FabSwingers.com forum: Who is allowed to attend socials?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

New people are usually told to attend socials. But some socials around the country will only allow verified people. Or Forum Friends.

Are new people really welcome? What are your experiences?

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

The Bristol social doesn’t allow single men

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I was told I was too old to attend a social

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Attended my first last night, they were very friendly and welcoming

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I do go to a different social where there is no problems with my age and we have a great time

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When I had a new profile and was unverified I couldn't mail the social organiser to ask for an invite because they blocked all unverified.

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I've been to 2 Liverpool socials and the MLS, both of them were very welcoming and I had a great time x

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

The group socials that I've attended welcomed everybody. I had a fantastic time at them, and made some amazing friends

Would I go to socials that had restrictions in place? No.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

The MLS gets it right, in my opinion.

They allow anyone but there’s a guest list so that there’s a good balance of singles and couples.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

The Hastings social is good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found the one I went to very odd

People in pre-made groups, didn't come out of those groups or engage with others

None of the friendliness I had expected, no cameraderie at the bar, just silence and then back into their little groups

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By *robinsonMan
over a year ago

Alton

The Liberations club meet in Portsmouth only really allows couples or single women with very select amount of single men to join. In a way I understand it otherwise it would literally consist of mainly single men and not a good mix.

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By *r and mrs 1976Couple
over a year ago

Middle of Somewhere

"I was told I was too old to attend a social"
. Bit below the belt

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

The last one I attended the people were clicky and body language negative and if it hadn’t have been for one single man the organiser introduced me to I would have been alone! People had also said they would look out for me on the night and never did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the social, some are aimed specifically at unverified people, some at couples, some at women, etc. Just keep checking your local forum

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I’ve never organised a social but I suppose if you are organising then it can be your choice about the rules of attending.

I attend the MLS and I find them very inclusive and friendly. A great bunch of people attend, lots of new people each time. I would recommend it

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

As far as I know, the socials I've been to anyway, have guestlists to try and get an evenly matched mix of single men, women and couples x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went to a socail eurekas years ago felt out of place

Been to one in hastings which was a great night but didn't talk much as there was a drag act on

Would love some local to me...if i could pluck up the courage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Went to a socail eurekas years ago felt out of place

Been to one in hastings which was a great night but didn't talk much as there was a drag act on

Would love some local to me...if i could pluck up the courage"

Snap. We’d love one around our area.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

It's a double edged sword and a question of finding the right balance - allowing it to be a free for all would not work, making it completely exclusive wouldn't either.

I understand why some socials place restrictions on who can attend, just as I understand why some clubs restrict who can attend on specific nights.

Ultimately it's down to those that put a lot of time and effort into organising it, usually at their own cost, to decide how they want to run it - if people don't like it then there are plenty of others they can attend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the liverpool one we attended welcomed all.

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

I’ve been to countless socials and as far as I’m aware there have only been restrictions on numbers. I don’t tend to hear about the ones that aren’t aimed at people like me anyhow so I’m not missing out.

At socials I’m the annoying one who infiltrates groups of people to say hullo. I’ve never had a negative reaction thank goodness. I doubt it would put me off though.

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

We’ve been to three different ones (a couple more than once) I didn’t even realise there were rules on age or if you’re veri’d or not! I know most places put a limit on single guys or there would just be too many! Every one recommends socials to newbies as it’s a way of getting to actually talk to people face to face and finally get that first Veri to put them on the road to more fun!

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"New people are usually told to attend socials. But some socials around the country will only allow verified people. Or Forum Friends.

Are new people really welcome? What are your experiences?"

Back in the day when I was a newbie I got an invite to a group social.

Had a great time, very inclusive and a great bunch of people.

Since then I've regularly been to group socials in London, Brighton, Manchester and Leicester.

Always found the same, very welcoming.

Social hosts do a great job, often have some tough choices to make and put in a Hell of a lot of work to make them happen.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I’ve attended the Secret London Tea Party in the early days a few times. Always well organised and inclusive and lovely people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The last one I attended the people were clicky and body language negative and if it hadn’t have been for one single man the organiser introduced me to I would have been alone! People had also said they would look out for me on the night and never did.

I went to that one and had a very different perception of it. It was what brought me back onto fab. There were a lot of people looking for others to talk to I felt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve attended the Secret London Tea Party in the early days a few times. Always well organised and inclusive and lovely people. "

But isn’t that for regular forum users only? It can’t be that inclusive!

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By *harlotte SometimesWoman
over a year ago

Leafy Warwickshire

Went to one a couple of years ago local to me and it was held in a function room at a popular social club. Not much interaction. Most there already knew each other and there were kids running in and out of the room from the main part of the club. The entertainment included a lady walking around the room in a sweetie bra asking for guesses on how many sweets it contained. Think the prize was “all you can eat”!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I’ve attended the Secret London Tea Party in the early days a few times. Always well organised and inclusive and lovely people.

But isn’t that for regular forum users only? It can’t be that inclusive!"

The one I went to had a mix of regular forum users and people I'd never seen on the forums

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By *hatterbox 2Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

depends on the social we have been to some where its very klicky and noone spoke

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I’ve attended the Secret London Tea Party in the early days a few times. Always well organised and inclusive and lovely people.

But isn’t that for regular forum users only? It can’t be that inclusive!"

It is inclusive, inclusive of people who use the forums.

Anyone who doesn't use the forums won't see the thread invites. Ergo.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whoever the person arranging them decides.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve attended the Secret London Tea Party in the early days a few times. Always well organised and inclusive and lovely people.

But isn’t that for regular forum users only? It can’t be that inclusive!

The one I went to had a mix of regular forum users and people I'd never seen on the forums

Some people see the thread and message privately. They aren't all regular posters on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I found the one I went to very odd

People in pre-made groups, didn't come out of those groups or engage with others

None of the friendliness I had expected, no cameraderie at the bar, just silence and then back into their little groups"

I try to mingle and talk to as many people as possible, but one I went to there was a group of people in one corner who stood in a circle all the time I was there and made no effort to circulate.

If I had stayed longer I might have thrown myself in the midst and did a little happy dance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve attended the Secret London Tea Party in the early days a few times. Always well organised and inclusive and lovely people.

But isn’t that for regular forum users only? It can’t be that inclusive!

The one I went to had a mix of regular forum users and people I'd never seen on the forums

Some people see the thread and message privately. They aren't all regular posters on the forums.

Fair enough. I thought the original premise was those posting on the forums only.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I’ve attended the Secret London Tea Party in the early days a few times. Always well organised and inclusive and lovely people.

But isn’t that for regular forum users only? It can’t be that inclusive!

The one I went to had a mix of regular forum users and people I'd never seen on the forums

Some people see the thread and message privately. They aren't all regular posters on the forums.

Exactly - my point entirely

If something is organised "on" the forums it's bound to attract forum users whether they be regular posters or just readers

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I went to that one and had a very different perception of it. It was what brought me back onto fab. There were a lot of people looking for others to talk to I felt."

I found it clicky and suited to couples. What made it worse was the three people who had chatted on here with me and were apparently experienced at attending social events never spoke to me. Also there was no mingling. It’s made me nervous of attending another....

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By *ust chilled out meMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"New people are usually told to attend socials. But some socials around the country will only allow verified people. Or Forum Friends.

Are new people really welcome? What are your experiences?"

I've recently started attending a local social to me I've found them very friendly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve attended the Secret London Tea Party in the early days a few times. Always well organised and inclusive and lovely people.

But isn’t that for regular forum users only? It can’t be that inclusive!"

Name kinda sounds exclusive....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are social events. People have to be prepared to make an effort to introduce themselves and talk. If you stand around with a glass in your hand waiting for people to come to you, then you’re likely to be disappointed.

