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"Ok....so, I need some advice off parents of year 13 students. Their secondary education is quickly coming to an end. Exams looming. Things are about to get real! My son is doing A levels, design and geography. He dropped maths because he didn't get on with his teacher and he couldn't change groups ~ that was a bit of a shame as he's a clever lad (A* at gcse). Although he doesn't appear to give two hoots what his A level results will be. He decided against uni ages ago, he'd rather start earning some money. He didn't get an apprenticeship he applied for which he was disappointed about, understandably. Since then he's been really despondent, with no plan for post A levels. I know I need to have a chat with him about it all but I don't want to be a hassly parent. It's a scary world for young people these days. Someone tell me this is normal." It is a really scary world, we are trying to convince our eldest to do Camp America after A levels as a bridge between student and adulting. | |||
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"Ok....so, I need some advice off parents of year 13 students. Their secondary education is quickly coming to an end. Exams looming. Things are about to get real! My son is doing A levels, design and geography. He dropped maths because he didn't get on with his teacher and he couldn't change groups ~ that was a bit of a shame as he's a clever lad (A* at gcse). Although he doesn't appear to give two hoots what his A level results will be. He decided against uni ages ago, he'd rather start earning some money. He didn't get an apprenticeship he applied for which he was disappointed about, understandably. Since then he's been really despondent, with no plan for post A levels. I know I need to have a chat with him about it all but I don't want to be a hassly parent. It's a scary world for young people these days. Someone tell me this is normal. It is a really scary world, we are trying to convince our eldest to do Camp America after A levels as a bridge between student and adulting." Thank you ~ mine would never think of doing anything like that but I will suggest it. That's proper life experience. Do they have any idea what they want to do as a career? Have they started applying or at least looking around for a job? | |||
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"Very normal. Has he no thoughts as to what he wants to do as a career? No!! Our eldest went to uni after changing her career choice / path 3 times. At least she had an idea! What were you like and do at his age? It's a different world for them today than it was for me, I can't compare but thanks for responding. " | |||
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"Been there before Christmas with my son. He got 13 GCSEs and is doing Maths, Physics and Geography A level but no intention of going to Uni. We got round his depression after a lot of chatting and soul searching. PM us if you want. " That's a full on workload! What are his plans now? I don't think my son is depressed, just finding it all a little daunting. Thank you x | |||
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"Ok....so, I need some advice off parents of year 13 students. Their secondary education is quickly coming to an end. Exams looming. Things are about to get real! My son is doing A levels, design and geography. He dropped maths because he didn't get on with his teacher and he couldn't change groups ~ that was a bit of a shame as he's a clever lad (A* at gcse). Although he doesn't appear to give two hoots what his A level results will be. He decided against uni ages ago, he'd rather start earning some money. He didn't get an apprenticeship he applied for which he was disappointed about, understandably. Since then he's been really despondent, with no plan for post A levels. I know I need to have a chat with him about it all but I don't want to be a hassly parent. It's a scary world for young people these days. Someone tell me this is normal. It is a really scary world, we are trying to convince our eldest to do Camp America after A levels as a bridge between student and adulting. Thank you ~ mine would never think of doing anything like that but I will suggest it. That's proper life experience. Do they have any idea what they want to do as a career? Have they started applying or at least looking around for a job? " Tattoo artist is what she's set her heart on but isn't looking forward to having to pay her dues as an apprentice/tea maker lol. We're luckily in a position that we can offer the kids jobs in the family business if they can't find work they'd rather do instead. | |||
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"Our kids are way past year 13 but the thing to remember is that there's no need to decide on the rest of your life at 18 years old. It's ok to try a few jobs, it's fine after working in McDonald's for three months to decide that university is a great idea after all. I think the pressure that's put on young people tends to cloud the issue a bit. I'd say open up conversation but point out all the options available including doing an entry level job while he's making up his mind or researching other apprenticeships." Thank you so much. I can always rely on you guys for a well rounded, sensible response. There is a lot of pressure on our young people ~ another reason why I don't want to hassle him. Just got to pick the right moment for 'that' chat! | |||
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"Ok....so, I need some advice off parents of year 13 students. Their secondary education is quickly coming to an end. Exams looming. Things are about to get real! My son is doing A levels, design and geography. He dropped maths because he didn't get on with his teacher and he couldn't change groups ~ that was a bit of a shame as he's a clever lad (A* at gcse). Although he doesn't appear to give two hoots what his A level results will be. He decided against uni ages ago, he'd rather start earning some money. He didn't get an apprenticeship he applied for which he was disappointed about, understandably. Since then he's been really despondent, with no plan for post A levels. I know I need to have a chat with him about it all but I don't want to be a hassly parent. It's a scary world for young people these days. Someone tell me this is normal." Totally normal. I work with A level students and see this every year. They all find their place eventually. Xx | |||
