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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Random thought of the day..

Of those that you speak to, do you know which consider you friendzoned and which are sexually open to meeting you at some point?

If you know you've friendzoned someone do you make it clear?

Would you prefer to know which you are or not?

And if you've met someone but don't want anymore than it was, are you also clear or do you let conversation fade?!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m clear. I have lots of lovely friends on here. Very very few I would get jiggy with. But I’m also up for just socials too so i think it has to be clear if it’s just a friend thing or not. I think it’s important to let someone know the score from the start on here. I’ve done that both times it’s gone further too.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

I have friends that I will never have sex with. I think they know.

I don’t think I’m as clear at times as I could be. I tend to let conversations dwindle rather than deal with things. I’m working on that.

As I rarely meet it’s not much of an issue and I don’t have many people on my friends list either. I prefer to keep things simple

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m clear. I have lots of lovely friends on here. Very very few I would get jiggy with. But I’m also up for just socials too so i think it has to be clear if it’s just a friend thing or not. I think it’s important to let someone know the score from the start on here. I’ve done that both times it’s gone further too. "

I think so too.. I just wonder how many people are as clear as they could be on here and without meaning malice leading people on...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where i am now all but one is friendzoned but there all fittys im sure they will cope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't envision having sex with anyone on my friends list, I don't think any of them would be interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're on my friends list you meet one of the below

We've met and had sex

We've met socially and I would meet you for sex

We've spoke on FAB, I fancy you and would meet for sex pending a social just to sure we both like each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're on my friends list you meet one of the below

We've met and had sex

We've met socially and I would meet you for sex

We've spoke on FAB, I fancy you and would meet for sex pending a social just to sure we both like each other

"

I should add I'm not sure some feel the same of those I've not met but I'm ok with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're on my friends list you meet one of the below

We've met and had sex

We've met socially and I would meet you for sex

We've spoke on FAB, I fancy you and would meet for sex pending a social just to sure we both like each other

"

Ooooh is that right?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have friends that I will never have sex with. I think they know.

I don’t think I’m as clear at times as I could be. I tend to let conversations dwindle rather than deal with things. I’m working on that.

As I rarely meet it’s not much of an issue and I don’t have many people on my friends list either. I prefer to keep things simple "

I definately think it's easier if you rarely meet. I tend to keep my filters to 99 year olds only to avoid new messages these days. But find I do occassionally have to make sure people I speak to are clear that I won't be meeting them with a view to anything more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't envision having sex with anyone on my friends list, I don't think any of them would be interested. "

I think most people have thoughts like this too. I'm guilty.. but when I find someone I naturally click with I realise it's just how I'm made. Some people just get each other more than others so it's far from a competition.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I have friends that I will never have sex with. I think they know.

"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If you're on my friends list you meet one of the below

We've met and had sex

We've met socially and I would meet you for sex

We've spoke on FAB, I fancy you and would meet for sex pending a social just to sure we both like each other

Ooooh is that right? "

*women of fab check their friends list ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you're on my friends list you meet one of the below

We've met and had sex

We've met socially and I would meet you for sex

We've spoke on FAB, I fancy you and would meet for sex pending a social just to sure we both like each other

Ooooh is that right?

*women of fab check their friends list ha ha "

You're on mine

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Where i am now all but one is friendzoned but there all fittys im sure they will cope "

You didn't mention you had a bird..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No idea whatsoever.. though I'm the kind of person who prefers sex IN the friendzone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where i am now all but one is friendzoned but there all fittys im sure they will cope

You didn't mention you had a bird.. "

Bloody hell has he?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No idea whatsoever.. though I'm the kind of person who prefers sex IN the friendzone."

On which part of the question?!? Ha ha

Are you clear who you fancy and who you don't?

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

If youre having sex with people you haven't friendzoned first then youre doing it wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No idea whatsoever.. though I'm the kind of person who prefers sex IN the friendzone.

