FabSwingers.com forum: Things our parents said

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'll knock you into the middle of next week if you keep that up

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

If you keep crying I’ll give you something to cry about.

My parents never said that to me though

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Don't look at me with that tone of voice.

I'll take my hand off your jaw.

(Sarcastically miming a hand being removed from one's face while saying "like this?" Will get you a battering.)

Do as I say not as I do.

Get that off and get out in the sunshine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are children in Africa who would love to have that meal!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

C’mon then; away up the wooden hills ( upstairs to bed)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Beddiboes time ( bedtime - duh)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't come running to me if you fall off that wall and break both your legs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tea’s ready ( dinners ready)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what you are doing, I've got eyes in the back of my head

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

I’m gonna toe your arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dinner’s ready ( lunch is ready)

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I'll knock you into the middle of next week if you keep that up

Mine threatened me with the 21st century. 90s kid

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

We’ll see....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you keep crying I’ll give you something to cry about.

My parents never said that to me though

Mine did and would have added mard arse to it....

I was always the sensitive one of the pack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask your mum (my dad actually just said this to me before handing the phone to my mum)

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

put clean underwear and socks on before you play out incase you end up in hospital

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watch your lip son otherwise you will be stood on it.

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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

"put clean underwear and socks on before you play out incase you end up in hospital

just mine then...

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By *istress CockneyWoman
over a year ago

LONDON

You'll be laughing the other side of your face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Don't put that in your mouth...you don't know where it's been !'

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Working class people don’t have dance lessons.....

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

You don't want to do that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the wind changes your face will stick like that x

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Touch that and I’ll cut your hand off. True story

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you live in a barn x

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

My mum said it whenever is asked "why?"

Honestly, it took me over 20yrs & becoming a mum myself to figure it out!

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By *heLaserGuyMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Its black over bills mothers

Refering to the weather

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you wear a hat you'll go bald..

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By *sm81Couple
over a year ago

warwickshire

Its like blackpool illuminations in this house

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

"Its like blackpool illuminations in this house"

Mine said that too

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By *sm81Couple
over a year ago

warwickshire

"Its like blackpool illuminations in this house

Mine said that too"

Hubby says it now and i just laugh!

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"Its like blackpool illuminations in this house"

I say that

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Knock it off !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you sit too close to the tv, you'll get square eyes.

If you eat too much sugar, it will give you worms.

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By *layfulCouple86Couple
over a year ago

Lancashire

"Its like blackpool illuminations in this house

Mine said that too

Hubby says it now and i just laugh!"

Some people never grow out of leaving all the flipping lights on it seems, my wife included

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"put clean underwear and socks on before you play out incase you end up in hospital

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"If you keep crying I’ll give you something to cry about.

My parents never said that to me though

Mine did and would have added mard arse to it....

I was always the sensitive one of the pack "

Remember this one well

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"If you sit too close to the tv, you'll get square eyes.

If you eat too much sugar, it will give you worms.

The good old days...this is making me nostalgic.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"If you wear a hat you'll go bald..

Do you think theres some truth in that

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"put clean underwear and socks on before you play out incase you end up in hospital

Matching too I used to get told x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do as I say not do as I do

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"'Don't put that in your mouth...you don't know where it's been !'"

I said that to a small child last winter who decided to lick my coat!

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Act your age, not your shoe size!

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Fuck off you little cunt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would ye Wise up and catch yourself on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop pulling that face, if the wind changes direction you'll stay like that!

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Don't come running to me if you fall off that wall and break both your legs

Lol ah the classics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's like bloody Blackpool in here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone gonna geta hurt round ere

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Knock it off !"

That was B.A. Robertson

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt82hXYNr_4

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

When I was a lad all this was fields....

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Don’t jump on the furniture!

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By *hil_u_upMan
over a year ago

swansea

"Do you think money grows on trees?"

"If you don't stop that I'll give you a damn good hiding"

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Wait till your dad gets home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's blowey out......

