FabSwingers.com forum: First Message: Genuine or Forward?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all,

A topic that nobody seems to discuss: When sending the first message to someone, do you usually give a genuine message as in 28yrs, 6ft blah blah or very forward as in I would love to...

I guess it depends on who it is to? Some may appreciate the genuine message or think its boring whereas the latter could excite someone or find you deplorable?

What's your approach guys & girls?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t message anyone first anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like forward messages not at first anyway

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Hi all,

A topic that nobody seems to discuss: When sending the first message to someone, do you usually give a genuine message as in 28yrs, 6ft blah blah or very forward as in I would love to...

I guess it depends on who it is to? Some may appreciate the genuine message or think its boring whereas the latter could excite someone or find you deplorable?

What's your approach guys & girls? "

I don’t send initial messages, I don’t need to I’m a woman!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say nice tits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very rarely message first, but when I do it's because I think their profile has something that I a able to offer. The message is always tailored to the recipient, starts with basic pleasantries and normally a compliment regarding their profile. I then give a brief description of what I'm looking for and invite them to read my profile for a more in depth description. I then close it with parting wish of good luck/enjoy fab and leave it there. Nothing graphic, aggressive, over acertive or over familiar.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lwt me rephrase that then. Ladies, which approach would you prefer from a guy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lwt me rephrase that then. Ladies, which approach would you prefer from a guy?"

A ‘genuine’ message.

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By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Genuine and complimentary from me, the kinda message I would like to receive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suggest you read their profile and tailor the message to fit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally for me if I see

I'm 28 6' blond hair etc I class that as a copy and paste message as those details are what I can see on the persons bio.

I prefer something that maybe mentions something in my bio(not just pics) so I know they have read it and the message is tailored to me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Personally for me if I see

I'm 28 6' blond hair etc I class that as a copy and paste message as those details are what I can see on the persons bio.

I prefer something that maybe mentions something in my bio(not just pics) so I know they have read it and the message is tailored to me.

Very good point about the whole copy and paste thing

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

If I receive an uninvited “what you want to do to me message” it’s almost certainly ignored. I really dislike those.

V x

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Genuine for me and bonus points if it makes me smile. I like someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously.

Something that shows they've read my profile. No key word inserts mind.

I often think it must be quite difficult to make an impact in just one message. I rarely message first though I appreciate it's not easy for those that do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If I receive an uninvited “what you want to do to me message” it’s almost certainly ignored. I really dislike those.

V x "

Haha that's ridiculous

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"Just say nice tits

Are you Diamond Joe?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Genuine for me and bonus points if it makes me smile. I like someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously.

Something that shows they've read my profile. No key word inserts mind.

I often think it must be quite difficult to make an impact in just one message. I rarely message first though I appreciate it's not easy for those that do."

Very true! I always go for the genuine approach and met some really good people in the past but it seems things have changed recently haha

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Send what you feel and see the reaction.

If I get a non genuine message I block them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lwt me rephrase that then. Ladies, which approach would you prefer from a guy?"

Definitely not a forward one. They make me cringe.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

A bio message (30 6 foot gsoh etc) is almost certainly a copy paste, which I delete.

A fantasy about fucking me is creepy and I'm more likely to block. (and some of them really are creepy)

I prefer engaging with my profile (not just pictures). Why me?

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

I'm a little shy, seriously.

So don't often send initial messages, however when I do they are honest. If I like the sound of the profile or their pictures turn me on I will tell them.

I don't think I could go straight in with the "phworrr, I really want to do x,y and z to you."

Perhaps I'm in the wrong place?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lwt me rephrase that then. Ladies, which approach would you prefer from a guy?

Definitely not a forward one. They make me cringe. "

I can imagine. I think some guys misread the situation and actually think there's such demand for them when its the total opposite-arrogance really.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I'm a little shy, seriously.

So don't often send initial messages, however when I do they are honest. If I like the sound of the profile or their pictures turn me on I will tell them.

I don't think I could go straight in with the "phworrr, I really want to do x,y and z to you."

Perhaps I'm in the wrong place?"

Takes all sorts. I strongly prefer subtlety. More "I see we have common interests" than "I'm gonna bang your back door in oh baby"

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

"I'm a little shy, seriously.

