FabSwingers.com forum: Controversial

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

But fuck it - I'm going to say it anyway.

To cut a long story short- there is someone I like.

And he has just admitted to me that he wants to meet a TV.

And it's put me off him

I'm confused by my reaction and a bit ashamed of myself as I'm Bi and wouldn't in a million years describe myself as a homophobe

He also admitted to engaging in sexual acts with other men from couples meets.

It turns me off.

I'd like to understand these feelings and know if anyone else feels the same way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm, now. I'm gonna hedge my bets that it may be more that he's different in a way you weren't expecting, therefore what you thought he was like, he isn't, so now you don't feel like you know him as well as you thought you did.

I could be proper wrong tho.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're brave for questioning your reaction. A lot of people wouldn't. Personally it doesn't bother me and I've met a couple men who are bi or into tgirls. Is it because you're attracted to traditionally masculine traits in a male partner and them meeting anyone other than women destroys the fantasy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I should have asked, does it turn you off everyone, or just him?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I should have asked, does it turn you off everyone, or just him?

I'm not sure - if someone is openly Bi and not hiding it then I guess I haven't given it much thought - but I never expected it from him.

I think you're right - I don't feel like I know him at all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You're brave for questioning your reaction. A lot of people wouldn't. Personally it doesn't bother me and I've met a couple men who are bi or into tgirls. Is it because you're attracted to traditionally masculine traits in a male partner and them meeting anyone other than women destroys the fantasy? "

Yes it does destroy it a little.

He is very masculine - but I feel like it's a facade and hes just another one of the hundreds of Fab straight men on here and hes been lying to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it does destroy it a little.

He is very masculine - but I feel like it's a facade and hes just another one of the hundreds of Fab straight men on here and hes been lying to me."

I had a guy lie to me about similar stuff, before I found out the truth. It put me off him completely. Not because of what he was into, but because he was so judgemental of other people and turned out to be a massive hypocrite, who lied about it.

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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago

Masked and Distant

You have to make descicions based on what you want.

It may be a shock or feel disappointed in yourself but everyone has to make their own choices.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes it does destroy it a little.

He is very masculine - but I feel like it's a facade and hes just another one of the hundreds of Fab straight men on here and hes been lying to me."

And herein lies your answer, excuse the pun.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Yes it does destroy it a little.

He is very masculine - but I feel like it's a facade and hes just another one of the hundreds of Fab straight men on here and hes been lying to me."

And you're not attracted to "fab straight" men? I do think it's good that you're exploring your initial reactions and so openly is brave.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

Probably just had him as a ladies man in your head.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes it does destroy it a little.

He is very masculine - but I feel like it's a facade and hes just another one of the hundreds of Fab straight men on here and hes been lying to me.

I'm not 100% sure he's lying - to be honest I just assumed he was straight - his profile says straight and he never said anything about liking other men.

Now he has.

Urgh I don't know anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would ask why.

Why he didn't tell you before.

Why he told you now.

I would also ask him to tell you a bit about it, and how he feels about it.

It could be that it's very situational, will only play that way when the planets align kinda thing, and that's why he didn't feel it necessary to mention it until now, as it's a very rare occurrence.

Talk to him, you may be surprised but I'd make decisions based on the answers you get.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would ask why.

Why he didn't tell you before.

Why he told you now.

I would also ask him to tell you a bit about it, and how he feels about it.

It could be that it's very situational, will only play that way when the planets align kinda thing, and that's why he didn't feel it necessary to mention it until now, as it's a very rare occurrence.

Talk to him, you may be surprised but I'd make decisions based on the answers you get.

Thanks Peach - you're right.

But I no longer want to meet him to be honest - I feel like it's too much like hard work for another Fab Fibber.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But fuck it - I'm going to say it anyway.

To cut a long story short- there is someone I like.

And he has just admitted to me that he wants to meet a TV.

And it's put me off him

I'm confused by my reaction and a bit ashamed of myself as I'm Bi and wouldn't in a million years describe myself as a homophobe

He also admitted to engaging in sexual acts with other men from couples meets.

It turns me off.

I'd like to understand these feelings and know if anyone else feels the same way?

oh ffs get over yerself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would ask why.

Why he didn't tell you before.

Why he told you now.

I would also ask him to tell you a bit about it, and how he feels about it.

It could be that it's very situational, will only play that way when the planets align kinda thing, and that's why he didn't feel it necessary to mention it until now, as it's a very rare occurrence.

Talk to him, you may be surprised but I'd make decisions based on the answers you get.

Thanks Peach - you're right.

But I no longer want to meet him to be honest - I feel like it's too much like hard work for another Fab Fibber.

What makes him a fibber if he hasn’t denied it to you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lie is a lie.. sometimes you can get past that, sometimes not. You can't help your reaction to the matter when it was presented to you without warning. Just go with your gut x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would ask why.

Why he didn't tell you before.

Why he told you now.

I would also ask him to tell you a bit about it, and how he feels about it.

It could be that it's very situational, will only play that way when the planets align kinda thing, and that's why he didn't feel it necessary to mention it until now, as it's a very rare occurrence.

Talk to him, you may be surprised but I'd make decisions based on the answers you get.

Thanks Peach - you're right.

But I no longer want to meet him to be honest - I feel like it's too much like hard work for another Fab Fibber.

Tell him, and tell him the truth as to why you changed your mind about him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lie is a lie.. sometimes you can get past that, sometimes not. You can't help your reaction to the matter when it was presented to you without warning. Just go with your gut x"

I think it's the fact he likes fucking people with a penis that's putting her off more than the fact he has straight on his profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lie is a lie.. sometimes you can get past that, sometimes not. You can't help your reaction to the matter when it was presented to you without warning. Just go with your gut x"

What is the lie?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lie is a lie.. sometimes you can get past that, sometimes not. You can't help your reaction to the matter when it was presented to you without warning. Just go with your gut x

What is the lie? "

Saying straight on his profile..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand why you say he is a fibber. Seems very judgemental as everyone is on fab to explore and that is what's so good about it.

In my experience it is the most masculine of men who love TV and I consider them pretty much straight. Boxers, head scaffolders, military...the most masculine.

So if you think this makes him less of a Man I think you are way off.

