FabSwingers.com forum: Treat them mean, keep them keen!

By *Vine OP Man
over a year ago

The right place

Just wondering if anyone agrees with that saying.

It’s not my style, I’m much more attracted to kindness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope. It's far nicer to be nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never really understood how being mean to another ever works.

What we give we get back, sometimes...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it used to work when I was younger but no chance nowadays.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a tiny way yes. But in that I don't give much away and I like teasing so the other person is a bit unsure and ups their game.

I expect it to be a two-way thing though and at times I'll be the one being played a little to keep my interest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Treat your women like you treat your kite. Get inside them twice a day and take them to heaven and back. Woof, woof!

#Captain the Lord Flasheart...

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By *Vine OP Man
over a year ago

The right place

"Treat your women like you treat your kite. Get inside them twice a day and take them to heaven and back. Woof, woof!

#Captain the Lord Flasheart...

I keep my kite in the boot of my car

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I don't agree with the saying, and I don't actually feel I'm capable of being mean.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't agree with the saying, and I don't actually feel I'm capable of being mean."

Everyone is capable. You just need the right motivation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God no doesn't work with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to say it's rubbish, I do much prefer to be nice but women love the M's.

Mean, Moody, Magnificent, mysterious.... It's the base of many male book and movie characters women fall for over and over again...

They say the two worst things are telling a lie and withholding information.

I don't like the feeling of blatantly lying. You can't tell them how you're feeling too early either or they'll think you're easily won over. So I'll just withhold a bit of information, how or what I'm feeling, or even just make her wait a bit to wonder what I'm doing. May not classify as what you consider "mean" but it does keep her pretty keen...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it works,I don't do it but I've had it done to me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just wondering if anyone agrees with that saying.

It’s not my style, I’m much more attracted to kindness. "

I agree it does work in dynamics between two kinds of people...a manipulative player and an insecure codependant. There's no empathy or respect in treating anyone like this.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I think there is something in it.

If i’m not particularly interested in a guy, and appear a bit nonchalant and aloof, they’re over me like a rash.

As soon as i show interest in a guy they back off and run for the hills. And i’m not OTT in my display of interest either.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I wouldn’t treat anyone that way or tolerate anyone treating me like that either, I cannot abide drama in my life of any sort

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

No, not at all. I grew out of that attitude when is still a teenager.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a tiny way yes. But in that I don't give much away and I like teasing so the other person is a bit unsure and ups their game.

I expect it to be a two-way thing though and at times I'll be the one being played a little to keep my interest. "

I like to keep them on their toes xx

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By *agenta400Woman
over a year ago

All over the shop

"Treat your women like you treat your kite. Get inside them twice a day and take them to heaven and back. Woof, woof!

#Captain the Lord Flasheart...

Stop making me laugh, I’m sick. It hurts!

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By *Vine OP Man
over a year ago

The right place

"I think there is something in it.

If i’m not particularly interested in a guy, and appear a bit nonchalant and aloof, they’re over me like a rash.

As soon as i show interest in a guy they back off and run for the hills. And i’m not OTT in my display of interest either.

So, you’re experience is that playing hard to get works? I think that’s slightly different from being mean though. I guess it’s a spectrum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not my style and if I’m treated that way I lose interest

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"I think there is something in it.

If i’m not particularly interested in a guy, and appear a bit nonchalant and aloof, they’re over me like a rash.

As soon as i show interest in a guy they back off and run for the hills. And i’m not OTT in my display of interest either.

So, you’re experience is that playing hard to get works? I think that’s slightly different from being mean though. I guess it’s a spectrum.

Yes. I guess it’s the chase. Though i don’t get caught often

I’m never mean (not intentionally anyway!).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think those who respond well to being treated badly have low self-esteem and believe that the person is the only one for them. Anyone else wouldn’t stand up for that and leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think those who respond well to being treated badly have low self-esteem and believe that the person is the only one for them. Anyone else wouldn’t stand up for that and leave. "

True x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God no, had years of that. Much prefer nice x

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

Treat em mean ....and you're a fuckin immature knob so I'm outta here. Less of a ring to it but it's what I've found to be true

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By *Vine OP Man
over a year ago

The right place

"Treat em mean ....and you're a fuckin immature knob so I'm outta here. Less of a ring to it but it's what I've found to be true"

You should write jingles! Lol

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

No, if I'm interested in someone then I let them know and I expect reciprocation if they feel the same. Anyone treating me like that would very quickly have me lose interest.

