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"Lots of disabilities are unseen .. But what your opinion OP how do you feel on the subject.. I don't really have an opinion More a reaction to a situation in the gym over the weekend There was a guy in a motorised chair who had some things to contend with - lack of lower mobility, speech issues He asked me to pull some weights down so he work with them and then later, he asked if I'd secure his wee bag for him I was uncomfortable in doing it, but I did it I was watching others in the gym giving him a wide berth cos he was asking for help in accessing equipment Only one other bloke helped him I've thought about it a lot since I figured people were uncomfortable with it and knocked myself for not being more pro-active in helping him " I’m sure he appreciated the help you gave, as you saw many don’t! | |||
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"are you uncomfortable around it ? " Honestly depends what it is. | |||
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"Lots of disabilities are unseen .. But what your opinion OP how do you feel on the subject.. I don't really have an opinion More a reaction to a situation in the gym over the weekend There was a guy in a motorised chair who had some things to contend with - lack of lower mobility, speech issues He asked me to pull some weights down so he work with them and then later, he asked if I'd secure his wee bag for him I was uncomfortable in doing it, but I did it I was watching others in the gym giving him a wide berth cos he was asking for help in accessing equipment Only one other bloke helped him I've thought about it a lot since I figured people were uncomfortable with it and knocked myself for not being more pro-active in helping him " Mate that was I really kind thing you did. Get to know him, he'd love that. Might shake those others into a re-think. | |||
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"4 of my children are disabled people have I different view I suppose some can be ignorant and rude but that’s the world we live in nowadays " | |||
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"No infact i will go out of my way to help disabled and vunerable people. Its a sad state of affairs when disabled people are treated differently soley because of a disablility. It doesnt matter on size, shape, colour, sexual orientation or disability people are people and one small act of kindness done by you could be the difference between someone killing themselves or bettering themselves. Even if it makes them happy for 2 mins it cost you nothing so why not do it " Well said sir I take my hat off to you if everyone had the same thought the world would be a better place | |||
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"No infact i will go out of my way to help disabled and vunerable people. Its a sad state of affairs when disabled people are treated differently soley because of a disablility. It doesnt matter on size, shape, colour, sexual orientation or disability people are people and one small act of kindness done by you could be the difference between someone killing themselves or bettering themselves. Even if it makes them happy for 2 mins it cost you nothing so why not do it " For those that note i excluded religion. If my imaginary friend called dave told me to murder you and your children and plunder your wife and i did it am i crazy or just religious? | |||
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"I think a lot of people are uncomfortable around people with disabilities. As with everything, the more familiar you become with something the more comfortable you feel around it. I have shocked people by being rude to someone with a disability. They were being an arse, I knew them and didn't feel the need to treat them with kid gloves because of their disability. Bussy, helping with the gym equipment would have been fine with me. Helping with the bag would have felt too intimate and I might have had a conversation about that before helping. For some that would be the wrong response. I'm comfortable with my level of discomfort. " I had a 3 second conversation with myself Outwardly I was like 'yeah course I will mate' Inwardly my head was going 'fuck, fuck, fuck, he wants me to sort the bag of piss out' I felt awful for feeling that way - I should have been able to do it without the thinking It's not my normal, he was a stranger not a loved one - those are the only justifications I can come up with | |||
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"I think a lot of people are uncomfortable around people with disabilities. As with everything, the more familiar you become with something the more comfortable you feel around it. I have shocked people by being rude to someone with a disability. They were being an arse, I knew them and didn't feel the need to treat them with kid gloves because of their disability. Bussy, helping with the gym equipment would have been fine with me. Helping with the bag would have felt too intimate and I might have had a conversation about that before helping. For some that would be the wrong response. I'm comfortable with my level of discomfort. I had a 3 second conversation with myself Outwardly I was like 'yeah course I will mate' Inwardly my head was going 'fuck, fuck, fuck, he wants me to sort the bag of piss out' I felt awful for feeling that way - I should have been able to do it without the thinking It's not my normal, he was a stranger not a loved one - those are the only justifications I can come up with" dont be silly a lot of people would have felt uncomfortable in that situation | |||
