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Ouchies - innocuous but painful

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We've all caused ourselves massive pain, in the most random/odd ways.

I think I've broken a rib this morning thanks to a violent sneezing fit.

Sneeze, popping feeling, now agonising rib pain.

Can you top it?

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I tripped over a duck once and got a bloody nose , no I'm not joking either .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I tripped over a duck once and got a bloody nose , no I'm not joking either ."

A real duck or a toy one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" I tripped over a duck once and got a bloody nose , no I'm not joking either ."

Did you quack your nose

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" I tripped over a duck once and got a bloody nose , no I'm not joking either ."

Was the duck OK?

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


" I tripped over a duck once and got a bloody nose , no I'm not joking either .

A real duck or a toy one?"
A real one

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By *andyladMan
over a year ago

Hereorthere

Tripped over some cannonballs at Edinburgh Castle once (should've gone to specsavers)

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


" I tripped over a duck once and got a bloody nose , no I'm not joking either .

Was the duck OK? "
It was fine , the thing just looked startled, quacked at me , and fucked off

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By *anes HubbyCouple
over a year ago

Babbacombe Torquay

A few years ago Jane was tripped over backwards by a sub slave hogtied on a fetish club floor, she damaged her elbow so badly it required surgery....the most awkward thing of all was peeling her out of the latex Basque and Stockings before we could get her to A&E

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Tripped over some cannonballs at Edinburgh Castle once (should've gone to specsavers) "

Where there's blame, there's a claim

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire


"Tripped over some cannonballs at Edinburgh Castle once (should've gone to specsavers) "

FFS they huge how the feck you fall over them!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/05/19 14:00:05]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A few years ago Jane was tripped over backwards by a sub slave hogtied on a fetish club floor, she damaged her elbow so badly it required surgery....the most awkward thing of all was peeling her out of the latex Basque and Stockings before we could get her to A&E "

Owwwww, explain that to the triage nurse

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By *andyladMan
over a year ago

Hereorthere


"Tripped over some cannonballs at Edinburgh Castle once (should've gone to specsavers)

Where there's blame, there's a claim "

Couldn't miss em really they were huge

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire


"Tripped over some cannonballs at Edinburgh Castle once (should've gone to specsavers)

Where there's blame, there's a claim "

only one to blame was himself the feckers are massive!!!!! canna help but see em lol

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By *andyladMan
over a year ago

Hereorthere


"Tripped over some cannonballs at Edinburgh Castle once (should've gone to specsavers)

FFS they huge how the feck you fall over them!!!!!! "

I was young and stupid once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I broke a rib attempting to suck my dick whilst d*unk. I was horny teehee

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By *andyladMan
over a year ago

Hereorthere

Now I'm older and just as daft just getting that in there

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Slammed a car door on my finger when I was seven years old. Can still remember the pain/agony !! Fingernail went black and come off.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had my suitcase full of lingerie and toys open in the living room, my wand by the sofa I was sat on as I heard the front door open and my son walk in. Eeeeeeeeeek struck me and I grabbed the wand, leapt forward to plant it in the suitcase. However....

As I jumped up and propelled myself in the direction of the case, my foot decided the platform it was gonna launch from was my upturned trainer. Bent all my toes back whilst slam dunking not only the wand into the suitcase but myself too, just as my lad entered the room.

P

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I broke a rib attempting to suck my dick whilst d*unk. I was horny teehee "

Genius

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Sat on the sofa for too long in a funny position, leg went numb. Got up and promptly went over on my ankle breaking it in two places!

Teach me to vegetate at home

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I had my suitcase full of lingerie and toys open in the living room, my wand by the sofa I was sat on as I heard the front door open and my son walk in. Eeeeeeeeeek struck me and I grabbed the wand, leapt forward to plant it in the suitcase. However....

As I jumped up and propelled myself in the direction of the case, my foot decided the platform it was gonna launch from was my upturned trainer. Bent all my toes back whilst slam dunking not only the wand into the suitcase but myself too, just as my lad entered the room.

P"

Did he see the contents of the toy box?

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I was painting a bit of the skirting board but lost my balance and fell forward and shoulder planted the wooden floor. I damaged my rotator cuff!

Friggin hurt as well. I just lay there having a pathetic cry because i convinced myself i was going to die alone on the floor with a paintbrush in my hand...until i mustered up some balls to fight through the pain and sit up straight. took months to get proper pain free movement back!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had my suitcase full of lingerie and toys open in the living room, my wand by the sofa I was sat on as I heard the front door open and my son walk in. Eeeeeeeeeek struck me and I grabbed the wand, leapt forward to plant it in the suitcase. However....

As I jumped up and propelled myself in the direction of the case, my foot decided the platform it was gonna launch from was my upturned trainer. Bent all my toes back whilst slam dunking not only the wand into the suitcase but myself too, just as my lad entered the room.

P

Did he see the contents of the toy box? "

Nope, just me plastered on top of them. Luckily he was so busy laughing himself to tears my secret remained a secret and I rolled off nursing my toes whilst bringing the lid of the case down with me. I thought I'd broken the lot of them. Toes that is, not toys!

P

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sat on the sofa for too long in a funny position, leg went numb. Got up and promptly went over on my ankle breaking it in two places!

Teach me to vegetate at home "

DOH!

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds


"Sat on the sofa for too long in a funny position, leg went numb. Got up and promptly went over on my ankle breaking it in two places!

Teach me to vegetate at home

DOH!"

That’s pretty much what I said + a few choice expletives!

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By *s_bettyboopWoman
over a year ago

-3


"Slammed a car door on my finger when I was seven years old. Can still remember the pain/agony !! Fingernail went black and come off..... "

I did that the other day and the car door was fully shut. I screamed. I was thankful for my chubby fingers that day!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was painting a bit of the skirting board but lost my balance and fell forward and shoulder planted the wooden floor. I damaged my rotator cuff!

Friggin hurt as well. I just lay there having a pathetic cry because i convinced myself i was going to die alone on the floor with a paintbrush in my hand...until i mustered up some balls to fight through the pain and sit up straight. took months to get proper pain free movement back!"

Next time, get a man to do the painting

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