On which part of the question?!? Ha ha

Are you clear who you fancy and who you don't?"

No idea whatsoever I did answer There are quite a few people I like in a friendly way on here, most of whom I wouldn't need much convincing to hop into bed with.

Whether its a sincere and genuine friendship that's developing? I don't know yet. Not known you all long enough, time will tell I guess.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I don't know if I agree with the term friendzoned but I get the sentiment behind it.

So no, I'm not sure. I think a few are possibly open to sexually meeting but then they might not be and that's ok. I don't really have people on my friends list because of the possibility of sex - sex is like the not needed but very nice at the same time bonus of talking to some.

I'd prefer to know where I stand but then fuck knows I'm not clear where others stand because my feelings and desire to meet others can change. Relationships (of any sort here) can be fluid and complex and what you want originally might alter further down the line.

I was talking about this with a dear friend - it would be really helpful if people I am interested in could do a weekly survey saying 'yep, still want to do you Meli' and then I could just carry on with my week.

If I didn't want any "more" and they did after meeting, I've expressed it in the past.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't know if I agree with the term friendzoned but I get the sentiment behind it.

So no, I'm not sure. I think a few are possibly open to sexually meeting but then they might not be and that's ok. I don't really have people on my friends list because of the possibility of sex - sex is like the not needed but very nice at the same time bonus of talking to some.

I'd prefer to know where I stand but then fuck knows I'm not clear where others stand because my feelings and desire to meet others can change. Relationships (of any sort here) can be fluid and complex and what you want originally might alter further down the line.

I was talking about this with a dear friend - it would be really helpful if people I am interested in could do a weekly survey saying 'yep, still want to do you Meli' and then I could just carry on with my week.

If I didn't want any "more" and they did after meeting, I've expressed it in the past. "

Ha ha yeah I get that. A weekly questionnaire would be good. My minds changed multiple times and probably will again. I think this place is incredibly hard to work out sometimes!!

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I'm in a bit of a strange position regarding this. The people on my friends list I rarely if ever hear from (with one notable exception) the person that I talk to more than any other friend, isn't even on my friends list...

So in response to the OP; a big hearty gallic shrug and an N/A next to my name I think.

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I think and hope I'm pretty clear on my intentions when I speak to people on my friends list. Most of my friends list are people I've met at socials, people I've played with and those I want to play with if ever the opportunity comes up x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None of the people I speak to think of me in a sexual way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's hard for me is the distances usually involved.

My lack of wealth and parental responsibilities means I'm pretty restricted to my local area most of the time. Which to be honest, has never really worked out as well as I'd hope. Though I've met some very awesome locals as well.

So I run to Forums where there is a greater chance of connecting with people like me and where there's mutual mental and physical attraction. Only they are god knows where.

Sometimes I get on so well that it hurts a bit that they're so far away sometimes and I feel the need to lay off the intensity a bit. Though they are most definitely still a friend I'd love to fuck.

If I'm going though a patch of intensity with someone else, I may ease off another for a bit.

I can handle long gaps between conversations and still keep the chemistry alive if it's there. I'm not a very demanding friend and can get irritated if someone else is.

Fab is fab, the forums are the forums.. people are all very different. So I've no idea whose category I slip into or out of.. they don't tell me. People change, I notice I slip in and out of other people's friend lists both here and other sites. Sometimes I guess I deserve it, sometimes I'm clueless as to why I'm no longer liked.. or lusted after.

Try not to think about it too much if I'm honest. Unless I care about that person a great deal.. in which case I may get a strop on and demand an answer. If I've upset you, then I'd rather be told about it.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

everyone i chat to is in the friendzone as i dont meet new people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where i am now all but one is friendzoned but there all fittys im sure they will cope

You didn't mention you had a bird..

