FabSwingers.com forum: I am a woman, not a feminist.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?

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By *inn2000Woman
over a year ago

belfast

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?"

My view is that only a woman from a country such as Sweden would be in the position to make such a statement ....??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?"

I’d go with that statement too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?"

Are they mutually exclusive ?

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I like being a strong independent woman and respect that in others.

Not sure it makes me a feminist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?"

Why is she spot on? Are you saying the 2 are mutually exclusive?

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By *ngelina4uWoman
over a year ago

Camberley/Middleton

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?"

Yes why do YOU need to use labels like this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like being a strong independent woman and respect that in others.

Not sure it makes me a feminist.

Exactly this and no I don’t think it does.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?

My view is that only a woman from a country such as Sweden would be in the position to make such a statement ....??"
No, any woman could say it, not just from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like being a strong independent woman and respect that in others.

Not sure it makes me a feminist.

Exactly this and no I don’t think it does. "

OK so playing devils advocate... What is a feminist?

I done like labels but just interested in people's views.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?

Why is she spot on? Are you saying the 2 are mutually exclusive? "

Already asked that ^^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as she gets these dishes done she can call herself Gandhi as far as I am concerned

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By *inn2000Woman
over a year ago

belfast

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?

My view is that only a woman from a country such as Sweden would be in the position to make such a statement ....??No, any woman could say it, not just from there."

Not sure I agree with that? Does it depend on how women are perceived/treated in the country from which they originate?

For some women, feminism (with or without the label) could be a matter of survival.

I still believe that only a woman from a 1st world country who has knowingly or unknowingly benefited from all waves of feminism could be as dismissive about it.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I'm both.

Female and feminist I mean, not Swedish....

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

I’m a very proud feminist I firmly believe in equality, we might be made different but we are ultimately 100% equal

Most men I know believe in this too, feminism isn’t a dirty word and I’m eternally greatful fo all the feminist in this world as they have driven the rights of woman forward

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?

My view is that only a woman from a country such as Sweden would be in the position to make such a statement ....??"

yup.

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I like being a strong independent woman and respect that in others.

Not sure it makes me a feminist.

Exactly this and no I don’t think it does.

OK so playing devils advocate... What is a feminist?

I done like labels but just interested in people's views. "

Go for dictionary definition mate, 100 people will give you 100 different answers. (Also it's not really devil's advocate)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?

Are they mutually exclusive ?"
No, they are the same, some just feel to say they are it, you can still stand for equality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m a very proud feminist I firmly believe in equality, we might be made different but we are ultimately 100% equal

Most men I know believe in this too, feminism isn’t a dirty word and I’m eternally greatful fo all the feminist in this world as they have driven the rights of woman forward "

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?

My view is that only a woman from a country such as Sweden would be in the position to make such a statement ....??No, any woman could say it, not just from there.

Not sure I agree with that? Does it depend on how women are perceived/treated in the country from which they originate?

For some women, feminism (with or without the label) could be a matter of survival.

I still believe that only a woman from a 1st world country who has knowingly or unknowingly benefited from all waves of feminism could be as dismissive about it."
That is right, it depends where you are in the world too, in sweden it is the women that rule so to speak, totally opposite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Equality is good, feminism is not, just another extremist view

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What branch of feminism are we talking here? Liberal? Radical? Anarchist? Mainstream? There are a lot after all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What branch of feminism are we talking here? Liberal? Radical? Anarchist? Mainstream? There are a lot after all. "
Yes, there are many types, in this case the radical ones.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Equality is good, feminism is not, just another extremist view"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?

My view is that only a woman from a country such as Sweden would be in the position to make such a statement ....??"

This is so accurate...

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I’m all for equality but I still appreciate a helping hand with a door or a case when I need it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?

Are they mutually exclusive ?No, they are the same, some just feel to say they are it, you can still stand for equality."

Sorry Shag I'm confused, if they are the same that means all women are feminists which is not what your opening post says?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Equality is good, feminism is not, just another extremist view"

Feminism is equality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m all for equality but I still appreciate a helping hand with a door or a case when I need it. "

They are manners and most fellas would happily hold the door open for you, but I think chivalry might be a dying art tho unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do men feel so threatened by feminism ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?

Are they mutually exclusive ?No, they are the same, some just feel to say they are it, you can still stand for equality.

Sorry Shag I'm confused, if they are the same that means all women are feminists which is not what your opening post says?"
No, just some need to have a label more than others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m all for equality but I still appreciate a helping hand with a door or a case when I need it. "

That's just courtesy. If see anyone struggling with something physically I may lend a hand regardless of sex, race or creed. If my offer is rebuffed, as it sometimes is, that's fine, their choice..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What branch of feminism are we talking here? Liberal? Radical? Anarchist? Mainstream? There are a lot after all. Yes, there are many types, in this case the radical ones."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m all for equality but I still appreciate a helping hand with a door or a case when I need it.

