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Amazing how some see swinging xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Two incidents one last week and one on the forums yesterday have yet again highlighted how some vanillas and some swingers (both newbie and occasionally long term ) see swinging

Also mentioned in a post today on another thread

Last week a vanilla mate who knows I swing and who knows I'm in a relationship said to me that because I "let" her have sex with other men and she "let's" me do my thing then there is no way we can be in love

The forum post the other day said that swinging couples must be lacking something physical or emotionally to be in the game

(I had a knee jerk reaction to this and posted so but someone then pointed out that for instance in the case if a bi couple they are missing something physical from their partner I saw this and agreed however I do not accept emotional)

Me personally I love my partner completely

And am emotionally faithful to her and yer to me

Yes physically it's a no

It kinda gets to me when people assume that couples are somehow weakened or have to be seeking something

Yes I agree there may be couples out there that that applies to but it's defiantly the minority

I got to now many many couples over the years I've been in the game and not one has ever given any indication that they are less than in love

( and yes you can tell by body language for the ones that will say arrh but they might be unhappy)

We all have problems and some if us split even I'm swinging

(my last two long term swinging relationships broke up but not because if swinging )

Why do some generalise when they have absolutely no idea what swinging is or how for the majority it works to enhance a relationship ? Xx

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Cos they haven't yet learned not to possess....

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

As you say... they have no idea.

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area


"Cos they haven't yet learned not to possess.... "

Well put....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Cos they haven't yet learned not to possess....

Well put...."

+1 xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seen a few comments recentlyn chat, off singles saying that couples cant be in if they swing, they must have something wrong in their relationship if they are on a swinging site.

Now, excuse me for been ignorant here…. but wasnt swinging originated from couples getting together with other couples. Without couples then there is NO swinging.

LOL

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soapy, as with most of your posts hereI have to agree.

I have been in relationships where we have "swung" and it wasn't because we wanted others, for us it was always a case of legal enjoyment in a way that most don't, or won't admit to! The feeling when you see a loved one enjoying themself, enjoying pleasure and all the other aspects that swinging brings is unlike anything else. But as I try to explain to others... sex is sex, that's just the physical side. Those we have swung with, we don't go shopping with, or taking the kids for days out with, or make love with, or all the other things with personal and emotional connection, unfortunately many others don't see this...

then again many of the many others happily go off on a night out with "the lads" or "the girls" and are upto no good themselves, but that's acceptable. Hmmmm the mind ponders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seen a few comments recentlyn chat, off singles saying that couples cant be in if they swing, they must have something wrong in their relationship if they are on a swinging site.

Now, excuse me for been ignorant here…. but wasnt swinging originated from couples getting together with other couples. Without couples then there is NO swinging."

+1

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Seen a few comments recentlyn chat, off singles saying that couples cant be in if they swing, they must have something wrong in their relationship if they are on a swinging site.

Now, excuse me for been ignorant here…. but wasnt swinging originated from couples getting together with other couples. Without couples then there is NO swinging.

LOL

Steve

"

The Other thing to add to that is how do they explain the many couples who meet through the scene and have happy long term relationships and in many cases marry? Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

The Other thing to add to that is how do they explain the many couples who meet through the scene and have happy long term relationships and in many cases marry? Xx "

Good point. We know quite a few, including yourselves.

Although, when 2 fellow fabbers get together and start a relationship, its always good to see them taking a step back from swinging to spend time together and getting to know each other before inviting others.

Steve

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

The Other thing to add to that is how do they explain the many couples who meet through the scene and have happy long term relationships and in many cases marry? Xx

Good point. We know quite a few, including yourselves.

Although, when 2 fellow fabbers get together and start a relationship, its always good to see them taking a step back from swinging to spend time together and getting to know each other before inviting others.

Steve"

Yep and some do leave the scene too it happens we all know

Yes it's good to back off a little

We didn't so much because of the distance at the moment

But having said that for the first few months every time we were together ( and we actually see eachother a lot more than some think)

We did just have us time and that is very important xx

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

We're happily in love 100 %. Nothing hidden, we consider and realise one anothers fantasies as we see fit and when the opportunity arises.

Most couples that choose not to swing will have fantasies of some description, happy perhaps just to fanatsise. One or both of you can bet your last pound look around at others when horny, some choosing to cheat whether that be an isolated incident or not, others serially.

A guy from work is in an awfully uncomfortable situation that beats them both up. Neither can stand one another going out and god forbid them even talking to a member of the opposite sex.

