppose I'm doing my best to maintain what I have. The emotional side, well, this is the trickiest one, but for now, I believe so. There are risks I want to take, but I don't think I'm ready to take them yet, as it could result in catastrophe and the thoughts terrify me. When I get to the stage where I believe I'd be able to deal with worst case scenario then I may take the leap. P I hope that time comes soon! From what you've said you've beaten a hell of a lot already!! Sometimes we don't see how strong we are because we see the things we've been challenged by as still present. Hope you grab it and keep it you deserve it all.
Thank you
I think because the breakdown I had took me by surprise (thought I'd come out of the abuse unscathed - how wrong I was!) it has worried me about it happening again in the future.
However, now I know the physical signs too that I ignored last time, so hopefully I'll be able to take action beforehand if it were to get to that stage.
I think my main issue was that it was something completely unrelated that caused the actual snap, however the similarities between events were evident, plus I had a whole heap of shit on my plate at the same time.
You're a good egg Saffron, your thread the other day about just taking a moment has really struck a chord with me.
You'd have pissed yourself yesterday, I was in the garden and a beautiful white cabbage butterfly flew over the fence and landed next to me. I slowly pulled out my phone to take a photo, shocked I didn't frighten it off. I thought the little bugger could feel the appreciation flowing out of me and was a gift from nature. It still didn't move. Perfect.
It was a triangle piece of fucking paper from next door
P"Ha ha ha that's brilliant!!!
I had a breakdown too.. at a point where I thought I was through the worst life could throw at me.. knocked me off my feet as thought that was the easy bit.. I'm out the other side now, but honestly didn't think I'd make it. I find it hard to articulate how life altering the last few years have been but find chatting about stuff that's helped me connects so many of us who have felt so bloody alone. I no longer wake with dread and that in itself is a beautiful thing to celebrate | |||
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" Thank you
I think because the breakdown I had took me by surprise (thought I'd come out of the abuse unscathed - how wrong I was!) it has worried me about it happening again in the future.
However, now I know the physical signs too that I ignored last time, so hopefully I'll be able to take action beforehand if it were to get to that stage.
I think my main issue was that it was something completely unrelated that caused the actual snap, however the similarities between events were evident, plus I had a whole heap of shit on my plate at the same time.
You're a good egg Saffron, your thread the other day about just taking a moment has really struck a chord with me.
You'd have pissed yourself yesterday, I was in the garden and a beautiful white cabbage butterfly flew over the fence and landed next to me. I slowly pulled out my phone to take a photo, shocked I didn't frighten it off. I thought the little bugger could feel the appreciation flowing out of me and was a gift from nature. It still didn't move. Perfect.
It was a triangle piece of fucking paper from next door
P
Ha ha ha that's brilliant!!!
I had a breakdown too.. at a point where I thought I was through the worst life could throw at me.. knocked me off my feet as thought that was the easy bit.. I'm out the other side now, but honestly didn't think I'd make it. I find it hard to articulate how life altering the last few years have been but find chatting about stuff that's helped me connects so many of us who have felt so bloody alone. I no longer wake with dread and that in itself is a beautiful thing to celebrate "Waking with dread, I know that one well. You know what's really odd, I never woke with dread even when I was broken, it was a totally different thing. Like, I knew I was broken, I had fears and I had dreads (leaving the house for everything except attending parties or clubs, I felt people could see I was broken and would judge me for it, yet at clubs I felt even if they could see it they wouldn't judge, I would just be accepted as the who I was at that moment) but I never woke with the dread whilst unwell, unless I had an early appointment at the docs etc. I lived with the dread for a lot of years prior to that, fell to sleep with the dread of what tomorrow may bring, woke with the dread of what today would throw at me (sometimes literally) but that lifted the day I found my voice and kicked my ex out. I realised whatever happened after that point it had to be better than existing in a life of dread. The power of knowing you can do SOMETHING right today in your own eyes, rather than doing EVERYTHING wrong no matter how right it is in reality in someone else's eyes is massive. Freedom. Freedom to achieve, even if it's something as simple as doing the washing up, but doing the washing up without being criticised HOW it's been done. P | |||
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" Thank you
I think because the breakdown I had took me by surprise (thought I'd come out of the abuse unscathed - how wrong I was!) it has worried me about it happening again in the future.
However, now I know the physical signs too that I ignored last time, so hopefully I'll be able to take action beforehand if it were to get to that stage.
