FabSwingers.com forum: Being rejected

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Do you think it's worse to get rejected by appearance first, or personality first (blind date)?

Picture coming up to a number of people and all they would do is say yes or no depending on how you look.

Or you sit down with a number of people with a wall between you so you can't see each other and talk for around 10 minutes each, after that they decide whether they want to meet you again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't bother me either way tbh. I'd rather someone passed me by than pursued me without there being an attraction

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must be both or it will be friend zoned

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Do you think it's worse to get rejected by appearance first, or personality first (blind date)?

Picture coming up to a number of people and all they would do is say yes or no depending on how you look.

Or you sit down with a number of people with a wall between you so you can't see each other and talk for around 10 minutes each, after that they decide whether they want to meet you again.

Hmm, depends on who Newbie n never had social?....if personality is cause then meet would be crap anyway if it's looks then also not my kind of person.

If it was someone I'd met and they cut contact without saying why it would probably bug me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather be rejected for my looks. I know I'm not the prettiest girl and we all have different preferences and that's totally fine.

Getting rejected because of your personality feels much more personal, it's who you are and not just your outer shell. I know it's the same kinda thing where we can't just click with everyone but I would be questioning myself and what I did wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind rejection for any reason. I prefer that than have them let me believe I'm desirable to them, before disappearing without trace.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are so many reasons for being rejected. I used to rejection so have built up my immunity. Being rejected for having a shit personality would cause me to question myself more than being seen as fugly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m sort of used to being rejected on my looks, and that’s fine as I know I’m not classicly pretty. But personality it would sting a bit as that’s my selling point I think x

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By *ocodoughnutgirlWoman
over a year ago

Sea of jelly and doughnuts

Being rejected for my looks, not a problem.

For my personality... I'd be more than a little taken aback and would wonder what was wrong with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The raggy dolls are rejects, they did fine.

I'd say don't label yourself or be labelled by others. If someone doesn't want to know you and you class it as rejection maybe reassess your thinking, as it's not healthy to feel you're being rejected, surely?.

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By *rwhowhatwherewhyMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

For me rejection is just rejection, what ever it was based on. Either way I will blame myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've known some I have talked with for a long time and had some form of online connection before we met. When we did, they have taken one look and run the other way. I may be fugly on the outside but it's strange that on here connections can be made, then broken in seconds in the real world.

Or maybe not that strange things are often very superficial here, and what others see is what others see. You cant change that OP.

Finding that point where personality and looks meet, it's no different here to out in the real world, but then again why would it be....

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By *robinsonMan
over a year ago

Alton

I'd rather be rejected for my looks as that can be a fairly simple fix relative to that of fixing your personality.

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

If I'm rejected then they are wrong and I hate them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd rather be rejected for my looks. I know I'm not the prettiest girl and we all have different preferences and that's totally fine.

Absolutely this.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I can change my looks.

I can't and won't change my personality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take me as I am or not at all...

Might sound harsh but if you don’t want me looks or personality for who I am so be it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For those of us who are not drop dead gorgeous, my advice is personality wins every time....that and a filthy imagination!

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By *thena123Woman
over a year ago

Swansea

I don't tend to take notice of people around me anymore, I'm just me I'm not everyone's cup of tea but hey neither was Shrek... If people don't like me for my looks or personality then it's not my fault, I Am who I Am and I'm not changing myself for nobody...xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wouldn't bother me either way tbh. I'd rather someone passed me by than pursued me without there being an attraction "

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By *rHandsomeHunkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"If I'm rejected then they are wrong and I hate them. "

I always get rejected on the site but don't think I would in person lol x

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"If I'm rejected then they are wrong and I hate them.

I always get rejected on the site but don't think I would in person lol x"

I'm sure you're just lovely jubbley. Don't look at it as rejection. They just haven't met you yet.

Jesus! Did I just quote Michael Buble?

Too much forums for me today.

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By *rHandsomeHunkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"If I'm rejected then they are wrong and I hate them.

I always get rejected on the site but don't think I would in person lol x

I'm sure you're just lovely jubbley. Don't look at it as rejection. They just haven't met you yet.

Haha well I think Im easy to get on with good sense of humour the only thing that's stopped me from having meets is I have not been verified yet but can't untill I meet so no win situation haha x

Jesus! Did I just quote Michael Buble?

