FabSwingers.com forum: Finding out someone is attached... after you've met them

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You meet someone and they are on a single person profile. No mention of a partner.

Then they tell you they're actually attached and have a couple profile on here.

How would you feel? Would it bother you that they hadn't mentioned they're actually in a couple?

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By *dinSon99Man
over a year ago

East Northants

Not really, their reasons are their reasons.

If their partner is in the picture with regards to a single profile then it’s fair enough as I’m concerned. But my view is that this is a site for sexual meets & not dating unless both parties feel they’d like to pursue that avenue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes very much so. It's not what I want so would be upset to be misled.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You meet someone and they are on a single person profile. No mention of a partner.

Then they tell you they're actually attached and have a couple profile on here.

How would you feel? Would it bother you that they hadn't mentioned they're actually in a couple?"
not my guilt to carry so i just dont care

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

As long as their partner knew about the single profile I'd be fine with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d be a bit pissed off but would want to know the whole story before I made a decision either way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id much prefer to be told prior to their socks coming off...and not during them being put back on!.

It's like confession time and room 101 sometimes, afterwards!, makes me personally reassess and recoil momentarily, till I remind myself I'm not the storyteller, unless I buy a home lie detector and use and believe it instead or become a nun, I'm unsure how to solve the single male conundrum that is in fact married with 3 kids

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

Yeah if he’s not honest in the beginning it’s a no no for me

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think it's very much an "it depends" answer for me - as in it depends if their partner knew about the single profile, if they didn't I'd be extremely miffed, if they did then it *might* make a difference.

It would also depend on what we'd discussed and agreed beforehand, and how that sat with the additional information - if for example they'd been deliberately deceitful about attached status, as opposed to it having no relevance to our meeting then I'd be miffed, likewise if they'd led me to believe something about our interaction that wouldn't be possible because of their circumstances.

If it was all an outright lie though I'd be extremely unhappy.

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By *ydnNancyCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I think it's very much an "it depends" answer for me - as in it depends if their partner knew about the single profile, if they didn't I'd be extremely miffed, if they did then it *might* make a difference.

If it was all an outright lie though I'd be extremely unhappy."

This

If they lied, they’d be getting a mouthful from me (and not in a good way) and I wouldn’t meet them again.

If they just didn’t mention it, is it really an issue?

Depends on what you’re after.

Tbh I always ask relationship status’ as part of my pre meet chat. I spend quite a long time getting to know someone before they get the privilege of getting near my body

Nancy

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By *ooliganMan
over a year ago

Preston

I really don't get why people get so hung about about it. This isn't a dating site, people aren't here to form monogamous relationships...

It's the internet, people hide, fib, reinvent... Get used to it! No need for this "how-very-dare-he" attitude when someone keeps private a part of their life they want to keep private.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends innit, did they just forget that tell you or did they promise something they can no longer deliver...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really don't get why people get so hung about about it. This isn't a dating site, people aren't here to form monogamous relationships...

It's the internet, people hide, fib, reinvent... Get used to it! No need for this "how-very-dare-he" attitude when someone keeps private a part of their life they want to keep private."

It's simple. People use the site in many different ways. Neither is wrong as long as it's open. If someone isn't looking for an attached person and clearly states so then they shouldn't be deceived into meeting someone who is. It's common decency and communication.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I really don't get why people get so hung about about it. This isn't a dating site, people aren't here to form monogamous relationships...

It's the internet, people hide, fib, reinvent... Get used to it! No need for this "how-very-dare-he" attitude when someone keeps private a part of their life they want to keep private.

Nail's been firmly hit there

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"You meet someone and they are on a single person profile. No mention of a partner.

Then they tell you they're actually attached and have a couple profile on here.

How would you feel? Would it bother you that they hadn't mentioned they're actually in a couple?"
yes it would bother me and I would drop the like hot cakes and block them. As I don't want to knowingly help anyone cheat

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By *ust chilled out meMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Honesty from the start then people can make there own mind up I'd be annoyed that I wasn't told until after tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I knew they were attached before I met the other person. Perhaps not as happily attached as they could have been. Yet I still took a chance on that other.

Foolishly I hoped, for a long time it might be something more than just a meet....

Perhaps the difference between knowing and not knowing isn't that important unless one or other or both want more than just fuck and run....

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS
over a year ago

doncaster

It wudnt bother me at all

Thier business not mine

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

If it was all an outright lie though I'd be extremely unhappy.

This

If they lied, they’d be getting a mouthful from me (and not in a good way) and I wouldn’t meet them again.

If they just didn’t mention it, is it really an issue?

Depends on what you’re after.

Tbh I always ask relationship status’ as part of my pre meet chat. I spend quite a long time getting to know someone before they get the privilege of getting near my body

Nancy"

I'm the same to be honest - if it's not clear from someone's profile I usually ask fairly early on.

As for whether it's an issue if they "just didn't mention it" again it depends, there is lying by omission to consider but if it was, as I suggested, because it had no relevance or impact to our interaction then that would be different.

That said it would surprise me if someone hadn't told me, usually I've been talking to people for months before we meet and built up a connection and level of knowledge of each other that something like that coming out would be surprising, and possibly make me wonder why it had been held back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happened to me, they didn't have a couples profile tho, he was just attached. Told me after we had fallen for each other.

Very difficult to stop seeing each other, but eventually we had to. Still friends tho

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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"Honesty from the start then people can make there own mind up I'd be annoyed that I wasn't told until after tbh "

I agree, not mentioning it is lying by omission

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It didn’t bother me when I was single and doesn’t bother me that much now, most of the people I talk to here I imagine has a partner or some sort, I’m not going to catch the feels for any of these people as I have Doughnut, if I didn’t have him and we did our thing and we both had the feels then he told me (or she) then I might be a bit peeved.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"You meet someone and they are on a single person profile. No mention of a partner.

Then they tell you they're actually attached and have a couple profile on here.

How would you feel? Would it bother you that they hadn't mentioned they're actually in a couple?"

You haven't said in your OP whether they are cheating. Their other half maybe fully aware if the situation. I suppose it depends whether they are cheating and whether you have stipulated that you don't meet attached people or not on your profile. If you had mentioned no attached and they kept it from you then yes I would be pissed off. If not then it's just sex and their status is irrelevant.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

If their partner knew I'd question why they hid it tbh

If the partner was unaware I'd be really mad

Probably avoid either way really.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like dishonesty. Yes, it would bother me.

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By *andonmessMan
over a year ago

A world all of his own

I'd be pissed that they'd lied to me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Id much prefer to be told prior to their socks coming off...and not during them being put back on!.

If they lied it's on them, not on you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You meet someone and they are on a single person profile. No mention of a partner.

Then they tell you they're actually attached and have a couple profile on here.

How would you feel? Would it bother you that they hadn't mentioned they're actually in a couple?

Good point, thanks.

In the scenario I was thinking of, I meant they're a couple who meet separately so not cheating. Just that the person didn't realise the other person is part of a couple.

A lot of variables.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If their partner knew I'd question why they hid it tbh

If the partner was unaware I'd be really mad

Probably avoid either way really.

Miss"

This was what I was thinking when I was wondering about the scenario. I'd find it weird that they didn't mention they are part of a Fab couple.

It's not a real scenario, just something another thread made me wonder about.

I should join Sydney Uni.

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