I think my main issue was that it was something completely unrelated that caused the actual snap, however the similarities between events were evident, plus I had a whole heap of shit on my plate at the same time.
You're a good egg Saffron, your thread the other day about just taking a moment has really struck a chord with me.
You'd have pissed yourself yesterday, I was in the garden and a beautiful white cabbage butterfly flew over the fence and landed next to me. I slowly pulled out my phone to take a photo, shocked I didn't frighten it off. I thought the little bugger could feel the appreciation flowing out of me and was a gift from nature. It still didn't move. Perfect.
It was a triangle piece of fucking paper from next door
P
Ha ha ha that's brilliant!!!
I had a breakdown too.. at a point where I thought I was through the worst life could throw at me.. knocked me off my feet as thought that was the easy bit.. I'm out the other side now, but honestly didn't think I'd make it. I find it hard to articulate how life altering the last few years have been but find chatting about stuff that's helped me connects so many of us who have felt so bloody alone. I no longer wake with dread and that in itself is a beautiful thing to celebrate
Waking with dread, I know that one well. You know what's really odd, I never woke with dread even when I was broken, it was a totally different thing. Like, I knew I was broken, I had fears and I had dreads (leaving the house for everything except attending parties or clubs, I felt people could see I was broken and would judge me for it, yet at clubs I felt even if they could see it they wouldn't judge, I would just be accepted as the who I was at that moment) but I never woke with the dread whilst unwell, unless I had an early appointment at the docs etc.
I lived with the dread for a lot of years prior to that, fell to sleep with the dread of what tomorrow may bring, woke with the dread of what today would throw at me (sometimes literally) but that lifted the day I found my voice and kicked my ex out. I realised whatever happened after that point it had to be better than existing in a life of dread.
The power of knowing you can do SOMETHING right today in your own eyes, rather than doing EVERYTHING wrong no matter how right it is in reality in someone else's eyes is massive.
Freedom.
Freedom to achieve, even if it's something as simple as doing the washing up, but doing the washing up without being criticised HOW it's been done.
P"100%!! It's at that point you realise how powerful you really are
I had to remove myself from my parents at one point because their judgement on my breakdown hurt more than anything. But realising that a huge part of my anxiety was based on what I believed others were thinking was a turning point. From that day I never said I was 'fine' if I wasn't and I started to see success in the smallest thing.. even if it was just getting dressed!! Until you hit that point of completely broken and exhausted it's hard to understand the battle to rebuild. But once you accept the demons as past tense it's a magical journey to accepting you're worth fighting for. When someone comes into your life and agrees you know you're alive | |||
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" Thank you
I think because the breakdown I had took me by surprise (thought I'd come out of the abuse unscathed - how wrong I was!) it has worried me about it happening again in the future.
However, now I know the physical signs too that I ignored last time, so hopefully I'll be able to take action beforehand if it were to get to that stage.
I think my main issue was that it was something completely unrelated that caused the actual snap, however the similarities between events were evident, plus I had a whole heap of shit on my plate at the same time.
You're a good egg Saffron, your thread the other day about just taking a moment has really struck a chord with me.
You'd have pissed yourself yesterday, I was in the garden and a beautiful white cabbage butterfly flew over the fence and landed next to me. I slowly pulled out my phone to take a photo, shocked I didn't frighten it off. I thought the little bugger could feel the appreciation flowing out of me and was a gift from nature. It still didn't move. Perfect.
It was a triangle piece of fucking paper from next door
P
Ha ha ha that's brilliant!!!
I had a breakdown too.. at a point where I thought I was through the worst life could throw at me.. knocked me off my feet as thought that was the easy bit.. I'm out the other side now, but honestly didn't think I'd make it. I find it hard to articulate how life altering the last few years have been but find chatting about stuff that's helped me connects so many of us who have felt so bloody alone. I no longer wake with dread and that in itself is a beautiful thing to celebrate
Waking with dread, I know that one well. You know what's really odd, I never woke with dread even when I was broken, it was a totally different thing. Like, I knew I was broken, I had fears and I had dreads (leaving the house for everything except attending parties or clubs, I felt people could see I was broken and would judge me for it, yet at clubs I felt even if they could see it they wouldn't judge, I would just be accepted as the who I was at that moment) but I never woke with the dread whilst unwell, unless I had an early appointment at the docs etc.