Having said that, not all hosts make an effort to introduce people to others or help out those who clearly don’t know anyone. And I’ve heard lots of stories of couples being unwilling to talk to single men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've enjoyed socials over the years. The STP is Forum users only and the MLS seems to be a mix of Forum and none Forum users but you have to put your name down pronto as spaces fill up quickly. The Birmingham Social I attended seemed to be none Forum users. All have been very welcoming and friendly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve attended the Secret London Tea Party in the early days a few times. Always well organised and inclusive and lovely people.

But isn’t that for regular forum users only? It can’t be that inclusive!

Name kinda sounds exclusive.... "

Its secret from the outside world.

Unless you're an utter knob, a sex pest, can't behave in public, I'm sure you would be ok to join in.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

There is a very busy organised socials scene in South Wales.

There are larger ones, and small ones too.

The main issue I have is around security, a couple of socials have been "outed" to the press, with one closing down as a result.

This is why some only allow verified users.

Another issue is the number of dropouts from "single" guys... one social had 40 guys on the list... half a dozen turned up. Popular socials can end up being full, and genuine people will be told they are on a reserve list... but as the guys who drop out (for the most part) never contact the organiser in advance to say they cant make it, there is no way of knowing how many will actually attend, meaning genuine people will miss out.

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By *iss SinWoman
over a year ago

portchester

I want to start my own for everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was told I would be not welcomed if I attended. Because I had a (SINGLE) profile on (fab).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mls this year was mine and hubby's first one. Everyone was great very welcoming and friendly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm only interested in Lounge/Forum based socials, only because I want to eventually meet some who I talk to on here, interact in much the same way in person.

A bunch of random people? Not for me I don't think, it'd feel very much like going to a club where you know nobody.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was told I would be not welcomed if I attended. Because I had a (SINGLE) profile on (fab)."

So, subsequently I will not attend (socials) for the fear of (embarrassment / being ignored and ridiculed).

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I do a mini social every week. We go to a local pub quiz and anyone that wants to join us can PM for the pub details. It’s worked well and could be done by others locally where you live. It also helps newbies to get verified.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do a mini social every week. We go to a local pub quiz and anyone that wants to join us can PM for the pub details. It’s worked well and could be done by others locally where you live. It also helps newbies to get verified. "

That’s a great idea!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social?? What is this you talk of...lol

Being a man im doomed anyway...

so, to be told?? yes please..

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I’ve attended the Secret London Tea Party in the early days a few times. Always well organised and inclusive and lovely people.

But isn’t that for regular forum users only? It can’t be that inclusive!

Name kinda sounds exclusive.... "

Secret isn't the same as exclusive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is fascinating! Nice to read about all the mixed reviews and people's experiences. I am posting because this thread is going to have a direct result in helping people. Thanks OP!

"I found the one I went to very odd

People in pre-made groups, didn't come out of those groups or engage with others

None of the friendliness I had expected, no cameraderie at the bar, just silence and then back into their little groups

I try to mingle and talk to as many people as possible, but one I went to there was a group of people in one corner who stood in a circle all the time I was there and made no effort to circulate.

If I had stayed longer I might have thrown myself in the midst and did a little happy dance.

Haha dancing can be a great ice breaker

As a social butterfly this is one of the hot topics for me. Love socials and always telling fellow Fabbers about them. Will share some things in here because I constantly get asked to organise them, but I used to organise big events outside of Fab so don't really want to use my time to do that on here. There are so many well organised ones throughout the UK I just attend to support, share, mix and mingle

The STP mentioned in here held in London - I have been and can confirm it was very welcoming!

The number one thing is the organiser(s) how their mindset/attitude is to a certain extent can be reflected into the social. This also has some affect on people's experience and if they will return/recommend to others.

Newbies/first timers/lurkers:

Keep an eye on this thread because it already has good info on the topic from other posters. More to come...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not me, way beyond my bed time

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

I think a far better way of getting people talking to strangers is going for dinner or doing something where you have to interact like the lady does for the pub quiz, much better than walking about like a lost soul

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Firstly let me say that who the organisers of socials invite is entirely up to them. How people behave at the social is beyond their control and I don't expect anyone to talk to me if they don't want to. Venues are sometimes too small to include everyone who wants to come.

In an ideal world I think socials should be inclusive affairs with everyone welcome. If you attend a social you need to be outward facing whoever you are because to me the idea is to make friends rather than just chat to people you think you have a chance of shagging

We've been to quite a few. The most successful had no limits on the guest list, the hosts greeted everyone at the door etc.

Obviously everyone will have a different idea but I think everyone but those who have been proven to behave badly should be able to attend.

Unfortunately there aren't any close enough at which we're welcome, we used enjoy a good chat with people who got it

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By *edoriartyCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Firstly let me say that who the organisers of socials invite is entirely up to them. How people behave at the social is beyond their control and I don't expect anyone to talk to me if they don't want to. Venues are sometimes too small to include everyone who wants to come.

We've been to quite a few. The most successful had no limits on the guest list, the hosts greeted everyone at the door etc.

Obviously everyone will have a different idea but I think everyone but those who have been proven to behave badly should be able to attend.

Unfortunately there aren't any close enough at which we're welcome, we used enjoy a good chat with people who got it

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

We have been to quite a few socials,including MLS and found them all to be inclusive and great fun.

We do join in and try to speak to as many as we can ,I think if you go with the right attitude,you will enjoy.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only been to two MLS socials but they completely changed how I see fab. I was a nervous wreck the first time and only spoke to a handful of people. The second was lovely to reconnect with those I met first time and then to mingle more and find lots of faces I liked from the forums.

The bigger ones do seem more forum than general fab but that's not surprising when so many friendships have formed across the country. They're very welcoming and truly a great day..

It depends on the person as to what they expect from events like this.. if you go to try and pull you may well be disappointed.. If you go to make genuine friends you'll have a blast. Like anything, it's more about what you put in as an individual.

Anyone could take the plunge and organise events if they chose.. and their event would reflect what they wanted from their day. Open invite could allow a disproportionate list.. many no shows.. too many guests.. etc.. rules balance things to what the organiser is happy with being responsible for.

You'll never please everyone but huge kudos to those that use their spare time to organise anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"depends on the social we have been to some where its very klicky and noone spoke "

It can depend on the social. Here are some things I will add in general. A few already covered by other posters so re-confirming:

• Friends organise to catch up at socials so can appear to be not very inclusive and friendly.

• People can be shy. Stay in comfort zone. Not able to make first move/approach. Sometimes people just want to go and look... don't want to talk for their first experience. Or want others to approach them, but if two people come together like it's like a stand off... neither brave enough to say something first so sometimes it takes an independent "cheeky" one to introduce/break the ice

• Interesting how at an event people can have different experiences... that does depend on the individual(s) how you interact or attempt to with others. There is a difference in being socially friendly and a pest! If people are not interested for what ever reason in engaging with you don't follow them around.

• No means no even if it is just for conversation. Focus on the people that do want to get to know you.

• Fab socials are one of the most fun activities you can participate in. Do your research before attending. Have communication with others. Most of the bigger well organised ones do display the full guest list in forums and/or on their profile.

• Treat it as a night out as you normally would outside of Fab. Having no expectations like with anything means you could avoid disappointment.

• Surprise surprise - you just never know who you could bump into... imagine that someone on your friend/hotlist and they happen to be at the same event. Be prepared for the unexpected and go with the flow. If your a hugger share them

• Recognised social events are held in a safe environment with many fellow like minded Fabbers attending to enjoy their time just as much as you. If you're approach is friendly with no hidden motives the opportunity for you to make new friends is highly likely.

Body language:

Is a powerful thing. Much more then words... people can sense if something is off... be genuine in your approach. If you're a liar, troublemaker etc it is easier to get away with it online behind a screen, but not that simple in person. In my experience from all the different socials I been to only two people I came across in person where their body language was completely "off" one was a woman in London and the other a man in Manchester. I kept my distance and mixed with everyone else.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Some of the ones near me used to specify a certain number of verifications needed to attend their social.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I found the one I went to very odd

People in pre-made groups, didn't come out of those groups or engage with others

None of the friendliness I had expected, no cameraderie at the bar, just silence and then back into their little groups"

Keep an eye out for the MLS, it's friendly people. Not like that one we went to!