That's just courtesy. If see anyone struggling with something physically I may lend a hand regardless of sex, race or creed. If my offer is rebuffed, as it sometimes is, that's fine, their choice.."

Exactly. Good manners, both the giving and receiving of, is not gender specific.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What branch of feminism are we talking here? Liberal? Radical? Anarchist? Mainstream? There are a lot after all. Yes, there are many types, in this case the radical ones.

Why is it that Radical Feminism is pounced upon in these discussions and used as the default? It's not the most widely held set of beliefs by any means, nowhere near, yet all other schools of thought are dismissed in favour of this extreme. "
I wonder the same, could be cos it is the extreme ones that takes way the meaning of true feminism of equality?

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By *Cocksucker84Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Feminism is a good thing at its most basic definition. You obviously get extreme sides to it and this is where the negativity around it starts. As a man I'll proudly say I'm a feminist. Rights aren't slices of pie. We don't lose our own piece by championing the rights of others. All political trains of thought have their bad apples but feminism had done a lot to advance the rights of women.

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By *Cocksucker84Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Has*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What branch of feminism are we talking here? Liberal? Radical? Anarchist? Mainstream? There are a lot after all. Yes, there are many types, in this case the radical ones.

Because that's what misogynists do its in their nature.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Feminism is a good thing at its most basic definition. You obviously get extreme sides to it and this is where the negativity around it starts. As a man I'll proudly say I'm a feminist. Rights aren't slices of pie. We don't lose our own piece by championing the rights of others. All political trains of thought have their bad apples but feminism had done a lot to advance the rights of women. "

I find it very frustrating when someone tries to discuss an issue that predominantly affects women and someone pops up to shout about how it's actually worse for men. There is room for all discussions! There really is no need to derail a topic because you resent the focus being elsewhere! As you say, equal rights aren't pieces of pie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?

Are they mutually exclusive ?No, they are the same, some just feel to say they are it, you can still stand for equality.

Sorry Shag I'm confused, if they are the same that means all women are feminists which is not what your opening post says?No, just some need to have a label more than others."

So why do you think identifying as a feminist is a bad thing? As that's the implication you're giving?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What branch of feminism are we talking here? Liberal? Radical? Anarchist? Mainstream? There are a lot after all. Yes, there are many types, in this case the radical ones.

Why is it that Radical Feminism is pounced upon in these discussions and used as the default? It's not the most widely held set of beliefs by any means, nowhere near, yet all other schools of thought are dismissed in favour of this extreme. I wonder the same, could be cos it is the extreme ones that takes way the meaning of true feminism of equality?"

Can you tell me what an extreme feminist is then Shag? And what a true feminist is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as she gets these dishes done she can call herself Gandhi as far as I am concerned"

Shouldn't

....but I did.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

"Why do men feel so threatened by feminism ? "

Various reasons, some men want women to be at home washing cooking and cleaning, some want to keep the workplace male dominated, some think women are less important be it rarely in uk but in other countries, old fashioned values that keep women as the under dog and fear of change.

Anyone that generally feels feminism is a bad thing will be thinking along these lines or similar or just not really understand it, feminism is what has got women out of the kitchen and into equally paid jobs, women into careers that was not open to them previously etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feminism is a new name for yada,yada,yada which is what a lot of women like to do anyway. it is the modern name for talk and had been done for centuries by them mostly behind closed doors (or using their menfolk as public mouthpieces). The men who have had to suffer this generation after generation are glad that this is finally being inflicted on the masses and recognized as a modern virulent disease. Hence this discussion on Fab.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We all need labels. Your friend is happy to label herself a woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Feminism is a new name for yada,yada,yada which is what a lot of women like to do anyway. it is the modern name for talk and had been done for centuries by them mostly behind closed doors (or using their menfolk as public mouthpieces). The men who have had to suffer this generation after generation are glad that this is finally being inflicted on the masses and recognized as a modern virulent disease. Hence this discussion on Fab. "

Oh you poor wee soul

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

Anyone can be a feminist regardless of gender, it’s just a person wanting women to have the same opportunities/rights/ pay as men.

Women can be a stay at home mum or a CEO ,it’s the being able to be either without judgement or inequality that is the core of feminism.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Feminism means different things in different countries, in sweden it is extremism, how is it here in the uk?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Feminism means different things in different countries, in sweden it is extremism, how is it here in the uk?"

It depends who you ask Shag.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We all need labels. Your friend is happy to label herself a woman."
That is right too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Feminism means different things in different countries, in sweden it is extremism, how is it here in the uk?

It depends who you ask Shag."
That is right, it does as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Feminism means different things in different countries, in sweden it is extremism, how is it here in the uk?"