Bloody hell has he? "

No i have a friend who im in love with who loves me back no crazy labels pls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I told someone not so long back that I think I'd friend zoned him. It was that or be a coward (which I'm not) and block him. He was very charming about it. Anyway, we continued to chat but the conversation changed up a gear and long story short we're meeting this evening. So in hindsight I guess I'm saying that friendzoning someone isn't a bad thing, well we'll see after this evening if he becomes a special fwiend

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I told someone not so long back that I think I'd friend zoned him. It was that or be a coward (which I'm not) and block him. He was very charming about it. Anyway, we continued to chat but the conversation changed up a gear and long story short we're meeting this evening. So in hindsight I guess I'm saying that friendzoning someone isn't a bad thing, well we'll see after this evening if he becomes a special fwiend "

Oooh exciting good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm in a bit of a strange position regarding this. The people on my friends list I rarely if ever hear from (with one notable exception) the person that I talk to more than any other friend, isn't even on my friends list...

So in response to the OP; a big hearty gallic shrug and an N/A next to my name I think. "

You have your lovely tealady though... I'm pretty crap on here as go through stages of lots of chats then hibernating. I usually reemerge with a random question that's been playing on my muddled mind.. not sure if I'm easy to understand as I don't understand myself most of the time..

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales


"What's hard for me is the distances usually involved.

My lack of wealth and parental responsibilities means I'm pretty restricted to my local area most of the time.

I can handle long gaps between conversations and still keep the chemistry alive if it's there. I'm not a very demanding friend and can get irritated if someone else is. "

—————

This is closest to my experience on here too (and saves me the writing!).

The friends i have on here are men i’ve met or there is potential to meet. I never add folk as a “friend” just to chat to them as i don’t like becoming attached to folk if it’s not going to go anywhere. I’m just not that sociable.

However, I always like to know where i stand with people and i’m honest with those i’m in communication with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What's hard for me is the distances usually involved.

My lack of wealth and parental responsibilities means I'm pretty restricted to my local area most of the time. Which to be honest, has never really worked out as well as I'd hope. Though I've met some very awesome locals as well.

So I run to Forums where there is a greater chance of connecting with people like me and where there's mutual mental and physical attraction. Only they are god knows where.

Sometimes I get on so well that it hurts a bit that they're so far away sometimes and I feel the need to lay off the intensity a bit. Though they are most definitely still a friend I'd love to fuck.

If I'm going though a patch of intensity with someone else, I may ease off another for a bit.

I can handle long gaps between conversations and still keep the chemistry alive if it's there. I'm not a very demanding friend and can get irritated if someone else is.

Fab is fab, the forums are the forums.. people are all very different. So I've no idea whose category I slip into or out of.. they don't tell me. People change, I notice I slip in and out of other people's friend lists both here and other sites. Sometimes I guess I deserve it, sometimes I'm clueless as to why I'm no longer liked.. or lusted after.

Try not to think about it too much if I'm honest. Unless I care about that person a great deal.. in which case I may get a strop on and demand an answer. If I've upset you, then I'd rather be told about it. "

I think most of us are guilty of peaks and troughs on here and sometimes overthinking things. It's hard to see fab as a picture sometimes as so many parts are changing constantly. Sometimes when you think you know where you stand something changes for another which can impact you.. think the key is honesty and openness.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I'm in a bit of a strange position regarding this. The people on my friends list I rarely if ever hear from (with one notable exception) the person that I talk to more than any other friend, isn't even on my friends list...

So in response to the OP; a big hearty gallic shrug and an N/A next to my name I think.

You have your lovely tealady though... I'm pretty crap on here as go through stages of lots of chats then hibernating. I usually reemerge with a random question that's been playing on my muddled mind.. not sure if I'm easy to understand as I don't understand myself most of the time.. "

I do understand the drive of your question though, I think you're asking about clarity and understanding regarding our connections on here and whether we (all) treat our connections with the honesty and clarity that they deserve.

