FabSwingers.com forum: Commonality

By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

How important is it?

Do you feel that you need shared interests and loves to bond with someone, that you need to have something to chat and enthuse over? Or is it that opposites attract and that you can indulge in your separate passions and learn from each other?

I realise that I'm offering a binary argument in this but for the sake of my opening question I'm going with it.

Thoughts folks?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Mr N and I are opposites in many ways but share common ground on important things like life goals etc.

Have I answered the question or completely misunderstood?

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

I think the is much to be said for a balance between common interest and differences.

One can be a shared passion... the other can lead to healthy debate ... or learning more about the person

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

We definitely have common interests, but also different interests. Our life goals are the same

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Mr N and I are opposites in many ways but share common ground on important things like life goals etc.

Have I answered the question or completely misunderstood?"

It's a valid response!

I was thinking more in terms of interests and passions though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been stuck in a long relationship with someone who shared none of my passions and had little interest in finding any.

So I don't think I could go back to that. Not looking for an exact match, that'd be boring, but some overlap would be lush.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I've been stuck in a long relationship with someone who shared none of my passions and had little interest in finding any.

So I don't think I could go back to that. Not looking for an exact match, that'd be boring, but some overlap would be lush."

If there's no interest in learning the others interests or sharing them, then yes I'd agree.

I'm more wondering if people look for shared interests from the start.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Yes. I want to have something to talk about. Something to geek out about. I like the shared hobbies. Yes, you should have some different ones but personally, I enjoy talking about the dork stuff.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Yes. I want to have something to talk about. Something to geek out about. I like the shared hobbies. Yes, you should have some different ones but personally, I enjoy talking about the dork stuff. "

If you're expecting someone else to fan girl about DC then you're going to have a hard time...

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By *ingle Beds LassWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

As I am finding out now... there has to be some middle ground otherwise forget it

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Yes. I want to have something to talk about. Something to geek out about. I like the shared hobbies. Yes, you should have some different ones but personally, I enjoy talking about the dork stuff.

If you're expecting someone else to fan girl about DC then you're going to have a hard time... "

I've had a very enjoyable hard time finding someone else who does fan girl, don't worry TM.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funny me and sally have been chatting about this earlier i 100% believe in opposites attract theres more to learn about each other that way only thing we have in common really is each other and our humour and the chemistry between us

Id also say same for me and a lot of my friends too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually have no idea.. don't think I've talked about anything remotely serious with my new toy.. it's more a meeting of odd minds and ridiculous humour. At the moment nothing else matters..

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Funny me and sally have been chatting about this earlier i 100% believe in opposites attract theres more to learn about each other that way only thing we have in common really is each other and our humour and the chemistry between us

Id also say same for me and a lot of my friends too"

Awww! You and Tea Monkey are quite alike.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id also say same for me and a lot of my friends too

Awww! You and Tea Monkey are quite alike. "
hes much much cleverer than me

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Id also say same for me and a lot of my friends too

Awww! You and Tea Monkey are quite alike. hes much much cleverer than me

Nah, that's just a convincing facade.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id also say same for me and a lot of my friends too

Awww! You and Tea Monkey are quite alike. hes much much cleverer than me

Nah, that's just a convincing facade."
shhhhhhhh how fdare u see thru my defence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a degree of common ground is imperative for a relationship, particularly a long term one, but it is also important to have differences. I need my space and own pursuits, as well as things we can share.

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

[Removed by poster at 09/05/19 22:44:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think for me, it's a lot more about differences and what the other person can potentially teach me, how the might grow me as a person....

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think it depends on the nature of the "relationship" - meeting someone at a club, or from here for a purely sex meet, then apart from a shared interest in getting naked and having fun together, not a great deal else is required.

Meeting someone from here to socialise and have fun with, it helps to have some common interests beyond the sexual ones.

A long term relationship I'm not sure I could find an attraction to someone for that sort of relationship without having a lot in common in terms of both shared interests and general outlook on life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually have no idea.. don't think I've talked about anything remotely serious with my new toy.. it's more a meeting of odd minds and ridiculous humour. At the moment nothing else matters.. "

Awwww, you're too cute lol. Toy?????

We talked about Jeremy Kyle earlier, that was some pretty serious shiz!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually have no idea.. don't think I've talked about anything remotely serious with my new toy.. it's more a meeting of odd minds and ridiculous humour. At the moment nothing else matters..

Awwww, you're too cute lol. Toy?????

We talked about Jeremy Kyle earlier, that was some pretty serious shiz!!! "

You're incapable of presenting the geeky adult that you are so it's therefore impossible to translate the reality to the forum!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually have no idea.. don't think I've talked about anything remotely serious with my new toy.. it's more a meeting of odd minds and ridiculous humour. At the moment nothing else matters..

Awwww, you're too cute lol. Toy?????

We talked about Jeremy Kyle earlier, that was some pretty serious shiz!!!

You're incapable of presenting the geeky adult that you are so it's therefore impossible to translate the reality to the forum!

Wait, I'm an adult now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually have no idea.. don't think I've talked about anything remotely serious with my new toy.. it's more a meeting of odd minds and ridiculous humour. At the moment nothing else matters..

Awwww, you're too cute lol. Toy?????

We talked about Jeremy Kyle earlier, that was some pretty serious shiz!!!

You're incapable of presenting the geeky adult that you are so it's therefore impossible to translate the reality to the forum!

Wait, I'm an adult now? "

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I actually have no idea.. don't think I've talked about anything remotely serious with my new toy.. it's more a meeting of odd minds and ridiculous humour. At the moment nothing else matters..

Awwww, you're too cute lol. Toy?????

We talked about Jeremy Kyle earlier, that was some pretty serious shiz!!!

You're incapable of presenting the geeky adult that you are so it's therefore impossible to translate the reality to the forum!

Wait, I'm an adult now?

Aw! Get a room you two!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I actually have no idea.. don't think I've talked about anything remotely serious with my new toy.. it's more a meeting of odd minds and ridiculous humour. At the moment nothing else matters..

Awwww, you're too cute lol. Toy?????

We talked about Jeremy Kyle earlier, that was some pretty serious shiz!!!

You're incapable of presenting the geeky adult that you are so it's therefore impossible to translate the reality to the forum!

Wait, I'm an adult now?

Aw! Get a room you two!

I swear he deliberately makes out he's an idiot on purpose..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you need both. Common interests and seperate ones, to build a healthy foundation. There are core similarities which are deal breakers for me... eg personality and morality issues, but as for intersts in general, a mix is best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has to be a balance between the two.

I like nothing more than to share what I enjoy doing with someone close to me, to be able to talk about things with the same level of enthusiasm and understanding.

However, it’s also good to have separate interests that can be shared occasionally.

Maybe it’s down to being supportive of that person.

I’ll stop waffling now...

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

"Yes. I want to have something to talk about. Something to geek out about. I like the shared hobbies. Yes, you should have some different ones but personally, I enjoy talking about the dork stuff. "

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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Has to be a balance between the two.

I like nothing more than to share what I enjoy doing with someone close to me, to be able to talk about things with the same level of enthusiasm and understanding.

However, it’s also good to have separate interests that can be shared occasionally.

Maybe it’s down to being supportive of that person.

I’ll stop waffling now...

You're not waffling, it makes sense.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I think you can have different interests if you have shared values and a commitment to sharing some things. There has to be something that holds you together (other than rent/mortgage and/or children) otherwise you're just in a house-share.

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