Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
![]() | Back to forum list |
![]() | Back to The Lounge |
Jump to newest | ![]() |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I actually replied to a "how was your weekend" type message the other day. Lovely chap, we had a nice chat ![]() Sounds great! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I find people soon bore of my conversation" Why do you think that is? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Another thread has inspired me to ask if regular conversation has any place during the messaging process? For instance I've had a hi or how are you? As an initial message sent to me a few times and if I like the look of the profile I will respond back with a I am well,how are you? After all that's a reasonable conversational development! When did asking someone how are you? become such a weird thing? It could be a lot worse!!" Depends whether my piles are playing up or not then they may regret asking ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
""Hi" and "How are you?" demonstrates a real lack of imagination for an initial / intro message. I guess it's ok if from somebody you're already in contact and communication with." It may be initial shyness? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Another thread has inspired me to ask if regular conversation has any place during the messaging process? For instance I've had a hi or how are you? As an initial message sent to me a few times and if I like the look of the profile I will respond back with a I am well,how are you? After all that's a reasonable conversational development! When did asking someone how are you? become such a weird thing? It could be a lot worse!! Depends whether my piles are playing up or not then they may regret asking ![]() Fair enough, and humourous! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I find people soon bore of my conversationWhy do you think that is?" Probably because there is something more interesting to do, like watching paint dry ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If that is all my profile inspires them to say, then yes, I will admit I do ignore them, as their profile is usually empty ![]() Ok, if their profile is empty I understand. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I don't get this either. It's a standard way of starting a chat in the real world so I'm not sure why it's so taboo to do it online. " I'm with you on that. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
""Hi" and "How are you?" demonstrates a real lack of imagination for an initial / intro message. I guess it's ok if from somebody you're already in contact and communication with." I expect a fucking first rate reply when I tell the girls 'bout all my dirty fantasies in a first message. Seriously though, I think "hi, come and chat when you have five" is absolutely fine unless there's a specific thing you can reference. Ppl are way too up tight, conversation develops right? If you start on a high there's only one way the convo can go imho.... I'm never short of funny random shit to say, but sometimes it's a good thing to encourage the other person to show you some of themselves rather than peacock "look at how brilliant I am" humour. Ppl are mother fucking complex, so rules are for fools in my house.... Peace, love and all that shiz, innit ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If that is all my profile inspires them to say, then yes, I will admit I do ignore them, as their profile is usually empty ![]() The Chinese say every journey begins with a single step. In that belief I look at most people that have looked at me, and often contact the ones where our aims coincide. Several friendships have developed this way, and it's usually a bit more than the "how are you" style of greeting, which is hardly a great conversational opening. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
""Hi" and "How are you?" demonstrates a real lack of imagination for an initial / intro message. I guess it's ok if from somebody you're already in contact and communication with. I expect a fucking first rate reply when I tell the girls 'bout all my dirty fantasies in a first message. Seriously though, I think "hi, come and chat when you have five" is absolutely fine unless there's a specific thing you can reference. Ppl are way too up tight, conversation develops right? If you start on a high there's only one way the convo can go imho.... I'm never short of funny random shit to say, but sometimes it's a good thing to encourage the other person to show you some of themselves rather than peacock "look at how brilliant I am" humour. Ppl are mother fucking complex, so rules are for fools in my house.... Peace, love and all that shiz, innit ![]() What you said about conversation only being able to go downhill from a WOW Start is so true! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