In response to that; yes, all of the people that I had been talking to, were told about my shift in status, pretty much as soon as I knew.

I've never knowingly led people on and I'd hate to do that, no matter my relationship status.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's hard for me is the distances usually involved.

My lack of wealth and parental responsibilities means I'm pretty restricted to my local area most of the time. Which to be honest, has never really worked out as well as I'd hope. Though I've met some very awesome locals as well.

So I run to Forums where there is a greater chance of connecting with people like me and where there's mutual mental and physical attraction. Only they are god knows where.

Sometimes I get on so well that it hurts a bit that they're so far away sometimes and I feel the need to lay off the intensity a bit. Though they are most definitely still a friend I'd love to fuck.

If I'm going though a patch of intensity with someone else, I may ease off another for a bit.

I can handle long gaps between conversations and still keep the chemistry alive if it's there. I'm not a very demanding friend and can get irritated if someone else is.

Fab is fab, the forums are the forums.. people are all very different. So I've no idea whose category I slip into or out of.. they don't tell me. People change, I notice I slip in and out of other people's friend lists both here and other sites. Sometimes I guess I deserve it, sometimes I'm clueless as to why I'm no longer liked.. or lusted after.

Try not to think about it too much if I'm honest. Unless I care about that person a great deal.. in which case I may get a strop on and demand an answer. If I've upset you, then I'd rather be told about it.

I think most of us are guilty of peaks and troughs on here and sometimes overthinking things. It's hard to see fab as a picture sometimes as so many parts are changing constantly. Sometimes when you think you know where you stand something changes for another which can impact you.. think the key is honesty and openness."

. Unfortunately finding that honesty and openness can be extremely difficult.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What's hard for me is the distances usually involved.

My lack of wealth and parental responsibilities means I'm pretty restricted to my local area most of the time. Which to be honest, has never really worked out as well as I'd hope. Though I've met some very awesome locals as well.

So I run to Forums where there is a greater chance of connecting with people like me and where there's mutual mental and physical attraction. Only they are god knows where.

Sometimes I get on so well that it hurts a bit that they're so far away sometimes and I feel the need to lay off the intensity a bit. Though they are most definitely still a friend I'd love to fuck.

If I'm going though a patch of intensity with someone else, I may ease off another for a bit.

I can handle long gaps between conversations and still keep the chemistry alive if it's there. I'm not a very demanding friend and can get irritated if someone else is.

Fab is fab, the forums are the forums.. people are all very different. So I've no idea whose category I slip into or out of.. they don't tell me. People change, I notice I slip in and out of other people's friend lists both here and other sites. Sometimes I guess I deserve it, sometimes I'm clueless as to why I'm no longer liked.. or lusted after.

Try not to think about it too much if I'm honest. Unless I care about that person a great deal.. in which case I may get a strop on and demand an answer. If I've upset you, then I'd rather be told about it.

I think most of us are guilty of peaks and troughs on here and sometimes overthinking things. It's hard to see fab as a picture sometimes as so many parts are changing constantly. Sometimes when you think you know where you stand something changes for another which can impact you.. think the key is honesty and openness.

. Unfortunately finding that honesty and openness can be extremely difficult. "

Very much so.. think there are people who don't have the balls to be upfront..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's hard for me is the distances usually involved.

My lack of wealth and parental responsibilities means I'm pretty restricted to my local area most of the time. Which to be honest, has never really worked out as well as I'd hope. Though I've met some very awesome locals as well.

So I run to Forums where there is a greater chance of connecting with people like me and where there's mutual mental and physical attraction. Only they are god knows where.

Sometimes I get on so well that it hurts a bit that they're so far away sometimes and I feel the need to lay off the intensity a bit. Though they are most definitely still a friend I'd love to fuck.

If I'm going though a patch of intensity with someone else, I may ease off another for a bit.

I can handle long gaps between conversations and still keep the chemistry alive if it's there. I'm not a very demanding friend and can get irritated if someone else is.