Too much forums for me today. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not bothered if it's either. Looks wise, we're never going to be everyone's cup if tea and we accept that. Personality wise, we're never going to be everyone's cup of tea and we accept that...

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"If I'm rejected then they are wrong and I hate them.

I always get rejected on the site but don't think I would in person lol x

I'm sure you're just lovely jubbley. Don't look at it as rejection. They just haven't met you yet.

Haha well I think Im easy to get on with good sense of humour the only thing that's stopped me from having meets is I have not been verified yet but can't untill I meet so no win situation haha x

Jesus! Did I just quote Michael Buble?

Too much forums for me today. "

I have seen your earlier thread and the suggestions made by otter users that you join a club. It's a good idea.

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"If I'm rejected then they are wrong and I hate them.

I always get rejected on the site but don't think I would in person lol x

I'm sure you're just lovely jubbley. Don't look at it as rejection. They just haven't met you yet.

Haha well I think Im easy to get on with good sense of humour the only thing that's stopped me from having meets is I have not been verified yet but can't untill I meet so no win situation haha x

Jesus! Did I just quote Michael Buble?

Too much forums for me today.

I have seen your earlier thread and the suggestions made by otter users that you join a club. It's a good idea.

I otter be ashamed of myself. Damn otters!

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By *rHandsomeHunkMan
over a year ago

dudley

"If I'm rejected then they are wrong and I hate them.

I always get rejected on the site but don't think I would in person lol x

I'm sure you're just lovely jubbley. Don't look at it as rejection. They just haven't met you yet.

Haha well I think Im easy to get on with good sense of humour the only thing that's stopped me from having meets is I have not been verified yet but can't untill I meet so no win situation haha x

Jesus! Did I just quote Michael Buble?

Too much forums for me today.

I have seen your earlier thread and the suggestions made by otter users that you join a club. It's a good idea.

I otter be ashamed of myself. Damn otters!"

Gunna have to ent I, tried to find locals by me x

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I have recently been rejected due to a character trait. It bloody smarts.

But onwards I go. Searching for that elusive man who can tolerate my fanny and my moods.

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"I have recently been rejected due to a character trait. It bloody smarts.

But onwards I go. Searching for that elusive man who can tolerate my fanny and my moods.

Does your fanny have a lot to say for itself.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Rejection doesn't affect me. We can't be everyone's cup of tea physically nor can everyone's personality be compatible. For every one who rejects you, there may be one or more who won't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rejection doesn't affect me. We can't be everyone's cup of tea physically nor can everyone's personality be compatible. For every one who rejects you, there may be one or more who won't."

Totally this.

Why see it as rejection? You're just not compatible.

There are some strange people on here though who do strange things to get meets

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"I have recently been rejected due to a character trait. It bloody smarts.

But onwards I go. Searching for that elusive man who can tolerate my fanny and my moods.

Does your fanny have a lot to say for itself.

It doesn’t take being messed about, that’s all! Honest guv.

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

not bothered either way in the slightest

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I don't know. Probably personality. I've not been (rejected sounds really harsh and dramatic) turned down before but I imagine having a personality that someone I like, doesn't like, would be more momentarily meh then physically being turned down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most guys I've met aren't fussed about personality. They only seem interested in my looks and sex appeal and how I can pleasure them. But I guess if someone told me they didn't want to meet me because I'm say, not outgoing enough, too quiet or a miserable sod, I'd be more bothered than if they said you're an ugly munter. I can't really change my personality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I’m feeling rejected

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most guys I've met aren't fussed about personality. They only seem interested in my looks and sex appeal and how I can pleasure them. But I guess if someone told me they didn't want to meet me because I'm say, not outgoing enough, too quiet or a miserable sod, I'd be more bothered than if they said you're an ugly munter. I can't really change my personality. "

Gosh you sound perfect to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't tend to take notice of people around me anymore, I'm just me I'm not everyone's cup of tea but hey neither was Shrek... If people don't like me for my looks or personality then it's not my fault, I Am who I Am and I'm not changing myself for nobody...xxxx"

But Shrek is lovely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I'm rejected then they are wrong and I hate them.

I always get rejected on the site but don't think I would in person lol x

I'm sure you're just lovely jubbley. Don't look at it as rejection. They just haven't met you yet.

Jesus! Did I just quote Michael Buble?