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"Ok....so, I need some advice off parents of year 13 students. Their secondary education is quickly coming to an end. Exams looming. Things are about to get real! My son is doing A levels, design and geography. He dropped maths because he didn't get on with his teacher and he couldn't change groups ~ that was a bit of a shame as he's a clever lad (A* at gcse). Although he doesn't appear to give two hoots what his A level results will be. He decided against uni ages ago, he'd rather start earning some money. He didn't get an apprenticeship he applied for which he was disappointed about, understandably. Since then he's been really despondent, with no plan for post A levels. I know I need to have a chat with him about it all but I don't want to be a hassly parent. It's a scary world for young people these days. Someone tell me this is normal." Totally normal, he's a young man, i see it every day. There should be a decent advice and guidance department where he is, he could also speak to his tutors he gets on well with who will definitely offer support and advice. Good luck to him and yourself. | |||
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"This is perfectly normal. Most kids once they leave school and go to Uni, they still have no clue where they wish to be career wise. Unless they follow a specific profession eg lawyer, doctor, etc. What is his passion? What is he good at? I get him wanting to just go out and earn money. However he should look at it more as going out and getting real first hand experience, and he will find out more about what he likes/dislikes and ultimately about himself. People even 30/40 plus have stop start jobs, change careers etc. He’s young and as long as he has a good attitude and work ethic then he is already on the right path. Any more advice please let me know as I worked in recruitment previously. X" Thanks very much, I might just do that. The world is a big place! | |||
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"My youngest is year 13 , she has hated the fact they had to stay on in education and couldn’t leave at 16 ! She got great gcse grades and is doing English A level and graphics and has just completed her EPQ , but she just wants to leave and start earning money! The pressure that has been put on this year to go to uni has been immense and causes stress for the kids that either don’t want to go or aren’t able to . I just try not to put any added pressure on her , your son will be fine just will need some extra tlc over the next couple of months which I’m sure you will give him anyway x" Yes, I will take one layer of cotton wool off at a time. Thank you, it's nice to hear other parents views x | |||
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"Ok....so, I need some advice off parents of year 13 students. Their secondary education is quickly coming to an end. Exams looming. Things are about to get real! My son is doing A levels, design and geography. He dropped maths because he didn't get on with his teacher and he couldn't change groups ~ that was a bit of a shame as he's a clever lad (A* at gcse). Although he doesn't appear to give two hoots what his A level results will be. He decided against uni ages ago, he'd rather start earning some money. He didn't get an apprenticeship he applied for which he was disappointed about, understandably. Since then he's been really despondent, with no plan for post A levels. I know I need to have a chat with him about it all but I don't want to be a hassly parent. It's a scary world for young people these days. Someone tell me this is normal. Totally normal. I work with A level students and see this every year. They all find their place eventually. Xx" Funny enough my son's reception teacher who has retired now pooped into my work earlier and said exactly the same thing ~ Thank you | |||
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" Totally normal, he's a young man, i see it every day. There should be a decent advice and guidance department where he is, he could also speak to his tutors he gets on well with who will definitely offer support and advice. Good luck to him and yourself. " Unfortunately the careers adviser at his school hasn't been very helpful. A lot of other students in his year seem to have been guided to go the university route. | |||
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"I dont have any advice but I'd say any kid with supportive loving understanding parents has a head start. I knows kids might not express how they feel but I know from mine that once reality hits home(especially if things aren't going to plan) its daunting for them. The only 1 thing I have really learnt is that tough love is a good thing. I was rubbish at it and saw the results of it." Definitely agree about understanding parents, very important for me to be there for him. You mean rubbish at tough love? | |||
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"Ok....so, I need some advice off parents of year 13 students. Their secondary education is quickly coming to an end. Exams looming. Things are about to get real! My son is doing A levels, design and geography. He dropped maths because he didn't get on with his teacher and he couldn't change groups ~ that was a bit of a shame as he's a clever lad (A* at gcse). Although he doesn't appear to give two hoots what his A level results will be. He decided against uni ages ago, he'd rather start earning some money. He didn't get an apprenticeship he applied for which he was disappointed about, understandably. Since then he's been really despondent, with no plan for post A levels. I know I need to have a chat with him about it all but I don't want to be a hassly parent. It's a scary world for young people these days. Someone tell me this is normal." Has he decided which career path he wants to take? I deal with stuff on a regular basis. Ive got 3 apprentices working for me and i mentor at local college aswell so feel free to pm me if you help, advice or just a rant | |||