That said, if it puts you off that's your natural reaction and that's allowed! Think you are missing out though and should give him a chance ...when he's pumping you silly you might change your mind!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lie is a lie.. sometimes you can get past that, sometimes not. You can't help your reaction to the matter when it was presented to you without warning. Just go with your gut x

I think it's the fact he likes fucking people with a penis that's putting her off more than the fact he has straight on his profile. "

I’ve played with girls ‘situationally’ in the past within a group thing but I’m not into girls. I wouldn’t ever deny it but I wouldn’t put i’m bi on my profile because of a few occasions.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What makes him a fibber if he hasn’t denied it to you? "

I said before - I never asked so technically that doesn't make him a fibber - his profile says straight - and I just assumed.

We were chatting tonight and he told me about it - casually in conversation.

It's my reaction to it that has me confused - not because he's Bi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lie is a lie.. sometimes you can get past that, sometimes not. You can't help your reaction to the matter when it was presented to you without warning. Just go with your gut x

What is the lie?

Saying straight on his profile.. "

oh wow,,,big deal trust me most guys on here aint straight,,sorry to break the bad news

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A lie is a lie.. sometimes you can get past that, sometimes not. You can't help your reaction to the matter when it was presented to you without warning. Just go with your gut x

What is the lie?

Saying straight on his profile.. "

Yes exactly x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lie is a lie.. sometimes you can get past that, sometimes not. You can't help your reaction to the matter when it was presented to you without warning. Just go with your gut x

What is the lie?

Saying straight on his profile.. "

But if he puts bi then he will get attraction from men and maybe he doesn’t want to have men messaging him to meet. The fact he has admitted it to the OP then that’s not fibbing. How he chooses to ‘label’ himself on his profile is his business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lie is a lie.. sometimes you can get past that, sometimes not. You can't help your reaction to the matter when it was presented to you without warning. Just go with your gut x

I think it's the fact he likes fucking people with a penis that's putting her off more than the fact he has straight on his profile. "

I think we often build a perception of someone based on the facts presented. When those facts turn out to be different it can have a bigger effect than if we'd always known.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lie is a lie.. sometimes you can get past that, sometimes not. You can't help your reaction to the matter when it was presented to you without warning. Just go with your gut x

What is the lie?

Saying straight on his profile..

Yes exactly x"

Then you should talk to him about it privately instead of discussing it openly on here so he may see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dare you ladies,,put a ts/tv profile up n see just how many "straight guys are on here,,very few if you ask me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lie is a lie.. sometimes you can get past that, sometimes not. You can't help your reaction to the matter when it was presented to you without warning. Just go with your gut x

What is the lie?

Saying straight on his profile..

I totally get that and am frustrated by the need for labels.. but if you've built up a picture based on facts presented it can kind of throw you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't understand why you say he is a fibber. Seems very judgemental as everyone is on fab to explore and that is what's so good about it.

In my experience it is the most masculine of men who love TV and I consider them pretty much straight. Boxers, head scaffolders, military...the most masculine.

So if you think this makes him less of a Man I think you are way off.

That said, if it puts you off that's your natural reaction and that's allowed! Think you are missing out though and should give him a chance ...when he's pumping you silly you might change your mind!

Yes well I already met him so I know what I'm missing out on

I just wish he had told me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

btw the OP has,nt named anyone so whats the problem?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"btw the OP has,nt named anyone so whats the problem?"

What if the said person saw this thread?

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

"I would ask why.

Why he didn't tell you before.

Why he told you now.

I would also ask him to tell you a bit about it, and how he feels about it.

It could be that it's very situational, will only play that way when the planets align kinda thing, and that's why he didn't feel it necessary to mention it until now, as it's a very rare occurrence.

Talk to him, you may be surprised but I'd make decisions based on the answers you get.

Thanks Peach - you're right.

But I no longer want to meet him to be honest - I feel like it's too much like hard work for another Fab Fibber.

What makes him a fibber if he hasn’t denied it to you? "

This, how has he fibbed? He's just been totally honest which I would have thought he would gain some respect for.

If he's previously said he has never or would never get involved with men then yeah he previously lied.

He has straight on his profile and so may class himself as straight and wouldn't consider that dishonest, not that I necessarily agree with it but plenty of guys who play with guys consider themselves straight.

If you don't want to meet him because he likes guys then fair enough that's your choice and I wouldn't criticise that but would say be careful not to fall into the trap of blaming him unfairly for how you feel.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A lie is a lie.. sometimes you can get past that, sometimes not. You can't help your reaction to the matter when it was presented to you without warning. Just go with your gut x

What is the lie?

Saying straight on his profile..

Yes exactly x

Then you should talk to him about it privately instead of discussing it openly on here so he may see it. "

I've already discussed it with him.

I was actually interested if anyone else has felt as I do.

I appreciate it's a touchy subject - and I don't have anyone else to talk to about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't understand why you say he is a fibber. Seems very judgemental as everyone is on fab to explore and that is what's so good about it.

In my experience it is the most masculine of men who love TV and I consider them pretty much straight. Boxers, head scaffolders, military...the most masculine.

So if you think this makes him less of a Man I think you are way off.

That said, if it puts you off that's your natural reaction and that's allowed! Think you are missing out though and should give him a chance ...when he's pumping you silly you might change your mind!

Yes well I already met him so I know what I'm missing out on

I just wish he had told me x"

He did. Meet him again and see in person. Just say you don't want to hear about that side. Simple.

I do get how one sentence or word can just put you off...but I'd give it another go. In person.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Were you expecting him to be exclusive to you OP? If so, then it's probably good that this has come out in open. When I met my ex, we came clean with each other on our second night together, she told me she was seeing another guy, and I said so am I

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"btw the OP has,nt named anyone so whats the problem?

What if the said person saw this thread? "

hope he has the lying prick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"btw the OP has,nt named anyone so whats the problem?

What if the said person saw this thread?

hope he has the lying prick

Oiiii!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A lie is a lie.. sometimes you can get past that, sometimes not. You can't help your reaction to the matter when it was presented to you without warning. Just go with your gut x

What is the lie?

Saying straight on his profile..

Yes exactly x

Then you should talk to him about it privately instead of discussing it openly on here so he may see it.

I've already discussed it with him.

I was actually interested if anyone else has felt as I do.

I appreciate it's a touchy subject - and I don't have anyone else to talk to about it."

Yes I have, and I asked the questions. The replies I got made a huge difference and gave me understanding rather than just the black and white.

I asked myself what I would have done under those circumstances and if I could answer anywhere close to the answers I got, then that was cool with me.