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

If you go out without wrapping up you'll catch Pneumonia.

I know this to be untrue, cos I contracted it in the middle of Summer about 2 years ago and someone that lived in the same block of flats as me actually died from it

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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

Were you born in a barn....shut the door

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Were you born in a barn....shut the door"

this and the classic “it’s like Blackpool Illuminations in this house” ~ both of which I say to my kids...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"'Don't put that in your mouth...you don't know where it's been !'

I said that to a small child last winter who decided to lick my coat! "

Ah it was good advise back then...maybe not these days

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By *pertureTV/TS
over a year ago

New Ferry, wirral in stockings and sussies

were you born in a barn

were you made at Pilks (pilkingtons glass) when you stood in front of the telly.

Do you think I came up the mersey on a push bike.

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

Oi, put the wood in its hole...

my Dad requesting that I close the living room door to keep the heat in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are children in Africa who would love to have that meal!!

LJ"
id say everytime i saw an advert there guys are fatter than me so no suprise

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

Don't put your hands on the iron /cooker it is hot

. She still says it to me now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Street angel, house devil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are children in Africa who would love to have that meal!!

LJ"

A dinner lady once said this to me when I hadn't finished my lunch. My reply was "well you can send it to them". This got me sent to the Headmaster resulting in my having to write about not wasting food. To be fair, a better punishment than having to eat the lunch!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"were you born in a barn

were you made at Pilks (pilkingtons glass) when you stood in front of the telly.

Do you think I came up the mersey on a push bike. "

Were you born in a barn for me also. My reply would be I don't know was I? Then I'd get a clip around the war for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You make a better door than a window

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was younger “be at the lodge 10 minutes before the last bus, I’m not driving up there to get you”

As a teenager “stop kicking that punch bag!”

Now “I’m not even bothering, you don’t listen any way”

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When I was younger “be at the lodge 10 minutes before the last bus, I’m not driving up there to get you”

As a teenager “stop kicking that punch bag!”

Now “I’m not even bothering, you don’t listen any way”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fucking pack it in

Why cant you behave like your brothers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turn that down ( music tv and the electric guitar they bought me).

You make a terrible window, If we got in the way of the telly.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

"Turn that down ( music tv and the electric guitar they bought me).

You make a terrible window, If we got in the way of the telly. "

Mine used to say "you'd make a better door than a window"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put wood in th'ole (close the door).

How much?

Love you, son.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop playing with matches and do your homework

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum used to tell us that putting salt on your food makes it cooler..my poor sister up until a little while ago (when doughnut convinced her!) used to our so much on her food (she has autism). Thanks mum!

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Goodnight, God bless, love you

Every single night of my childhood and every time I stay at the mothership. My daddy is the sweetest thing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turn them bloody lights off it’s like Blackpool illuminations in here I’m not Rockefeller

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Fuck off you little cunt

"
Haha

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By *W_RedMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Stop putting lego in the VHS player you little shit, you're 21 now and should know better

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Mum " what time did you get in last night "

Me " around 9ish "

Mum " No you didnt "

Me " Then why ask "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mum " what time did you get in last night "

Me " around 9ish "

Mum " No you didnt "

Me " Then why ask "

Worst thing was when you’re really late and you think do I call (from a phone box obviously!) and risk waking them and being in trouble or are they pacing around anyway because I’m so late!

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Mum " what time did you get in last night "

Me " around 9ish "

Mum " No you didnt "

Me " Then why ask "

Worst thing was when you’re really late and you think do I call (from a phone box obviously!) and risk waking them and being in trouble or are they pacing around anyway because I’m so late! "
Haha been there many times

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I must have heard almost all of these as a kid, still use most of them myself.