Fab is fab, the forums are the forums.. people are all very different. So I've no idea whose category I slip into or out of.. they don't tell me. People change, I notice I slip in and out of other people's friend lists both here and other sites. Sometimes I guess I deserve it, sometimes I'm clueless as to why I'm no longer liked.. or lusted after.

Try not to think about it too much if I'm honest. Unless I care about that person a great deal.. in which case I may get a strop on and demand an answer. If I've upset you, then I'd rather be told about it.

I think most of us are guilty of peaks and troughs on here and sometimes overthinking things. It's hard to see fab as a picture sometimes as so many parts are changing constantly. Sometimes when you think you know where you stand something changes for another which can impact you.. think the key is honesty and openness.

. Unfortunately finding that honesty and openness can be extremely difficult.

Very much so.. think there are people who don't have the balls to be upfront.."

Absolutely. I think I’m perhaps too much the other way therefore maybe scare people away lol x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What's hard for me is the distances usually involved.

My lack of wealth and parental responsibilities means I'm pretty restricted to my local area most of the time. Which to be honest, has never really worked out as well as I'd hope. Though I've met some very awesome locals as well.

So I run to Forums where there is a greater chance of connecting with people like me and where there's mutual mental and physical attraction. Only they are god knows where.

Sometimes I get on so well that it hurts a bit that they're so far away sometimes and I feel the need to lay off the intensity a bit. Though they are most definitely still a friend I'd love to fuck.

If I'm going though a patch of intensity with someone else, I may ease off another for a bit.

I can handle long gaps between conversations and still keep the chemistry alive if it's there. I'm not a very demanding friend and can get irritated if someone else is.

Fab is fab, the forums are the forums.. people are all very different. So I've no idea whose category I slip into or out of.. they don't tell me. People change, I notice I slip in and out of other people's friend lists both here and other sites. Sometimes I guess I deserve it, sometimes I'm clueless as to why I'm no longer liked.. or lusted after.

Try not to think about it too much if I'm honest. Unless I care about that person a great deal.. in which case I may get a strop on and demand an answer. If I've upset you, then I'd rather be told about it.

I think most of us are guilty of peaks and troughs on here and sometimes overthinking things. It's hard to see fab as a picture sometimes as so many parts are changing constantly. Sometimes when you think you know where you stand something changes for another which can impact you.. think the key is honesty and openness.

. Unfortunately finding that honesty and openness can be extremely difficult.

Very much so.. think there are people who don't have the balls to be upfront..

Absolutely. I think I’m perhaps too much the other way therefore maybe scare people away lol x"

Me too.. I've had a few purges where I've messaged people and clarified it's purely a friends thing.. cleared my head though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm in a bit of a strange position regarding this. The people on my friends list I rarely if ever hear from (with one notable exception) the person that I talk to more than any other friend, isn't even on my friends list...

So in response to the OP; a big hearty gallic shrug and an N/A next to my name I think.

You have your lovely tealady though... I'm pretty crap on here as go through stages of lots of chats then hibernating. I usually reemerge with a random question that's been playing on my muddled mind.. not sure if I'm easy to understand as I don't understand myself most of the time..

I do understand the drive of your question though, I think you're asking about clarity and understanding regarding our connections on here and whether we (all) treat our connections with the honesty and clarity that they deserve.

In response to that; yes, all of the people that I had been talking to, were told about my shift in status, pretty much as soon as I knew.