Too much forums for me today. "

Michael Buble. Brilliant.

Singing it now...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Rejection isn't pleasant but its part of life. We're all rejected unknowingly in real life on a daily basis.

I would never put myself in a situation as described in the op though, the odds on the majority of people in a group finding you attractive or compatible on personality are pretty low why put yourself through that?

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

Tbh I wouldn’t be too concerned either way! I’m happy with both the way I look and my personality! I know both are far from perfect (I’m far from gorgeous, I have a gazillion thread veins, knobbly knees and boobs that NEED wire - some also find me too gregarious/outspoken - and I’m occasionally a little thoughtless!) However - I’m comfortable with me and I can’t significantly change who am - so if I’m not for them then chances are they’re not for me either!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rejection isn't pleasant but its part of life. We're all rejected unknowingly in real life on a daily basis.

Isn't that what we're doing on here though? They are deciding either because of the pics we have on show (mostly headless) or our personality in messages/ profile text.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Rejection isn't pleasant but its part of life. We're all rejected unknowingly in real life on a daily basis.

Isn't that what we're doing on here though? They are deciding either because of the pics we have on show (mostly headless) or our personality in messages/ profile text. "

yes we are, in the same way as in a night club or wherever . What I meant was I wouldn't put myself in the position of asking a group of people all at once if you see what I mean. For instance I wouldn't join in a "rate me out of 10" thread or a "what do you think of me" thread, not because I'm afraid of what they'd say but because I don't ask for public approval or disapproval, contact us or don't, turn us down if we contact you by all means

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neither would bother me.

If people reject me, they reject me. It isn’t a reflection on me, it’s just what they like/dislike.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rejection isn't pleasant but its part of life. We're all rejected unknowingly in real life on a daily basis.

Isn't that what we're doing on here though? They are deciding either because of the pics we have on show (mostly headless) or our personality in messages/ profile text.

Ah ok, yes that makes sense.

Same for me.

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

I've given up

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

"Do you think it's worse to get rejected by appearance first, or personality first (blind date)?

Picture coming up to a number of people and all they would do is say yes or no depending on how you look.

Or you sit down with a number of people with a wall between you so you can't see each other and talk for around 10 minutes each, after that they decide whether they want to meet you again.

Hmmm good question. Both are equally pretty shit. However meeting someone then being pied is far worse esp if you've slept wigh them and then they reject you in the future

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you think it's worse to get rejected by appearance first, or personality first (blind date)?

Picture coming up to a number of people and all they would do is say yes or no depending on how you look.

Or you sit down with a number of people with a wall between you so you can't see each other and talk for around 10 minutes each, after that they decide whether they want to meet you again.

I’m not bothered tbh I know my personality isn’t for everyone some of my best friends say when they first met me they thought I was fake and full of shit

now they know me they realise I have no filters and extremely talkative and proud of my achievements and get excited talking about my career etc the more I learn about my sons asd traits the more I see those in me, as for my looks I’m clearly a lot of peoples cup of tea because I often get lots of attention and can easily command a room but I think that’s because of my inner confidence(most of the time)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't imagine anyone likes being rejected on any level. But the fact is that it takes both an attraction to the face and a personality to really light the fire for many..

it is what it is.. we can't all be everyone's cup of tea and it's so much better for all when that mix is right.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

I think most people reject on looks first then personality clash or no chemistry I rarely reject on a persons personality alone they would have to be a complete idiot or nutter or bore for me to do that

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

It wouldnt bother me if i was rejected on personality. We cant get on with everyone. It doesnt mean youve got a shit personality just that your not compatable. In real world im quite popular and have the most amazing friends so one person wouldnt make me question myself. However, if i didnt have real life friends then i would take a good hard look at myself

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By *enchMan
over a year ago

glasgow

I get rejected loads on this site but nether in the clubs I now understand it a power thing for some people so I'm not bothered anymore

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I would be more bothered by being rejected because of my personality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It all depends on if it's happening all the time!

Let's get straight to the point. Most attempts at connection here are fairly superficial attempts at bedding someone else? It's not like you've fallen head over heels for someone you've known for years and you pluck the courage to reveal your feelings, to be told you've the personality of Mr Bean and the face of shreks left bollock.(no idea why the left one).

Couples and females can be picky here. But not always in the real world?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rejection... ?

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