FabSwingers.com forum: What gets your goat?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What annoys you?

For me, people chewing with their mouth open and middle lane hoggers should both be shot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The supermarket experience as a whole.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who stand in awkward places like in a supermarket aisle.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

The c*nt who keeps parking his piece of shit Kia, just overhanging my drive.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

People who randomly stop in a busy thoroughfare when other pedestrians are trying to get past. Also James "fucking" Marsters of buffy fame.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who don't wipe down the counter after spilling sugar all over it.

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

People with no manners

Drivers who park at the end of my road right on the bend.... on both sides of the road!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A t-rex

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"A t-rex"
Aaah see what you did there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those who walk on the Middle of the stairwell.

..and pomegranates.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

"People who stand in awkward places like in a supermarket aisle. "

Especially when they just stand there for ages staring at the shelf like they're in a trance. Or when they keep picking whatever it is up that they're looking at, studiously reading the label, putting it back down, thinking about it then picking it up and reading the label again. JUST PUT IT IN YOUR TROLLEY OR FECKIN' MOVE!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who dare say no to me when im actually doing them a favour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Drivers that drive 10mph under the speed limit everywhere!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and people who dont know the width of their car

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Eating with their mouths open

Tourists in London during rush hour who just stop the minute they step off the escalator.... and block the exit

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

[Removed by poster at 13/05/19 16:41:19]

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Rude people

Arrogant men

Dishonesty

Show offs

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Silly Snapchat filters. Why do so called adults insist on making themselves into cartoon characters? It must be very disappointing for the people they meet when they discover they are not sporting bunny ears, dog noses or large glasses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Eating with their mouths open

Tourists in London during rush hour who just stop the minute they step off the escalator.... and block the exit "
i got on and of the same train 6 times first time i got on those crazy trains u got

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Eating with their mouths open

Tourists in London during rush hour who just stop the minute they step off the escalator.... and block the exit i got on and of the same train 6 times first time i got on those crazy trains u got"

They can be a bit confusing to visitors, but feel free to ask we are not all southern rudies

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I've just driven home, it's 16° according to my watch, 18° according to my car

Either way. It's warm.

So why have I just walked into my house to find the heating on?

Thermostat on 30°

That really gets my chuffin goat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Eating with their mouths open

Tourists in London during rush hour who just stop the minute they step off the escalator.... and block the exit i got on and of the same train 6 times first time i got on those crazy trains u got

They can be a bit confusing to visitors, but feel free to ask we are not all southern rudies "
i gave up after the first 2 funny looks i must have had my trout costume that day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People with no common sense.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Messy eaters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your knickers elastic goes but you don't notice until you're out of the house and have to spend all day sticking your hand in your jeans and pulling them up.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"People with no common sense."

people who zap your energy

Negative people

Selfish folk

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"When your knickers elastic goes but you don't notice until you're out of the house and have to spend all day sticking your hand in your jeans and pulling them up. "

Even worse if they've been in the dryer and theres a pair of knickers stuck in the leg that you don't notice straight away x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooh when people pee over public toilets and don't clean it up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When u go for a morning hug with your little boy and he nuts u on the nose by accident

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"When your knickers elastic goes but you don't notice until you're out of the house and have to spend all day sticking your hand in your jeans and pulling them up. "

and thankful your wearing jeans

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

My goatherd is paid very well to get my goats. The miniature ones who mow the roof of my turf roofed sex den are a bugger for escaping and chewing the neighbours guinea pig complex.

He is a 9th generation Wakandan goatherd and also adept as my alpaca whisperer

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

"Eating with their mouths open

Tourists in London during rush hour who just stop the minute they step off the escalator.... and block the exit i got on and of the same train 6 times first time i got on those crazy trains u got

They can be a bit confusing to visitors, but feel free to ask we are not all southern rudies i gave up after the first 2 funny looks i must have had my trout costume that day

Well I can only apologise for the ignorance and bad manners of some of my fellow Londoners, or you were unlucky enough to pick other visitors to the capital

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Virtually any billy goat that sends her a hornpic or has an opening message complementing her neck bell.