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"I think a lot of people are uncomfortable around people with disabilities. As with everything, the more familiar you become with something the more comfortable you feel around it. I have shocked people by being rude to someone with a disability. They were being an arse, I knew them and didn't feel the need to treat them with kid gloves because of their disability. Bussy, helping with the gym equipment would have been fine with me. Helping with the bag would have felt too intimate and I might have had a conversation about that before helping. For some that would be the wrong response. I'm comfortable with my level of discomfort. I had a 3 second conversation with myself Outwardly I was like 'yeah course I will mate' Inwardly my head was going 'fuck, fuck, fuck, he wants me to sort the bag of piss out' I felt awful for feeling that way - I should have been able to do it without the thinking It's not my normal, he was a stranger not a loved one - those are the only justifications I can come up with" That all sounds fine and normal to me. The thread is full of wonderful, altruistic people but we're not all built the same. You did it, that's the important bit. Well done. | |||
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"Nobody is going to come on here and admit to being uncomfortable around people with disabilities, are they? " I was very uncomfortable because I didn't know how to act or how to treat a disabled person | |||
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"Nobody is going to come on here and admit to being uncomfortable around people with disabilities, are they? I was very uncomfortable because I didn't know how to act or how to treat a disabled person " No different from how you would treat anybody else , the only thing you might need to adapt is how you communicate | |||
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"I’d caveat that it’s unlikely I’d have been in the gym in the first place as I’m a lazy arse and all kudos to you, Bussy - for helping and for being at the gym " Oh, I ain't no gym bunny I take little pleasure in it I go so the Docs don't pump me full of any more mid life fat person meds | |||
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"I’d caveat that it’s unlikely I’d have been in the gym in the first place as I’m a lazy arse and all kudos to you, Bussy - for helping and for being at the gym Oh, I ain't no gym bunny I take little pleasure in it I go so the Docs don't pump me full of any more mid life fat person meds " Still impressed. | |||
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"I think a lot of people are uncomfortable around people with disabilities. As with everything, the more familiar you become with something the more comfortable you feel around it. I have shocked people by being rude to someone with a disability. They were being an arse, I knew them and didn't feel the need to treat them with kid gloves because of their disability. Bussy, helping with the gym equipment would have been fine with me. Helping with the bag would have felt too intimate and I might have had a conversation about that before helping. For some that would be the wrong response. I'm comfortable with my level of discomfort. I had a 3 second conversation with myself Outwardly I was like 'yeah course I will mate' Inwardly my head was going 'fuck, fuck, fuck, he wants me to sort the bag of piss out' I felt awful for feeling that way - I should have been able to do it without the thinking It's not my normal, he was a stranger not a loved one - those are the only justifications I can come up with" I imagine I would have had a very similar reaction to you. It would have been something I hadn’t dealt with before and though I would wish to be helpful I would be concerned just simply because it was unfamiliar. Next time it won’t be unfamiliar and you’ll respond differently. | |||
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"I’d caveat that it’s unlikely I’d have been in the gym in the first place as I’m a lazy arse and all kudos to you, Bussy - for helping and for being at the gym Oh, I ain't no gym bunny I take little pleasure in it I go so the Docs don't pump me full of any more mid life fat person meds " ah the glamour of maturity | |||
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"Nobody is going to come on here and admit to being uncomfortable around people with disabilities, are they? I was very uncomfortable because I didn't know how to act or how to treat a disabled person No different from how you would treat anybody else , the only thing you might need to adapt is how you communicate " Like IV said previously I have a disabled daughter we've seen first hand how rude ppl can be, thing is it's mostly adults that are the worste | |||
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"The only concern i havebis why werent the staff taking him round and helping him" Nope - tbh it seems understaffed It's a council run leisure centre I think I've seen a member of staff in the gym about a dozen times in the 9 months I've been going They all seem to work mainly round the pool areas I also tend to go out of hours due to my shift at work - so maybe there is someone there 9-5 ? | |||
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"I'm classed as disabled due to two conditions, neither of which I would say are visible to people who don't know about them. I've experienced prejudice and stereotyping due to them, if people are aware of them beforehand. It frustrates me that people make assumptions when they don't know an individual, and it's frightening how ignorant people are to different disabilities. If i mentioned one of the things that means I'm classed as disabled, many people would be uncomfortable and would make judgements avout me It is so sad that anyone would be uncomfortable with any disability, but that's the world we live in I guess. People should be proud to be themselves. That guy at the gym had every right to ask for help and it must be horrible when people try and avoid interaction with you. If someone asked for help and I could provide it I would be only too happy to. " I'm uncomfortable in certain social situations if I'm not sure how to act. I'm human, it doesn't mean I'm unkind or avoid the people I'm with. | |||
