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I never thought I'd say that!

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Following on from another thread, sometimes children cause you to say things that you really never ever imagined yourself saying in the course of a 'normal' and rational existence.

There have been too many to count in my lifetime now but one that sticks in my mind was "Ew! You don't lick your brothers tongue!"

Share your worst here...

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By *ewkesbury cowboyMan
over a year ago

Tewkesbury

Don't bite her feet you don't know where they been

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, you can't eat that toast from the bin. Especially now it's covered with the innards of the vacuum dust box.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"No, you can't eat that toast from the bin. Especially now it's covered with the innards of the vacuum dust box. "

Foraging, it's a good life skill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Poo goes in the toilet, not on the telly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No, you can't eat that toast from the bin. Especially now it's covered with the innards of the vacuum dust box.

Foraging, it's a good life skill. "

He was so pleased with himself too. He'd sorted his own breakfast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Poo goes in the toilet, not on the telly "

Tell that to the producers of Celebrity Love Island/insert your last favourite televisual dross here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Poo goes in the toilet, not on the telly

Tell that to the producers of Celebrity Love Island/insert your last favourite televisual dross here "

Oh believe me, i wish it were a metaphor and not literal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont throw your shit at next doors house

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Please stop licking the snail

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

These really paint a picture

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lego does not go up your nose."

"Darling, the biscuit is broken. Screaming will not make it whole again."

"Please don't kiss the worms."

"Please don't eat anymore ladybirds".

All accompanied by an exasperated sigh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the kid; Stop chewing the dog.

To the dog; Leave it. There’s wet wipes for that....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't make a blanket out of my skin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can't make a blanket out of my skin."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm afraid you can't marry the dog.

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

You've a slug on your foot

Is one that always sticks in my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wtf did you stick a button up your nose for?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scratching your arse with a knitting needle is not a new sport

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Can you please not swallow any more coins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No every black man isnt black panther

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You can't make a blanket out of my skin.

"

I have soft skin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes we can have a wee wee sword fight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take the build a bear clothes off the dog!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“I don’t know why that man has no arms”....

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Can you please not swallow any more coins"

Can you please not swallow anymore bogies.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It's usually them saying something to me. Today's was, Who taught you emojis?!

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

It's not acceptable to bite the doctor.

It's alright for the doctor to touch your willy but no one else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My then 5 year old at the zoo ‘wow those are some big balls’ very loudly watching the lions !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just tonight

‘Put the snow away. It wasn’t your snow to play with!’

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Loudly with a quizzical expression "What language is that man talking mummy?"

We were in Yorkshire....and about two foot away from this old bloke who was trying to make conversation..

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Was taking my lad to Edinburgh couple of years ago and he was asking what we would do / see. I said we could see a movie one night about 30 minutes later he came back and said “Mum I don’t want to watch a movie in Scotland as I can’t read subtitles and watch the movie” haha

Just one of his little gems through the years !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Loudly with a quizzical expression "What language is that man talking mummy?"

We were in Yorkshire....and about two foot away from this old bloke who was trying to make conversation.."

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Funniest question as we went past a cemetery

"Mum, if you were superglued to your dog and you both died at the same time would they bury you both in the same coffin?"

The man sat behind us snorted right down my neck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son at 5 upset the vicar at School

Vicar- And God made the world! Hr made you, he made all the animals.

My son - But if God made me! The world and all the animals who made God?

The Vicar - Um

My son got told off for querying the Vicar! My response when told "well? Did he get an answer?" Um, no.

My son said to me "I wasn't trying to be mean, I just wanted to know where God came from"

I just said "From the minds of people who want to control others"

A few weeks later there was a knock on the door. He opened it thinking it was his friend, it was a Jehovah Witness, he shouts "MUUUM, there is a thing at the door wanting to talk about God!" I suggested he ask where God came from??? My five year old on the doorstep having a standoff with a JC witness, insisting he tell him where god came from! "Well,you are a God botherer, you should know"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My then 5 year old at the zoo ‘wow those are some big balls’ very loudly watching the lions ! "

That reminds me of a club night

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By *eteforprincesssMan
over a year ago

up a monkeys butt!

Daughter to brother....5yo... 7yo..

Dad!!! B wont let me plaw with his swing ding..( a toy )

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