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"Ok....so, I need some advice off parents of year 13 students. Their secondary education is quickly coming to an end. Exams looming. Things are about to get real! My son is doing A levels, design and geography. He dropped maths because he didn't get on with his teacher and he couldn't change groups ~ that was a bit of a shame as he's a clever lad (A* at gcse). Although he doesn't appear to give two hoots what his A level results will be. He decided against uni ages ago, he'd rather start earning some money. He didn't get an apprenticeship he applied for which he was disappointed about, understandably. Since then he's been really despondent, with no plan for post A levels. I know I need to have a chat with him about it all but I don't want to be a hassly parent. It's a scary world for young people these days. Someone tell me this is normal." Could he not keep applying for apprenticeships in the meantime while looking at other options ? | |||
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"Been there before Christmas with my son. He got 13 GCSEs and is doing Maths, Physics and Geography A level but no intention of going to Uni. We got round his depression after a lot of chatting and soul searching. PM us if you want. That's a full on workload! What are his plans now? I don't think my son is depressed, just finding it all a little daunting. Thank you x" My son was falling into depression because although he wasn’t going to uni he saw no means of holding down a job with no transport. He has always had an interest in Engineering after following my career. He had his driving licence but had no money to buy a car and his mum who he lives with wouldn’t help him. So I bought him a car, taxed and insured it. He then applied for engineering apprenticeships and was offered some fantastic roles , from JLR, Airbus and BP tanker fleet engineering cadet amongst the dozen or so he applied for. All because he knew he could take on a job with confidence of getting there. Usually with our offspring the problem to them is massive with only a small solution to solve the problem. And talking to them with honesty and openness is the key to helping them. | |||
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"Our kids are way past year 13 but the thing to remember is that there's no need to decide on the rest of your life at 18 years old. It's ok to try a few jobs, it's fine after working in McDonald's for three months to decide that university is a great idea after all. I think the pressure that's put on young people tends to cloud the issue a bit. I'd say open up conversation but point out all the options available including doing an entry level job while he's making up his mind or researching other apprenticeships. Thank you so much. I can always rely on you guys for a well rounded, sensible response. There is a lot of pressure on our young people ~ another reason why I don't want to hassle him. Just got to pick the right moment for 'that' chat!" Good luck .
We told both of ours that doing nothing was not an option but there were three other options available to them, an apprenticeship, a job or education. They both found their way after a couple of false starts (it's hard to watch your children struggle with decisions and make mistakes but how else do they become rounded adults?) and are both now very successful.
Best wishes to your son it'll work out I'm sure. | |||
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"Ok....so, I need some advice off parents of year 13 students. Their secondary education is quickly coming to an end. Exams looming. Things are about to get real! My son is doing A levels, design and geography. He dropped maths because he didn't get on with his teacher and he couldn't change groups ~ that was a bit of a shame as he's a clever lad (A* at gcse). Although he doesn't appear to give two hoots what his A level results will be. He decided against uni ages ago, he'd rather start earning some money. He didn't get an apprenticeship he applied for which he was disappointed about, understandably. Since then he's been really despondent, with no plan for post A levels. I know I need to have a chat with him about it all but I don't want to be a hassly parent. It's a scary world for young people these days. Someone tell me this is normal." Sound almost exactly like me and the same situation as I was in, sorry if that's a worry! | |||
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"Ok....so, I need some advice off parents of year 13 students. Their secondary education is quickly coming to an end. Exams looming. Things are about to get real! My son is doing A levels, design and geography. He dropped maths because he didn't get on with his teacher and he couldn't change groups ~ that was a bit of a shame as he's a clever lad (A* at gcse). Although he doesn't appear to give two hoots what his A level results will be. He decided against uni ages ago, he'd rather start earning some money. He didn't get an apprenticeship he applied for which he was disappointed about, understandably. Since then he's been really despondent, with no plan for post A levels. I know I need to have a chat with him about it all but I don't want to be a hassly parent. It's a scary world for young people these days. Someone tell me this is normal. Has he decided which career path he wants to take? I deal with stuff on a regular basis. Ive got 3 apprentices working for me and i mentor at local college aswell so feel free to pm me if you help, advice or just a rant " Thank you | |||
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" Could he not keep applying for apprenticeships in the meantime while looking at other options ? " Yes, but he's not finding it easy. | |||
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"Going to university is great fun and lots of dept I’m a plumber earn decent money work for my self good crack with people I work with can disappear for a few hours shopping that sort of stuff But I like what I do and can pick and chose My eldest lad is 18 done GCSE then college and hope he will do an apprenticeship but they are very difficult to point in a direction at that age " Yes, they are!! There's a really fine line between guiding them and simply pissing them off  | |||