If the answers were selfish ones, not cool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

haha

yea yet its no biggy if they,ve shagged a thousand women on here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

" be careful not to fall into the trap of blaming him unfairly for how you feel.

Yes you're absolutely right!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But fuck it - I'm going to say it anyway.

To cut a long story short- there is someone I like.

And he has just admitted to me that he wants to meet a TV.

And it's put me off him

I'm confused by my reaction and a bit ashamed of myself as I'm Bi and wouldn't in a million years describe myself as a homophobe

He also admitted to engaging in sexual acts with other men from couples meets.

It turns me off.

I'd like to understand these feelings and know if anyone else feels the same way?

It does smack of double standards but you can't help how you feel and you will only like what you like.

There is a stigma against bi men but there's no point anyone fucking complaining about it

It's just life, crack on with those you like and don't with those you don't no matter what the reason is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't understand why you say he is a fibber. Seems very judgemental as everyone is on fab to explore and that is what's so good about it.

In my experience it is the most masculine of men who love TV and I consider them pretty much straight. Boxers, head scaffolders, military...the most masculine.

So if you think this makes him less of a Man I think you are way off.

That said, if it puts you off that's your natural reaction and that's allowed! Think you are missing out though and should give him a chance ...when he's pumping you silly you might change your mind!

Yes well I already met him so I know what I'm missing out on

I just wish he had told me x

He did. Meet him again and see in person. Just say you don't want to hear about that side. Simple.

I do get how one sentence or word can just put you off...but I'd give it another go. In person. "

Absolutely agree. Maybe it's a snap reaction to unexpected news rather than something you can't get past x

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By *untimesalwaysWoman
over a year ago

Falkirk

Are you jealous in anyway when he talks about his meets with other women?

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By *he Cheeky GirlsCouple (FF)
over a year ago

Dover and Benidorm

Some straight guys like trans girls too, but aren't attracted to men. If I had a pound for every straight guy who hits on us we'd be rich.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't understand why you say he is a fibber. Seems very judgemental as everyone is on fab to explore and that is what's so good about it.

In my experience it is the most masculine of men who love TV and I consider them pretty much straight. Boxers, head scaffolders, military...the most masculine.

So if you think this makes him less of a Man I think you are way off.

That said, if it puts you off that's your natural reaction and that's allowed! Think you are missing out though and should give him a chance ...when he's pumping you silly you might change your mind!

Yes well I already met him so I know what I'm missing out on

I just wish he had told me x

He did. Meet him again and see in person. Just say you don't want to hear about that side. Simple.

I do get how one sentence or word can just put you off...but I'd give it another go. In person.

Absolutely agree. Maybe it's a snap reaction to unexpected news rather than something you can't get past x"

Best thing to say is 'I really don't want to hear about it thanks"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dare you ladies,,put a ts/tv profile up n see just how many "straight guys are on here,,very few if you ask me"

I'd say over 90% of messages I get looking for cock or their cock sucked are from" straight" profiles

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

While I think it's great you're willing to talk and explore your reactions to this, please bear in mind how hard it is for anyone to actually admit they are bisexual. Especially a man.

There is still a huge stigma for some people, men especially, the view and perception it some how makes men less masculine because they are attracted to other men.

It could be that in having conversations with you he felt he could be open and honest with you because he didn't want to lie to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attraction is personal

I was in a 7 year relationship with a guy

I found him immensely sexy from the first time I clapped eyes on him

He could be a bit of a dick at times and we fought like cat and dog

But I thought he was sexy as fuck

Then he had another tattoo of a shrunken skull from his shoulder blades to the small of his back

It was fuckin awful

His allure disappeared pretty much overnight

From that day on I saw only his ugly side

With no sex appeal to counter his temper tantrums, his fate was pretty much sealed

Within 6 months we had split up

Now OP, you might think this witter has nothing to do with your situation, but it just goes to show that attraction is a fickle beast

We can rarely control what we find attractive and what we don't

Your reaction to his confession may have taken you by surprise, but you should understand that whilst you are happy to be gay / bi / trans friendly, you find attraction in a man that isn't

There is no real conflict

What you support morally and as a decent person, isn't necessarily something you want in your own sex life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

Is it imagining him putting his penis in a man's arse that puts you off? Or vice versa?

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

" be careful not to fall into the trap of blaming him unfairly for how you feel.

Yes you're absolutely right!"

It's easy to do, if you suddenly feel disappointed or shocked or sad it's fairly natural to look for something or someone to blame. It's easier to blame a person than look deeper at what's happened.

It may just be a simple lack of communication that's led to how you now feel and nothing more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"While I think it's great you're willing to talk and explore your reactions to this, please bear in mind how hard it is for anyone to actually admit they are bisexual. Especially a man.

There is still a huge stigma for some people, men especially, the view and perception it some how makes men less masculine because they are attracted to other men.

It could be that in having conversations with you he felt he could be open and honest with you because he didn't want to lie to you. "

He's not bi I don't think. Attracted to TV is not bi really. I'm guessing but the men I meet have zero interest in guys ..only in femininity.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Attraction is personal

I was in a 7 year relationship with a guy

I found him immensely sexy from the first time I clapped eyes on him

He could be a bit of a dick at times and we fought like cat and dog

But I thought he was sexy as fuck

Then he had another tattoo of a shrunken skull from his shoulder blades to the small of his back

It was fuckin awful

His allure disappeared pretty much overnight

From that day on I saw only his ugly side

With no sex appeal to counter his temper tantrums, his fate was pretty much sealed

Within 6 months we had split up

Now OP, you might think this witter has nothing to do with your situation, but it just goes to show that attraction is a fickle beast

We can rarely control what we find attractive and what we don't

Your reaction to his confession may have taken you by surprise, but you should understand that whilst you are happy to be gay / bi / trans friendly, you find attraction in a man that isn't

There is no real conflict

What you support morally and as a decent person, isn't necessarily something you want in your own sex life

Thanks for this - Attraction really is fickle

It really might be that simple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Attraction is personal

I was in a 7 year relationship with a guy

I found him immensely sexy from the first time I clapped eyes on him

He could be a bit of a dick at times and we fought like cat and dog

But I thought he was sexy as fuck

Then he had another tattoo of a shrunken skull from his shoulder blades to the small of his back

It was fuckin awful

His allure disappeared pretty much overnight

From that day on I saw only his ugly side

With no sex appeal to counter his temper tantrums, his fate was pretty much sealed

Within 6 months we had split up

Now OP, you might think this witter has nothing to do with your situation, but it just goes to show that attraction is a fickle beast

We can rarely control what we find attractive and what we don't

Your reaction to his confession may have taken you by surprise, but you should understand that whilst you are happy to be gay / bi / trans friendly, you find attraction in a man that isn't

There is no real conflict

What you support morally and as a decent person, isn't necessarily something you want in your own sex life

Thanks for this - Attraction really is fickle

It really might be that simple.