And how does this swedish extremism form of feminism manifest itself on the rest of society?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most women would need to say they are feminist, we would already know they are a woman.

In truth most people are selfish humanists, a minority would put down another human of any gender unless it was a personal battle for their own position.

OP from a number of posts seems to have an issue with equal rights for women, as it is perceived as taking some rights from men. It is not, but may increase the competition by 50% or so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most women would need to say they are feminist, we would already know they are a woman.

In truth most people are selfish humanists, a minority would put down another human of any gender unless it was a personal battle for their own position.

OP from a number of posts seems to have an issue with equal rights for women, as it is perceived as taking some rights from men. It is not, but may increase the competition by 50% or so "

I know its a cliche, but “When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP from a number of posts seems to have an issue with equal rights for women, as it is perceived as taking some rights from men. It is not, but may increase the competition by 50% or so "

Very observant.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Most women would need to say they are feminist, we would already know they are a woman.

In truth most people are selfish humanists, a minority would put down another human of any gender unless it was a personal battle for their own position.

OP from a number of posts seems to have an issue with equal rights for women, as it is perceived as taking some rights from men. It is not, but may increase the competition by 50% or so "
No I dont. I am all for it, maibe you need to look at them again. I say we need equal rights in them.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Most women would need to say they are feminist, we would already know they are a woman.

In truth most people are selfish humanists, a minority would put down another human of any gender unless it was a personal battle for their own position.

OP from a number of posts seems to have an issue with equal rights for women, as it is perceived as taking some rights from men. It is not, but may increase the competition by 50% or so

I know its a cliche, but “When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.""

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feminism when used as a pejorative term by traditional mostly male commentators becomes a shorthand for radical separatist feminism which is one end of a very broad spectrum. Personally I believe in rational equality of the sexes and fairness of opportunity to all but I also recognise that some women like to relinquish control and vice versa which is what makes people endlessly fascinating. I guess the op is talking about the andrea dworkin/ spare rib kind of feminist who see masculinity as toxic which is a bit extreme but they do have a point some of the time.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I’m a very proud feminist I firmly believe in equality, we might be made different but we are ultimately 100% equal

Most men I know believe in this too, feminism isn’t a dirty word and I’m eternally greatful fo all the feminist in this world as they have driven the rights of woman forward "

Definitely..massive respect to those women that came before us and fought for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love feminists . The less women

that wear bras can only be a good thing in my book.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is still the right thing to hold a door open and allow the woman to enter a room first...

After all you never know what dangers a new room may hold

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I like being a strong independent woman and respect that in others.

Not sure it makes me a feminist.

Exactly this and no I don’t think it does.

OK so playing devils advocate... What is a feminist?

I done like labels but just interested in people's views. "

You'll go grey waiting. Each time I ask 'what is a feminist' ..... I get NO answer or plain stupid or ignorant answers.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Equality is good, feminism is not, just another extremist view"

feminism is not extreme

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Equality is good, feminism is not, just another extremist view

Feminism is equality. "

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I’m all for equality but I still appreciate a helping hand with a door or a case when I need it.

They are manners and most fellas would happily hold the door open for you, but I think chivalry might be a dying art tho unfortunately "

Most fellas ? Most women would hold a door open for someone that needed it. There is no need for chivalry ( what a outdated idea - should have died long ago ) just caring for humanity - helping other people.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"It is still the right thing to hold a door open and allow the woman to enter a room first...

After all you never know what dangers a new room may hold

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?

I’d go with that statement too

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

could you put three winks after that please..... just so that I know you are on a wind up.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

"why do some need a label more than others"

Largely because straight white males are seen as the default in the Western world, so if you're not in that group or are proposing ideas that aren't focused on that group, you need labels to describe what you're talking about.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Why do men feel so threatened by feminism ?

It really is so much more.So much more.

It hasn't just allowed women to work outside of the home, to feel fulfilled and useful to society. It hasn't just meant equal pay. One of the most important results of action so far is that women are no longer financially dependent on males. They no longer have to say YES to everything for fear of starvation, beatings - divorces on no grounds and being disinherited and having your children taken away ....... ffs.... it brought women out of servitude.

That's mainly what scares inept males. The ones so beaten by their bosses and life that they need someone to go home and beat , treat like a child or blame.

Equal pay my arse........ it gave my generation a voice and hope for the next.

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

"Equality is good, feminism is not, just another extremist view

Feminism is equality.

Precisely this.

There are some well considered views here by both sexes that understand ‘feminism’ and of course there’s the usual glib comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

could you put three winks after that please..... just so that I know you are on a wind up."
You have rumbled me!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I talked with my swedish friend about feminism and she said that. I thought she was spot on with that statement, why do some need a label more than others, hats your view?"

I’m a woman and a feminist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woman" is a label.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do men feel so threatened by feminism ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do men feel so threatened by feminism ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Woah hold on there.