I've never knowingly led people on and I'd hate to do that, no matter my relationship status. "

Exactly that! I think many people are either bad at saying stuff that may be felt unpopular or guilty of enjoying the attention too much to be as upfront as they could be...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a balancing act on here, if you reply to people and start to chat but feel no sexual connection or vibe, to then brooch the subject sometimes not replying to messages or being blunt in the tone isn't enough. Also men are like buses I find on here, you start chatting to one and 4 roll up at once. All wanting you to board them at your next stop...hence the balancing act. I'm not a conveyor belt or a lazy Susan, to spin around for their pleasure. I guess I'm trying to say it makes me cautious of starting up conversation mostly due to not wanting to or indeed being able to fuck all who think a few emails equates to jumping my bones.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's a balancing act on here, if you reply to people and start to chat but feel no sexual connection or vibe, to then brooch the subject sometimes not replying to messages or being blunt in the tone isn't enough. Also men are like buses I find on here, you start chatting to one and 4 roll up at once. All wanting you to board them at your next stop...hence the balancing act. I'm not a conveyor belt or a lazy Susan, to spin around for their pleasure. I guess I'm trying to say it makes me cautious of starting up conversation mostly due to not wanting to or indeed being able to fuck all who think a few emails equates to jumping my bones. "

It really is isn't it.. I now keep my filters at 99 year olds only just so I don't get messages that I'm not in the right place to deal with. It's a proper balancing act!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's a balancing act on here, if you reply to people and start to chat but feel no sexual connection or vibe, to then brooch the subject sometimes not replying to messages or being blunt in the tone isn't enough. Also men are like buses I find on here, you start chatting to one and 4 roll up at once. All wanting you to board them at your next stop...hence the balancing act. I'm not a conveyor belt or a lazy Susan, to spin around for their pleasure. I guess I'm trying to say it makes me cautious of starting up conversation mostly due to not wanting to or indeed being able to fuck all who think a few emails equates to jumping my bones.

It really is isn't it.. I now keep my filters at 99 year olds only just so I don't get messages that I'm not in the right place to deal with. It's a proper balancing act!!"

Yeh, I filter to the max sometimes but then remind myself being in show isn't the issue. I have found over the years that if men are the right fit they will make contact again in the future when timings, etc, are right. Those that are genuine in meeting for hopefully the right reasons, it's not always that plain and simple though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I assume I won't have sex with any of my friends.

One or two of then may consider it with me and we have danced round the possibility, but until I actually meet them in person so they can decide for themselves, it would be wrong and misguided of me to believe that any of them think me to be sexually attractive.

One has to remain pragmatic as I know I'm not to everyone's taste, but people like me as a person, not a potential playmate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As far as Forum Users go. If they use it a lot and there is crossover on topics and posts. I feel less need to PM them. I'm watching the posts I stumble across. It connects me more, which is why I like it.

There aren't many regular forum users I'm having long drawn out conversations with behind closed doors. None for prolonged periods. I'm not good at long distance relationships Which is why I like the Forum, I get to tickle and be tickled by lots of people at once. Till one of the ones I really like happens to stumble in my direction.

Who knows what is round the corner?

I'm hoping to attend the MLS social, or some other event that a large group of the forum attend. One day. No plans, no expectations and just turn up to say hello to everyone. Same approach I have on Fab really. Slowly slowly catchy monkeys

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"

Exactly that! I think many people are either bad at saying stuff that may be felt unpopular or guilty of enjoying the attention too much to be as upfront as they could be... "

That's very true, I know that sometimes it's hard to tell someone "thanks, but no thanks", even with the best intentions, that's without factoring in the time wasters and attention seekers!

I guess that we can only manage ourselves though, and treat others in the manner that we would hope others treat us. I try and believe that we're all adults on here and act accordingly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Exactly that! I think many people are either bad at saying stuff that may be felt unpopular or guilty of enjoying the attention too much to be as upfront as they could be...

That's very true, I know that sometimes it's hard to tell someone "thanks, but no thanks", even with the best intentions, that's without factoring in the time wasters and attention seekers!