It's the kids I feel sorry for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cyclists that are a menace on the road blocking the traffic.

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

Lip smackers when there eating

Middle lane drivers

People who say there hard workers (usually telling you that when your working hard yourself and they are stood there watching)

Taxis

And that's just my Monday....wait till the end of the week, the list will be longer

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

People who take forever to set off when traffic lights go green

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

The supermarket checkout person who analyses your basket.

Pulled peas, vegan dairy spread.

Mighty meat feast pizza???

There is more than 1 person lives in my house - and fuck off anyway just give me my condoms, aubergines and coconut oil I’m in a hurry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who say on route instead of en route.

People who say out fresco instead of alfresco.

People who say expresso instead of espresso.

Bad manners.

Arrogance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Eating with their mouths open

Tourists in London during rush hour who just stop the minute they step off the escalator.... and block the exit i got on and of the same train 6 times first time i got on those crazy trains u got

They can be a bit confusing to visitors, but feel free to ask we are not all southern rudies i gave up after the first 2 funny looks i must have had my trout costume that day

Well I can only apologise for the ignorance and bad manners of some of my fellow Londoners, or you were unlucky enough to pick other visitors to the capital

"
no need theres miserable shits up here too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who sniff up and make that disgusting sound!!

Christians who won’t answer my questions.

Kids who squeal for no feckin reason.

Vague statuses for attention on Facebook

Sky movies “a new film everyday” but only 1 per month worth watching.

People who think their professions are THE most important

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes! Pointlessly squealing kids!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People who say on route instead of en route.

People who say out fresco instead of alfresco.

People who say expresso instead of espresso.

Bad manners.

Arrogance."

Omg yes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't own a goat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People without simple manners. Please and thank you go a long way...

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Snotty noses.

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By *ily Con CarneTV/TS
over a year ago

Cornwall

Those tags that they put on loaves of bread that you can never peel apart

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"I've just driven home, it's 16° according to my watch, 18° according to my car

Either way. It's warm.

So why have I just walked into my house to find the heating on?

Thermostat on 30°

That really gets my chuffin goat

I’m cold and about to put the heating on

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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago

folkestone

Checkout people who don't acknowledge you when it's you're turn in the queue and then don't tell you how much the total is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cyclists who do not obey the highway code..

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Aside from the expected ones like bigots and rude people etc a few driving related ones:

Drivers that think it's ok to park their car across two spaces in a supermarket car park and usually in a space close to the store entrance - I get that you don't want your nice shiny Audi/BMW/Merc to get dinked but if you're that precious about it park at the other end of the car park where there are always lots of free spaces.

Drivers that park in disabled/parent and child spaces despite not having a disability/child.

Drivers that speed up behind you flashing headlights and tailgating, expecting you to move out of the way, despite the fact you're already doing 80 and steadily overtaking cars on the inside lane.

Drivers in traffic who resolutely edge forward to prevent you getting out of a side turning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those tags that they put on loaves of bread that you can never peel apart"

Yes!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Those tags that they put on loaves of bread that you can never peel apart"
tags on boxers that make ya back itch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Farmer Giles, he's very nice like that.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

When it's raining and you're walking down the street in a town or city, and a building has an overhang so it gives you a bit of shelter from the rain as you're walking

People with fucking umbrellas up also walking under there, so I have to step out into the rain.

YOU HAVE AN UMBRELLA!!!!

mobile shelter and those little pokey things at the end could take your eye out

Yes I hate umbrellas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Idiots that’s feel the need to open there mouth about things they don’t understand which ends with me getting in trouble for hitting them lol

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

The fucking troll under the bridge keeps trying.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"The fucking troll under the bridge keeps trying."
lol lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The fucking troll under the bridge keeps trying."
cliperty clop cliperty clop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chefs in Jamaica?