""Hi" and "How are you?" demonstrates a real lack of imagination for an initial / intro message. I guess it's ok if from somebody you're already in contact and communication with. I expect a fucking first rate reply when I tell the girls 'bout all my dirty fantasies in a first message. Seriously though, I think "hi, come and chat when you have five" is absolutely fine unless there's a specific thing you can reference. Ppl are way too up tight, conversation develops right? If you start on a high there's only one way the convo can go imho.... I'm never short of funny random shit to say, but sometimes it's a good thing to encourage the other person to show you some of themselves rather than peacock "look at how brilliant I am" humour. Ppl are mother fucking complex, so rules are for fools in my house.... Peace, love and all that shiz, innit ![]() Fair point However, I still favour the 'look at how brilliant I am' gambit! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"That's how all my messages are on here. I want to get to know someone, not read about what they want to do to me. " Thanks for that it may help some people to know there is another way. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So glad we have none of this crap! We normally send or receive a short 'ice breaker' message. See where it leads and then look to meet. Couples meeting couples is so much easier!" 'Ice breaker' is it normally more than one sentence? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I generally send a 'dad joke' 99% gets a response. Dont really message first now though." What's a dad joke? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So glad we have none of this crap! We normally send or receive a short 'ice breaker' message. See where it leads and then look to meet. Couples meeting couples is so much easier!'Ice breaker' is it normally more than one sentence?" Sometimes not an awful lot more. We often get the Hi, how are you messages as well. We'll respond as not everyone is great with the written word or may just be shy and nervous. We’ve found some absolutely brilliant friends from such inauspicious beginnings. But then I wonder if we’re looking to meet equals instead trying to make people jump through hoops and prove themselves worthy. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I generally send a 'dad joke' 99% gets a response. Dont really message first now though. What's a dad joke?" What do you call a unimportant elephant? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Another thread has inspired me to ask if regular conversation has any place during the messaging process? For instance I've had a hi or how are you? As an initial message sent to me a few times and if I like the look of the profile I will respond back with a I am well,how are you? After all that's a reasonable conversational development! When did asking someone how are you? become such a weird thing? It could be a lot worse!!" I only respond to the hi how are you if they are hot but I soon loose interest if the convo isnt | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Another thread has inspired me to ask if regular conversation has any place during the messaging process? For instance I've had a hi or how are you? As an initial message sent to me a few times and if I like the look of the profile I will respond back with a I am well,how are you? After all that's a reasonable conversational development! When did asking someone how are you? become such a weird thing? It could be a lot worse!! I only respond to the hi how are you if they are hot but I soon loose interest if the convo isnt" A fair comment. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So glad we have none of this crap! We normally send or receive a short 'ice breaker' message. See where it leads and then look to meet. Couples meeting couples is so much easier!'Ice breaker' is it normally more than one sentence? Sometimes not an awful lot more. We often get the Hi, how are you messages as well. We'll respond as not everyone is great with the written word or may just be shy and nervous. We’ve found some absolutely brilliant friends from such inauspicious beginnings. But then I wonder if we’re looking to meet equals instead trying to make people jump through hoops and prove themselves worthy. " That is some praiseworthy behaviour! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I try to inject some luging to prove I’ve looked at the persons profile and not go on all about me. I invite them to look at my profile and tell them I’d love to chat more. Then watch the message remain unread or deleted. Haha When I do get a response sometimes it’s like the person isn’t that interested as they reply with very short answers and is one way. " Which shows there is no one perfect way. I've laughed sometimes too at the inconsistency of it all. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I try to inject some luging to prove I’ve looked at the persons profile and not go on all about me. I invite them to look at my profile and tell them I’d love to chat more. Then watch the message remain unread or deleted. Haha When I do get a response sometimes it’s like the person isn’t that interested as they reply with very short answers and is one way. Which shows there is no one perfect way. I've laughed sometimes too at the inconsistency of it all." It is frustrating that I want to make the effort but it’s not reciprocated. But that’s Fab for you ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Regular conversation definitely has a part in my repertoire. If all you can say is 'hi how are you' then that shows a lack of imagination. But if you cant hold a normal conversation how are you supposed to click or gel with the other party? I find it nice if you can build up the chat to something steamier if you are working up to a meet, but if you start of with it, where do you go? " The conversation mostly develops after the hi, if not that would be the other person's choice. It's also a bit of a lottery to know when to ramp it up. