FabSwingers.com forum: Avoiding Exes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For those who have exes on bad terms, do you still avoid going to certain places in fear of bumping into them again?

Even though it's been over 2 and a half years since my last relationship, I still avoid going to Blackpool in fear of bumping into my ex.

If I was to go to Blackpool, it would be to Pleasure Beach and then straight back. Anywhere else is a no go zone for me.

The reason why is because I don't want to have the confidence I've gained over the past two years to be thrown back in my face and have someone I don't want back in my life.

I want to keep it in the past where it belongs and if it means staying away from Blackpool, it's a price worth paying.

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Jesus pal she’s left a bad impression. I have to say though, if it keeps you out of Blackpool she’s done you a favour lol.

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

Sorry to hear that. I wouldn't let anyone keep me from going to places. Again Blackpool is not all that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that. I wouldn't let anyone keep me from going to places. Again Blackpool is not all that"

I agree. Like I said, Pleasure Beach is the only place in Blackpool I feel ok with going to. The rest of Blackpool is not worth going to as its gone downhill for quiet a long while.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I don't, although it's exceptionally unlikely that I'd see them.

At this stage it'd be almost fun to see them, because I have changed a lot, in a good way. They'd be shocked.

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

"Sorry to hear that. I wouldn't let anyone keep me from going to places. Again Blackpool is not all that

I agree. Like I said, Pleasure Beach is the only place in Blackpool I feel ok with going to. The rest of Blackpool is not worth going to as its gone downhill for quiet a long while."

Aw chin up hun. Concentrate on yourself and don't give her another thought x

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By *en-xxxMan
over a year ago

coventry

I split up with my ex in 2008..... thankfully haven’t seen the bitch in 10 years. Wouldn’t mind a quick shag like old times tho lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that. I wouldn't let anyone keep me from going to places. Again Blackpool is not all that

I agree. Like I said, Pleasure Beach is the only place in Blackpool I feel ok with going to. The rest of Blackpool is not worth going to as its gone downhill for quiet a long while.

Aw chin up hun. Concentrate on yourself and don't give her another thought x"

I intend to. She is not worth wasting my breath over. I have good friends on here who have helped me find a better life and I would give them up for anything.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's been so long since I split up with anyone that I doubt we'd recognise each other

. I don't avoid anywhere for that reason.

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By *carlet_woman_xxWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

"Sorry to hear that. I wouldn't let anyone keep me from going to places. Again Blackpool is not all that

I agree. Like I said, Pleasure Beach is the only place in Blackpool I feel ok with going to. The rest of Blackpool is not worth going to as its gone downhill for quiet a long while.

Aw chin up hun. Concentrate on yourself and don't give her another thought x

I intend to. She is not worth wasting my breath over. I have good friends on here who have helped me find a better life and I would give them up for anything."

That's sweet. There are alot of nice people on here and glades they've helped you. Be strong hun

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that. I wouldn't let anyone keep me from going to places. Again Blackpool is not all that

I agree. Like I said, Pleasure Beach is the only place in Blackpool I feel ok with going to. The rest of Blackpool is not worth going to as its gone downhill for quiet a long while.

Aw chin up hun. Concentrate on yourself and don't give her another thought x

I intend to. She is not worth wasting my breath over. I have good friends on here who have helped me find a better life and I wouldn't give them up for anything.

That's sweet. There are alot of nice people on here and glades they've helped you. Be strong hun"

Thanks. I always said that if it weren't for them, I probably wouldn't be here so my friends have basically saved my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Modified my break ups have been fairly amicable although that my be down to my own desire to avoid drama and conflict. My most recent ex I still bup into occasionally in clubs and i like that we have a catch up.

I've got ime ex who hates me and it was a bit awkward th time she was at VA although she was making such a point of iniring me it ended up quite comical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never had any exes.... Never really had a relationship before So I'm good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck it!

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

I would avoid mine like the plague, only because it reminds me how stupid I was in the first place ....no other reason...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would avoid mine like the plague, only because it reminds me how stupid I was in the first place ....no other reason... "

I felt like that at one point.

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

"I would avoid mine like the plague, only because it reminds me how stupid I was in the first place ....no other reason...

I felt like that at one point."

Always think, onwards and upwards....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would avoid mine like the plague, only because it reminds me how stupid I was in the first place ....no other reason...

I felt like that at one point.

Always think, onwards and upwards...."

Always have and always will.

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

"I would avoid mine like the plague, only because it reminds me how stupid I was in the first place ....no other reason...

I felt like that at one point.

Always think, onwards and upwards....

Always have and always will."

And losing Blackpool isn't such a lose is it?

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

"I would avoid mine like the plague, only because it reminds me how stupid I was in the first place ....no other reason...

I felt like that at one point.

Always think, onwards and upwards....

Always have and always will.

And losing Blackpool isn't such a lose is it?

*Loss

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By *heIcebreakersCouple
over a year ago

Cramlington

"For those who have exes on bad terms, do you still avoid going to certain places in fear of bumping into them again?

Even though it's been over 2 and a half years since my last relationship, I still avoid going to Blackpool in fear of bumping into my ex.

