FabSwingers.com forum: The Alternative Valentines Thread.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok non of you loved up puppies allowed this is for them who are deflowered and cardless. (Your mum don't count)

Come in and say hello.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alright for flowers for now, as it was my birthday yesterday, but not so sure about the card/s tomorrow.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

**waves**

Expecting to have to struggle past the avalanche of cards that the postie is gonna shove thru me door tomoz - NOT

Unfortunately, my ex did say to watch out for the post, but hoping he's sending me anthrax spores instead - much easier to deal with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'll not even get so much as a card, not even from my mum lol

so hi

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By *irty_bhamMan
over a year ago

birmingham

ooh ello

(i'm even unloved by my mom)

hope i'm still welcome?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There are roses by the bar in the corner. Have a heart shaped helium balloon and keep an eye on the door for loved up gatecrashers.

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By *irty_bhamMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"i'll not even get so much as a card, not even from my mum lol

so hi

well you know i'll always keep a kebab warm for you

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

Hello another sad lady here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

waves frantically from the billy no mates corner

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

can I come in and suck the helium out of the balloon?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

that's better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i'll not even get so much as a card, not even from my mum lol

so hi

well you know i'll always keep a kebab warm for you

awww can i have red sauce on it just to get me in the mood lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i'll not even get so much as a card, not even from my mum lol

so hi

well you know i'll always keep a kebab warm for you

Not too much chilli sauce on it though.

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By *irty_bhamMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"waves frantically from the billy no mates corner"

mind your arm

you nearly poked my eye out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"can I come in and suck the helium out of the balloon?

Oooo a couple get the bouncers!

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By *irty_bhamMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"i'll not even get so much as a card, not even from my mum lol

so hi

well you know i'll always keep a kebab warm for you

awww can i have red sauce on it just to get me in the mood lol"

you can even have mayo

i'm a gent like that

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

popcorn anyone,voddy

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

oi....no hijacking my thread

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By *irty_bhamMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"popcorn anyone,voddy

perks!!!!

did someone say voddy ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"popcorn anyone,voddy

I'll have a dip

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

two large voddys coming up,hell have a bottle and a straw its valentines

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"two large voddys coming up,hell have a bottle and a straw its valentines"

Im up for a slurp too.

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By *irty_bhamMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"two large voddys coming up,hell have a bottle and a straw its valentines"

sod the straw.... i'm a romantic.

do me a bucket

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

and they said romance was dead

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"and they said romance was dead

If its blue its dead! Thats my rule of thumb.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

feel the love in the room.... or not so much...

i am so confident of not getting any i have given my postie the day off.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"feel the love in the room.... or not so much...

i am so confident of not getting any i have given my postie the day off.....

I'd rather have a shag than a card...Err thats not an offer by the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only thing coming through our letterbox tomorrow will be bills and the pervy postmans thingy!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

If its blue its dead! Thats my rule of thumb.

so thats the mass murder of those creatures in avatar sorted...... but does it stand up in a court of law???

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

If its blue its dead! Thats my rule of thumb.

so thats the mass murder of those creatures in avatar sorted...... but does it stand up in a court of law???

and the smurfs... you have killed the bloody smurfs!!! bastard!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If its blue its dead! Thats my rule of thumb.

so thats the mass murder of those creatures in avatar sorted...... but does it stand up in a court of law???

Forgot about them they weren't dead. I wouldn't fuck one though they were ,massive with tail things!!!!!!

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

with tail things ooo think of the fun

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

hang on... the cookie monster is blue...

oh to humanity!!! thats my childhood ruined!!!

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

"hang on... the cookie monster is blue...

oh to humanity!!! thats my childhood ruined!!!

"
more voddy required

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By *irty_bhamMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"with tail things ooo think of the fun

is it classed as a tail if it's at the front ??

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

if its at the front its a cock,or a very long clitty

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

My word, this thread has gone completely downhill since I last looked - was expecting sad and lonely singletons crying in their beer (or Pinot if profffffesssssional) and they've gone off on a blue smurf/avatar/clitty/wingwang tangent

That's swingers for you.....