A few friends of mine have also stated that I cannot love Mrs FJ by 'letting' her have fun with another guy. They miss the point entirely. She is everything to me, I want her to be happy and totally fulfilled, either teamed up playing MMF with her in mind or just taking a back seat during proceedings to watch her being enjoyed and enjoying.

I know she feels the same, we often watch one another when we're both busy getting jiggy with it.

Neither of us have loved before like we do each other and we doubt that'll ever change.

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

im single but the many couples i have encountered on the forums have, to my mind got very loving relationships,and it comes across very strongly just in the way they interact on here,i think from what iv seen of so called normal relationships and swinging relationships,i know which one i would prefer

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Its the "let" part that makes me laugh. Noone lets me do anything i do it cause i want to

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By *ap AdgeMan
over a year ago

Wirral

yes it brilliant not to be possessive

and what a turn n seeing you partner enjoy themselves the sex i have had after wards has been mind blowing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seen a few comments recentlyn chat, off singles saying that couples cant be in if they swing, they must have something wrong in their relationship if they are on a swinging site.

Now, excuse me for been ignorant here…. but wasnt swinging originated from couples getting together with other couples. Without couples then there is NO swinging.

LOL

Steve

"

Often a question that has crawled across my mind, "can singles swing", well yes, we just cant "wife swap" (and hold on why is it wife-swapping and not husband-swapping?, doesnt that imply that the woman is a possession (might be too many ss'ss, tired)).

As for Soapy being in love and he and his partner still swinging, well as Granny said (and granny knows....) Both Soapy and said lady have moved beyond the "physical possession (see above) stage.

What they are (perhaps), is emotional exclusive, physically liberal? Love is not about owning things, its about (for me), seeing the people you love as happy, content and when the chips are down, right there beside you (or behind you cowering), ready to take the hit with you (or run for help, lol).

Can singles swing? Yes but really its just being promiscuous (which is ok, nothing to feel bad about), and obviously have not found someone they are willing to give up their independence for (and may never, nor be looking), perhaps, the kind of person that singles could become more emotionally involved with are "possessive" singles, who think its ok to share someone elses partner, but would refuse to do the same (i.e. happy to swing single, but change tack with a partner).

I am sure this doesnt answer any questions you have Soapy and if it kills your thread (I have a habit of doing that), my apologies

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its the "let" part that makes me laugh. Noone lets me do anything i do it cause i want to"

Lol Di that's why I put the let in quotes

Do you really think Wendy would let me let her?

Pmsl xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well (and this is just because I am an objectional bugger)

Just because you get married doesn't mean that you will be happy for ever......

I'm not suprised that most vanilla's don't understand how any one would be happy with their partner having an intimate relationship with someone else. They would view it as cheating (I suspect). That's why their lives are vanilla....I would also suspect that many have cheated on their partners (at least once.....)

I also suspect that those lads (and I presume it's all lads) who tell your partner that they can get from them what they are missing from you aren't realy swingers, they are just blokes who have lost their way from the Clubs and Pubs (assuming that Swinging is different to a One Night Stand)....

Personaly, I would suspect that there are 'bad' mariages in the lifestyle as there are in real life, but an awfull lot more good ones as, on the whole, cheating and the persecution of sexual jelousy is largely removed.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am sure this doesnt answer any questions you have Soapy and if it kills your thread (I have a habit of doing that), my apologies"

Apparently not, though my post was 'brewing' for a while.....

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Its the "let" part that makes me laugh. Noone lets me do anything i do it cause i want to

Lol Di that's why I put the let in quotes

Do you really think Wendy would let me let her?

Pmsl xx "

Exactly same as me or jay letting each other do something

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I also suspect that those lads (and I presume it's all lads) who tell your partner that they can get from them what they are missing from you aren't realy swingers, they are just blokes who have lost their way from the Clubs and Pubs (assuming that Swinging is different to a One Night "

That bit fortunately has never been said to any of my partners ( it was said by a couple on another thread)

I can see where you are coming from and realise it's perception

It's just something that has always got my goat so to speak

And people who are just out for a quick shag really need to to keep stum because their attitude won't really wash with many

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we have been looking at htis and noticed that a lot of swingers are in thier 2nd, or 3rd, and so on, relationships.

now, we have no idea as to why, or how this happens, but, for our own personal situation, its because we are a lot older and more comfortable with each other. with our exes we thought it was love, but since being with each other, the feelings are so much more intense that our other relationships pale into insignificance.

dont know wether others feel the same, but we think you cant do this without 100% trust, respect and love between you.

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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester

Agreed totally

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