We're meant to be adults, I don't do games like that.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"Treat em mean ....and you're a fuckin immature knob so I'm outta here. Less of a ring to it but it's what I've found to be true

You should write jingles! Lol "

I've thought of applying for a job to make birthday cards. I just know I have da skills.

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

Nah, if I think someone’s being mean, losing interest, playing games, then I lose interest.

Im straight up. I like to know the score. Don’t care what the score is. Just like to know what I’m dealing with.

Lex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Teasing and generating intrigue or deliberate confusion vs being cruel and twatty. It's all relative to the target audience and a very difficult thing to nail every time innit...

....plus some needy ppl will always see what they want (simply because that's what they want) regardless, again target audience related....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope. We’re not at school. I’m far too old for games and players. If I suspect that then I’m gone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Teasing and generating intrigue or deliberate confusion vs being cruel and twatty. It's all relative to the target audience and a very difficult thing to nail every time innit...

....plus some needy ppl will always see what they want (simply because that's what they want) regardless, again target audience related.... "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not with me.

I will only take so much or so many ouchie moments before I'm done. Believe me I learned the hard way that I have an "only so many tears per person allowance"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nah, if I think someone’s being mean, losing interest, playing games, then I lose interest.

Im straight up. I like to know the score. Don’t care what the score is. Just like to know what I’m dealing with.

Lex"

Exactly.

Anything else is a falsehood and that's not fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah.. I'm a say what you see kinda person. If I like someone I'll say it and I expect the same in return. Can't be arsed with the whole game thing. I'd rather just deal with facts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tried nice,I didn't like it

I tried mean,too exhausting

I find it best just to ignore people.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Nah.. I'm a say what you see kinda person. If I like someone I'll say it and I expect the same in return. Can't be arsed with the whole game thing. I'd rather just deal with facts. "

Exactly, I'm an adult, treat me like one.

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

I don't see the point in toying with someone's emotions or bein deliberately mean. Treat others as you would expect to be treated .... then again I'm far too nice and people tend to try take the piss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Treat your women like you treat your kite. Get inside them twice a day and take them to heaven and back. Woof, woof!

#Captain the Lord Flasheart...

Stop making me laugh, I’m sick. It hurts! "

Lock your significant other and your dog in the boot of your car. Let them out after 8 hours and see which one is still

leased to see you!...

..and I hope you feel better soon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always been attracted to kindness and care. If they are the type to treat someone mean to keep them keen, they don't even register for me. I've always gone for the good guys

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Well anecdotal but so many of the women in my life over the years have been glued to complete bastards who treat them so poorly. I mean it's scary how I see the same old story repeating over and over again. Yet they will not leave and say but them love them. Some of them never wake up and smell the coffee. If they do it's often many many years down the line, years wasted. So it seems a true saying sometimes. However I think these guys success is more to do with a woman's low self esteem, low self image and attachment issuses mixed with a caring nature than it is to treating them mean.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not in me to be mean especially to women. However if someone treats me badly they soon know I’ve got the hump def not a door mat

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Just wondering if anyone agrees with that saying.

It’s not my style, I’m much more attracted to kindness. "

Mean people get left behind.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Personally I think it's a phrase used by men who also say "nice guys always come last" and women who don't think relationships are about getting one over on your partner.

I think it's codswallop myself

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By *icetouch83Man
over a year ago

swansea

"Just wondering if anyone agrees with that saying.

It’s not my style, I’m much more attracted to kindness.

Mean people get left behind."

I wouldn't be mean to you

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

Treat people the way you'd expect to be treated

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Treat people the way you'd expect to be treated

Exactly.

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Just wondering if anyone agrees with that saying.

It’s not my style, I’m much more attracted to kindness.

Mean people get left behind.

I wouldn't be mean to you

Good decision!

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

I don’t think you should treat anyone mean but I also think you should take any nonsense either, I’ve found I’m most of my better relationships I’ve had to say what my terms are and negotiation happens

It’s easy to rush in without thinking and you might find life horrendous and terrible unequal so better to sort out behaviour before hand

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

Don’t agree with the saying at all - but someone has their hook in me and they know exactly when to tug the line to keep me biting

Infuriatingly hot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never really heard of this concept but it does remind me of a time when I was in my mid teens. I was very sweet on a girl and used to pursue her relentlessly (in a nice way!) - bought her flowers, chocolates all that kind of thing. She kept me hanging and never committed to a date, but I think that's what made me want her more. Then one day I decided she wasn't worth it so I switched my attentions to another girl and stopped contacting the first girl. After a couple of weeks the first girl was at my door, and asking me on a date. I said no, and she kept pursuing me until I relented. It was the start of a great 3 year relationship and she told me during that time that the only reason she came back was that I'd stopped "wooing" her and that my lack of interest had piqued hers.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Any man on my life who has treated me meanly has made me very keen. Keen to kick his sorry arse in to touch.