The 1 I think I heard the most:

Because I said so!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Used to think my mum was James Brown growing up as all she used to scream at me was , "get down" ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum would say "you'll end up in Maggie Murphy's" which was apparently some kids home haha well I near died laughing when on Derry Girls last night, Maggie Murphy was mentioned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You'll feel my hand off your face in a minute" which I never really understood lol

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By *irenGuy70Man
over a year ago

Cirencester

"C’mon then; away up the wooden hills ( upstairs to bed)"

Mine was a variation on this; "C'mon then. Up the wooden hills to Bedfordshire"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’ll go blind if you don’t leave it alone

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By *irenGuy70Man
over a year ago

Cirencester

Don't put your coat on indoors, or you won't feel the benefit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't love and cry, just fuck and fly - my old man x

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"I know what you are doing, I've got eyes in the back of my head"

damn sure my mum did have!!!!!! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Used to think my mum was James Brown growing up as all she used to scream at me was , "get down" ......"

Haha love this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mum would say "you'll end up in Maggie Murphy's" which was apparently some kids home haha well I near died laughing when on Derry Girls last night, Maggie Murphy was mentioned

So many deadly one liners and hidden jokes one that show, pure class!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Got some giggles reading over a few of these.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Put your slippers on or you'll catch a cold!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

were you born in a field

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually heard a mother saying this to a child aged around 2

"Act your age"

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

I'll knock your teeth down your throat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Purple Aki will get ya if ya not careful"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

kids today don't know they're born

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

go out and play -your under my feet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll wipe that smile off your face

(I often wondered how)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You made your bed so go lie in it

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

I took my grandkids swimming yesterday in the river, kept telling the youngest don't go near the deep part please, after 17 times of saying it I ended up shouting * RIGHT IF YOU DROWN DONT COMING CRYING TO ME* ....this is how my grandkids will remember me......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont spend your dinner money on sweets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The sound the ice-cream van makes means, sorry kids I've got no ice-cream left!!

Apologies if it's been said further up.

And yes, I did the same to my kids!

Jo.Xx

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Eat your Vegetables It'll will put hairs on your chest

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Stop looking at our profile on fab!

Ew, gross

Not sure where THAT came from?

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By *rs Naughty PillowsWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

"Eat your Vegetables It'll will put hairs on your chest"

Ours was eat the crust off your bread it will give you curly hair or eat all your carrots and you’ll not need glasses, but my mums favourite line when we really annoyed her was “ I brought you into the world and I can take you out of it” and she still uses it to this day if we don’t listen lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll go blind.... i didn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Eat your Vegetables It'll will put hairs on your chest

your mum scares me as well

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By *ust chilled out meMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Dont sit so close to the TV youl go blind

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

The car won't start I've flooded it with to much ch.ke

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Do you want a clip, or grounded....a clip...right your grounded up to your room ha.

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By *rs Naughty PillowsWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

"Eat your Vegetables It'll will put hairs on your chest

your mum scares me as well

Her bark is worse than her bite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Eat your Vegetables It'll will put hairs on your chest

your mum scares me as well

Her bark is worse than her bite "

I can't take that risk- Im off to re - cement Hadrian's wall

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

'One of these days I'm going to box your ears'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watch your lip

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By *inkyandperky555Couple
over a year ago

swansea

Don’t pick dandelions you will wet the bed. Also you wait until your farther comes home.

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By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Ya grounded now get up them stairs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You weren't born in a barn.

And the answer to the question that was asked daily "what's for tea?"

"Shit wi' sugar on"

Stop pulling faces, the wind'll change and stay like that.

One I say to my own kids "I brought you into the world, I'll be the one to take you out of it"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chew your food

(I still ruminate on this)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NO !

Q,can i have some sweets. A,NO!

Q,can i have a new bike. A,NO!

Q,can i have a millennium falcon for Christmas. A,NO!

Q,can i go out to play. A,NO!

ETC.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

WHAT TIME DO YOU CALL THIS !!