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

One thing to think about, which is often overlooked until it bites you on the arse, is the location of the social. If it is in a public location, local to where you live or work, be prepared to he outted as a swinger. You have absolutely no control over how the other attendees behave, some love to brag to others that they are out with a bunch of swingers.....yep them over there. Unfortunately they could be talking to someone who you know in vanilla life. So think about that..... Yep people can be indiscrete dicks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Went to one a couple of years ago local to me and it was held in a function room at a popular social club. Not much interaction. Most there already knew each other and there were kids running in and out of the room from the main part of the club. The entertainment included a lady walking around the room in a sweetie bra asking for guesses on how many sweets it contained. Think the prize was “all you can eat”!

That sounds like Proper Swingers.

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

It's up to the person but normally everyone on site are welcome at social best way to meet nice people

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There is a very busy organised socials scene in South Wales.

There are larger ones, and small ones too.

The main issue I have is around security, a couple of socials have been "outed" to the press, with one closing down as a result.

This is why some only allow verified users.

That makes sense.

I remember the Scotland one a few years ago that was outed to the press and had to be cancelled.

The Alton Towers one attracted the press too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Brilliant!

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Townhouse does a newbies pub night too x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"depends on the social we have been to some where its very klicky and noone spoke

It can depend on the social. Here are some things I will add in general. A few already covered by other posters so re-confirming:

• Friends organise to catch up at socials so can appear to be not very inclusive and friendly.

• No means no even if it is just for conversation. Focus on the people that do want to get to know you.

• Treat it as a night out as you normally would outside of Fab. Having no expectations like with anything means you could avoid disappointment.

Body language:

Are you on commission?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Townhouse does a newbies pub night too x"
Where is Townhouse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I'm only interested in Lounge/Forum based socials, only because I want to eventually meet some who I talk to on here, interact in much the same way in person.

A bunch of random people? Not for me I don't think, it'd feel very much like going to a club where you know nobody. "

That's what the STPs were for. To meet people you interacted with on the forums, in person.

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By *iss SinWoman
over a year ago

portchester

"depends on the social we have been to some where its very klicky and noone spoke

It can depend on the social. Here are some things I will add in general. A few already covered by other posters so re-confirming:

• Friends organise to catch up at socials so can appear to be not very inclusive and friendly.

• No means no even if it is just for conversation. Focus on the people that do want to get to know you.

• Treat it as a night out as you normally would outside of Fab. Having no expectations like with anything means you could avoid disappointment.

Body language:

Are you on commission?"

Bit rude when he’s offering good advice

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Townhouse does a newbies pub night too xWhere is Townhouse? "

On the Wirral, just through the tunnel from Liverpool x

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"New people are usually told to attend socials. But some socials around the country will only allow verified people. Or Forum Friends.

Are new people really welcome? What are your experiences?"

Whoever the organisers want to attend. Luckily most that I have been to have had a fairly open door policy.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"depends on the social we have been to some where its very klicky and noone spoke

It can depend on the social. Here are some things I will add in general. A few already covered by other posters so re-confirming:

• Friends organise to catch up at socials so can appear to be not very inclusive and friendly.

• No means no even if it is just for conversation. Focus on the people that do want to get to know you.

• Treat it as a night out as you normally would outside of Fab. Having no expectations like with anything means you could avoid disappointment.

Body language:

Are you on commission?"

I doubt it, in my experience organisers of socials don't have paid staff.

What he's doing is offering experience based information.

A lot of people find that kind of thing helpful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've enjoyed socials over the years. The STP is Forum users only and the MLS seems to be a mix of Forum and none Forum users but you have to put your name down pronto as spaces fill up quickly. The Birmingham Social I attended seemed to be none Forum users. All have been very welcoming and friendly. "

It only took me 4 years to attend STP! Did not go to the earlier ones and therefore missed out on meeting some of the ones that have left Fab or don't attend socials now. I know would have got on well with them having mutual friends

I almost made it to the MLS, but the date was not good for me! The communication with the organisers was great and I was really looking forward to it, but can only imagine it being good/welcoming because missed out. People have been telling me about it for years. It's great to see many different socials get mentioned in threads like these because the majority have still not heard of them... I know right!? Where have those Fabbers been

The other major ones not mentioned yet:

Darlington and Newcastle socials!!

If you're looking for friendly/welcoming, engaging and all inclusive they are for you. I have attended and always vouch for them. Hugely successful events run by the same organiser. Bluey! Actually I heard she was green at a recent one

When I mentioned in one of my previous posts about organsiser's attitude/mindset she will not admit it or take any form of credit, but we are so lucky she is a Fabber! Whoop! Whoop! Her awesome personality just filters through and 100s of people have a great time!

New tag:

#PrimeExample

Onto the Midlands...

My new'ish home! Exploring what's out there and will share once I have experienced more of the social scene. Sometimes it's nice to just attend the ones closer. Means less mileage/travel unless you love road trips and make it all part of the fun build up

To all the fellow active/keen socialise butterflies:

The next time you attend an event if possible try to take a friend that has never been or pre-arrange to meet at the venue to give them a warm welcome. I know some of you have already been doing that for years... sharing is caring

I will give my opinion/point of view on verification's later if thread is still open.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Went to a socail eurekas years ago felt out of place

Been to one in hastings which was a great night but didn't talk much as there was a drag act on

Would love some local to me...if i could pluck up the courage"

We should organise a Kent social! X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The other major ones not mentioned yet:

Darlington and Newcastle socials!!

New tag:

#PrimeExample

Onto the Midlands...

To all the fellow active/keen socialise butterflies:

I will give my opinion/point of view on verification's later if thread is still open."

I'm liking your posts very much.

Great idea about taking a friend or arranging to meet someone. I think most socials have threads and people can get chatting on there so it's less daunting on the day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would be crap at that but nice idea

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"One thing to think about, which is often overlooked until it bites you on the arse, is the location of the social. If it is in a public location, local to where you live or work, be prepared to he outted as a swinger. You have absolutely no control over how the other attendees behave, some love to brag to others that they are out with a bunch of swingers.....yep them over there. Unfortunately they could be talking to someone who you know in vanilla life. So think about that..... Yep people can be indiscrete dicks."

A very good point - the MLS I attended, which was incredibly well organised, and held in a private area of a bar, suffered slightly because someone did exactly what you suggested and resulted in a few looky loos from the general public - absolutely nothing the organisers could do about it of course but you do think some people would show some discretion.

Mind you on the same day at an after event one member of the group was holding court loudly at the other end of the table from me talking about experiences and meets - takes all sorts, but again shows how different people have different ideas of what discretion is.

Guess all anyone can do is be aware, some hold different values, and accept the risk or not

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Ok...The STPs, I know...very mearly made it to several but ended up having to work elsewhere in the country at short notice.

However, I’m completely behind the times...what does the MLS stand for?

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

"They are social events. People have to be prepared to make an effort to introduce themselves and talk. If you stand around with a glass in your hand waiting for people to come to you, then you’re likely to be disappointed.

I’m guilty of standing there with a glass in my hand. But always had fun and enjoyed them!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Ok...The STPs, I know...very mearly made it to several but ended up having to work elsewhere in the country at short notice.

However, I’m completely behind the times...what does the MLS stand for?"

Manchester Lounge Social

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Townhouse does a newbies pub night too xWhere is Townhouse?

On the Wirral, just through the tunnel from Liverpool x"
Thanks

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Townhouse does a newbies pub night too xWhere is Townhouse?

On the Wirral, just through the tunnel from Liverpool xThanks "

You're welcome x

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Ok...The STPs, I know...very mearly made it to several but ended up having to work elsewhere in the country at short notice.

However, I’m completely behind the times...what does the MLS stand for?