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

could have something to do with the voddy,wev been using buckets and straws,hows that for professional

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By *irty_bhamMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"My word, this thread has gone completely downhill since I last looked - was expecting sad and lonely singletons crying in their beer (or Pinot if profffffesssssional) and they've gone off on a blue smurf/avatar/clitty/wingwang tangent

That's swingers for you.....

i know.... i very neary spat out my vodka in disgust but if i did i'd have been more disgusted at myself

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"could have something to do with the voddy,wev been using buckets and straws,hows that for professional

buckets and straws - bloody chavs - As a proffessionnnall, I go intravenous - pass the needle please

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Voddy fish-bowl anyone?

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

now thats class that is hic

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

That's swingers for you.....

i know.... i very neary spat out my vodka in disgust but if i did i'd have been more disgusted at myself

And I was also brought up to believe spitting was very impolite so would also have been disgusted at the waste of voddy (or indeed any other fluid

)

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By *irty_bhamMan
over a year ago

birmingham

oink oink

anyone for a voddy trough ??

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"oink oink

anyone for a voddy trough ??

Incoming!!!!!!

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

arent wis jusht gettang shilly now,oopsh think i had enof slithers off to bed

night night valentines

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"oink oink

anyone for a voddy trough ??

Incoming!!!!!!

5 more on the table one with coconut juice in it as well.

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

oh well if its got coconut juice in i might be persuaded ,pass me the trough

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By *irty_bhamMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"arent wis jusht gettang shilly now,oopsh think i had enof slithers off to bed

night night valentines

throws a pillow on the floor for lacey just incase she doesn't quite make it to bed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cheesy poofs anyone?

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

"arent wis jusht gettang shilly now,oopsh think i had enof slithers off to bed

night night valentines

throws a pillow on the floor for lacey just incase she doesn't quite make it to bed

"
wadda ya mean,im a woman of conviction me,im convinced i need another drinkys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not take your voodoo ingestion to the next level.......who's up for a voddy enema?

But if you want to drink it on the way out it's advisable to pass it through a sieve first!!!!

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

think i will stick with the cheesy poofs ta

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By *irty_bhamMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"arent wis jusht gettang shilly now,oopsh think i had enof slithers off to bed

night night valentines

throws a pillow on the floor for lacey just incase she doesn't quite make it to bed

wadda ya mean,im a woman of conviction me,im convinced i need another drinkys "

offers lacey something warm n wet to quench her thirst

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

ya taking advantage of a d*unken women now,ta very much

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By *irty_bhamMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"ya taking advantage of a d*unken women now,ta very much"

ooh it's my pleasure

now drink up as it's going to be a long and filthy night

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

too late im nished as pewt,now wheres that blanket zzzzzzzzzzzzz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spending the day at work and the evening alone, well with house guest and four cats depending on which one comes home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doing a double shift so no lovy dovy stuff for me

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

Home with the kids on half term here! Nowt coming in the post and only the Muppets to look forward to later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'll treat mysef to an epic wank ... I might even use lube as its a special occasion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not expecting anything through the door from the postie, but....... the cyber postie delivered several, thanks. xxx

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By *inkershoes69Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

"I think I'll treat mysef to an epic wank ... I might even use lube as its a special occasion

"
Go on treat yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll sit in here its better than watching some guy declaring his love for another's wife.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

One e-card so far, but I think he's copied and pasted it to most of his friends list.

I was hoping I'd get one on Jemimas post but nothing. Not a sausage. *sigh*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a dream that I received 66500 cards, but they were all witten in Latin.

Hey...... It was VIVID.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let's all be sad together

But happy if that makes any sense

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I had a dream that I received 66500 cards, but they were all witten in Latin.

Hey...... It was VIVID.....

Beatus amatores die

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can i join as no card either? Did someone mention vodka?