My right to equal opertunities of employment is infringed when gender is a legally permissible factor to discriminate against me isnt it?

Not many people are against equal rights, but many people are against legally enforced discrimination which has been pushed by various groups.

And when it comes to government spending that absolutley is a zero sum game for one group to gain another must lose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not a feminist .... I am a proud egalitarian

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most women would need to say they are feminist, we would already know they are a woman.

In truth most people are selfish humanists, a minority would put down another human of any gender unless it was a personal battle for their own position.

OP from a number of posts seems to have an issue with equal rights for women, as it is perceived as taking some rights from men. It is not, but may increase the competition by 50% or so "

Except it doesn't. Stats who men and women when given free choice largely choose to operate in differnt spheres

as education/development in a nation improves women actually move away from STEM feilds to more humanity bases feilds as they have the freedom to work in something they enjoy rather than in something they have to to pay the bills. But this tends to be counter to many feminists ideals (who ususaly have also chosen to work and be educated in a humanties feild) so there ends up unequal competition to try and shoehorn the smaller number of women who do want to compete with men into positions.

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By *acktar74Man
over a year ago

leeds

"I am not a feminist .... I am a proud egalitarian

Id Still hold doors open for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not a feminist .... I am a proud egalitarian

Id Still hold doors open for you. "

I would like that and I would hold a door open for you to, it's nice manners. I teach my boys and girls to do it

xxx

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By *acktar74Man
over a year ago

leeds

"I am not a feminist .... I am a proud egalitarian

Id Still hold doors open for you.

I would like that and I would hold a door open for you to, it's nice manners. I teach my boys and girls to do it

xxx "

We would be stood at the door for ever as I insist after you.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Why do men feel so threatened by feminism ?

It really is so much more.So much more.

That's mainly what scares inept males. The ones so beaten by their bosses and life that they need someone to go home and beat , treat like a child or blame.

Equal pay my arse........ it gave my generation a voice and hope for the next. "

I wish I could say this no longer happens but it does. Through my line of work I still see women who are financially controlled by men. It's more common in poorer communities where women either don't work as childcare costs more than their wages would be or neither partner works and since the roll out of universal credit, all benefits are now paid into one bank account which sadly helps facilitate this kind of behaviour. It breaks my heart that in this day and age you still get women in positions where they have to agree to sex with their abusive partner in order to get access to money or food. The states cold hearted attitude to benefit claimants and long waits for benefit payments are what keeps many in these abusive situations as they can't afford 6 weeks or longer with no money.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Most women would need to say they are feminist, we would already know they are a woman.

In truth most people are selfish humanists, a minority would put down another human of any gender unless it was a personal battle for their own position.

OP from a number of posts seems to have an issue with equal rights for women, as it is perceived as taking some rights from men. It is not, but may increase the competition by 50% or so

Except it doesn't. Stats who men and women when given free choice largely choose to operate in differnt spheres

Totally missed the memo that as a woman I don't have to pay bills. How do I sign up for this?

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By *acktar74Man
over a year ago

leeds

"Most women would need to say they are feminist, we would already know they are a woman.

In truth most people are selfish humanists, a minority would put down another human of any gender unless it was a personal battle for their own position.

OP from a number of posts seems to have an issue with equal rights for women, as it is perceived as taking some rights from men. It is not, but may increase the competition by 50% or so

Except it doesn't. Stats who men and women when given free choice largely choose to operate in differnt spheres

Totally missed the memo that as a woman I don't have to pay bills. How do I sign up for this?"

Today I'm going to identify as a woman and pay no bills. Guess i lay be on next series of cant pay we take away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most women would need to say they are feminist, we would already know they are a woman.

In truth most people are selfish humanists, a minority would put down another human of any gender unless it was a personal battle for their own position.

OP from a number of posts seems to have an issue with equal rights for women, as it is perceived as taking some rights from men. It is not, but may increase the competition by 50% or so

Except it doesn't. Stats who men and women when given free choice largely choose to operate in differnt spheres

Totally missed the memo that as a woman I don't have to pay bills. How do I sign up for this?"

Men and women have different motivations for choosing what work they do? Really?

I'd also quite like to not pay bills.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s sexist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it’s sexist "

You think being a feminist, and wanting equality for all is sexist?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most women would need to say they are feminist, we would already know they are a woman.

In truth most people are selfish humanists, a minority would put down another human of any gender unless it was a personal battle for their own position.

OP from a number of posts seems to have an issue with equal rights for women, as it is perceived as taking some rights from men. It is not, but may increase the competition by 50% or so

Except it doesn't. Stats who men and women when given free choice largely choose to operate in differnt spheres

You nearly sounded convincing until you got to the bit where women work for enjoyment and not to make ends meet. Have another go.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Interesting points everyone

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