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

People who steal my goat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Starting a sentence with “so...”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuckers grrrrrrrrrrrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Automated telephone lines

Places that only take card payments

Some cyclists who hog the road

Self checkouts

Whoever designed some of the public toilets where there isnt enough room to swing a cat

Designer clothes because they're all made for little Chinese people

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By *iss behaving2019Woman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Cyclists who think FOOTpaths and Pedrestrian areas are their domain while totally ignoring cycle paths!

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By *opsy71Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

People who say pacific instead of specific grrrrrrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loud chewing (misphionia) and trouble makers I could say more but I'm refraining

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By *opsy71Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Nigel Farage and Donald Trump

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Patronising people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nigel Farage and Donald Trump "

All day every day, pair of bell ends

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Unexpected item in bagging area

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By *opsy71Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

People who start on a subject and then say oh but I can't tell you.

Don't feckin mention it in the first place then ya nobber!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

World book day, when the kids tell me the day before that they need to go to school dressed up as a book character. £30 later they are all dressed up and i have money left to buy them a book.

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Old people shopping on a weekend and taking up the whole pavement. You have the rest of the week to shop, just get out of my way.

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By *opsy71Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Nigel Farage and Donald Trump

All day every day, pair of bell ends "

I'm starting to think they are the same person

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

"World book day, when the kids tell me the day before that they need to go to school dressed up as a book character. £30 later they are all dressed up and i have money left to buy them a book."

Who the feck came up with this stupid idea? Was never a thing when I grew up and I still read books daily on the train.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Old people shopping on a weekend and taking up the whole pavement. You have the rest of the week to shop, just get out of my way. "
They have a right to never mind get out of your way old age comes to us all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Real life getting between me and my pray

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nigel Farage and Donald Trump

All day every day, pair of bell ends

I'm starting to think they are the same person "

They have the same master

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Real life getting between me and my pray"

Play or pray.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Amazon boxes the size of a sofa when all you bought was keyring.

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By *opsy71Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Old people shopping on a weekend and taking up the whole pavement. You have the rest of the week to shop, just get out of my way. They have a right to never mind get out of your way old age comes to us all

Totally agree walk round them it's hardly the end of the world they've earnt the right to shop whenever they feckin want too get over it!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Totally agree walk round them it's hardly the end of the world they've earnt the right to shop whenever they feckin want too get over it! "

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By *opsy71Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Nigel Farage and Donald Trump

All day every day, pair of bell ends

I'm starting to think they are the same person

They have the same master"

Do they? Let's assassinate them! No mercy for bell ends

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Very few things get my goat. Life is too short. Aside from those Meercat adverts (closely followed by the new Forette ads), the Conservative Party, Joe Pasquale, Cottage Cheese and not knowing whether my commas should come before or after the closed brackets!!!

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Very few things get my goat. Life is too short. Aside from those Meercat adverts (closely followed by the new Forette ads), the Conservative Party, Joe Pasquale, Cottage Cheese and not knowing whether my commas should come before or after the closed brackets!!! "

And my inability to spell.

Florette and merecat/Meercat?

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

Great list. Although I like cottage cheese - just ate a pot with beetroot and horseradish condiment. Nom.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

"Old people shopping on a weekend and taking up the whole pavement. You have the rest of the week to shop, just get out of my way. "

Rude

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"Real life getting between me and my pray

Play or pray."

Prey?

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By *ny1localMan
over a year ago

READING

Drivers who get pissed off that you don't drive at the limit, if I'm running early and want to go slower why not? It's the limit, not compulsory.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree walk round them it's hardly the end of the world they've earnt the right to shop whenever they feckin want too get over it! "

Old people shouldn't be out shopping on the weekend though

I was thinking about pouncing on this one, but you two got here before me.

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By *asilForty77Man
over a year ago

a hundred and sixty of us living in a small shoebox in the middle of the road

People who haven't finished shopping and their stuff is already on the till run off getting what they forgot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Drivers who get pissed off that you don't drive at the limit, if I'm running early and want to go slower why not? It's the limit, not compulsory. "

I hate you. You kill all the joy in driving.