If I was to go to Blackpool, it would be to Pleasure Beach and then straight back. Anywhere else is a no go zone for me.

The reason why is because I don't want to have the confidence I've gained over the past two years to be thrown back in my face and have someone I don't want back in my life.

I want to keep it in the past where it belongs and if it means staying away from Blackpool, it's a price worth paying."
I've effectively brought up a child with my ex - shared care and so on - but if she were in a pub and I was on a night out I'd walk out. In that regard you are not alone. However, I'm also aware that if I were in a pub and she walked in, she'd probably turn around and walk out - it's just how we are. So you're not alone, but maybe you;re making too much of this - lots of us manage our lives to keep the difficulties in our past.

Mr Icebreaker

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would avoid mine like the plague, only because it reminds me how stupid I was in the first place ....no other reason...

I felt like that at one point.

Always think, onwards and upwards....

Always have and always will.

And losing Blackpool isn't such a lose is it?

*Loss"

Nope. Like I said, Blackpool has been downhill for a long while. Its almost run down plus the illuminations are not what they used to be either.

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

"I would avoid mine like the plague, only because it reminds me how stupid I was in the first place ....no other reason...

I felt like that at one point.

Always think, onwards and upwards....

Always have and always will.

And losing Blackpool isn't such a lose is it?

*Loss

Nope. Like I said, Blackpool has been downhill for a long while. Its almost run down plus the illuminations are not what they used to be either."

No great loss then......happy days

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Mine seem to find me. Usually when i’m looking like a bag of shite! And they come over to say hello!

I wouldn’t avoid going somewhere though OP, bask in your new confidence!

Onwards and upwards!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would avoid mine like the plague, only because it reminds me how stupid I was in the first place ....no other reason...

I felt like that at one point.

Always think, onwards and upwards....

Always have and always will.

And losing Blackpool isn't such a lose is it?

*Loss

Nope. Like I said, Blackpool has been downhill for a long while. Its almost run down plus the illuminations are not what they used to be either.

No great loss then......happy days "

Yep. I'll be visiting Great Yarmouth while I'm on holiday which starts on Friday and I've seen photos on what the coast is like at night and it looks amazing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mine seem to find me. Usually when i’m looking like a bag of shite! And they come over to say hello!

I wouldn’t avoid going somewhere though OP, bask in your new confidence!

Onwards and upwards!!"

Indeed and I shall keep my confidence up and keep on smiling

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

"I would avoid mine like the plague, only because it reminds me how stupid I was in the first place ....no other reason...

I felt like that at one point.

Always think, onwards and upwards....

Always have and always will.

And losing Blackpool isn't such a lose is it?

*Loss

Nope. Like I said, Blackpool has been downhill for a long while. Its almost run down plus the illuminations are not what they used to be either.

No great loss then......happy days

Yep. I'll be visiting Great Yarmouth while I'm on holiday which starts on Friday and I've seen photos on what the coast is like at night and it looks amazing."

Arhhhhh lovely.....enjoy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would avoid mine like the plague, only because it reminds me how stupid I was in the first place ....no other reason...

I felt like that at one point.

Always think, onwards and upwards....

Always have and always will.

And losing Blackpool isn't such a lose is it?

*Loss

Nope. Like I said, Blackpool has been downhill for a long while. Its almost run down plus the illuminations are not what they used to be either.

No great loss then......happy days

Yep. I'll be visiting Great Yarmouth while I'm on holiday which starts on Friday and I've seen photos on what the coast is like at night and it looks amazing.

Arhhhhh lovely.....enjoy"

Thanks I will. I can hardly wait lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is entirely understandable.

I feel the same about past colleagues (sadly not passed hehe). I just do not want to see them again. In the case that I do, knowing how messed up they are (narcissist, sociopath etc) I’m one step ahead in knowing how to deal with them.

So, although avoiding a place is one way of dealing with it - and it is also a good way if you don’t need to go to the place anyway - knowing what to say to them to piss then off so they stay away is also a good plan.

The main tip is - look happy, regardless what situation you are in (jobless etc) make sure you say how happy you are with yourself. That is a key way to REALLY piss them off. Emphasising your independence to a dependant leech does work.

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By *heLaserGuyMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Hi op

I can understand how you feel, depends how it all ended, i say this as i get on better with the ex wife now than we did married. Even been for a drink, all platonic if course, had her and the new partner in her life for dinner. All very amicable.

The ex gf on the other hand is a different matter, thankfukly since the split we've never met face to face. She put me in the lowest place ive ever been. Im in such a good place right now i juat wouldnt want her anywhere near me.

Partners will never know the effects they leave behind on others, chin uo and put her in he past.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi op

Partners will never know the effects they leave behind on others, chin uo and put her in he past.

I will always keep my ex in the past. She may have broke my heart a few years ago but she didn't break my spirit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I avoid mine, it's the most sensible thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes!

I don't go to the place where him and his Mrs work.

Not been in there for 10 years.

However, my mom does, as she cares not a shit - she said.

He put me in such a bad place when we were together, the thought of bumping into him makes me feel sick. The site of him does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I moved away

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes!

I don't go to the place where him and his Mrs work.