I guess that we can only manage ourselves though, and treat others in the manner that we would hope others treat us. I try and believe that we're all adults on here and act accordingly. "

It's a piece of piss to say, not for me thanks happy swinging. My phone automatically does it for me , its sent that often. The difficulty comes, if after chatting for however long an amount of time, you feel it's not floating your boat. It's then harder to tell someone who has been nothing but polite, funny or indeed charming that you're not up for meeting. Remember this is fab , seen to the masses as an insta shag site, which don't get me wrong it can be, but for a more cerebral orgasm you want more, which takes more communication than, oh can I roger your arsehole.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"

Exactly that! I think many people are either bad at saying stuff that may be felt unpopular or guilty of enjoying the attention too much to be as upfront as they could be...

That's very true, I know that sometimes it's hard to tell someone "thanks, but no thanks", even with the best intentions, that's without factoring in the time wasters and attention seekers!

I guess that we can only manage ourselves though, and treat others in the manner that we would hope others treat us. I try and believe that we're all adults on here and act accordingly.

It's a piece of piss to say, not for me thanks happy swinging. My phone automatically does it for me , its sent that often. The difficulty comes, if after chatting for however long an amount of time, you feel it's not floating your boat. It's then harder to tell someone who has been nothing but polite, funny or indeed charming that you're not up for meeting. Remember this is fab , seen to the masses as an insta shag site, which don't get me wrong it can be, but for a more cerebral orgasm you want more, which takes more communication than, oh can I roger your arsehole."

It is easy enough to say ‘no thank you’ to someone you haven’t chatted to before but I agree with you that it is harder when you’ve been chatting for a while.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Exactly that! I think many people are either bad at saying stuff that may be felt unpopular or guilty of enjoying the attention too much to be as upfront as they could be...

That's very true, I know that sometimes it's hard to tell someone "thanks, but no thanks", even with the best intentions, that's without factoring in the time wasters and attention seekers!

I guess that we can only manage ourselves though, and treat others in the manner that we would hope others treat us. I try and believe that we're all adults on here and act accordingly.

It's a piece of piss to say, not for me thanks happy swinging. My phone automatically does it for me , its sent that often. The difficulty comes, if after chatting for however long an amount of time, you feel it's not floating your boat. It's then harder to tell someone who has been nothing but polite, funny or indeed charming that you're not up for meeting. Remember this is fab , seen to the masses as an insta shag site, which don't get me wrong it can be, but for a more cerebral orgasm you want more, which takes more communication than, oh can I roger your arsehole.

It is easy enough to say ‘no thank you’ to someone you haven’t chatted to before but I agree with you that it is harder when you’ve been chatting for a while. "

Totally unless you're rude or as someone else mentioned, have allowed the site to inflate your ego. Both of which don't apply to me or those I intended to meet.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"

Exactly that! I think many people are either bad at saying stuff that may be felt unpopular or guilty of enjoying the attention too much to be as upfront as they could be...

That's very true, I know that sometimes it's hard to tell someone "thanks, but no thanks", even with the best intentions, that's without factoring in the time wasters and attention seekers!

I guess that we can only manage ourselves though, and treat others in the manner that we would hope others treat us. I try and believe that we're all adults on here and act accordingly.

It's a piece of piss to say, not for me thanks happy swinging. My phone automatically does it for me , its sent that often. The difficulty comes, if after chatting for however long an amount of time, you feel it's not floating your boat. It's then harder to tell someone who has been nothing but polite, funny or indeed charming that you're not up for meeting. Remember this is fab , seen to the masses as an insta shag site, which don't get me wrong it can be, but for a more cerebral orgasm you want more, which takes more communication than, oh can I roger your arsehole."

I totally understand that, I think that's why many people just block in those instances. The simple fact is that there are so many variables to attraction that even we don't understand or grasp, but when it's gone, it's gone.

As I said previously, when I started down my road with TeaLady, I was chatting to others, one I had a planned social with. Its never nice or easy to be 'that guy'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dunno, it’s made me have a think.

I have some people on my Friends List who I don’t view in a sexual way, but I do like for whatever reason. Could be forum chat, photos, they’re fun to talk to, that kind of thing.