Manchester Lounge Social

*facepalms* Of course it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can only imagine its hard for hosts. Especially on dynamics as no-one wants too many single guys. Not even single guys (they all want to be invited. But wouldn't want to turn up to a sausage party). And it does change the dynamic based on being at clubs.

It also helps with "swinging safety" a bit more. Couples will tend to be more discreet given everyone's in the same boat. Tho I'm equally as wary of single girls... As girls tend to talk more!!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Some of the ones near me used to specify a certain number of verifications needed to attend their social.

Usually 3, preferably "play" veries, requested because Press will attend events, but not get "involved", one way of filtering out potential spys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m guilty of standing there with a glass in my hand. But always had fun and enjoyed them! "

Perhaps badly phrased, but I do see people looking a bit stand offish and that can be intimidating for others. It may be that they are shy too, but a smile and a bit of eye contact can go a long way.

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"There is a very busy organised socials scene in South Wales.

There are larger ones, and small ones too.

The main issue I have is around security, a couple of socials have been "outed" to the press, with one closing down as a result.

This is why some only allow verified users.

That makes sense.

I remember the Scotland one a few years ago that was outed to the press and had to be cancelled.

The Alton Towers one attracted the press too. "

Oh yeah. I remember a pic of me and I think it was Bladey in The Daily Star. They had taken it off our profiles and then said something like I was gonna have all the sex on the corkscrew. I never even got any!

I'd organise another social though despite the intrusion and the false hope.

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

"New people are usually told to attend socials. But some socials around the country will only allow verified people. Or Forum Friends.

Are new people really welcome? What are your experiences?"

If non verified I'll chat to them and get a sense about them. I do have newbies attend mine and thru have all been fab additions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been to on of the London STP. It was well attended with mainly forum users but a few non-users in the mix too.

I was nervous about how it would be but it was a lot of fun.

Sometimes when people are seated around tables chatting in groups it feels quite hard to go up and start talking. However, it’s a social and that’s the whole point, take a leap of faith and dive in...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can only imagine its hard for hosts. Especially on dynamics as no-one wants too many single guys. Not even single guys (they all want to be invited. But wouldn't want to turn up to a sausage party). And it does change the dynamic based on being at clubs.

It also helps with "swinging safety" a bit more. Couples will tend to be more discreet given everyone's in the same boat. Tho I'm equally as wary of single girls... As girls tend to talk more!! "

Men tend to brag to their mates down their pub. I know what you mean though.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

It also helps with "swinging safety" a bit more. Couples will tend to be more discreet given everyone's in the same boat. Tho I'm equally as wary of single girls... As girls tend to talk more!!

Men tend to brag to their mates down their pub. I know what you mean though.

In the instance I cited further up the person holding court and loudly discussing Fab meets openly in a public area wasn't a bloke - lack of discretion is not limited to any one gender

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I was told I was too old to attend a social"

It's when I rock up in ma latex catsuit as Alice Winger that it becomes a problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was told I was too old to attend a social

It's when I rock up in ma latex catsuit as Alice Winger that it becomes a problem

*fapping

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

"New people are usually told to attend socials. But some socials around the country will only allow verified people. Or Forum Friends.

Are new people really welcome? What are your experiences?"

Ive been to several, including when I was very new and have always felt very welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve enjoyed the socials I’ve been to. And was made to feel very welcome especially turning up on my own as mr was working. Have been to the STP and MLS and everyone is so friendly. Was a nice mix of people and with exception of one person no idiots. Have made some great friends along the way x

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"depends on the social we have been to some where its very klicky and noone spoke

It can depend on the social. Here are some things I will add in general. A few already covered by other posters so re-confirming:

• Friends organise to catch up at socials so can appear to be not very inclusive and friendly.

• No means no even if it is just for conversation. Focus on the people that do want to get to know you.

• Treat it as a night out as you normally would outside of Fab. Having no expectations like with anything means you could avoid disappointment.

Body language:

Well said that man

socials are what you make them. I’ve been to a couple one was dire and MLS was really good, met some great people, avoided those I chose not to interact with for whatever personal reason. I believe MLS is FAB members only and worth attending. When you meet people face to face it creates a whole different aspect of fab life.... and hopefully mutual respect.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

The other major ones not mentioned yet:

Darlington and Newcastle socials!!

New tag:

#PrimeExample

Onto the Midlands...

To all the fellow active/keen socialise butterflies:

I will give my opinion/point of view on verification's later if thread is still open."

I have some lovely MLS veris on my profile. A good representation of those I met and mutual positive vibes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It also helps with "swinging safety" a bit more. Couples will tend to be more discreet given everyone's in the same boat. Tho I'm equally as wary of single girls... As girls tend to talk more!!

Men tend to brag to their mates down their pub. I know what you mean though.

In the instance I cited further up the person holding court and loudly discussing Fab meets openly in a public area wasn't a bloke - lack of discretion is not limited to any one gender

What's your point? I didn't say only one gender is indiscreet. They said women talk, I said men talk too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"depends on the social we have been to some where its very klicky and noone spoke

It can depend on the social. Here are some things I will add in general. A few already covered by other posters so re-confirming:

• Friends organise to catch up at socials so can appear to be not very inclusive and friendly.

• No means no even if it is just for conversation. Focus on the people that do want to get to know you.

• Treat it as a night out as you normally would outside of Fab. Having no expectations like with anything means you could avoid disappointment.

Body language:

Well said that man

Why was one dire? In what way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Liberations club meet in Portsmouth only really allows couples or single women with very select amount of single men to join. In a way I understand it otherwise it would literally consist of mainly single men and not a good mix."

I have been to sevel Portsmouth liberation and there is plenty of single men, but they do get the balance right in my opinion. Clubs are different to socials though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/05/19 00:42:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you on commission?"

No, just passionate about socials.

For the record:

I don't think that was rude and you're not the first person to ask me that. Probably won't be the last either. For those that don't know me when I post on important topics like this I share my experience/knowledge on actual events.

Before I continue...

I have just read something! Brb

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

It also helps with "swinging safety" a bit more. Couples will tend to be more discreet given everyone's in the same boat. Tho I'm equally as wary of single girls... As girls tend to talk more!!

Men tend to brag to their mates down their pub. I know what you mean though.

In the instance I cited further up the person holding court and loudly discussing Fab meets openly in a public area wasn't a bloke - lack of discretion is not limited to any one gender

What's your point? I didn't say only one gender is indiscreet. They said women talk, I said men talk too. "

My point, as if it wasn't obvious enough, was that all genders/categories are capable of being indiscreet (even, as was the case here, so called "popular" forumites) - wasn't suggesting for a minute that you had, or hadn't said anything at all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It also helps with "swinging safety" a bit more. Couples will tend to be more discreet given everyone's in the same boat. Tho I'm equally as wary of single girls... As girls tend to talk more!!

Men tend to brag to their mates down their pub. I know what you mean though.

In the instance I cited further up the person holding court and loudly discussing Fab meets openly in a public area wasn't a bloke - lack of discretion is not limited to any one gender

What's your point? I didn't say only one gender is indiscreet. They said women talk, I said men talk too.

Apologies. We agree.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"depends on the social we have been to some where its very klicky and noone spoke

It can depend on the social. Here are some things I will add in general. A few already covered by other posters so re-confirming:

• Friends organise to catch up at socials so can appear to be not very inclusive and friendly.

• No means no even if it is just for conversation. Focus on the people that do want to get to know you.

• Treat it as a night out as you normally would outside of Fab. Having no expectations like with anything means you could avoid disappointment.

Body language:

Well said that man

Why was one dire? In what way?"

Location, people, atmosphere...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will."

Why? If you'd rather not say, that's ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will.

Why? If you'd rather not say, that's ok."

Firstly, weekends are my time for family activities or with my non-Fab friends. If I am going out anywhere it would usually be with them.

Secondly, the politics of the forum and and Fab are something I do my best thing avoid. It seems socials are a breeding ground for it.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will.

Why? If you'd rather not say, that's ok.