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"Ok....so, I need some advice off parents of year 13 students. Their secondary education is quickly coming to an end. Exams looming. Things are about to get real! My son is doing A levels, design and geography. He dropped maths because he didn't get on with his teacher and he couldn't change groups ~ that was a bit of a shame as he's a clever lad (A* at gcse). Although he doesn't appear to give two hoots what his A level results will be. He decided against uni ages ago, he'd rather start earning some money. He didn't get an apprenticeship he applied for which he was disappointed about, understandably. Since then he's been really despondent, with no plan for post A levels. I know I need to have a chat with him about it all but I don't want to be a hassly parent. It's a scary world for young people these days. Someone tell me this is normal. Totally normal. I work with A level students and see this every year. They all find their place eventually. Xx Funny enough my son's reception teacher who has retired now pooped into my work earlier and said exactly the same thing ~ Thank you "He will make you a very proud momma one day. Xx | |||
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" Could he not keep applying for apprenticeships in the meantime while looking at other options ? Yes, but he's not finding it easy." What apprenticeship is he looking for? | |||
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"Our two are both in their early twenties now but neither really knew what they wanted to do after finishing education. Our son whilst unsure of a career is pretty driven and once he had set his mind to something he goes all out for it. He chose not to go to uni applied for a number of jobs, got a job in an office and absolutely hated it so applied for apprenticeships as an Outdoor Activity leader. Since then he has worked all over the country and is currently in Australia. Our daughter at sixteen got into an abusive relationship which destroyed her life for three years and for which she is still paying for in many ways. Ultimately she sorted herself out went to college did an access course and is now at Uni training to become a nurse. Yes it is a scary world for young adult these days but they do have time. Time to make the odd mistake or get some life experiences before society forces them to conform. " I like that everyone's path is different. It's the getting 'there't that's important. They can pick up some valuable life lessons on the way which can be invaluable later on. | |||
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" Could he not keep applying for apprenticeships in the meantime while looking at other options ? Yes, but he's not finding it easy. What apprenticeship is he looking for? " Something engineery but he's really not sure. | |||
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"I dont have any advice but I'd say any kid with supportive loving understanding parents has a head start. I knows kids might not express how they feel but I know from mine that once reality hits home(especially if things aren't going to plan) its daunting for them. The only 1 thing I have really learnt is that tough love is a good thing. I was rubbish at it and saw the results of it." What do you mean tough love is a good thing? | |||
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"Some are lucky, and they know what sector they want to work in, and therefore dedicated to a certain learning path. Others, leave it more to chance. Not a parent, but as my parents are treating me as a 9 yo at the moment, and so I've told them to completely butt out. I wanted to be an electrician, but was sent to secretarial school. Your son is the expert on him, all you can do is see what opportunities are out there. " Awwwww, I wouldn't make my kids do anything. They grow up so much quicker these days and become independent over night almost x | |||
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"My son is coming to the end of his second year at Uni. He still doesn’t know what he really wants to do. There is a particular area of his degree that he is really interested in so is going to focus on that in the final year. He could do something in that field after graduation. He has also developed a number of other passions where he has developed marketable skills. His view is he is entering a very different world of work to the one his mum and dad entered. There he thinks having a portfolio of things he can do will put him in a better place than I’d he focuses on one specialism. Our job as parents has been to facilitate his self development y providing resources and encouragement and only intervening more directly when he says he’s stuck. He is very open with us now, much more so that at Year 11-13 stage although that openness developed significantly during that period. We provide very little direction now as he is focused and self-directing." Reassuring, thanks Doc x | |||
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"Absolutely normal and it doesn't stop at 18 either - I've literally 15 mins ago come off the phone from my almost 25 year old who did A Levels, went to Uni and has been lost since he finished 2 years ago and has gone from thing to thing ever since without really finding what he wants to do BUT he has seen parts of the world I can only dream of seeing in that time - has worked on volunteer projects and a load more besides, all of which, as I pointed out to him, are great life experience. Times have changed since we were growing up when the path was school to GCEs to job, or school to GCEs to A Levels to job or Uni and then job - when I was my son's age I was in the process of buying a flat and had been with the company I was with for 4 years (of what turned out to be a 13 year stretch) - nowadays things are very different and it's not so important to "settle down". It's a worry, of course it is, but they find their way - sometimes by going the long way round, sometimes more directly. As parents all we can do is be there for them to support and guide them when they need it. Having a concerned parent discussion without being hassly is the way to go - let him know what you think without telling him what he *should* do - help him discover the options he has, and encourage him to consider them all without putting pressure on him - let him know it's ok to not know what he wants but help guide him to find it." Oh fucking hell don't say it doesn't stop!! Only joking. Always the voice of reason, thanks. You really are a Gem | |||
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