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

Well I assume there must be a postal strike today, as I never copped any cards.

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

"Can i join as no card either? Did someone mention vodka?

"
aye straw bucket or trough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'll treat mysef to an epic wank ... I might even use lube as its a special occasion

Go on treat yourself

Thanks! Just need to go and buy some rope, an orange, some high heels and some stockings and I'll be all set for a good 'ol asphxiwank

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

"Well I assume there must be a postal strike today, as I never copped any cards.

Didnt even get my roadtax!

Can I have my vodka by the skip load please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Room at the table for one more? No cards, just a text from someone I had a liaison with 4 years ago, didn't even have his number anymore, has to ask who it was

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By *ercedes62Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

No card no flowers

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Nothing here either, oh well maybe next year

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By *azzaahhWoman
over a year ago

north wales / chester

no cards no flowers not even a crummy text

(

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well no card for me so I must assume my stalker is in jail.

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Waves..... hi everyone... hahaha xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

........ a 28 year old offered to spend the day spoiling me for valentines, yay me!

......I read his mail after being at work all day.

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By *inkershoes69Woman
over a year ago

maidstone

no. card, flowers, meal, oh god im goin to die with my cats smelling of cats piss and wearing wrinkled tights!!

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By *ashful BazMan
over a year ago

poole dorset

"Well no card for me so I must assume my stalker is in jail.

Lol I bet your inbox gets busy though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd shag ye all!

.... together!!!! woohooooo ......

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

nowt for me AND I had to pay for lunch!!!!

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I'd shag ye all!

.... together!!!! woohooooo ......

"
like your new pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd shag ye all!

.... together!!!! woohooooo ......

like your new pics

Ooh thank you. mwahh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"nowt for me AND I had to pay for lunch!!!!"

Get him to give you a steak and bj on 14th march then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had no cards No flowers nowt,hang on just going get the kleenex,lol so a huge Happy Valentines to all us card less buggas lol xxxxxxxxxxx

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

"Had no cards No flowers nowt,hang on just going get the kleenex,lol so a huge Happy Valentines to all us card less buggas lol xxxxxxxxxxx

"
rushes out for more voddy,bugger the straws were going for the trough this time,although my head hurts from last night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's nice knowing I don't have to make an effort for Valentines day.

I'm not single, Tra just has very low expectations of me..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well it's good to see that Rangers players will be getting laid tonight...

OOps sorry!....Laid off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FFS!

Papercuts from all the mail, sugar rush from all the chocs, hayfever from all the flowers, and cramp from reading all my online mail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing for me either...not even a straw for the voddy

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

"FFS!

Papercuts from all the mail, sugar rush from all the chocs, hayfever from all the flowers, and cramp from reading all my online mail

"
yeah right,pull up a pew,large one was it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"FFS!

Papercuts from all the mail, sugar rush from all the chocs, hayfever from all the flowers, and cramp from reading all my online mail

yeah right,pull up a pew,large one was it

If I had vodka in the house, I would have had about half a bottle tonight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Found some wine at the back of the cupboard..

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

ok...time to fess up, i dont do valentines, neither does kev. i see it as a nilla protocol, some bdsmers need collars and a rule book to prove what they are, some married couples seem to treat valentines day the same way...

If you have someone in your life, tell them, no matter what day it is, if you dont ,today is no different...just a day when you can do what you want, be with who you want when you want...

now when's steak and bj day....thats far more my kind of thing

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"now when's steak and bj day....thats far more my kind of thing

March 14th. Just need to find someone to BJ for that one!

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

jemmima it doesnt matter wether you do valentines or not,youv made so many people happy and smiley tonight,and i suspect a few will be laid awake wondering,so thank you from me,i got one valentine msg and one thank you msg.

made my day xxxxx

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

ps march 14th mmm cant wait

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

save us a glass or 2 plz im on me way

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

party on .....again,im having the voddy delivered by tanker tonight

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank fuck all that luvey stuff is over and we can get back to playing twosies on the Mrs.

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