Firstly, weekends are my time for family activities or with my non-Fab friends. If I am going out anywhere it would usually be with them.

Secondly, the politics of the forum and and Fab are something I do my best thing avoid. It seems socials are a breeding ground for it."

On the first point that's totally understandable

On the second, they can be, and I've heard of some most unpleasant stuff around them - mercifully the perpetrators are usually easily avoided

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By *ust chilled out meMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Just been to one and it was great had a great laff and a few drinks to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will.

Why? If you'd rather not say, that's ok.

Firstly, weekends are my time for family activities or with my non-Fab friends. If I am going out anywhere it would usually be with them.

Secondly, the politics of the forum and and Fab are something I do my best thing avoid. It seems socials are a breeding ground for it.

On the first point that's totally understandable

On the second, they can be, and I've heard of some most unpleasant stuff around them - mercifully the perpetrators are usually easily avoided

"
And by avoiding those perpetrators more political nonsense is created.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will.

Why? If you'd rather not say, that's ok.

Firstly, weekends are my time for family activities or with my non-Fab friends. If I am going out anywhere it would usually be with them.

Secondly, the politics of the forum and and Fab are something I do my best thing avoid. It seems socials are a breeding ground for it.

On the first point that's totally understandable

On the second, they can be, and I've heard of some most unpleasant stuff around them - mercifully the perpetrators are usually easily avoided

And by avoiding those perpetrators more political nonsense is created."

Only if they choose to create it, and if you've risen above it you can't get dragged down by it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will.

Why? If you'd rather not say, that's ok.

Firstly, weekends are my time for family activities or with my non-Fab friends. If I am going out anywhere it would usually be with them.

Secondly, the politics of the forum and and Fab are something I do my best thing avoid. It seems socials are a breeding ground for it.

On the first point that's totally understandable

On the second, they can be, and I've heard of some most unpleasant stuff around them - mercifully the perpetrators are usually easily avoided

And by avoiding those perpetrators more political nonsense is created.

Only if they choose to create it, and if you've risen above it you can't get dragged down by it

So if you have two friends who are enemies who do you choose?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will.

Why? If you'd rather not say, that's ok.

Firstly, weekends are my time for family activities or with my non-Fab friends. If I am going out anywhere it would usually be with them.

Secondly, the politics of the forum and and Fab are something I do my best thing avoid. It seems socials are a breeding ground for it.

On the first point that's totally understandable

On the second, they can be, and I've heard of some most unpleasant stuff around them - mercifully the perpetrators are usually easily avoided

And by avoiding those perpetrators more political nonsense is created.

Only if they choose to create it, and if you've risen above it you can't get dragged down by it

So if you have two friends who are enemies who do you choose?"

A difficult and thorny question which ultimately comes down to a matter of personal judgement and weighing up the situation, whilst also taking into account personal needs and desires.

I would say though that missing out on something you want to do purely to keep the peace is not always the answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will.

Why? If you'd rather not say, that's ok.

Firstly, weekends are my time for family activities or with my non-Fab friends. If I am going out anywhere it would usually be with them.

Secondly, the politics of the forum and and Fab are something I do my best thing avoid. It seems socials are a breeding ground for it.

On the first point that's totally understandable

On the second, they can be, and I've heard of some most unpleasant stuff around them - mercifully the perpetrators are usually easily avoided

And by avoiding those perpetrators more political nonsense is created.

Only if they choose to create it, and if you've risen above it you can't get dragged down by it

So if you have two friends who are enemies who do you choose?

A difficult and thorny question which ultimately comes down to a matter of personal judgement and weighing up the situation, whilst also taking into account personal needs and desires.

I would say though that missing out on something you want to do purely to keep the peace is not always the answer."
I don’t feel as though I am missing out

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will.

Why? If you'd rather not say, that's ok.

Firstly, weekends are my time for family activities or with my non-Fab friends. If I am going out anywhere it would usually be with them.

Secondly, the politics of the forum and and Fab are something I do my best thing avoid. It seems socials are a breeding ground for it.

On the first point that's totally understandable

On the second, they can be, and I've heard of some most unpleasant stuff around them - mercifully the perpetrators are usually easily avoided

And by avoiding those perpetrators more political nonsense is created.

Only if they choose to create it, and if you've risen above it you can't get dragged down by it

So if you have two friends who are enemies who do you choose?

A difficult and thorny question which ultimately comes down to a matter of personal judgement and weighing up the situation, whilst also taking into account personal needs and desires.

I would say though that missing out on something you want to do purely to keep the peace is not always the answer. I don’t feel as though I am missing out"

And if that's the case then fair enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

@OP and Stingly - Thanks

And to the other posters for continuing to share their experiences. Great thread!

However...

@DC I was in here with bullet points... bullet points! To try and get my thoughts across to the Fab World... then you come in with:

"When you meet people face to face it creates a whole different aspect of fab life.... and hopefully mutual respect"

"Positive vibes"

God damn it DC !! You're absolutely right and on point. Loved reading that and smiling. That is exactly the opportunity people will have should they choose to socialise. All the rest of us can do is keep sharing and when the time is right more Fabbers will attend. Mutual respect and positive vibes you know... amen to that! I have already read your veri's DC. Thank you

Onto Verifications:

A few have mentioned some organisers do want to check to confirm. The need for this has become vital because of "spoilers" unfortunately there are people that will have no intention of attending and just phishing... they try to obtain location info and other details. Some examples on why:

Personality clashes/jealousy

Been banned for rude/unwanted behaviour

Creating multiple/duplicate profiles to "spy"

Sharing details to those not on guest list

Sabotage!

Organisers go through enough as it is when using their valuable time for the rest of us. All the last minute changes/problems then on top of that have to deal with "spoilers". So please don't feel it is personal if you get asked to reveal veri's.

I will share something else another time because it is important for those that find themselves in "certain" circumstances involving socials... I don't think it has been covered yet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will.

Why? If you'd rather not say, that's ok.

Firstly, weekends are my time for family activities or with my non-Fab friends. If I am going out anywhere it would usually be with them.

Secondly, the politics of the forum and and Fab are something I do my best thing avoid. It seems socials are a breeding ground for it.

On the first point that's totally understandable

On the second, they can be, and I've heard of some most unpleasant stuff around them - mercifully the perpetrators are usually easily avoided

And by avoiding those perpetrators more political nonsense is created.

Only if they choose to create it, and if you've risen above it you can't get dragged down by it

So if you have two friends who are enemies who do you choose?

A difficult and thorny question which ultimately comes down to a matter of personal judgement and weighing up the situation, whilst also taking into account personal needs and desires.

I would say though that missing out on something you want to do purely to keep the peace is not always the answer. I don’t feel as though I am missing out

And if that's the case then fair enough

Flippin heck Doc and G this is the "certain" circumstances bit I was going to cover another time!

You mentioned:

"Politics of the forum and Fab... socials are a breeding ground for it..."

"Mutual friends you know happen to be *enemies* " point scoring

This is one of the major downfalls of the independent person... in other words... if you happen to be in the middle... what do you do!?

I will share exactly how I deal with this touchy/thorny subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the few socials that I’ve attended, I’ve actually had a good time and didn’t really feel left out.

I’m sure the OP remembers when I first started getting myself out there in the club scene, I was quite nervous and I wasn’t the usual ‘type’ that many would have expected to see/meet/be attracted to.

I have made many friends from there and it’s always been a good laugh. I know many have left now, and it’s relatively fresh faces on here (from what I can see anyway). So, it’s kind of back to making new friends again.

OP, you’ve always made the socials fab.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will.

Why? If you'd rather not say, that's ok.

Firstly, weekends are my time for family activities or with my non-Fab friends. If I am going out anywhere it would usually be with them.

Secondly, the politics of the forum and and Fab are something I do my best thing avoid. It seems socials are a breeding ground for it.

On the first point that's totally understandable

On the second, they can be, and I've heard of some most unpleasant stuff around them - mercifully the perpetrators are usually easily avoided

And by avoiding those perpetrators more political nonsense is created.

