FabSwingers.com forum: Best put down ever !

By *redj OP Man
over a year ago

gloucestershire

Come on give us your best put downs you have ever heard,

Directed at me whilst talking to a woman, love why would i want you in my knickers ? I already have one arsehole in here

ooooooo that hurt x

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

"Come on give us your best put downs you have ever heard,

Directed at me whilst talking to a woman, love why would i want you in my knickers ? I already have one arsehole in here

ooooooo that hurt x "
and my reply to her would of been yes I know I can smell it from here btw you’ve got skid marks

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By *redj OP Man
over a year ago

gloucestershire

"Come on give us your best put downs you have ever heard,

Directed at me whilst talking to a woman, love why would i want you in my knickers ? I already have one arsehole in here

ooooooo that hurt x and my reply to her would of been yes I know I can smell it from here btw you’ve got skid marks "
that would have made it a bit too personal !! I could have come back with, and your arse is obviously not fitted with ABS

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

A good few years ago, a friend of a girl my housemate was dating was out with us in a big group. She kicked me under the table, leaned forwards and said "If you're not careful I'm going to fuck you."

To which I replied;

"Then I'm going to be very, very careful."

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

If I wanted my cum back I would ask your mum..

Sorry it a bit horrible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I wanted my cum back I would ask your mum..

Sorry it a bit horrible. "

And Straight off a Jimmy Carr DVD

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"A good few years ago, a friend of a girl my housemate was dating was out with us in a big group. She kicked me under the table, leaned forwards and said "If you're not careful I'm going to fuck you."

To which I replied;

"Then I'm going to be very, very careful." "

Burn

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By *redj OP Man
over a year ago

gloucestershire

"If I wanted my cum back I would ask your mum..

Sorry it a bit horrible. "

Hahahaha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ou are such a cunt your mum and dad wish you had been a cum stain on the sheets, and that I had pulled out when I said I would.

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

After a bit of sexist chat from some guys standing near us in a pub one guy kind of grabbed his bits and said "why don't you get a hold of this" my pal sucked air through her teeth and said "left my tweezers at home mate, soz"

Most of the pub erupted laughing.

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By *enryotixMan
over a year ago

London

In secondary school, there was a new supply teacher that all of the boys had their eyes on (for two very large reasons).

During class one day she confiscated a condom from one of the most popular guys in school.

The teacher looked on speechless at the the boy, who by then had a smug look on his face and said "wanna try it out miss?"

She gave it back to him and said "I don't think so, I didn't know they made them this small"

Needless to say the boy's popularity wasn't quite the same after that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my teens when in a friends living room at a party I said to a girl "if I don't kiss you now I'm going to explode" she replied "well we need to go into the kitchen" I thought my luck was in and she just carried on "because tiled floors are so much easier to clean!"

We're still friends and I'm both embarrassed and impressed by her put down.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I walked home from work one evening.

I avoided the dark alley between work & my house, stuck to the main road, which takes me past the main village pub, frequented by d up chavs.

Group of young lads stood outside, couple starting jeering as I walked towards them

etc

One of them grabbed his groin "Comon darlin, wanna suck my cock"

He was about 19/20, 5'7" and 10st dripping wet. I looked him up & down, smiled.

"come see me when you've grown some pubes"

His friends were on the floorv

Even funnier a few weeks later, when I had to put him through an induction at the gym!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Outside a cafe at a table next to mine a woman asked me " Do you mind if I smoke?"...I replied "You could burst into flames as far as I'm concerned."

A guy who loved the attention his 'cute' puppy was getting from all the ladies outside the same cafe told me once "If you want to get a woman get a dog."..I replied "I don't need a dog I've got a personality"

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By *inn2000Woman
over a year ago

belfast

At the pub with ex hubby and his friend who was chatting up a lady at the bar. She was clearly getting annoyed with him so turned round, looked him and down and sneered , "Oh get lost! I wouldn't fuck you for practice!"

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By *redj OP Man
over a year ago

gloucestershire

"At the pub with ex hubby and his friend who was chatting up a lady at the bar. She was clearly getting annoyed with him so turned round, looked him and down and sneered , "Oh get lost! I wouldn't fuck you for practice!"

Oooooooo that is a one to remember

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got a rude message the other day, I replied something along the lines of, well that's 5 minutes of my life I won't get back, off you trot fella, it's hurting me to think down to your level.

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

My best put down was taking a grill pan out of the oven which I wasn’t expecting to be hot.

I managed to put it down onto the hob without burning myself or the worktop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most common one I've heard "............" Deleted.

Sorry this user is unavailable or has blocked you.

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By *redj OP Man
over a year ago

gloucestershire

You’re so damn ugly even a sniper wouldn’t look long enough to take you out

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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Mate and her sister were out one night and were circling a couple of guys at the bar. They started to chat to them and my mate mentioned they were sisters, to which the one guy asked where Cinderella was

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Mate and her sister were out one night and were circling a couple of guys at the bar. They started to chat to them and my mate mentioned they were sisters, to which the one guy asked where Cinderella was"

That's just made me spit my drink laughing x

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By *redj OP Man
over a year ago

gloucestershire

Not funny i suppose but it is bloody funny

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

No. Not even if it was made of cake.

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By *redj OP Man
over a year ago

gloucestershire

"No. Not even if it was made of cake. "

Ahhhhh I don’t know if most could resist if it were made of cake or chocolate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because you have hairs round your gob there's no need to talk like a **nt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because you have hairs round your gob there's no need to talk like a **nt.

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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

Work in with a guy who is the same age as my daughter.. I was rubbish about his mum (Who is hot) asking where he was born and inferring he could be mine as he has never known his real dad and I had been in the vicinity around that time.

Finished it with.

Nah, actually you are too fucking short to be my kid.

Another youngster tried to muscle in on a discussion about manscaping, asking why bother. I calmly turned round and said "Well when you grow up you get hair down below..." at which point all his mates started laughing at him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What would you say to a lttle fuck?"

"Hello little fuck!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No. Not even if it was made of cake. "

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By *ibbyhunterCouple
over a year ago

keighley

Woman to Groucho Marx sir if you were married to me I would poison you. to which he replied madam if I was married to you I would drink it .

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