My very manly long term partner messaged yummy, that took me ages to get over. Grown men don't say yummy. I actually cringed when I read it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Attraction is personal

I was in a 7 year relationship with a guy

I found him immensely sexy from the first time I clapped eyes on him

He could be a bit of a dick at times and we fought like cat and dog

But I thought he was sexy as fuck

Then he had another tattoo of a shrunken skull from his shoulder blades to the small of his back

It was fuckin awful

His allure disappeared pretty much overnight

From that day on I saw only his ugly side

With no sex appeal to counter his temper tantrums, his fate was pretty much sealed

Within 6 months we had split up

Now OP, you might think this witter has nothing to do with your situation, but it just goes to show that attraction is a fickle beast

We can rarely control what we find attractive and what we don't

Your reaction to his confession may have taken you by surprise, but you should understand that whilst you are happy to be gay / bi / trans friendly, you find attraction in a man that isn't

There is no real conflict

What you support morally and as a decent person, isn't necessarily something you want in your own sex life

Thanks for this - Attraction really is fickle

It really might be that simple.

My very manly long term partner messaged yummy, that took me ages to get over. Grown men don't say yummy. I actually cringed when I read it."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel. "

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel. "

I think trust your gut OP. See how you feel in a few days but if the attraction has gone don't beat yourself up about it.

The 'why' is irrelevant. As others have said, it could just be your 'dream' of him that's gone. How you imagined him to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/04/19 22:36:53]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sexual thrills and attraction are predominantly in the head, if it does it for you, go for it, however, if it doesn't, well...

I think people both sides of the tracks need to get over this.

Everyone is individual,accept that and be yourself, never try to fit in.

My comment here is reaction to other reactions here, rather than the initial post.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

This is why guys stay in the closet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My very manly long term partner messaged yummy, that took me ages to get over. Grown men don't say yummy. I actually cringed when I read it."

"Yummy" and "hehe" are definitely deal breakers!

I'm more comfortable with the image of him sucking a cock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know of a few women, who feel having sex with a man who has sex with other men especially tv/ts affects how they feel as a woman and leaves them questioning their own femininity. I don’t know if this has anything to do with your felt response.

My own journey to accepting my own bisexuality/pansexuality was a confusing one as I vacillated between curiosity and denial. There were times when I identified as straight because I thought I was, even though I wasn’t in reality.

I haven’t had sexual contact with anyone other than cis-women for the last 9 years. Maybe I’m in denial of my heterosexuality and I’m actually straight.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

Exactly, I lost a long term "best mate" when I confessed to him that I was bi, even though we had worked away together and shared the same room for 9 months, gone camping together and all sorts of other things. He is now now no longer with us, but I do regret telling him as we were really good mates up until that point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

You accept your gut and feelings direct you. That's life.. no biggie. Stay and move on.. you're braver than most for vocalising something that torments you. We've all done it.. we like what we like. No apologies required. I dumped a guy for kicking my dog off the bed.. I survived

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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

If guys being straight in the traditional sense is absolutely crucial then I can see how it's tricky on here. I'm totally straight myself but have plenty of people think I'm not as so many other guys are "fab straight", can't really win!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

Yup me too

My pals reaction was 'I guess this is my Sex & The City Moment'

That was the last I ever heard off him

We'd been friends since we were 13

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Irrespective of your thoughts on the rights or wrongs of him hiding his sexuality...

He projected a persona, which you liked.

He revealed more about himself and for whatever reason, you don't like what you saw.

The fact he is fibbing, or not, hid the truth or you made the wrong assumptions doesn't matter. You have gone off him.

Very brave of you to declare it openly within the forums, considering how you are likely to be judged. If the spark has gone, it's gone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

Yup me too

My pals reaction was 'I guess this is my Sex & The City Moment'

That was the last I ever heard off him

We'd been friends since we were 13"

That’s really sad

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Maybe I’m in denial of my heterosexuality and I’m actually straight."

C'mon Doc, we've got to shag each other before you turn into Brightonsteve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how about some cheese on toast,,not controversial at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My very manly long term partner messaged yummy, that took me ages to get over. Grown men don't say yummy. I actually cringed when I read it.

"Yummy" and "hehe" are definitely deal breakers!

I'm more comfortable with the image of him sucking a cock

I looked at him in a totally different light after that. I got over it though as he's very hot and a great fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how about some cheese on toast,,not controversial at all

I’ve eaten too much chocolate I feel

Sick

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

We join up the dots, when we don't have the complete picture - usually to our advantage and influenced by what we think we want.

And yet it's unrealistic to expect to know someone that well, until we've spent a lot of time or experienced much together. If our illusions are off, it's normal to lose the certainty we had, however great the person may be.

If the same reaction had happened over something else, it gives you the same opportunity to take stock of things. We're often in a heady drive, when we find someone who could be some type of partner. Having pause for thought is healthy. Whether the differences that you are now aware of are something you can accept, is ultimately for you to decide. Could the gains be worth you each getting to know each other better and could exploring a new approach to something an aspect of you becoming a bit more free and easy, shedding something of a straightjacket, being more at liberty?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable. "

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here.

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

"But fuck it - I'm going to say it anyway.

To cut a long story short- there is someone I like.

And he has just admitted to me that he wants to meet a TV.

And it's put me off him

I'm confused by my reaction and a bit ashamed of myself as I'm Bi and wouldn't in a million years describe myself as a homophobe

He also admitted to engaging in sexual acts with other men from couples meets.

It turns me off.

I'd like to understand these feelings and know if anyone else feels the same way?

Funnily enough no

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But fuck it - I'm going to say it anyway.

To cut a long story short- there is someone I like.

And he has just admitted to me that he wants to meet a TV.