There are people on my Hot List, who aren’t hot but I like to keep an eye on, various reasons for that one..

I guess because I’m currently not massively proactive on here with a view to meeting, people drift in and out of my ti_eline regularly.

If I’ve met someone the usual reason we don’t meet again is logistics, very occasionally it’s because we haven’t been compatible and I’ve either said or let it tail off, no logic applied to that one though.

I remembering friend-zoning someone once and they always said it was the politest rejection they ever had, which made me chuckle. We became good friends on here after that...

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By *nowwhitexxx1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

At the moment because I haven't been particularly looking to have any meets (never say never though) but anyone who does message me I always say that's the case.. So people don't think I'm leading them on..

In relation to my friends list of course there's people on there I fancy but I don't see my friends list as the list I'd want to fuck... Its just people who I've chatted too and like and enjoy perving at their pics

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

I'm clear. There are lots of lovely people I've met who I'm not sexually attracted to (and lots who aren't attracted to me), but if someone tells me they want to take things further and I don't, I'll be clear with them. Saves any awkwardness further down the line, or expectations if I'm attending the same event as someone. I do prefer people to be clear with me too, but find I'm usually just ghosted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we all use fab in our own little way.

We use friend lists, hot lists and blocking to suit our own needs.

Personally, I'm not here to make platonic friends. I'm not here for online friends and nor do I understand that. For me, friends are real people who are in my life, not behind a screen or on the end of a phone line.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"I'm clear. There are lots of lovely people I've met who I'm not sexually attracted to (and lots who aren't attracted to me), but if someone tells me they want to take things further and I don't, I'll be clear with them. Saves any awkwardness further down the line, or expectations if I'm attending the same event as someone. I do prefer people to be clear with me too, but find I'm usually just ghosted. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think anyone I chat too hasn’t been ruled out as a potential play date, obviously a social first as I am dipping my toe into meeting men now.

I make it clear to those that I have no intention of meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple of people I chat to but havnt met I know would be open to more if we initially got on. I think they know Im not really planning to meet at the moment, if we have chatted recently that is. I try not to start new chats with new people at the moment because even when you say you wont be meeting, the very fact you keep talking and building up a connection brings hope with it, from both sides I will add, I am weak faced with a sweet talker

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As far as Forum Users go. If they use it a lot and there is crossover on topics and posts. I feel less need to PM them. I'm watching the posts I stumble across. It connects me more, which is why I like it.

There aren't many regular forum users I'm having long drawn out conversations with behind closed doors. None for prolonged periods. I'm not good at long distance relationships Which is why I like the Forum, I get to tickle and be tickled by lots of people at once. Till one of the ones I really like happens to stumble in my direction.

Who knows what is round the corner?

I'm hoping to attend the MLS social, or some other event that a large group of the forum attend. One day. No plans, no expectations and just turn up to say hello to everyone. Same approach I have on Fab really. Slowly slowly catchy monkeys "

Socials are ace for that.. to me friendship is a huge part of why I've stayed. Meeting people in the flesh adds a lot to the chats and definately helps with getting a better feel for people you just see as avatars and comments. Several people have crossed over from online friend to real life friend and it's ace to get to know people you can talk openly with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading all the replies on here has made me realise that I'm probably not very clear about who I consider a potential sex friend or just a friend

My friends list is made up of both. Unless they explicitly say so I'm also not sure who is wanting to actually meet me or is just wanting to chat

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Reading all the replies on here has made me realise that I'm probably not very clear about who I consider a potential sex friend or just a friend

My friends list is made up of both. Unless they explicitly say so I'm also not sure who is wanting to actually meet me or is just wanting to chat "

It's a funny one isn't it?! I know my mind changes throughout the course of conversations and obviously others do exactly the same.. I'm crap at picking up signals if they're being given so wondered how others deal with multiple conversations..

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