Only if they choose to create it, and if you've risen above it you can't get dragged down by it

So if you have two friends who are enemies who do you choose?"

Why should we choose?

If I think its going to be an issue, I will explain it to both parties, and leave them in no doubt that we will not play "piggy in the middle", we are at a social to network, make new friends, touch base with old friends, and have a nice night out, not get involved in petty squabbles.

If necessary we will sit separately from both parties so as not to ostracise one or the other, and as we move around the venue, we will meet up with each from time to time.

(Swinging) life is too short to be bothering with that shit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"From the few socials that I’ve attended, I’ve actually had a good time and didn’t really feel left out.

OP, you’ve always made the socials fab.

I don't really know what the usual 'type' is. But I do remember that even though you were nervous, you chatted to people and made friends. "Pops!!" was the call, much like when Norm went in the Cheers bar.

You're a good egg.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will.

Why? If you'd rather not say, that's ok.

Firstly, weekends are my time for family activities or with my non-Fab friends. If I am going out anywhere it would usually be with them.

Secondly, the politics of the forum and and Fab are something I do my best thing avoid. It seems socials are a breeding ground for it.

On the first point that's totally understandable

On the second, they can be, and I've heard of some most unpleasant stuff around them - mercifully the perpetrators are usually easily avoided

And by avoiding those perpetrators more political nonsense is created.

Only if they choose to create it, and if you've risen above it you can't get dragged down by it

So if you have two friends who are enemies who do you choose?

Why should we choose?

If necessary we will sit separately from both parties so as not to ostracise one or the other, and as we move around the venue, we will meet up with each from time to time.

(Swinging) life is too short to be bothering with that shit.

Great post, love it! "Ostracise" is the key word!

I will get back to this asap to continue my post and share more for those interested

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will.

Why? If you'd rather not say, that's ok.

Firstly, weekends are my time for family activities or with my non-Fab friends. If I am going out anywhere it would usually be with them.

Secondly, the politics of the forum and and Fab are something I do my best thing avoid. It seems socials are a breeding ground for it.

On the first point that's totally understandable

On the second, they can be, and I've heard of some most unpleasant stuff around them - mercifully the perpetrators are usually easily avoided

And by avoiding those perpetrators more political nonsense is created.

Only if they choose to create it, and if you've risen above it you can't get dragged down by it

So if you have two friends who are enemies who do you choose?

Why should we choose?

If necessary we will sit separately from both parties so as not to ostracise one or the other, and as we move around the venue, we will meet up with each from time to time.

(Swinging) life is too short to be bothering with that shit.

Great post, love it! "Ostracise" is the key word!

I will get back to this asap to continue my post and share more for those interested

I'm interested.

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By *iss SinWoman
over a year ago

portchester

"I am yet to attend one and still not sure I ever will.

Why? If you'd rather not say, that's ok.

Firstly, weekends are my time for family activities or with my non-Fab friends. If I am going out anywhere it would usually be with them.

Secondly, the politics of the forum and and Fab are something I do my best thing avoid. It seems socials are a breeding ground for it."

True words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

I’ve been to two MLS’ and they have both been great, it’s a social, and it’s as social as you are as a person, I haven’t noticed any politics myself but then again I wasn’t looking for any, I went to socialise and meet new likeminded people which I did

the same goes for Jo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

the same goes for Jo

D."

I'm social. It's more forum politics that concerns me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

You will by September.. it's not a true reflection of a bloody good day out with a room full of cracking people... and that's from an antisocial bugger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

You will by September.. it's not a true reflection of a bloody good day out with a room full of cracking people... and that's from an antisocial bugger."

I don't think so. You lot go do your thing, enjoy yourselves. I'll hang out with The Doc instead.

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

The other major ones not mentioned yet:

Darlington and Newcastle socials!!

New tag:

#PrimeExample

Onto the Midlands...

To all the fellow active/keen socialise butterflies:

I will give my opinion/point of view on verification's later if thread is still open."

I attended the Newcastle social a couple of weeks ago it was my first one. I was made to feel really welcome and made some friends via a kik group beforehand.

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By *iss SinWoman
over a year ago

portchester

I don’t think the forum regulars realise how unfriendly the forum can be esp if U have a differing viewpoint to a popular - u get attacked!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only time I asked to attend I got messed about and in the end decided it wasn't worth the grief.

Shame because at the time there were lots of forumeers I would have like to meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t think the forum regulars realise how unfriendly the forum can be esp if U have a differing viewpoint to a popular - u get attacked!!"

You mean like you calling people psycho on the cheating thread?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Politics

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places

"I don’t think the forum regulars realise how unfriendly the forum can be esp if U have a differing viewpoint to a popular - u get attacked!!

You mean like you calling people psycho on the cheating thread?"

Do women in libraries and Ann Summers stores wear iced party ring confectionery on their nipples?

Just wondering...

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By *iss SinWoman
over a year ago

portchester

"Politics"

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By *iss SinWoman
over a year ago

portchester

"I don’t think the forum regulars realise how unfriendly the forum can be esp if U have a differing viewpoint to a popular - u get attacked!!

You mean like you calling people psycho on the cheating thread?

Do women in libraries and Ann Summers stores wear iced party ring confectionery on their nipples?

Just wondering..."

No and they aren’t called minge either lol

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By *iss SinWoman
over a year ago

portchester

"I don’t think the forum regulars realise how unfriendly the forum can be esp if U have a differing viewpoint to a popular - u get attacked!!

You mean like you calling people psycho on the cheating thread?"

Plus people like to twist words when I call situations psycho not people but why let the truth get in the way lol

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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

"I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

Shame

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i have said in the past i would want no part of a social that place restrictions on certain types of people going.....

of the 10 years of socials i have been to.... never been to one where single men have outnumbered single women and couples going.....

as soon as single men realise that socials mean "socialising" and is not some sort of codeword for "orgy" a lot drop out...(too much work actually talking to people!)

what sorts of socials should be described as socials is a different subject... and i think socials should be completely 100% non play affairs...

so some of the socials that are advertised here as such should not be!

as for the other stuff... politics... blah blah blah, pragmatic time.... you are not going to like everyone, everyone is not going to like you.... some try way too hard to be liked.....

post and be damned.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

Shame "

Not a reflection on the Social or it's organisers I hasten to add. It's more Forum politics.

There are people here I think are awesome. There are others who think I'm a bit of a cock.

If I could pick and choose who was going, I'd go. I've little interest in hanging out with those I don't like, anymore than they'd want to hang with me. All crocodile smiles.

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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

"I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

Shame

Not a reflection on the Social or it's organisers I hasten to add. It's more Forum politics.

There are people here I think are awesome. There are others who think I'm a bit of a cock.

If I could pick and choose who was going, I'd go. I've little interest in hanging out with those I don't like, anymore than they'd want to hang with me. All crocodile smiles. "

There will always be forum politics but with 100 people in attendance it's easy enough to talk to the people you want to and ignore those you don't. I accept it's not everyone's cup of tea however

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can chose not to be part of forum politics as much as you can chose not to be part of socials politics.

I’ve seen swingers politics in various groups. We’re here to swing, not get engaged in that shit. We’re friends with who we want to be friends with and play with who we want to play with. If others don’t like it they’re neither our friends or playmates. It’s that simple really.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

Shame

Not a reflection on the Social or it's organisers I hasten to add. It's more Forum politics.

There are people here I think are awesome. There are others who think I'm a bit of a cock.

If I could pick and choose who was going, I'd go. I've little interest in hanging out with those I don't like, anymore than they'd want to hang with me. All crocodile smiles.

There will always be forum politics but with 100 people in attendance it's easy enough to talk to the people you want to and ignore those you don't. I accept it's not everyone's cup of tea however

Exactly this - people you don't want anything to do with are easily enough avoided, you don't have to "hang out" with anyone you don't want to

It's no different from the works Xmas do, there will always be those there that you don't get on with, so you just avoid them.