So don't often send initial messages, however when I do they are honest. If I like the sound of the profile or their pictures turn me on I will tell them.

I don't think I could go straight in with the "phworrr, I really want to do x,y and z to you."

Perhaps I'm in the wrong place?

Takes all sorts. I strongly prefer subtlety. More "I see we have common interests" than "I'm gonna bang your back door in oh baby" "

I must be the odd one out on here as I actually do read profiles (the whole thing), and if there is some common interests (hard not to be on here) I will mention it.

How about a gentle tapping on the back door?

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"If I receive an uninvited “what you want to do to me message” it’s almost certainly ignored. I really dislike those.

V x

Haha that's ridiculous "

. I wasn't aware I’d invited your opinion on my own preference.

V x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I'm a little shy, seriously.

So don't often send initial messages, however when I do they are honest. If I like the sound of the profile or their pictures turn me on I will tell them.

I don't think I could go straight in with the "phworrr, I really want to do x,y and z to you."

Perhaps I'm in the wrong place?

Takes all sorts. I strongly prefer subtlety. More "I see we have common interests" than "I'm gonna bang your back door in oh baby"

I must be the odd one out on here as I actually do read profiles (the whole thing), and if there is some common interests (hard not to be on here) I will mention it.

How about a gentle tapping on the back door?

Once I know someone I'm not a "prude" anymore.

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

"..........

How about a gentle tapping on the back door?

Once I know someone I'm not a "prude" anymore. "

Very similar, however I am always concerned about overstepping the boundaries, so although my messages can get very flirty, I never instigate the naughtier messages, but I will join in

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"..........

How about a gentle tapping on the back door?

Once I know someone I'm not a "prude" anymore.

Very similar, however I am always concerned about overstepping the boundaries, so although my messages can get very flirty, I never instigate the naughtier messages, but I will join in

That works for me.

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

"..........

How about a gentle tapping on the back door?

Once I know someone I'm not a "prude" anymore.

Very similar, however I am always concerned about overstepping the boundaries, so although my messages can get very flirty, I never instigate the naughtier messages, but I will join in

That works for me. "

I'm not alone any more

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"..........

How about a gentle tapping on the back door?

Once I know someone I'm not a "prude" anymore.

Very similar, however I am always concerned about overstepping the boundaries, so although my messages can get very flirty, I never instigate the naughtier messages, but I will join in

That works for me. "

Funny and flirty is good as an intro. Then it can get naughtier if that seems the right way to go.

V x

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

"..........

How about a gentle tapping on the back door?

Once I know someone I'm not a "prude" anymore.

Very similar, however I am always concerned about overstepping the boundaries, so although my messages can get very flirty, I never instigate the naughtier messages, but I will join in

That works for me.

Funny and flirty is good as an intro. Then it can get naughtier if that seems the right way to go.

V x "

Agree, I think I'm like that in real life too to be honest.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Really can't imagine ever sending a "forward" first message, would be making a huge assumption that it was welcomed - in fact it's rare I send anything sexual even to people I know well.

As for what's the best type of first message, I don't think there's a one size fits all option, and it's as much about the recipient as it is the sender - on the rare occasions I send completely cold messages (which I actually find quite awkward and clinical personally) I tend to just include a little about me (that isn't on my profile), why I'm writing and why I think we might have things in common, and leave a couple of questions dangling for the recipient to answer if they choose.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"..........

How about a gentle tapping on the back door?

Once I know someone I'm not a "prude" anymore.

Very similar, however I am always concerned about overstepping the boundaries, so although my messages can get very flirty, I never instigate the naughtier messages, but I will join in

That works for me.

Funny and flirty is good as an intro. Then it can get naughtier if that seems the right way to go.

V x

Agree, I think I'm like that in real life too to be honest."

Of course. We all are. I’m constantly surprised that people don’t figure that out

V x

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

"..........

Agree, I think I'm like that in real life too to be honest.

Of course. We all are. I’m constantly surprised that people don’t figure that out

V x "

From what I read some people must be a nightmare in real life, if the speak like they message, straight in with odd, and I do mean odd messages

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