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The Local Nutter

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

If you were going to be an eccentric weirdo… what sort of eccentric weirdo would you be?

Would you be the woman with 120 cats with all the windows boarded up and just a cat flap which the postman has to push your letters through .

Would you be the guy who built a working replica of a GNR 3 cylinder locomotive engine in the living room.

Would you own a shopping trolley?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cat woman purrrrrrr

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I will be the woman who is outwardly respectable that no ones suspects arranges meets for filthy illicit pension book swapping..... trolley tokens in the dish and away we gooooooo.

Who left the nappy in the hall ??

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

I'd be the weirdo who spends his time on an internet site, trying to arrange meets to have wild sex with other people (or not wild, whatever), when statistically, he'd be better off going into the street and asking random women for a BJ.

Hang on...

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,

And I shall spend my pension

on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals,

and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired,

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells,

And run my stick along the public railings,

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick the flowers in other people's gardens,

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat,

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go,

Or only bread and pickle for a week,

And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats

and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry,

And pay our rent and not swear in the street,

And set a good example for the children.

We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?

So people who know me

are not too shocked and surprised,

When suddenly I am old

and start to wear purple!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What makes you think you're NOT the village nutter??

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me,

And I shall spend my pension

on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals,

and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired,

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells,

And run my stick along the public railings,

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick the flowers in other people's gardens,

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat,

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go,

Or only bread and pickle for a week,

And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats

and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry,

And pay our rent and not swear in the street,

And set a good example for the children.

We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?

So people who know me

are not too shocked and surprised,

When suddenly I am old

and start to wear purple!

"

Love that Poem. Jenny Joseph wasn't it ?

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"What makes you think you're NOT the village nutter?? "

The children don't scream when they see me

But I'm working on it.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I am already a crazy cat lady!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be that old weirdo who races friends down the street naked in winter, swims in the sea naked, who has naked space-hopper races, who dances on bars and table-tops, leers at nice younger men .... oooer missus.

Shit ...... I am that village idiot!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would be like the old mad broad called rosie in my hometown that used to strip off for the boys on a saturday night in the middle of town xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

"

Great poem, love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we are talking hypertheticaly it would be something like anal hair man and collect hairs from unsuspecting ladies. I don't by the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll be one of these old fellas who appears on shows as a bodybuilder at eighty...and I can't wait to be honest, so long as I'm still getting action then!

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester


"If we are talking hypertheticaly it would be something like anal hair man and collect hairs from unsuspecting ladies. I don't by the way. "

What would you do with the hair once you had collected it?

Would you use it to stick on to your curtains and sofa?

Would you wash it first or leave it with a few bunny-bob-cling-ons?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"I'll be one of these old fellas who appears on shows as a bodybuilder at eighty...and I can't wait to be honest, so long as I'm still getting action then!"

As long as you don't mind banging someone in her 90s, you will be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like to live in a volcano slowly stroking my cat (Mr Bigglesworth) and hold the world to ransom mahahhahaha

or

Maybe collect flora and funghi whilst dressed as a fluffy bunny with mixi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd be that old weirdo who races friends down the street naked in winter, swims in the sea naked, who has naked space-hopper races, who dances on bars and table-tops, leers at nice younger men .... oooer missus.

Shit ...... I am that village idiot! "

with a naked fetish lol

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

What you mean IF im already known as the woman that owns tesco's cat

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By *he_original_polo OP   Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I think I’ll buy a convincing senior police officer’s uniform and stalk random motorists. I could chuck a packet of glucose powder wrapped in clingfilm into their car and threaten to have them arrested. I wouldn’t be forcing them to pleasure me, just blackmailing them…. before scooting away with the blue light flashing on my shopping trolley.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd be that old weirdo who races friends down the street naked in winter, swims in the sea naked, who has naked space-hopper races, who dances on bars and table-tops, leers at nice younger men .... oooer missus.

Shit ...... I am that village idiot!

with a naked fetish lol "

Think Lady Godiva on a bad day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll be one of these old fellas who appears on shows as a bodybuilder at eighty...and I can't wait to be honest, so long as I'm still getting action then!

As long as you don't mind banging someone in her 90s, you will be. "

I don't mind one iota, my sweet. Indeed bending you over your zimmer would be a pleasure...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i`d be hugh hefner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did someone call ???? thought I was the local nutter lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did someone call ???? thought I was the local nutter lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I'll be the crazy lady with the church hat, winter coat in the middle of summer riding the 185 from Victoria to Lewisham with my bible preaching to all the fornicators.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sTop PIcKing oN nutTers! YoU woUlDn'T lIke iT iFiTwAs YoU!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am the mad woman who goes camping in the middle of winter in a tent!

Another night with clear sky and sub-zero temperature.

The steak I took out from my thermoelectric cool box was not frozen when I took it out. However, it was frozen by the time I got round to cooking it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know about being the local nutter but I'm sure good at attracting them.

My first time away from home I got digs at house with a old couple (who I had grave doubts about, but my parents insisted I took them, because they were old), well the first thing I learned was their daughter, who was in an institution (not surprisingly), was called John, because they wanted a boy and wanted to call him John, so when they had a daughter they ignored that fact(very important in my opinion) and pressed on regardless.

But the woman apart from rattling on constantly, had a toy dog that she was convinced was real, fed it, bowls of water the lot. The husband never said a word, I was out of there within a month.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you were going to be an eccentric weirdo… what sort of eccentric weirdo would you be?

"

Me of course xx

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"

If you were going to be an eccentric weirdo… what sort of eccentric weirdo would you be?

Me of course xx "

such a nice one too xx

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By *amslam1000Man
over a year ago

willenhall

were all safe peeps lady gaga's on duty at the mo

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