And it's put me off him

I'm confused by my reaction and a bit ashamed of myself as I'm Bi and wouldn't in a million years describe myself as a homophobe

He also admitted to engaging in sexual acts with other men from couples meets.

It turns me off.

I'd like to understand these feelings and know if anyone else feels the same way?

Funnily enough no

Just ignore me Stella - I literally have no filter

It's like having some bizzare form of Tourettes!

I say what other people think- this is why I have no friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here."

I agree. I would love to see at least more ability to at least take the perspective of others that have a different view or felt experience, even if they can’t feel emotional empathy.

I’ve talked about my bisexuality with women that have been put off by it. I think it is also part of why men hide it too. There is a feeling that in some ways bisexuality feminises men (the language is often used). This is even more apparent with cross dressing for TVs. Men who don’t want to appear emasculated, or feel shame about their sexual feelings towards men, or at least do not want the negative perception of bisexuality to affect their chance of meeting women where there is mutual attraction, understandably hide their sexuality. Beyond the dislike of the thought of man on man sex, some women might consider it impacts the perception of their own femininity, because of this perception of a feminised man and that puts them off.

I know a number of women who would think differently about me if I weren’t openly bisexual on here, even though I haven’t had any sexual contact with a man for 9 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't understand why you say he is a fibber. Seems very judgemental as everyone is on fab to explore and that is what's so good about it.

In my experience it is the most masculine of men who love TV and I consider them pretty much straight. Boxers, head scaffolders, military...the most masculine.

So if you think this makes him less of a Man I think you are way off.

That said, if it puts you off that's your natural reaction and that's allowed! Think you are missing out though and should give him a chance ...when he's pumping you silly you might change your mind!

Yes well I already met him so I know what I'm missing out on

I just wish he had told me x"

Considered he may have taken time to get to know you to feel confident opening up with this. Perhaps he was going to ask about experimenting together ? Perhaps as your not straight he thought you would be open to discuss on it . Variables .

Is it TVs he wants to try or transsexuals . Differences and all.

Ultimately though if you lost interest you lost interest though perhaps state it in profile to not fib that you like men only into cis females

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks Doc

I knew so wasn't the only woman that felt this way!

I was hoping to have a discussion about how these women feel - and you have helped me understand my feelings a little better x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't understand why you say he is a fibber. Seems very judgemental as everyone is on fab to explore and that is what's so good about it.

In my experience it is the most masculine of men who love TV and I consider them pretty much straight. Boxers, head scaffolders, military...the most masculine.

So if you think this makes him less of a Man I think you are way off.

That said, if it puts you off that's your natural reaction and that's allowed! Think you are missing out though and should give him a chance ...when he's pumping you silly you might change your mind!

Yes well I already met him so I know what I'm missing out on

I just wish he had told me x

Is it TVs he wants to try or transsexuals . Differences and all.

Ultimately though if you lost interest you lost interest though perhaps state it in profile to not fib that you like men only into cis females

I don't know - I didn't give him the chance to discuss what he wants - I just immediately over reacted ( inwardly )

My OP was really about my reaction and why this is bothering me so much and if anyone else would feel the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here.

I agree. I would love to see at least more ability to at least take the perspective of others that have a different view or felt experience, even if they can’t feel emotional empathy.

I know a number of women who would think differently about me if I weren’t openly bisexual on here, even though I haven’t had any sexual contact with a man for 9 years."

Does it bother you though ?

I have the mindset that I don't want to fuck everyone and everyone won't want to fuck me

So, why try to win round those people by being overly meticulous about how you present yourself ?

Just be honest and true to you. That's good enough for me.

I'd sooner people saw what they were getting into - if they don't like what they see, fair enough

It's not always been like this, but nowadays I don't really care what a group of strangers on a swinging site forum think of me or why I am here or what I get up to on or away from the site

Then again I am not particularly looking to meet up

I think that might be the critical driver in this approach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't understand why you say he is a fibber. Seems very judgemental as everyone is on fab to explore and that is what's so good about it.

In my experience it is the most masculine of men who love TV and I consider them pretty much straight. Boxers, head scaffolders, military...the most masculine.

So if you think this makes him less of a Man I think you are way off.

That said, if it puts you off that's your natural reaction and that's allowed! Think you are missing out though and should give him a chance ...when he's pumping you silly you might change your mind!

Yes well I already met him so I know what I'm missing out on

I just wish he had told me x

Is it TVs he wants to try or transsexuals . Differences and all.

Ultimately though if you lost interest you lost interest though perhaps state it in profile to not fib that you like men only into cis females

I don't know - I didn't give him the chance to discuss what he wants - I just immediately over reacted ( inwardly )

My OP was really about my reaction and why this is bothering me so much and if anyone else would feel the same."

Yes I'd feel the same. It would put me off too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also OP ...

(sorry, you can tell I've got a free hour this morning

)

In terms of the fickle nature of attraction

I am not into guys fucking me

I tried it, I didn't like it

I tried it again, I didn't like it

So, in the gay/bi parlance, I am a top. I like to do the fucking

but here's the thing ...

I like fucking guys but I don't fancy guys who obviously like being fucked

Total bottom guys are a complete turn off

The camp / effiminite ones do nothing for me at all, never have, never will

The ones that are proper masculine but like their bums played with just wreck my head - the masculinity versus the willingness to take it up the jacksy just jars with me

So I am left with a very small proportion of guys (laddy types usually) who will allow play to start and, if it leads that way, are happy to be topped

The best sex to me is like a good buffet - I will take a bit of what I want as I go along

I don't want a set menu that I can view before tucking in

Fucking by numbers has no place with me

See, fickle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here.

I agree. I would love to see at least more ability to at least take the perspective of others that have a different view or felt experience, even if they can’t feel emotional empathy.

I know a number of women who would think differently about me if I weren’t openly bisexual on here, even though I haven’t had any sexual contact with a man for 9 years.

Does it bother you though ?

I have the mindset that I don't want to fuck everyone and everyone won't want to fuck me

So, why try to win round those people by being overly meticulous about how you present yourself ?

Just be honest and true to you. That's good enough for me.

I'd sooner people saw what they were getting into - if they don't like what they see, fair enough

It's not always been like this, but nowadays I don't really care what a group of strangers on a swinging site forum think of me or why I am here or what I get up to on or away from the site

Then again I am not particularly looking to meet up

I think that might be the critical driver in this approach

It doesn’t bother me. I am only interested in meeting people who get me and I get them, where there is mutual attraction based on who we are. I have met for sex once in over 5 years which tells its own story. I spent most of my life denying my sexuality. I’m buggered if I’m going to spend the latter years denying even if I don’t ever act on it agaIn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here.