Ultimately though, your choice whether you attend or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t think the forum regulars realise how unfriendly the forum can be esp if U have a differing viewpoint to a popular - u get attacked!!"

This is sadly too frequently the.case

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

Shame

Not a reflection on the Social or it's organisers I hasten to add. It's more Forum politics.

There are people here I think are awesome. There are others who think I'm a bit of a cock.

If I could pick and choose who was going, I'd go. I've little interest in hanging out with those I don't like, anymore than they'd want to hang with me. All crocodile smiles.

There will always be forum politics but with 100 people in attendance it's easy enough to talk to the people you want to and ignore those you don't. I accept it's not everyone's cup of tea however

Exactly this - people you don't want anything to do with are easily enough avoided, you don't have to "hang out" with anyone you don't want to

It's no different from the works Xmas do, there will always be those there that you don't get on with, so you just avoid them.

Ultimately though, your choice whether you attend or not."

I'm not a big fan of work parties either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t think the forum regulars realise how unfriendly the forum can be esp if U have a differing viewpoint to a popular - u get attacked!!

This is sadly too frequently the.case

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

Shame

Not a reflection on the Social or it's organisers I hasten to add. It's more Forum politics.

There are people here I think are awesome. There are others who think I'm a bit of a cock.

If I could pick and choose who was going, I'd go. I've little interest in hanging out with those I don't like, anymore than they'd want to hang with me. All crocodile smiles.

There will always be forum politics but with 100 people in attendance it's easy enough to talk to the people you want to and ignore those you don't. I accept it's not everyone's cup of tea however

Exactly this - people you don't want anything to do with are easily enough avoided, you don't have to "hang out" with anyone you don't want to

It's no different from the works Xmas do, there will always be those there that you don't get on with, so you just avoid them.

Ultimately though, your choice whether you attend or not.

I'm not a big fan of work parties either.

I’m glad I haven’t needed to go to a works do for 25 years, except for Christmas dinners with a small group of friends I happen to work with.

I am less bothered about picking and choosing who I choose to socialise than getting embroiled in some of the drama that ensues.

I stopped meeting 5 years ago and took an 8 month break, because my Fab life became too dramatic for my liking. I have no wish to go there again. Now I have finally decided to dip my toe back in the water, I have no intention of chucking myself in the deep end, while I’m still doing doggy paddle.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

Shame

Not a reflection on the Social or it's organisers I hasten to add. It's more Forum politics.

There are people here I think are awesome. There are others who think I'm a bit of a cock.

If I could pick and choose who was going, I'd go. I've little interest in hanging out with those I don't like, anymore than they'd want to hang with me. All crocodile smiles.

There will always be forum politics but with 100 people in attendance it's easy enough to talk to the people you want to and ignore those you don't. I accept it's not everyone's cup of tea however

Exactly this - people you don't want anything to do with are easily enough avoided, you don't have to "hang out" with anyone you don't want to

It's no different from the works Xmas do, there will always be those there that you don't get on with, so you just avoid them.

Ultimately though, your choice whether you attend or not.

I'm not a big fan of work parties either.

Me either - other analogies are available...weddings, barmitzvahs, sergeants mess parties

The point is, while I agree socials aren't for everyone, and agree that politics, and in more than one case I'm aware of behind the scenes unpleasantness has gone on, they're also a good way to meet people that you interact with on here on a daily basis but wouldn't necessarily want to meet one to one and it's easy to rise above and not get involved in the politics, or at least ignore the perpetrators of it that are in attendance - it's what I did at the last one I was at (despite their best efforts) and I had a great time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think people are easily avoided if I'm honest. Not if it's like any other social gathering.

Some are totally inept at telling whether or not there may be friction.

Some impose themselves on you, regardless.

Some revel in creating social awkwardness.

Some people are rude.

I try to avoid conflict in here, I usually steer clear of the more controversial topics and people. I've had to adapt tiny elements of my personality to suit the rules of the Forum. Yet people still find me and attempt to rub me up the wrong way to get a reaction. Sometimes it works.

Having any of that done to me in person, wouldn't go down very well. With no rules to police my behaviour, I'm likely to bite back hard and fast.

Why put myself in a situation like that?

Why not just invite you, The Doc, Princess Peach, RoxiAnne and the other members of this bizarre little clan that I do like, to an event I've created?

I don't want to search through 100 people, some of whom don't even use the Forum regularly, to find the few I like and respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

Shame

Not a reflection on the Social or it's organisers I hasten to add. It's more Forum politics.

There are people here I think are awesome. There are others who think I'm a bit of a cock.

If I could pick and choose who was going, I'd go. I've little interest in hanging out with those I don't like, anymore than they'd want to hang with me. All crocodile smiles.

There will always be forum politics but with 100 people in attendance it's easy enough to talk to the people you want to and ignore those you don't. I accept it's not everyone's cup of tea however

Exactly this - people you don't want anything to do with are easily enough avoided, you don't have to "hang out" with anyone you don't want to

It's no different from the works Xmas do, there will always be those there that you don't get on with, so you just avoid them.

Ultimately though, your choice whether you attend or not.

I'm not a big fan of work parties either.

Me either - other analogies are available...weddings, barmitzvahs, sergeants mess parties

I can’t imagine you getting involved in politics, you always seem such a moderate voice of sanity.

I asked about the MLS a while ago but wasn’t made to feel particularly welcome. I think there was some drama at the time and I was mistakenly taken to be part of it. Receiving a second message saying ‘You would actually be welcome’ is never particularly inviting though.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I don’t think the forum regulars realise how unfriendly the forum can be esp if U have a differing viewpoint to a popular - u get attacked!!"

I agree that they're unfriendly. Not so sure about the attacking bit.

I think it's human nature though. Newness and naievety are rarely tolerated and in jokes abound.

I find myself frequently overlooked though and I'm about as regular on the forum as you can get.

PS being overlooked bothers me not one jot or tittle I merely use it to illustrate my point.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I wouldn't attend any socials that had restrictions. Working on organising my first one, hopefully summertime.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

see... this is where i would object to a social being held in a club a "social".... because its not...

i am going to sound old... but the whole point of the original socials theat were held and organised here were that they strictly non-play affairs, so people didn't have to worry about that, could get to know people, and IF they want to do stuff they could do that after....

they could be held anywhere because you knew nothing overly sexual was going to happen at them.....

the way that some socials are held know and the hijinxs that happens at them has corrupted the original ethos... and basically is asking for journo's to out them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

Shame

Not a reflection on the Social or it's organisers I hasten to add. It's more Forum politics.

There are people here I think are awesome. There are others who think I'm a bit of a cock.

If I could pick and choose who was going, I'd go. I've little interest in hanging out with those I don't like, anymore than they'd want to hang with me. All crocodile smiles.

There will always be forum politics but with 100 people in attendance it's easy enough to talk to the people you want to and ignore those you don't. I accept it's not everyone's cup of tea however

Exactly this - people you don't want anything to do with are easily enough avoided, you don't have to "hang out" with anyone you don't want to

It's no different from the works Xmas do, there will always be those there that you don't get on with, so you just avoid them.

Ultimately though, your choice whether you attend or not.

I'm not a big fan of work parties either.

Me either - other analogies are available...weddings, barmitzvahs, sergeants mess parties

Snap.. didn't speak to half of the people but made sure I accosted lots of people I liked.. was ace

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t think the forum regulars realise how unfriendly the forum can be esp if U have a differing viewpoint to a popular - u get attacked!!

This is sadly too frequently the.case

There will always be arseholes though.. I was really badly picked on by a couple of people for months and they made commenting on anything a misery.. but I refused to let that be acceptable. I challenged their crap and reported their nasty comments and eventually it stopped. There's so much people don't see sometimes on both sides.

Now I'm happy popping on for a chat and asking random things I'm thinking about. I just avoid threads or comments that don't sit well and enjoy my time as I choose.

