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"some times and i dont condone violence but the only way is when confronted if you have to stand and fight as i did one day , go for the ring leader and give them all you've got . once the little minions see there leader getting a good hiding they soon backed off for me . this is not the right thing to do but sometimes the only thing . unless there are a few people who are much tougher that your son or your self knows that would have a quiet scarey word with these kids . pitty i wasnt closer to you i would do it my self . i hate bulleys" Yeah i have told him to go for the ring leader, and if they all get him again, go back and get the ring leader again and same each and every time until the ring leader has had enough and tells them to back off.. The problem is they are never alone, they're always in groups of 4+ and the thing is our lad is just so soft in his nature i don't think he's got it in him... I wish i was 15 again...! | |||
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"Get your boy down to your local judo/karate centre and teach him to fend for himself. I'm not saying that agression is the answer but once it becomes known around that he can look after himself nobody will try it on with him, and if one is brave enough to have a go he can make a quick example of him. He'll be left alone from that point on, I assure you. Forget all this namby pampy treat them with kid gloves go round to their parents house etc, it's all wishy washy liberal bollocks, a kid has to stand up for himself or he becomes a target as children have a pack mentality and always go for the weakest to elevate their own standing in the wider group." well said xxx I think you must have come across this before xxx I would go to the parents .. I should find out where thay lived or pick up at school and tell them what there kids are up too .. as it has to stop ... things like this can play on a childs mind for years and years and thay can end up being victim ... has to STOP. | |||
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"Does he actually want to go to the park and hang out down the village on his own? Is he happier being a bit of a loner? Do you really want him to fit in with these other kids and become 'one of them'.... does he want to be 'one of them'?" No he doesn't want to go on his own but when he has a friend over he'd like to feel he can go out and about, plus if he wants to go to the shop it's the only one close to us. We DO NOT want him to hangout/fit in with them and he doesn't either. All he wants is to be able to go to these places without fear.. He's happy to be a loner and does enjoy his own company. But still it's a sad world when idiots can't leave him alone.. Again thanks to everyone that put there views over.. | |||
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"If you get him involved in self defence classes or martial arts... it should be because he is interested. It will do wonders for his self confidence, he'll get a sense of belonging from being part of that group..... but please don't tell him the reason you want him to go is because of the kids on the park." I was thinking of it as more of a way of getting him into a completely new circle of friends and developing interests that take him other places than to a park where he doesn't know from day to day if he's going to get a kicking. Karate teaches that even though the ability to defend oneself is there the restraint not to use it is also present unless compelled to, and I'm absolutely certain that 13y/o Joe Thug will not want to look like a wanker in front of his cronies if he picks on a kid and then gets the crap kicked out of him. | |||
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"If you get him involved in self defence classes or martial arts... it should be because he is interested. It will do wonders for his self confidence, he'll get a sense of belonging from being part of that group..... but please don't tell him the reason you want him to go is because of the kids on the park. I was thinking of it as more of a way of getting him into a completely new circle of friends and developing interests that take him other places than to a park where he doesn't know from day to day if he's going to get a kicking. Karate teaches that even though the ability to defend oneself is there the restraint not to use it is also present unless compelled to, and I'm absolutely certain that 13y/o Joe Thug will not want to look like a wanker in front of his cronies if he picks on a kid and then gets the crap kicked out of him." I get where your advice is coming from. I am more pointing out the conversations parents have with their kids when trying to do the right thing often gives the kid more to worry about. | |||
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"some times and i dont condone violence but the only way is when confronted if you have to stand and fight as i did one day , go for the ring leader and give them all you've got . once the little minions see there leader getting a good hiding they soon backed off for me . this is not the right thing to do but sometimes the only thing . unless there are a few people who are much tougher that your son or your self knows that would have a quiet scarey word with these kids . pitty i wasnt closer to you i would do it my self . i hate bulleys Yeah i have told him to go for the ring leader, and if they all get him again, go back and get the ring leader again and same each and every time until the ring leader has had enough and tells them to back off.. The problem is they are never alone, they're always in groups of 4+ and the thing is our lad is just so soft in his nature i don't think he's got it in him... I wish i was 15 again...!" you have in away answered your own question about this if there are 3+ its a gang and you said there are 4+ and also your son and anyones child for that matter has a legal right to walk the street with out fear of being bullied go back to the police and report it in person if they still refuse to do anything tell them your going to contact the IPCC there are laws inplace now to protect every one against being bullied and the police have to act by law but if you get your son to fight back its your son who will end up in court soley because of his medical condishion why because its easyer for the police to charge your son than do there job and charge the bullies | |||