I lived with the dread for a lot of years prior to that, fell to sleep with the dread of what tomorrow may bring, woke with the dread of what today would throw at me (sometimes literally) but that lifted the day I found my voice and kicked my ex out. I realised whatever happened after that point it had to be better than existing in a life of dread.
The power of knowing you can do SOMETHING right today in your own eyes, rather than doing EVERYTHING wrong no matter how right it is in reality in someone else's eyes is massive.
Freedom.
Freedom to achieve, even if it's something as simple as doing the washing up, but doing the washing up without being criticised HOW it's been done.
P
100%!! It's at that point you realise how powerful you really are
I had to remove myself from my parents at one point because their judgement on my breakdown hurt more than anything. But realising that a huge part of my anxiety was based on what I believed others were thinking was a turning point. From that day I never said I was 'fine' if I wasn't and I started to see success in the smallest thing.. even if it was just getting dressed!! Until you hit that point of completely broken and exhausted it's hard to understand the battle to rebuild. But once you accept the demons as past tense it's a magical journey to accepting you're worth fighting for. When someone comes into your life and agrees you know you're alive "Yes yes yes! I was lucky in the sense that my dad just listened. I can't say he understood, but I think he did. He had a "moment" of his own many many years ago following a tragic accident at work where he believed he caused the death of a co-worker, even though it really was a tragic accident. I was too young to know or remember the impact it had on him, or how badly it affected his mental health. I don't recall him struggling, but I was never privy to that side of things. He worked long unsociable hours so I didn't really see him that much to know. I got the dad version when he was home rather than any other version. My mum, well, we barely speak and she was no help whatsoever, nor did I want her to be. I needed my recovery to be mine, with the support of those who could give me the tools I needed for me, not because they wanted to lay claim to being wonderful and loving when the reality is stark contrast, whilst doing more harm than good, so I can totally understand your need to remove yourself from your parents. We can only deal with so much at once when recovering or in the depths of the grip, and taking the reigns of control to help ourselves and WANT to get better is crucial. That was totally the difference of the cause of my breakdown to my actual breakdown. Whilst the toxicity was in my life I prayed I didn't wake, but the breakdown gave me reason to fight to live. Then, you're all through the past, feel you've recovered and plodding along just dandy. A new challenge arises! A beautiful frightening enlightening challenge. You fall in love. I didn't realise I had some triggers, I thought I was healed, but that's the thing, you don't know until you're in that situation. There are things I couldn't have predicted that may make me anxious, but we're both learning. B is afraid he'll do something to hurt me (I think most of us are when we care for someone) but truth is we are both learning. As long as neither of us are cunty then things should be just grand. Yes I may have a mini-meltdown over something he/I didn't expect, but he's learning that those anxiety attacks are part of the way my brain at the moment deals with stuff. With each one I'm learning too. I'm learning to process them better, to let them run their course and then address the cause once it's over. He must think I'm worth it | |||
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" Thank you
I think because the breakdown I had took me by surprise (thought I'd come out of the abuse unscathed - how wrong I was!) it has worried me about it happening again in the future.
However, now I know the physical signs too that I ignored last time, so hopefully I'll be able to take action beforehand if it were to get to that stage.
I think my main issue was that it was something completely unrelated that caused the actual snap, however the similarities between events were evident, plus I had a whole heap of shit on my plate at the same time.
You're a good egg Saffron, your thread the other day about just taking a moment has really struck a chord with me.
You'd have pissed yourself yesterday, I was in the garden and a beautiful white cabbage butterfly flew over the fence and landed next to me. I slowly pulled out my phone to take a photo, shocked I didn't frighten it off. I thought the little bugger could feel the appreciation flowing out of me and was a gift from nature. It still didn't move. Perfect.
It was a triangle piece of fucking paper from next door
P
Ha ha ha that's brilliant!!!
I had a breakdown too.. at a point where I thought I was through the worst life could throw at me.. knocked me off my feet as thought that was the easy bit.. I'm out the other side now, but honestly didn't think I'd make it. I find it hard to articulate how life altering the last few years have been but find chatting about stuff that's helped me connects so many of us who have felt so bloody alone. I no longer wake with dread and that in itself is a beautiful thing to celebrate
Waking with dread, I know that one well. You know what's really odd, I never woke with dread even when I was broken, it was a totally different thing. Like, I knew I was broken, I had fears and I had dreads (leaving the house for everything except attending parties or clubs, I felt people could see I was broken and would judge me for it, yet at clubs I felt even if they could see it they wouldn't judge, I would just be accepted as the who I was at that moment) but I never woke with the dread whilst unwell, unless I had an early appointment at the docs etc.