I agree. I would love to see at least more ability to at least take the perspective of others that have a different view or felt experience, even if they can’t feel emotional empathy.

I know a number of women who would think differently about me if I weren’t openly bisexual on here, even though I haven’t had any sexual contact with a man for 9 years.

Does it bother you though ?

I have the mindset that I don't want to fuck everyone and everyone won't want to fuck me

So, why try to win round those people by being overly meticulous about how you present yourself ?

Just be honest and true to you. That's good enough for me.

I'd sooner people saw what they were getting into - if they don't like what they see, fair enough

It's not always been like this, but nowadays I don't really care what a group of strangers on a swinging site forum think of me or why I am here or what I get up to on or away from the site

Then again I am not particularly looking to meet up

I think that might be the critical driver in this approach

If I knew how to do the loveheart symbol on here you could have one for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here.

I agree. I would love to see at least more ability to at least take the perspective of others that have a different view or felt experience, even if they can’t feel emotional empathy.

I know a number of women who would think differently about me if I weren’t openly bisexual on here, even though I haven’t had any sexual contact with a man for 9 years.

Does it bother you though ?

I have the mindset that I don't want to fuck everyone and everyone won't want to fuck me

So, why try to win round those people by being overly meticulous about how you present yourself ?

Just be honest and true to you. That's good enough for me.

I'd sooner people saw what they were getting into - if they don't like what they see, fair enough

It's not always been like this, but nowadays I don't really care what a group of strangers on a swinging site forum think of me or why I am here or what I get up to on or away from the site

Then again I am not particularly looking to meet up

I think that might be the critical driver in this approach

If I knew how to do the loveheart symbol on here you could have one for that

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By *on12xxMan
over a year ago

leeds

Thought woman turned on by men playing in mmf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought woman turned on by men playing in mmf"

Some are

For others, the mere thought makes them drier than the bottom of a budgies cage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought woman turned on by men playing in mmf"

Unsurprisingly there are lots of women who aren’t.

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By *on12xxMan
over a year ago

leeds

Ladies what u think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here."

Absolutely this. I don’t blame them either but I guess I’m too stubborn and can’t keep my mouth shut! I’ve been upset by it before though so I see why people won’t give their opinions on things. It happened last night on the LGBT thread. I had 8 PMs agreeing with me but not in the thread! People just can’t be bothered and that’s what’s happening in real life too. People just won’t say anything to anyone for fear of offending someone. Very sad x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought woman turned on by men playing in mmf

Unsurprisingly there are lots of women who aren’t. "

Not many though. I always seem to be the only one on those threads who doesn’t x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought woman turned on by men playing in mmf"

Who told you it was a universal thing?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Also OP ...

(sorry, you can tell I've got a free hour this morning

)

In terms of the fickle nature of attraction

I am not into guys fucking me

I tried it, I didn't like it

I tried it again, I didn't like it

So, in the gay/bi parlance, I am a top. I like to do the fucking

but here's the thing ...

I like fucking guys but I don't fancy guys who obviously like being fucked

Total bottom guys are a complete turn off

The camp / effiminite ones do nothing for me at all, never have, never will

The ones that are proper masculine but like their bums played with just wreck my head - the masculinity versus the willingness to take it up the jacksy just jars with me

So I am left with a very small proportion of guys (laddy types usually) who will allow play to start and, if it leads that way, are happy to be topped

The best sex to me is like a good buffet - I will take a bit of what I want as I go along

I don't want a set menu that I can view before tucking in

Fucking by numbers has no place with me

See, fickle

Hahaa

nicely put.

I think everyone likes a buffet dont they

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turn it around, think about why he told you? It shows he trusts you surely.

Maybe step away and think things through before deciding not to see him, you could be missing out on something amazing.

I had been with my fwb 6 months when he told me he was bi, nobody else knows, and he told me he was confused, I helped him talk through his feelings. He now wants me to help him explore. Sometimes just talking and understanding helps, just try not to make him feel crappy, he can't help who he is attracted too.

Good luck! I'm sure you will come to an outcome right for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought woman turned on by men playing in mmf

Unsurprisingly there are lots of women who aren’t.

Not many though. I always seem to be the only one on those threads who doesn’t x"

I think that the women, who like man on man action and post the Lounge and Swingers Chat, are a disproportionate sample of the general population

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Turn it around, think about why he told you? It shows he trusts you surely.

Maybe step away and think things through before deciding not to see him, you could be missing out on something amazing.

Good luck! I'm sure you will come to an outcome right for you. "

I’d be really interested to hear if any woman has changed her view on man-on-man sex from having a strong negative reaction to a positive one where they enjoyed seeing it and wanted to help a partner explore...

The reason I say that, is that I found man-on-man sex and seeing guys kissing very uncomfortable viewing for years. I was embarrassed seeing the Oliver Reed and Alan Bates naked wrestling in Women in Love. I couldn’t really watch some of the scenes with Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback mountain, without feeling acute embarrassment. Yet now I love watching some men in action with others. So my perception as I accepted my own sexuality changed dramatically.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought woman turned on by men playing in mmf

Unsurprisingly there are lots of women who aren’t.

Not many though. I always seem to be the only one on those threads who doesn’t x

I think that the women, who like man on man action and post the Lounge and Swingers Chat, are a disproportionate sample of the general population

It did surprise me to be honest. I was just about to say that none of my real life friends do but maybe we’re wrong as maybe people feel they can be more honest about their likes and dislikes on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Turn it around, think about why he told you? It shows he trusts you surely.

Maybe step away and think things through before deciding not to see him, you could be missing out on something amazing.

Good luck! I'm sure you will come to an outcome right for you.

Yes this place has made me change my views on an awful lot of things. I would have said I’d never meet a bisexual man but now even though it’s unlikely I wouldn’t say never. I can’t see me ever finding watching 2 men together a turn on though, it’s just really not my thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Turn it around, think about why he told you? It shows he trusts you surely.

Maybe step away and think things through before deciding not to see him, you could be missing out on something amazing.

Good luck! I'm sure you will come to an outcome right for you.

What shifted your view even slightly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought woman turned on by men playing in mmf

Unsurprisingly there are lots of women who aren’t.