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"some times and i dont condone violence but the only way is when confronted if you have to stand and fight as i did one day , go for the ring leader and give them all you've got . once the little minions see there leader getting a good hiding they soon backed off for me . this is not the right thing to do but sometimes the only thing . unless there are a few people who are much tougher that your son or your self knows that would have a quiet scarey word with these kids . pitty i wasnt closer to you i would do it my self . i hate bulleys" i am a pacifist but... my eldest is autistic, in mainstream school though. He can be very suggestible, and takes things literally. A couple of years ago he was getting grief of a lad in his school. One day this boy told him to pour salt into his mouth at lunch time..so my son did, obviously it tasted horrible. He grabbed the bullies head and slammed it into the table...he has never been bothered again...even the school treated him leniently. | |||
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"Our son is unable to go down the the local village or local park because there's about 14 kids down there that keep bullying him. Anything from name calling to getting physical. Sadley it's mainly girls and a few boys. We don't really know what to do to stop this. Has anyone got any ideas? Most of them are always in trouble with the police, for some reason the police are powerless against these teens... Going to see the parents is a waste of time as this has been tried and the parents do NOT give a sh*t about what they are upto... " i think we all know that in the real world theres not a lot you can do, teens get away with stuff like this as all that happens is they gave taken down to the station, cautioned and let out, and that worse case, if the police can even be bothered to take them to the station, all you will achieve is your sons live being made worse as they will just have a go at him more for you calling the police In an ideal world you would call the police and the police would sort it and this would stop but we dont live in an idea world My ex hubby was attacked by a teenage yob who went to smash a bottle over his head as my ex turned and saw him he lifted his arm and the kid hit his elbo instead shattering the bone, it took 4 ops to fix his elbo and almost lost his arm at one point as the bone was so badly broken, the lad was 17 years old and had a criminal record as long as his arm including robbing a OAP at knife point but had still never had custodial, this happened in the febuary and the police all but begged us not to press charges till the August he would then be 18 and tried as an adult, which we did other wise he would have walked again to terrorise another day, from the febuary to the August we had 2 cars stolen by him, i actually saw him drive off in the one thro the window, and my daughter was beaten up by 3 lads who just turned out to be his cousins as well as having his mum turn up at my door and threatern me if i didnt drop the charges, when i reported all this to the police i was told to drop it or i would be seen as picking on him and the case would be thrown out of court If under 18s can get away with pulling knifes on old people and robbing them and putting people in hospital they not going to do much about a bunch of ,kids picking on another kid There needs to be tougher laws on teens but sadly there isnt | |||
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"Our son is unable to go down the the local village or local park because there's about 14 kids down there that keep bullying him. Anything from name calling to getting physical. Sadley it's mainly girls and a few boys. We don't really know what to do to stop this. Has anyone got any ideas? Most of them are always in trouble with the police, for some reason the police are powerless against these teens... Going to see the parents is a waste of time as this has been tried and the parents do NOT give a sh*t about what they are upto... i think we all know that in the real world theres not a lot you can do, teens get away with stuff like this as all that happens is they gave taken down to the station, cautioned and let out, and that worse case, if the police can even be bothered to take them to the station, all you will achieve is your sons live being made worse as they will just have a go at him more for you calling the police In an ideal world you would call the police and the police would sort it and this would stop but we dont live in an idea world My ex hubby was attacked by a teenage yob who went to smash a bottle over his head as my ex turned and saw him he lifted his arm and the kid hit his elbo instead shattering the bone, it took 4 ops to fix his elbo and almost lost his arm at one point as the bone was so badly broken, the lad was 17 years old and had a criminal record as