Doesn't get to me anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems fab politics are unavoidable. Even in a thread where people say they avoid them.

It's as tho fab is full of human beings.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It seems fab politics are unavoidable. Even in a thread where people say they avoid them.

It's as tho fab is full of human beings. "

Human beings. Definitely not.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm with Witchdoctor.

I wanted to attend the Forum based socials at one point. I don't think I do anymore, for the same reasons he gave. Politics.

Shame

Not a reflection on the Social or it's organisers I hasten to add. It's more Forum politics.

There are people here I think are awesome. There are others who think I'm a bit of a cock.

If I could pick and choose who was going, I'd go. I've little interest in hanging out with those I don't like, anymore than they'd want to hang with me. All crocodile smiles.

There will always be forum politics but with 100 people in attendance it's easy enough to talk to the people you want to and ignore those you don't. I accept it's not everyone's cup of tea however

Exactly this - people you don't want anything to do with are easily enough avoided, you don't have to "hang out" with anyone you don't want to

It's no different from the works Xmas do, there will always be those there that you don't get on with, so you just avoid them.

Ultimately though, your choice whether you attend or not.

I'm not a big fan of work parties either.

Me either - other analogies are available...weddings, barmitzvahs, sergeants mess parties

I can’t imagine you getting involved in politics, you always seem such a moderate voice of sanity.

I had similar but it was because of some thread I'd posted at the time. Me being a cock and pissing people off. They still said I was welcome to attend if I wanted to.

So I did and they're a friendly bunch of people. They gave me a chance and even though I was on my own (and a cock!), they invited me over to sit with them. -A few groups of people, not just one.

I like GeminiMan's analogy of a work's do. So true!

There will never be a group of people where we know and like every single one of them. Surely we can be adults and chat to people but avoid any who we don't get on with.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

As a social organiser it’s bloody awful to arrange. I’d have ANYONE to mine and keeping tally of a guest list is almost like a full-time job! What let’s it down is the single men that ask to come and then just don’t when you’ve said no to other single men (& feel like an evil sod) to try keep the numbers even.

Maybe I shall try arrange a ‘newbie only’ social so everyone feels they are in the same boat together xx

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I don't think people are easily avoided if I'm honest. Not if it's like any other social gathering.

Some are totally inept at telling whether or not there may be friction.

Some impose themselves on you, regardless.

Some revel in creating social awkwardness.

Some people are rude.

Having any of that done to me in person, wouldn't go down very well. With no rules to police my behaviour, I'm likely to bite back hard and fast.

Why put myself in a situation like that?

Why not just invite you, The Doc, Princess Peach, RoxiAnne and the other members of this bizarre little clan that I do like, to an event I've created?

I don't want to search through 100 people, some of whom don't even use the Forum regularly, to find the few I like and respect.

Having attended socials myself it really is easy to focus on the people you want to focus on and avoid those you don't though - a simple "I'm off for a wee" or "Just popping to the bar" is all it takes

You get rude people, or those that try and impose on you in all manner of situations the key is whether you let them do so, or concentrate on your own personal enjoyment.

Ultimately though I'm not trying to persuade you to attend one - it's your choice whether you do or you don't - but they *are* a good way of meeting people you otherwise wouldn't have.

Likewise there's nothing at all wrong with organising a more personalised gathering of like minds - there is no either/or

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Check profile is fake x

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Check profile is fake x"

What profile? Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think people are easily avoided if I'm honest. Not if it's like any other social gathering.

Some are totally inept at telling whether or not there may be friction.

Some impose themselves on you, regardless.

Some revel in creating social awkwardness.

Some people are rude.

Having any of that done to me in person, wouldn't go down very well. With no rules to police my behaviour, I'm likely to bite back hard and fast.

Why put myself in a situation like that?

Why not just invite you, The Doc, Princess Peach, RoxiAnne and the other members of this bizarre little clan that I do like, to an event I've created?

I don't want to search through 100 people, some of whom don't even use the Forum regularly, to find the few I like and respect.

You get rude people, or those that try and impose on you in all manner of situations the key is whether you let them do so, or concentrate on your own personal enjoyment.

Ultimately though I'm not trying to persuade you to attend one - it's your choice whether you do or you don't - but they *are* a good way of meeting people you otherwise wouldn't have.

Likewise there's nothing at all wrong with organising a more personalised gathering of like minds - there is no either/or

Yes, it's easy to brush people off. I've done it before. You know me though, I'm not shy of confrontation and there is good reason that I'm the way I am. People will walk all over you if you allow it.

I don't let people impose themselves on me. I don't back away quietly, I don't make fake excuses. If someone is going to be aggressive, passive-aggressive or blatantly rude with me. They get it back ten-fold, which is why I occasionally find myself in hot water on here. Why shouldn't they get a taste of their own medicine? You can't expect to treat someone in that manner without consequence.

I know you're not trying to convince me Gman. I get what you're saying, for most people it's good advice. It's just not applicable to my personality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think people are easily avoided if I'm honest. Not if it's like any other social gathering.

Some are totally inept at telling whether or not there may be friction.

Some impose themselves on you, regardless.

Some revel in creating social awkwardness.

Some people are rude.

Having any of that done to me in person, wouldn't go down very well. With no rules to police my behaviour, I'm likely to bite back hard and fast.

Why put myself in a situation like that?

Why not just invite you, The Doc, Princess Peach, RoxiAnne and the other members of this bizarre little clan that I do like, to an event I've created?

I don't want to search through 100 people, some of whom don't even use the Forum regularly, to find the few I like and respect.

You get rude people, or those that try and impose on you in all manner of situations the key is whether you let them do so, or concentrate on your own personal enjoyment.

Ultimately though I'm not trying to persuade you to attend one - it's your choice whether you do or you don't - but they *are* a good way of meeting people you otherwise wouldn't have.

Likewise there's nothing at all wrong with organising a more personalised gathering of like minds - there is no either/or

I know you're not trying to convince me Gman. I get what you're saying, for most people it's good advice. It's just not applicable to my personality.

For some of us, there most definately is an either/or.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

Socials are not the same as the forums in my experience. The socials are much more friendly and welcoming than on here and there isn’t someone waiting to pounce on everything you say.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

For some of us, there most definately is an either/or."

I meant more from the perspective of neither concept is more "right" than the other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first joined I thought it would be a great help but got refused said not what they wanted to attend told my FB at the time so she applied for us as a couple replied would be great to see a New couple attend we didn't go for me most were up there own arses not much changed always limited single guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t imagine you getting involved in politics, you always seem such a moderate voice of sanity.

I had similar but it was because of some thread I'd posted at the time. Me being a cock and pissing people off. They still said I was welcome to attend if I wanted to.

So I did and they're a friendly bunch of people. They gave me a chance and even though I was on my own (and a cock!), they invited me over to sit with them. -A few groups of people, not just one.

I like GeminiMan's analogy of a work's do. So true!

There will never be a group of people where we know and like every single one of them. Surely we can be adults and chat to people but avoid any who we don't get on with. "

Meh. I don’t feel that anyone should be ‘giving me a chance’ given that the drama at the time was nothing to do with me. It feels too much like sucking up to the cool kids for me. There are plenty of local socials and parties that I can enjoy. But thank you for attempting to enthuse me about MLS.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"When I first joined I thought it would be a great help but got refused said not what they wanted to attend told my FB at the time so she applied for us as a couple replied would be great to see a New couple attend we didn't go for me most were up there own arses not much changed always limited single guys "

And yet it’s the people at the socials that aren’t pleasant? That’s not really a very nice comment about people.

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I'm organising my own social and only I'm invited. I'm gonna have a blast. Watch out for my veri.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

These days I’d rather have a sleep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"These days I’d rather have a sleep. "

Me too

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

"These days I’d rather have a sleep. "

Carry me home, someone?

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I want to be last on this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was told I was too old to attend a social"
Well that's me buggered too then!

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

*coo-eeee Seduced!*

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