I lived with the dread for a lot of years prior to that, fell to sleep with the dread of what tomorrow may bring, woke with the dread of what today would throw at me (sometimes literally) but that lifted the day I found my voice and kicked my ex out. I realised whatever happened after that point it had to be better than existing in a life of dread.
The power of knowing you can do SOMETHING right today in your own eyes, rather than doing EVERYTHING wrong no matter how right it is in reality in someone else's eyes is massive.
Freedom.
Freedom to achieve, even if it's something as simple as doing the washing up, but doing the washing up without being criticised HOW it's been done.
P
100%!! It's at that point you realise how powerful you really are
I had to remove myself from my parents at one point because their judgement on my breakdown hurt more than anything. But realising that a huge part of my anxiety was based on what I believed others were thinking was a turning point. From that day I never said I was 'fine' if I wasn't and I started to see success in the smallest thing.. even if it was just getting dressed!! Until you hit that point of completely broken and exhausted it's hard to understand the battle to rebuild. But once you accept the demons as past tense it's a magical journey to accepting you're worth fighting for. When someone comes into your life and agrees you know you're alive
Yes yes yes!
I was lucky in the sense that my dad just listened. I can't say he understood, but I think he did. He had a "moment" of his own many many years ago following a tragic accident at work where he believed he caused the death of a co-worker, even though it really was a tragic accident. I was too young to know or remember the impact it had on him, or how badly it affected his mental health. I don't recall him struggling, but I was never privy to that side of things. He worked long unsociable hours so I didn't really see him that much to know. I got the dad version when he was home rather than any other version. My mum, well, we barely speak and she was no help whatsoever, nor did I want her to be. I needed my recovery to be mine, with the support of those who could give me the tools I needed for me, not because they wanted to lay claim to being wonderful and loving when the reality is stark contrast, whilst doing more harm than good, so I can totally understand your need to remove yourself from your parents. We can only deal with so much at once when recovering or in the depths of the grip, and taking the reigns of control to help ourselves and WANT to get better is crucial.
That was totally the difference of the cause of my breakdown to my actual breakdown. Whilst the toxicity was in my life I prayed I didn't wake, but the breakdown gave me reason to fight to live.
Then, you're all through the past, feel you've recovered and plodding along just dandy. A new challenge arises! A beautiful frightening enlightening challenge. You fall in love.
I didn't realise I had some triggers, I thought I was healed, but that's the thing, you don't know until you're in that situation. There are things I couldn't have predicted that may make me anxious, but we're both learning. B is afraid he'll do something to hurt me (I think most of us are when we care for someone) but truth is we are both learning. As long as neither of us are cunty then things should be just grand. Yes I may have a mini-meltdown over something he/I didn't expect, but he's learning that those anxiety attacks are part of the way my brain at the moment deals with stuff. With each one I'm learning too. I'm learning to process them better, to let them run their course and then address the cause once it's over. He must think I'm worth it "It's all a learning curve and starting to put yourself first and not stress about what anyone else thinks is hard!! Sounds like you have a proper keeper it's scary as hell trusting anyone after you've been scarred by so much.. but so worth it when it's right x | |||
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"Definitely living my best life Left my abusive marriage three years ago and never looked back. I have four wonderful children and agrandson who make me smile everyday. Soon to go on holiday with the best friends a girl could want. I’ve had heartbreak too, my first grandson passing away 18 months ago but he inspired me to look at my life differently and make sure I appreciate every day I have Bloody hell you've been through it!! So glad you're in a better place!! X"Thank you x | |||
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SSS
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"Just wanted to tell you Exquisite that I think you are absolutely brilliant. As Saffron knows I'm having some challenges myself but to pull yourself up by your own 'bootstraps' the way you have managed to do is an amazing thing and you should be very very proud of yourself." Thank you x I've always been a "fight for what you believe in" kind of person, it's a fire in my belly ya know? Thing was, due to some handy mind games from my ex the thing I didn't believe in anymore was myself. I wish you the very best and appreciate your comment more than you could imagine xx | |||
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