long as his arm including robbing a OAP at knife point but had still never had custodial, this happened in the febuary and the police all but begged us not to press charges till the August he would then be 18 and tried as an adult, which we did other wise he would have walked again to terrorise another day, from the febuary to the August we had 2 cars stolen by him, i actually saw him drive off in the one thro the window, and my daughter was beaten up by 3 lads who just turned out to be his cousins as well as having his mum turn up at my door and threatern me if i didnt drop the charges, when i reported all this to the police i was told to drop it or i would be seen as picking on him and the case would be thrown out of court If under 18s can get away with pulling knifes on old people and robbing them and putting people in hospital they not going to do much about a bunch of ,kids picking on another kid There needs to be tougher laws on teens but sadly there isnt " Sorry to hear about your husband etc.. We hope it doesn't get as bad as that for our son. Got to agree with you tho, kids need tougher laws and bloody disaplin needs to come back.. BRING BACK THE CANE!!! A good hiding never did me any harm and if there is disaplin then respect will soon follow...( just to add i don't mean give kids a beating, just incase there's any anti smacker out there ) Kids are untouchable now, when i was a lad we had a village copper and if he caught you upto no good he'd give you a thick ear and if you told your parents you'd normaly get another lol Oh the good old days... lol Thanks again everyone... | |||
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"Times have just changed im afraid When i was a kid i wouldnt have dared cheeked of an adult and if you did you didnt dare go home after " I got smacked by my parents if I did something wrong. I got caned at school if I did something wrong, and smacked at home again. And don't forget the neighbours who were good snitches to your parents ! I don't think I've turned out too bad It appears to me, that stopping corporal punishment in schools, however many years ago it happened, has directly or indirectly led us to this situation. My dad used to be a copper, and he tells the story of two lads found graffiti painting a bus stop in the 1960's. He hauled them off to there homes, and with their parents permission, it was decided that the punishment be the lads had to clean their mess up. One lad got cocky, and said he was away on holiday, but my dad turned round and said your half will be waiting ! The bus shelter was cleaned ! When I was deciding what job to do, being a copper was the only one my dad said he would stand against me for, as this old style of policing had been lost long ago. I realise there will be those who don't agree with corporal punishment, but in my eyes, we've managed to survive as a species so far with it !! | |||
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" Do children have parents ? Why are schools expected to punish people for what they do outside of school?" Probably not clear enough, fingers connected directly to brain cell ! Can't remember if it was banned in schools first, or banned everywhere. Happy to put my hand up and acknowledge my ignorance on it's introduction. | |||
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"some times and i dont condone violence but the only way is when confronted if you have to stand and fight as i did one day , go for the ring leader and give them all you've got . once the little minions see there leader getting a good hiding they soon backed off for me . this is not the right thing to do but sometimes the only thing . unless there are a few people who are much tougher that your son or your self knows that would have a quiet scarey word with these kids . pitty i wasnt closer to you i would do it my self . i hate bulleys" This is easier said than done. I have whopped a few bullies in my time but only because I am tall and athletic and me mam made me wear clodoppers!!! They would probably be less likely to pick on two or more children together. But this can still happen. When it happened to my boys they rallied some of the local kids and set up a decoy who made the biggest bulley chase him into the bushes, where all the other kids were waiting. It may not be the ideal solution but short of re-education whole estates of families it is a quick fix. | |||
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" Do children have parents ? Why are schools expected to punish people for what they do outside of school?" i went to a private school where they was very strict, if we had the school uniform on we was representing the school and if we did anything wrong outside school hours in that uniform the school did punish us, even if it was 9 o clock at night if we had that uniform on we was expected to act in a way to make the school proud and if you didnt you had them to answer to | |||
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" Do children have parents ? Why are schools expected to punish people for what they do outside of school? i went to a private school where they was very strict, if we had the school uniform on we was representing the school and if we did anything wrong outside school hours in that uniform the school did punish us, even if it was 9 o clock at night if we had that uniform on we was expected to act in a way to make the school proud and if you didnt you had them to answer to" My school was excally the same, we was not even allowed out at luch time incase ne of us "cocked" up. U didnt go to school in NW London by ne chance? | |||
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