Usually when creeping home in the early hours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

am I talking to the wall

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go and play out

Give me strength

You're a cheeky little sod (she still says that now to be fair)

Or when I knew I'd really pushed it too far 'STEPHEN !!!' - followed by that withering death stare only your Mam can muster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s like Blackpool illuminations in this house!

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Change the tv channel for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turn She-Raaa over. It's time for 15-1

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By *AABMan
over a year ago

Not far

'Get yourself a nice safe job'. As opposed to aspiring to follow dreams or take risks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hes not your real father"

(maybe just applicable in my native Yorkshire)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're like a fart in a colander {not knowing which hole to go out of}

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're like a fart in a colander {not knowing which hole to go out of}"
my old man said David grow up stupid. So I did I hate disappoint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No you cant lick the bloody bowl! flush the chain like the rest of us!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

turn that racket DOWN

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why are you wearing makeup

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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"Don't come running to me if you fall off that wall and break both your legs

Mine said that too

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"The sound the ice-cream van makes means, sorry kids I've got no ice-cream left!!

Apologies if it's been said further up.

And yes, I did the same to my kids!

Jo.Xx "

This reminds me of when the ice cream van came to ours and we would run in and say mum have you any empty ginger bottles? Never asked for money as she probably didn't have any

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get off those socks!"

Confused the hell out of me, until I shouted the same thing to my kids when they were outside with no shoes on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's for tea?

Mum replied ifits

If it's on your plate eat it,

And smoking will stunt your growth,

And after joining the army, don't have any loose women!!

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

"I'll tan your hide if you don't stop"

"don't answer back"

"mark my words, you'll achieve nothing"

And many more. All from my mother.

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

My mam use to always say

“As sure as god made little green apples”

This was her way of telling us “no shit”

Lex

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By *ldershyguyMan
over a year ago

Mansfield

Still say it

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

More from my mum... She had always felt the cold while I don't... And she cannot understand this.

"were you born in a barn?"

"shut that door my feet are like blocks of ice"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad would say

"Put the wood in the hole"

If we left a door open.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

If you don't stop misbehaving I'm locking you in your room and you can't go out to play.

(Most kids would think that's heaven now)

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

"Its like blackpool illuminations in this house"

That was said in ours also "you bloody goon"... "do you think I came in on the banana boat"

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

Where you born in a barn.... When leaving doors open

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

"NO !

Q,can i have some sweets. A,NO!

Q,can i have a new bike. A,NO!

Q,can i have a millennium falcon for Christmas. A,NO!

Q,can i go out to play. A,NO!

ETC."

My sister called our father... Daddy no no for same reasons..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who's she, the cat's mother?

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By *pertureTV/TS
over a year ago

New Ferry, wirral in stockings and sussies

"Eat your Vegetables It'll will put hairs on your chest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"C’mon then; away up the wooden hills ( upstairs to bed)"

I say this to my little lodgers now to

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By *thena123Woman
over a year ago

Swansea

Me as a child...mam what's for tea? My mothers reply...shit with sugar on...i always passed on that one....

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By *thena123Woman
over a year ago

Swansea

"Do you live in a barn x "

I say that to mine now, and they reply with... No in a hospital actually....

kids eh!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Purple Aki will get ya if ya not careful"

Mine said that regular

I met the cunt once, he was a weird fucker, as scary as i imagined.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(sulking) Your face will stop like that !

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By *cd and scruffCouple
over a year ago

Rochester

Who are you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I asked what’s for tea I got told shit with sugar on top

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Carry on & you’ Go to the homes (Care)

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I'm sure you were swapped at the hospital

Why aren't you a good boy and well behaved like your brother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I said get to bed no you cant watch Tj hooker

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By *typical guyMan
over a year ago

wigan

Where you been? - there and back to see how far it is

Where are you going? - To see a man about a dog

Why? - Because y's not a z

What's for tea? - A run round table/shit with sugar on

What did your last slave die of?

No you can't have a motorbike..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dad would always say "shut that door!" when I left a door open. I'd say "Who are you, Larry Grayson?"

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