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Totally agree walk round them it's hardly the end of the world they've earnt the right to shop whenever they feckin want too get over it!

Old people shouldn't be out shopping on the weekend though

I was thinking about pouncing on this one, but you two got here before me. "

How do you define old? I'm old! Older than you. My (ex) father in law is 78 and completed the London Marathon a few weeks ago raising 10 grand for a local hospice. You're gonna ban him from shopping over the weekend?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nigel Farage and Donald Trump

All day every day, pair of bell ends

I'm starting to think they are the same person

They have the same master

Do they? Let's assassinate them! No mercy for bell ends"

Putin seems to be pretty well protected

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

Arseholes who call themselves football fans... out of the thousands who arrive here every week, and who are great fun and lovely peoplr...there are a few who insist on kicking our communal door in and pissing all over the close... then get annoyed when I throw water over them to clean up their mess....

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By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

The person who put on Facebook that I sleep around it's bad for my child.

People that speak with food in there mouth spray it all over your meal, then you can eat it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you buy scissors and they come in an oyster pack or have cable ties. Out comes the tool box to get the scissors open.

Ikea with their direction arrows.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"What annoys you?

For me, people chewing with their mouth open and middle lane hoggers should both be shot "

SJW’s

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

Old dogs.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"Old dogs.

When I’m teaching new tricks...

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"Drivers who get pissed off that you don't drive at the limit, if I'm running early and want to go slower why not? It's the limit, not compulsory. "

So no matter that the other drivers may be running late ?

No matter that they may need to be on time by adhering to the limit , and will be late if they get stuck behind someone like you ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Old dogs.

Being taught new tricks x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So now I'm thinking about all the things I hate.

So have to think of something that I absolutely love.

Those hot flannels you get after an Indian Meal. Greatest thing ever.

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By *lan n lesleyCouple
over a year ago

cornwall

You forgot the dick pics that look like cute furry animals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When people don't pronounce their Ts in water or drop litter on the streets or don't clean up after their dog when it does a shit on the street

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 13/05/19 21:19:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Farmers

Potholes

Old people moaning about their state pension

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each to their own but I can't stand it when people talk to their dogs in that pathetic whiny high pitched voice as if they are children...which when it is children is also equally as annoying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 13/05/19 21:19:18]"

When people delete their posts

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By *opsy71Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Russel Howard

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By *opsy71Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Dramas that start halfway through then work backwards

Just tell the story from start to finish ffs!

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By *ambornemanMan
over a year ago

In your town now

Brexit the government women who can't make there mind up

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By *opsy71Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Brexit the government women who can't make there mind up

I'll treat that one with the contempt it deserves

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By *ambornemanMan
over a year ago

In your town now

"Brexit the government women who can't make there mind up

I'll treat that one with the contempt it deserves "
haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arriving for an appointment early or on time, only to be kept waiting an hour.

Trying to find the start of the mofo sellotape.

Clingfilm.

People.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slack jawed adults who walk around with one hand shoved down the front of their track suit pants

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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago

A world all of his own

Idiots who drive up the slip road/on road to motorways or fast A roads at 30 bloody mph! Morons, put your foot down a bit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I protect my goat,,,DONT TOUCH IT,,YA WIERDO

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By *ingcom76Man
over a year ago

cheltenham

When people use more letters than necessary for lol. Eg looool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BREATHERS.....!

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"BREATHERS.....!"

Why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People who allow their children to interrupt adult conversation ( this actually makes me stabby

)

People who say "I'm never doing/ going to XY or Z again , then proceed to do it/ go there.

Cyclists on pavements. I don't care how old you are ITS AGAINST THE LAW!!

People who complain that this site is rubbish when they have put zero effort into their profile.

Bad day today, can you tell?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Itchy balls

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Itchy balls"
wash em then.

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