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"That's how all my messages are on here. I want to get to know someone, not read about what they want to do to me. Thanks for that it may help some people to know there is another way." Sex talk from the start freezes my brain. It's like pouring a bucket of water over me. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I don’t think there is anything wrong with a ‘how are you message’ just the way it’s written, like ‘how’s you babe’ or ‘how’s you’ that doesn’t really grab me, if in the first message they mention my profile then ask how I am, that’s a conversation starter for me, it’s very rare anyone actually cares how you actually are lol x" I like what you said about mentioning your profile first then asking how are you? That shows attention to detail...and I can understand why your more likely to respond to that. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If the message just says “Hi” and nothing else I find it a little bit lazy that someone can’t think of something else to write and are waiting for you to start the conversation " That too. There's lots on my profile to talk about! I made it that way on purpose! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"That's how all my messages are on here. I want to get to know someone, not read about what they want to do to me. Thanks for that it may help some people to know there is another way. Sex talk from the start freezes my brain. It's like pouring a bucket of water over me." That's why it's good to learn how to have self control on this site..as some of the profiles encourage the animal! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Most of my messages are conversational, but they never start with hi how are you. From experience, the hi how are you messages go something like this. (why I don't reply anymore) Them: hi, how are you? Me: Fine thanks. Nice profile. What drew you to mine? Them: hawt tits baebs Me: Thank you. What do you think we might have in common? I see we have x common interest. Them: u sexay wanna fuck u ... Etc. I'm not here to pull teeth. " That's bad, you have my sympathies! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"That's how all my messages are on here. I want to get to know someone, not read about what they want to do to me. Thanks for that it may help some people to know there is another way. Sex talk from the start freezes my brain. It's like pouring a bucket of water over me. That's why it's good to learn how to have self control on this site..as some of the profiles encourage the animal!" Since I joined I've had numerous styles of profile text and photos. It's not a surprise to me when I catch the fish I set out my bait for. But, even with suggestive photos, some men can restrain themselves and not come in with vulgarity, from the off. That should be saved for when you know the kind of vulgarity a woman likes. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"That's how all my messages are on here. I want to get to know someone, not read about what they want to do to me. Thanks for that it may help some people to know there is another way. Sex talk from the start freezes my brain. It's like pouring a bucket of water over me. That's why it's good to learn how to have self control on this site..as some of the profiles encourage the animal! Since I joined I've had numerous styles of profile text and photos. It's not a surprise to me when I catch the fish I set out my bait for. But, even with suggestive photos, some men can restrain themselves and not come in with vulgarity, from the off. That should be saved for when you know the kind of vulgarity a woman likes." That is an excellent way of doing things and the rest is the best way to behave. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Most of my messages are conversational, but they never start with hi how are you. From experience, the hi how are you messages go something like this. (why I don't reply anymore) Them: hi, how are you? Me: Fine thanks. Nice profile. What drew you to mine? Them: hawt tits baebs Me: Thank you. What do you think we might have in common? I see we have x common interest. Them: u sexay wanna fuck u ... Etc. I'm not here to pull teeth. That's bad, you have my sympathies!" But it's why it's a bad thing. I want to know a) the person is interested in *me* and b) they can be arsed to make an effort to have a conversation. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If the message just says “Hi” and nothing else I find it a little bit lazy that someone can’t think of something else to write and are waiting for you to start the conversation " That happens sometimes with the hi messages you feel like they want you to carry on what they have initiated. I now tend to think that may be shyness...or their experts at timewasting! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Most of my messages are conversational, but they never start with hi how are you. From experience, the hi how are you messages go something like this. (why I don't reply anymore) Them: hi, how are you? Me: Fine thanks. Nice profile. What drew you to mine? Them: hawt tits baebs Me: Thank you. What do you think we might have in common? I see we have x common interest. Them: u sexay wanna fuck u ... Etc. I'm not here to pull teeth. That's bad, you have my sympathies! But it's why it's a bad thing. I want to know a) the person is interested in *me* and b) they can be arsed to make an effort to have a conversation. " Yes it's nice to feel particularly wanted and to have people that are able to follow through on that in a manner that is acceptable to you. It's funny how so many can't do that! It's simple really. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Most of my messages are conversational, but they never start with hi how are you. From experience, the hi how are you messages go something like this. (why I don't reply anymore) Them: hi, how are you? Me: Fine thanks. Nice profile. What drew you to mine? Them: hawt tits baebs Me: Thank you. What do you think we might have in common? I see we have x common interest. Them: u sexay wanna fuck u ... Etc. I'm not here to pull teeth. That's bad, you have my sympathies! But it's why it's a bad thing. I want to know a) the person is interested in *me* and b) they can be arsed to make an effort to have a conversation. Yes it's nice to feel particularly wanted and to have people that are able to follow through on that in a manner that is acceptable to you. It's funny how so many can't do that! It's simple really." It's not even that I want the five star, most beautiful woman in the world treatment. Frankly I don't. I want a few steps up from "you have tits and a vagina, you seem to put out, and you're within 50 miles" | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Most of my messages are conversational, but they never start with hi how are you. From experience, the hi how are you messages go something like this. (why I don't reply anymore) Them: hi, how are you? Me: Fine thanks. Nice profile. What drew you to mine? Them: hawt tits baebs Me: Thank you. What do you think we might have in common? I see we have x common interest. Them: u sexay wanna fuck u ... Etc. I'm not here to pull teeth. That's bad, you have my sympathies! But it's why it's a bad thing. I want to know a) the person is interested in *me* and b) they can be arsed to make an effort to have a conversation. Yes it's nice to feel particularly wanted and to have people that are able to follow through on that in a manner that is acceptable to you. It's funny how so many can't do that! It's simple really." Do you think some people have a problem with keeping their cool under pressure and that can explain some of the disjointedness in conversation. People and their urgent deadlines! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If the message just says “Hi” and nothing else I find it a little bit lazy that someone can’t think of something else to write and are waiting for you to start the conversation That happens sometimes with the hi messages you feel like they want you to carry on what they have initiated. I now tend to think that may be shyness...or their experts at timewasting!" Agree could be shyness. There are time wasters out there, but not fair to tar everyone with the brush, benefit of the doubt or else wouldn’t talk to anyone Saying “hi” is definitely better than a friend request with no previous contact, that is a definite no for me | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Do you think some people have a problem with keeping their cool under pressure and that can explain some of the disjointedness in conversation. People and their urgent deadlines!" Possibly. But the Internet is a wonderful thing. I'm not standing right there. Put it down, come back to it. I do it myself sometimes when I need a clearer head or can't find words. Messaging in a day or two might get you somewhere, while inane generic messages don't (with me). | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I generally send a 'dad joke' 99% gets a response. Dont really message first now though. What's a dad joke? What do you call a unimportant elephant?" Am I the only one who wants to know the answer to this? Lol | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've found very few have imagination beyond, 'hi, liked your profile.' They neither say what they liked, how it interested them, nothing that leads into a conversation. One needs to then ask and then it's about yourself rather than them which I find more difficult. We shouldn't complain though as most ladies don't initiate conversation, so a little grunt sent our way is like a juicy steak rather than a morsal. ![]() No comment on the last para. Although some of that non initiation may be for example a couples way of doing things the male being the initiater or first responder. A vetting process. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I generally send a 'dad joke' 99% gets a response. Dont really message first now though. What's a dad joke? What do you call a unimportant elephant? Am I the only one who wants to know the answer to this? Lol " No I want to know too... ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've found very few have imagination beyond, 'hi, liked your profile.' They neither say what they liked, how it interested them, nothing that leads into a conversation. One needs to then ask and then it's about yourself rather than them which I find more difficult. We shouldn't complain though as most ladies don't initiate conversation, so a little grunt sent our way is like a juicy steak rather than a morsal. ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Happy to engage in conversational messaging..." Hello Mike. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Happy to engage in conversational messaging...Hello Mike." Clearly not his type ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I don't get this either. It's a standard way of starting a chat in the real world so I'm not sure why it's so taboo to do it online. " Exactly. And the answer to the question usually informs the rest of the interaction as it enables you to build rapport or at least gauge the mood of the other person. If they tell me they're having a bad day the tone of my next message would be one of empathy or sympathy, if they're having the best day ever I might feel that flippant one liners are more appropriate! And of course if I send 'how are you' message as an invitation to converse further, if I get the dreaded 'deleted, unread' then I can move on and be grateful I didn't just waste 15 minutes coming up with something special. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Happy to engage in conversational messaging...Hello Mike. Clearly not his type ![]() Haha, just testing his love of conversation. He'll reply later. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I don't get this either. It's a standard way of starting a chat in the real world so I'm not sure why it's so taboo to do it online. Exactly. And the answer to the question usually informs the rest of the interaction as it enables you to build rapport or at least gauge the mood of the other person. If they tell me they're having a bad day the tone of my next message would be one of empathy or sympathy, if they're having the best day ever I might feel that flippant one liners are more appropriate! And of course if I send 'how are you' message as an invitation to converse further, if I get the dreaded 'deleted, unread' then I can move on and be grateful I didn't just waste 15 minutes coming up with something special. " I like the way you put that! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Come on - I need the answer to the elephant joke! I've had messages which start of "Nice cock". I already know this. Delete." A irrelephant ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I always enjoy a good conversation with friends on here but when it comes to starting a conversation with new people, it's impossible. I've tried everything from a simple friendly hello to messages that show I've read their profile while sending a face pic and yet get a big fat zero." I actually used to get a pretty good reply rate when I didn't have a face pic up. Then I'd send a face pic and get shut down. So I guess my face is the problem haha ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I always enjoy a good conversation with friends on here but when it comes to starting a conversation with new people, it's impossible. I've tried everything from a simple friendly hello to messages that show I've read their profile while sending a face pic and yet get a big fat zero. I actually used to get a pretty good reply rate when I didn't have a face pic up. Then I'd send a face pic and get shut down. So I guess my face is the problem haha ![]() If the problem was to be my face pic, I would do my best to think that it maybe because the pic I sent was shit and not think that I have an ugly mug. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I generally send a 'dad joke' 99% gets a response. Dont really message first now though. What's a dad joke? What do you call a unimportant elephant?" ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I always enjoy a good conversation with friends on here but when it comes to starting a conversation with new people, it's impossible. I've tried everything from a simple friendly hello to messages that show I've read their profile while sending a face pic and yet get a big fat zero. I actually used to get a pretty good reply rate when I didn't have a face pic up. Then I'd send a face pic and get shut down. So I guess my face is the problem haha ![]() Yeah, that was my first thought so I tried different face pics (well, same face different pictures) and the result was basically the same. It's OK though, I know from real life meatspace that there are some people out there that do enjoy the way my features are arranged just that not very many of them seem to live in my area. Or use Fab. Or they do both of those but have their age filter set to one year younger than my actual age. etc etc | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I always enjoy a good conversation with friends on here but when it comes to starting a conversation with new people, it's impossible. I've tried everything from a simple friendly hello to messages that show I've read their profile while sending a face pic and yet get a big fat zero. I actually used to get a pretty good reply rate when I didn't have a face pic up. Then I'd send a face pic and get shut down. So I guess my face is the problem haha ![]() Yeah. I've been told that I look cute on many occasions which I do consider as a great compliment. Wish a lot more people in my area could see that. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top | ![]() |