Not many though. I always seem to be the only one on those threads who doesn’t x

I think that the women, who like man on man action and post the Lounge and Swingers Chat, are a disproportionate sample of the general population

I do wonder if that is the case. There is only one person outside of Fab that knows I am bisexual. They are still working through what that means to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Turn it around, think about why he told you? It shows he trusts you surely.

Maybe step away and think things through before deciding not to see him, you could be missing out on something amazing.

Good luck! I'm sure you will come to an outcome right for you.

What shifted your view even slightly?"

You and gemini man and ace probably. You are all such lovely people and good friends it annoyed me that I thought like that and made me think differently if I’m honest x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here.

I agree. I would love to see at least more ability to at least take the perspective of others that have a different view or felt experience, even if they can’t feel emotional empathy.

I know a number of women who would think differently about me if I weren’t openly bisexual on here, even though I haven’t had any sexual contact with a man for 9 years."

It's how our minds work. Do people look at a feminine woman wearing a strap on and see them as masculine?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here.

I agree. I would love to see at least more ability to at least take the perspective of others that have a different view or felt experience, even if they can’t feel emotional empathy.

I know a number of women who would think differently about me if I weren’t openly bisexual on here, even though I haven’t had any sexual contact with a man for 9 years.

It's how our minds work. Do people look at a feminine woman wearing a strap on and see them as masculine? "

I don’t

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

"I should have asked, does it turn you off everyone, or just him?

I'm not sure - if someone is openly Bi and not hiding it then I guess I haven't given it much thought - but I never expected it from him.

I think you're right - I don't feel like I know him at all

You’ve actually worked it out yourself.

It’s difficult once you like someone but put off by their sexual indiscretions. I’m the same. Once I know who they’ve been with it puts me off too. It’s a weird one but listen to your instincts they’re there for a reason.

And this is why the majority of men put straight on their profile I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here.

I agree. I would love to see at least more ability to at least take the perspective of others that have a different view or felt experience, even if they can’t feel emotional empathy.

I know a number of women who would think differently about me if I weren’t openly bisexual on here, even though I haven’t had any sexual contact with a man for 9 years.

It's how our minds work. Do people look at a feminine woman wearing a strap on and see them as masculine?

I don’t "

However I do like the Yin/Yang interplay that it implies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Turn it around, think about why he told you? It shows he trusts you surely.

Maybe step away and think things through before deciding not to see him, you could be missing out on something amazing.

Good luck! I'm sure you will come to an outcome right for you.

I think that's a lot to do with what others would think of us if they knew we liked seeing two men together.

It's perfectly acceptable for men to declare that love watching lesbians, but I've never heard a woman, outside of Fab, say they love watching two men together.

I certainly wouldn't have that conversation with many of my family or friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here.

I agree. I would love to see at least more ability to at least take the perspective of others that have a different view or felt experience, even if they can’t feel emotional empathy.

I know a number of women who would think differently about me if I weren’t openly bisexual on here, even though I haven’t had any sexual contact with a man for 9 years.

It's how our minds work. Do people look at a feminine woman wearing a strap on and see them as masculine?

I don’t "

I don't think many people do, yet they automatically feminise bi men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always wonder why people have such an attitude about this, if you are ok with bi people then why is is a problem for a man to meet a trans person. Trans females, transvestites identify as female or have a female personality. Is it anal sex that puts you off? That would be hypocritical, gay, bi and straight people all indulge int he same sex acts and kinks. Why is male anal sex any different to female anal sex?

Yes, I have been with TV's and have one as a best friend!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here.

I agree. I would love to see at least more ability to at least take the perspective of others that have a different view or felt experience, even if they can’t feel emotional empathy.

I know a number of women who would think differently about me if I weren’t openly bisexual on here, even though I haven’t had any sexual contact with a man for 9 years.

It's how our minds work. Do people look at a feminine woman wearing a strap on and see them as masculine?

I don’t

I don't think many people do, yet they automatically feminise bi men."

I haven’t met or spoke to a man who doesn’t find 2 women together a turn on and I’ve spoken to hundreds on here over the past year or so. I think that’s true what you say though. I like very masculine men and very feminine women. I don’t like feminine men and and I don’t like masculine women. But I don’t think all bi men are feminine to be fair. Men wearing women’s undies is an absolute no no for me and that won’t ever change though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Turn it around, think about why he told you? It shows he trusts you surely.

Maybe step away and think things through before deciding not to see him, you could be missing out on something amazing.

Good luck! I'm sure you will come to an outcome right for you.

I think that's a lot to do with what others would think of us if they knew we liked seeing two men together.

It's perfectly acceptable for men to declare that love watching lesbians, but I've never heard a woman, outside of Fab, say they love watching two men together.

I certainly wouldn't have that conversation with many of my family or friends."

I think herein lies the dilemma for men. Man on man sexuality is still far from as culturally acceptable as woman on woman has become for men. However Im not sure how far we have really come on the cultural acceptability of woman on woman sex. It’s about 30:years since the public outrage about Nicola Stephenson and Anna Friel kissing on Brookside.

I don’t have conversations with my friends or family with one exception outside of Fab about same sex intimacy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always wonder why people have such an attitude about this, if you are ok with bi people then why is is a problem for a man to meet a trans person. Trans females, transvestites identify as female or have a female personality. Is it anal sex that puts you off? That would be hypocritical, gay, bi and straight people all indulge int he same sex acts and kinks. Why is male anal sex any different to female anal sex?

Yes, I have been with TV's and have one as a best friend!"

See, with respect. These are the comments that annoy me. Just because it’s not my thing why does that mean I have an “attitude” about it? I don’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But fuck it - I'm going to say it anyway.

To cut a long story short- there is someone I like.

And he has just admitted to me that he wants to meet a TV.

And it's put me off him

I'm confused by my reaction and a bit ashamed of myself as I'm Bi and wouldn't in a million years describe myself as a homophobe

He also admitted to engaging in sexual acts with other men from couples meets.

It turns me off.

I'd like to understand these feelings and know if anyone else feels the same way?