I don't have time for game playing, strategies or mucking about. If you like me act like you do, if you don't clear off.

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

"She kept me hanging and never committed to a date, but I think that's what made me want her more."

This 100%..... Need to go cold turkey on contact soon.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

It seems to have some merit.

A lot want negative emotions from the guy. They want him to be jealous, to argue with them over small things, to control them to some degree.

I have been dumped over and over again for not showing negative emotions, they say a lack of negative emotions means you dont care, if you cared you would get jealous, and get angry.

A lot of them date an asshole. The asshole is jealous, controlling, and probably slightly abusive. He spends his time telling them that he loves them, and that he is only doing the bad things because he loves her.

Instead of telling this guy "Bullshit you're just an insecure guy who is a bit of a dick", they lie to themselves and tell themselves he really does love them.

They lie to themselves so much that when they get to a guy like me, and they do something like chat to a guy infront of me and I don't lose the cool, they think "oh he doesnt really care, if he did he would turn a bit abusive".

Thats been my experience anyway. I'm sure its not all women, but it seems to be a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She kept me hanging and never committed to a date, but I think that's what made me want her more.

This 100%..... Need to go cold turkey on contact soon. "

You’re being breadcrumbed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most definitely not

kindness goes along way

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"It seems to have some merit.

A lot want negative emotions from the guy. They want him to be jealous, to argue with them over small things, to control them to some degree.

I have been dumped over and over again for not showing negative emotions, they say a lack of negative emotions means you dont care, if you cared you would get jealous, and get angry.

Instead of telling this guy "Bullshit you're just an insecure guy who is a bit of a dick", they lie to themselves and tell themselves he really does love them.

Thats been my experience anyway. I'm sure its not all women, but it seems to be a lot."

I have noticed some women like this its a sign of a lack of emotional maturity and low self esteem iny opinión.

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

"She kept me hanging and never committed to a date, but I think that's what made me want her more.

This 100%..... Need to go cold turkey on contact soon.

You’re being breadcrumbed "

Not quite - playtime has been great, just not enough from my end and she knows it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I am treating them mean, it's because I'm not interested and being polite is not working

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She kept me hanging and never committed to a date, but I think that's what made me want her more.

This 100%..... Need to go cold turkey on contact soon.

You’re being breadcrumbed

Not quite - playtime has been great, just not enough from my end and she knows it

"
ah ok I misinterpreted your posts

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

"She kept me hanging and never committed to a date, but I think that's what made me want her more.

This 100%..... Need to go cold turkey on contact soon.

You’re being breadcrumbed

Not quite - playtime has been great, just not enough from my end and she knows it

ah ok I misinterpreted your posts"

My fault.... just re read and it does sound like that tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She kept me hanging and never committed to a date, but I think that's what made me want her more.

This 100%..... Need to go cold turkey on contact soon.

You’re being breadcrumbed

Not quite - playtime has been great, just not enough from my end and she knows it

ah ok I misinterpreted your posts

My fault.... just re read and it does sound like that tbh

"
I’m glad you think that too...:

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By *Vine OP Man
over a year ago

The right place

It’s good to see that the vast majority favour kindness and openness.

Well done forumites!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried it as a boy but it doesnt suit me seems a bit sly

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

It has nothing to do with being mean rather assertive which can be perceive as mean.

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By *rs Naughty PillowsWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

Always treat someone the way you would like to be treated

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"Always treat someone the way you would like to be treated"

What if someone like to be treated like a masochist.

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By *rs Naughty PillowsWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

"Always treat someone the way you would like to be treated

What if someone like to be treated like a masochist.

Each to their own, but that’s not for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t agree, if that is the case, they have issues haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely not.

Kindness is far more attractive.

Saying that though - I seem to be drawn to people that dint want me

I'm either a masochist or just an idiot!

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

It’s good to be nice but in saying that if both parties are doing the same it can be fun

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

"Absolutely not.

Kindness is far more attractive.

Saying that though - I seem to be drawn to people that dint want me

I'm either a masochist or just an idiot!"

Join the club

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