Not been in there for 10 years.

However, my mom does, as she cares not a shit - she said.

He put me in such a bad place when we were together, the thought of bumping into him makes me feel sick. The site of him does."

Sorry to hear what you went through. Keep your chin up and always think onwards and upwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes!

I don't go to the place where him and his Mrs work.

Not been in there for 10 years.

However, my mom does, as she cares not a shit - she said.

He put me in such a bad place when we were together, the thought of bumping into him makes me feel sick. The site of him does.

Sorry to hear what you went through. Keep your chin up and always think onwards and upwards. "

I do try to. It's been a long time. But still wouldn't want to bump into him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes!

I don't go to the place where him and his Mrs work.

Not been in there for 10 years.

However, my mom does, as she cares not a shit - she said.

He put me in such a bad place when we were together, the thought of bumping into him makes me feel sick. The site of him does.

Sorry to hear what you went through. Keep your chin up and always think onwards and upwards.

I do try to. It's been a long time. But still wouldn't want to bump into him. "

I know that feeling. I was once an email by my ex a few months ago which made me heart jump into my throat so I instantly blocked her email address.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I spent a week in Blackpool one day

Think maybe you should thank her OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hang on, who has the right to do that to anyone else? You say you've developed confidence in the time you've been away from toxic tara yet you want to hide? If Blackpool is a place you formerly loved then I'd be biting the bullet and going. Yes, you may see her, you may even bump into her - doesn't mean you have to give her the time of day or steam off your piss though does it?

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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago

wolverhampton

I’ve no problem with bumping into exes as majority of splits were amicable.

I did bump into one of the bad ones once but I had become so different since the split and grown into the person I am now, he didn’t know how to push my buttons anymore to upset me. It was quite empowering actually.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hang on, who has the right to do that to anyone else? You say you've developed confidence in the time you've been away from toxic tara yet you want to hide? If Blackpool is a place you formerly loved then I'd be biting the bullet and going. Yes, you may see her, you may even bump into her - doesn't mean you have to give her the time of day or steam off your piss though does it?"

For me, it's not that easy as I have a mild form of Autism and I've never been good with confrontations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If an ex is gonna cause trouble, they'll usually find you! If they're harmless then bumping into them should just be a matter of "hi, you look well, bye

..."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If an ex is gonna cause trouble, they'll usually find you! If they're harmless then bumping into them should just be a matter of "hi, you look well, bye

..." "

In my case, it would be an instant walk past like they weren't even there as I don't think it would be good to get into a conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes!

I don't go to the place where him and his Mrs work.

Not been in there for 10 years.

However, my mom does, as she cares not a shit - she said.

He put me in such a bad place when we were together, the thought of bumping into him makes me feel sick. The site of him does.

Sorry to hear what you went through. Keep your chin up and always think onwards and upwards.

I do try to. It's been a long time. But still wouldn't want to bump into him.

I know that feeling. I was once an email by my ex a few months ago which made me heart jump into my throat so I instantly blocked her email address."

Ekk,

I'd be the same though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes!

I don't go to the place where him and his Mrs work.

Not been in there for 10 years.

However, my mom does, as she cares not a shit - she said.

He put me in such a bad place when we were together, the thought of bumping into him makes me feel sick. The site of him does.

Sorry to hear what you went through. Keep your chin up and always think onwards and upwards.

I do try to. It's been a long time. But still wouldn't want to bump into him.

I know that feeling. I was once an email by my ex a few months ago which made me heart jump into my throat so I instantly blocked her email address.

Ekk,

I'd be the same though.

Yeah. It was pretty scary but as soon as I blocked her email address, I slept like a baby ever since.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes!

I don't go to the place where him and his Mrs work.

Not been in there for 10 years.

However, my mom does, as she cares not a shit - she said.

He put me in such a bad place when we were together, the thought of bumping into him makes me feel sick. The site of him does.

Sorry to hear what you went through. Keep your chin up and always think onwards and upwards.

I do try to. It's been a long time. But still wouldn't want to bump into him.

I know that feeling. I was once an email by my ex a few months ago which made me heart jump into my throat so I instantly blocked her email address.

Ekk,

I'd be the same though.

Yeah. It was pretty scary but as soon as I blocked her email address, I slept like a baby ever since."

It's like a weights been lifted...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yes!

I don't go to the place where him and his Mrs work.

Not been in there for 10 years.

However, my mom does, as she cares not a shit - she said.

He put me in such a bad place when we were together, the thought of bumping into him makes me feel sick. The site of him does.

Sorry to hear what you went through. Keep your chin up and always think onwards and upwards.

I do try to. It's been a long time. But still wouldn't want to bump into him.

I know that feeling. I was once an email by my ex a few months ago which made me heart jump into my throat so I instantly blocked her email address.

Ekk,

I'd be the same though.

Yeah. It was pretty scary but as soon as I blocked her email address, I slept like a baby ever since.

It's like a weights been lifted..."

Yeah definitely. It's made my life so much easier.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

I share my dogs with mine. A little bit cool when we see each other but I would never stop her from seeing the dogs.

Just bite the bullet and get on.

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