I admire your honesty OP. I've not read the thread, just your initial post. I'm not in the mood for an argument and I can see that P from the EDeviants was the first person to reply. So wiser people than me must have put across better points. It also hurts a bit to read that others will feel the same way you do

I am what I am.. and fuck everyone who finds that offputting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without talking to him, it's a bit unfair to say he lied by saying straight on his profile. There are many reasons this maybe the case, For example if he is only interested in meeting women or couples but will play bi with a couple but not interested in meeting single males, he maybe identifies as being more straight than bi. It may simply be a case that he doesn't want single males getting in touch, or simply hasn't updated his profile since he tried it with a man.

You would be hard pressed to find any 100% straight man as it is not a binary switch of blue and pink but many subtle shades of purple and lilac.

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By *lorious hole bs16Man
over a year ago

Bristol

I think your confusion by the reaction you had will be shared by many...

Well done for making people think..

When i joined this site, i naively assumed it would be full of adult,liberated,sexual swingers .So it was a bit of a shock to discover a lot of 'confused middle aged straight men' exploring their sexuallity,almost adolescent like..Many fearful of meeting and lots of so called first timers, it is a minefield of intrique..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think your confusion by the reaction you had will be shared by many...

Well done for making people think..

That was actually less of a shock and quite comforting for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But fuck it - I'm going to say it anyway.

To cut a long story short- there is someone I like.

And he has just admitted to me that he wants to meet a TV.

And it's put me off him

I'm confused by my reaction and a bit ashamed of myself as I'm Bi and wouldn't in a million years describe myself as a homophobe

He also admitted to engaging in sexual acts with other men from couples meets.

It turns me off.

I'd like to understand these feelings and know if anyone else feels the same way?

I am what I am.. and fuck everyone who finds that offputting. "

That’s the correct attitude and that’s how everyone should feel regardless of what they like and don’t like. We are what we are. Life has been so much nicer since I stopped giving a fuck what strangers think about me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dare you ladies,,put a ts/tv profile up n see just how many "straight guys are on here,,very few if you ask me"

So very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here.

I agree. I would love to see at least more ability to at least take the perspective of others that have a different view or felt experience, even if they can’t feel emotional empathy.

I know a number of women who would think differently about me if I weren’t openly bisexual on here, even though I haven’t had any sexual contact with a man for 9 years.

It's how our minds work. Do people look at a feminine woman wearing a strap on and see them as masculine?

I don’t

I don't think many people do, yet they automatically feminise bi men.

My brain works differently to yours. I've dressed very masculine men in my underwear and heels and I see a masculine man in my clothes. He doesn't appear feminine to me. I also love to watch two masculine men have sex, but watching two women does nothing for me. Strange how our minds work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here.

I agree. I would love to see at least more ability to at least take the perspective of others that have a different view or felt experience, even if they can’t feel emotional empathy.

I know a number of women who would think differently about me if I weren’t openly bisexual on here, even though I haven’t had any sexual contact with a man for 9 years.

It's how our minds work. Do people look at a feminine woman wearing a strap on and see them as masculine?

I don’t

I don't think many people do, yet they automatically feminise bi men.

Definitely! And so many people seem to think all women think the same! Same as the same thing turns all women on. It really doesn’t.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"But fuck it - I'm going to say it anyway.

To cut a long story short- there is someone I like.

And he has just admitted to me that he wants to meet a TV.

And it's put me off him

I'm confused by my reaction and a bit ashamed of myself as I'm Bi and wouldn't in a million years describe myself as a homophobe

He also admitted to engaging in sexual acts with other men from couples meets.

It turns me off.

I'd like to understand these feelings and know if anyone else feels the same way?

I guess it's just how you are, for you it's bi men, for some it's black, white or Asian men. It's just a preference. Nothing you can do about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Turn it around, think about why he told you? It shows he trusts you surely.

Maybe step away and think things through before deciding not to see him, you could be missing out on something amazing.

Good luck! I'm sure you will come to an outcome right for you.

I think that's a lot to do with what others would think of us if they knew we liked seeing two men together.

It's perfectly acceptable for men to declare that love watching lesbians, but I've never heard a woman, outside of Fab, say they love watching two men together.

I certainly wouldn't have that conversation with many of my family or friends."

I have a couple of friends that are not part of the scene but love bi men like me. It’s a marmite thing. My ex was put off a bit because I had dabbled with women in past 3somes. It was a turn off for him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's perfectly acceptable for men to declare that love watching lesbians, but I've never heard a woman, outside of Fab, say they love watching two men together.

I certainly wouldn't have that conversation with many of my family or friends.

I don’t have conversations with my friends or family with one exception outside of Fab about same sex intimacy"

There are many conversations I don't have with people outside of this community.

I don't think it's just man on man sex that isnt accepted by the masses - it's anything that isn't vanilla and practiced by the percieved majority.

Yet behind closed doors people are doing all sorts of things as we are all well aware of

Most people I know wouldn't accept that I like to fuck multiple people and all sorts of things that would probably make their heads fall off

They would be less "shocked" and more accepting of men fucking other men as it is a part of life - we all have our own sexuality.

Even the most narrow minded amongst us can accept that.

But as someone said above what we accept and understand and what we want in our own sex lives and are attracted to are completely different things entirely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reaction is why so many men feel they have to hide their bi side.

It probably is.

Urgh it's all so horrible!

Why do I care who he's fucking?

We're not getting married FFS!

I just do

It is what it is..

take time to think and only you can decide if it's a deal breaker. It's your mind, your emotions. We don't control how we feel.

I wish I could lol

My feelings about almost everything are like a rollercoaster

Just have many people on this thread have pointed out - being straight on a profile on here means nothing.

I kind of knew that - but it's difficult to know what to do with that

Get over it or leave Fab?

This

. And yes you are brave voicing this. Especially on here! I mentioned i would only meet straight men and the abuse I got for it was unbelievable.

People rarely like it when they fall into a category that you don't fancy.

I'm fat not everyone fancies me but I don't care.

I don't tell people to get over themselves because of it.

This is why people don't post on the forum because of the gang mentality on here.

I agree. I would love to see at least more ability to at least take the perspective of others that have a different view or felt experience, even if they can’t feel emotional empathy.

I know a number of women who would think differently about me if I weren’t openly bisexual on here, even though I haven’t had any sexual contact with a man for 9 years.

It's how our minds work. Do people look at a feminine woman wearing a strap on and see them as masculine?

I don’t

I don't think many people do, yet they automatically feminise bi men.

That’s it, it is simply differences in how our minds work. The great things is we can change our minds, we drive the bus not our minds and that is why I am still hopeful for humans rather than overly pessimistic