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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep, you read that right: vagina beer.
Brewers in Poland have developed a fermented drop made from the vaginal lactic acid of beautiful women.
The Warsaw brewery - called 'The Order Of Yoni' - launched the lager in the Polish city of Katowice on July 28.
"Imagine the woman of your dreams, your object of desire," the beer's website compells us.
"Her charm, her sensuality, her passion… Try how she tastes, feel her smell, hear her voice…"
Hold up - her charm? I find Dame Judy Dench charming, but with all due respect to the icon, the last way in which I want to indulge my fondness for her is by knocking the froth off the top of a coldie that's been anywhere near her lady garden.
"Now imagine her giving you a passionate massage and gently whispering anything you'd like to hear," the site continues, and now I feel like I'm having phone sex with a laptop screen. "Now free your fantasies and imagine all of that can be closed in a bottle of beer. A golden drink brewed with her lure and grace and flavoured with wild instincts. Imagine a beer which every sip offers a rendez-vous with this hot woman of your dreams… she hugs you and kisses you gently, looking straight into your eyes… How much would you give for such a beer?"
Wojtek Mann is the founder of the brewery, and he helped lay out exactly how the beverage is made. Mann described the process by which a gynaecologist took smears from their two 'hot' models, Paulina and Monika, and had the lactic acid bacteria isolated in a lab.
The website further explains the process... sort of: 'The secret of the beer lies in her vagina. Using hi-tech microbiological techniques, we isolate, examine and prepare lactic acid bacteria from the vagina of a unique woman.'
If you are keen for a taste test of vagina beer, it'll set you back 25 zloty ($AUD 9.20), as well as a ticket to Poland - so it might be worth waiting to see if it goes global first.
My partner is called Monika and is Polish too.
Bottoms up everyone."
If your gf is Polish, just make your own. Surely it would taste even better and save you a plane ticket |