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"are you uncomfortable around it ? " No, I can't honestly say that I am. | |||
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"Lots of disabilities are unseen .. But what your opinion OP how do you feel on the subject.. I don't really have an opinion More a reaction to a situation in the gym over the weekend There was a guy in a motorised chair who had some things to contend with - lack of lower mobility, speech issues He asked me to pull some weights down so he work with them and then later, he asked if I'd secure his wee bag for him I was uncomfortable in doing it, but I did it I was watching others in the gym giving him a wide berth cos he was asking for help in accessing equipment Only one other bloke helped him I've thought about it a lot since I figured people were uncomfortable with it and knocked myself for not being more pro-active in helping him " Tbf im uncomfortable with anyone i dont know asking me for help in the gym | |||
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"No infact i will go out of my way to help disabled and vunerable people. Its a sad state of affairs when disabled people are treated differently soley because of a disablility. It doesnt matter on size, shape, colour, sexual orientation or disability people are people and one small act of kindness done by you could be the difference between someone killing themselves or bettering themselves. Even if it makes them happy for 2 mins it cost you nothing so why not do it " Totally this xx well said | |||
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"No infact i will go out of my way to help disabled and vunerable people. Its a sad state of affairs when disabled people are treated differently soley because of a disablility. " So you go out of your way to treat disables people differently soley because thier disabled while also being upset that people treat disabled people differently soley for being disabled? | |||
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"No infact i will go out of my way to help disabled and vunerable people. Its a sad state of affairs when disabled people are treated differently soley because of a disablility. So you go out of your way to treat disables people differently soley because thier disabled while also being upset that people treat disabled people differently soley for being disabled?" If they need it or ask for it yes. If someone asks me for help then if i can i will regardless of disability or not. Its not treating people differently its treating people how id want someone to treat me. The general population these days is embarrassing. People are far to interested in thinking of themselves and their phones than doing something for someone else. Look at the crime stats. How many people are robbed and forced into sex (cant use the r word) in broad daylight yet nobody saw anything and nobody intervenes in the situation. | |||
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"I think a lot of people are uncomfortable around people with disabilities. As with everything, the more familiar you become with something the more comfortable you feel around it. I have shocked people by being rude to someone with a disability. They were being an arse, I knew them and didn't feel the need to treat them with kid gloves because of their disability. Bussy, helping with the gym equipment would have been fine with me. Helping with the bag would have felt too intimate and I might have had a conversation about that before helping. For some that would be the wrong response. I'm comfortable with my level of discomfort. I had a 3 second conversation with myself Outwardly I was like 'yeah course I will mate' Inwardly my head was going 'fuck, fuck, fuck, he wants me to sort the bag of piss out' I felt awful for feeling that way - I should have been able to do it without the thinking It's not my normal, he was a stranger not a loved one - those are the only justifications I can come up with" My reaction would have been the same, but probably because, well, it's a bag of pee. I genuinely have more issue dealing with vacuous egocentric arseholes than those with disabilities.. the former have less humanity. Although my experience with people with disabilities is far more limited than many on here I have always treated everyone as if there was no disability. Being straight forward and without seeming to be over the top towards them is more me (the latter approach I find uncomfortable) Hmm. Reading that, I'm not sure it makes sense or had come out how I meant.. happy to discuss.. Conjoined twins do weird me out though.. always have from being a child | |||
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" I don't get why it's bad to feel uncomfortable in a situation you haven't been faced with before though. My mum's quite severely disabled nowadays so I'd be quite comfortable with someone with mobility issues because I'd know what to do. My father is visually impaired but as grumpy as hell if offered help by a stranger I bet he's made one or two people feel uncomfortable in his time. I think it's OK to feel uncomfortable. " I agree. I'd feel uncomfortable and I don't see why people think that's an issue. Perhaps they are perfect. | |||
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