FabSwingers.com forum: How do you vet messages?

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Spin off from another thread.

When you get a first message, what criteria do you look for when deciding if you want to reply? (type of message, pictures, profile, etc)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Messages?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First look at their profile and see if they are lazy then look at their message if they have taken time to fill their profile out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do i fancy them.

Are they blatantly fake.

Thats about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Messages?

Wait there’s a way to receive messages here too? Who knew?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Distance first for me

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

I look at the avatar picture first then the profile pictures at this point if I see a cock picture I delete.

Then I read the profile then the message.

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By *ittleKinksCouple
over a year ago

Reading

We vet messages like this for single men.

1.Face picture first. Attractive?

2.Then body pic. In shape?

3.Then cock photo. Good size?

4.As long as the message is respectful and shows they have read our profile we will check them out

5. Then we check distance. Need to be localish

6. Then read Thier profile, we are looking for a personality that matches ours and some experience in the scene.

7. Then we check verifications.

8. Are they in the right age range?

If all of that checks out then we will reply, I'd say on average 1 in 50 guys meets all the requirements.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Always look at the profile

Do they have pics of both of them

Are we looking for the same ?

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Messages?

Wait there’s a way to receive messages here too? Who knew?

Wonders will never cease

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By *ittleKinksCouple
over a year ago

Reading

"I look at the avatar picture first then the profile pictures at this point if I see a cock picture I delete.

Then I read the profile then the message."

I can understand deleting if Thier only pic is a cock pic but when it's one amoung many we find it useful. Wife does enjoy a good bit of girth on her men and is disappointed when we swap and the guys come in under 6 inches and narrow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pleasant and honesty. Blunt ones get binned.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Very much depends on the message - if I can see from the first line (which is visible without opening the message) that it's not going to be of interest then I'll usually straight delete.

If it's from a known forumite then I'll usually open and respond without even looking at the profile.

If it's from someone I don't know but looks of interest, it varies whether I look at the profile or the message first

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"I look at the avatar picture first then the profile pictures at this point if I see a cock picture I delete.

Then I read the profile then the message.

We need a pencil dick emoji right now

It's just the way I do it.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I always look at the profile first.

I check for distance, pics hopefully a face one, availability, veris. If I like all that I message back and ask for a face pic if they have attached one and go from there.

Unless it's someone I'm chatting to anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Likewise... if it's obvious they haven't read my profile or are a silly distance I straight delete

Then look at the profile before I reply either with a message or a no thanks

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

Check their profile, text first then interests, if that looks appealing then pictures and distance, if it's not what I'm looking for then a polite reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think my experience on here so far is probably similar to a lot of women, most of the time I’m either ignoring, deleting or politely declining offers of other men

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By *ittleKinksCouple
over a year ago

Reading

"I look at the avatar picture first then the profile pictures at this point if I see a cock picture I delete.

Then I read the profile then the message.

We need a pencil dick emoji right now

It's just the way I do it.

I get that's the way you do it but what's the logic or reasoning behind it ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmm, depends if I'm due on or not. Mostly I leave the message replies to B, unless I'm due on and feel a little target practise will make me feel better.

However, if they're forum peepsies I'm more than happy to read and reply, in fact I rather enjoy it.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

(things with an X are deal breakers)

I read the message. Does it refer to me in a way that I can tell is me not anyone else? (X - most fall here)

Does the message fall foul of any of the deal breakers I state in my text? (X)

Does the message interest me? Does the sender try to appeal to me rather than just say why I appeal to them? (X)

Attached pictures, where applicable, do I like them?

Profile: too far away or smoker? (X)

Profile: does it show good judgement and a positive attitude, lack of bigotry as I define it? (X)

Pictures on profile: do I like them?

Verifications if applicable: any red flags of unsafe activity? (X)

Status/ forum activity: anything I find unsavoury?

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

... Forum messages are different and no real rules apply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a guy with a quiet inbox, I have the luxury of being able to reply to every message.

I will see how the correspondance goes as very few messages revolve around meeting or sex, more about my whitterings in the forum.

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By *ittleKinksCouple
over a year ago

Reading

Finding couples is even hard.

Basically most of our single male criteria applies for the male half as the wife it more picky. But we may be a bit more relaxed on the criteria.

And on top of that they need to be local so we can see them more than once and similar interests and personality is even more important as we would like to be friends socially too. As for the looks of the woman I tend to love variety so it's very rare (never happened yet) we turn a couple away based on the females looks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a chap I must say my inbox is usually quite empty ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tits, arse, fanny.... Check!

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Oooohhhh...I have a multi-step rule for this:

1) just a few words or, god help me, letters? Txt spk. Boring - ‘you are gorgeous and i was jst wondering whe...’ Delete.

2) first line looks kind of ok, avatar is a badly taken cock shot? Delete. First line looks good, avatar is a badly taken cock shot? Maybe delete

3) check out their profile in ninja mode - couple of lines, bad spelling or grammar, or any sort of ridiculous disclaimer? Delete. Don’t seem to have that confident, dominant edge I’m looking for from their text, veris or interests? Delete. 800 badly-lit cock shots from every conceivable angle? Delete.

4) If the first line, avatar and profile has piqued my interest, I’ll actually open the message. If it doesn’t grab me, then I’ll likely mark it as unread and then delete. There has to be something that makes me laugh and draws me in.

Christ. It’s a wonder I chat to as many people as I do with this butchery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always look at the profile first.

I check for distance, pics hopefully a face one, availability, veris. If I like all that I message back and ask for a face pic if they have attached one and go from there.

Unless it's someone I'm chatting to anyway

We don’t have face pics but if someone requests one they’re available

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South

"Spin off from another thread.

When you get a first message, what criteria do you look for when deciding if you want to reply? (type of message, pictures, profile, etc) "

In no particular order;

1 have they read our profile. They usually haven't.

2 have they included a face pic. They usually haven't.

3 can we read the message. We usually can't. Some messages appear to be written by 12 year olds.

4 what does their profile say. Usually bugger all.

5 is there a variety to their profile pics. I don't mean 72 pics of their cock from different angles.

6 are we looking for the same things. Often not.

7 is there anything at all remotely simpatico to what we're looking for. 99/100 big fat zero.

8 does the opening message go straight to sex talk or is it laid back and conversational.

Our block button gets hit quite a lot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Messages,?

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By *oney to the beeWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

It all depends on the message sent if its poor then I will just delete and move on. I like interesting people who can stimulate my mind as well as body and the first message usually tells you if someone can or can't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just ignore any messages where they don't say I'm pretty.

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By *ab_SparklesWoman
over a year ago

sparkle Surprised

How close they are to were i really live. Those around my age are blocked for the safety of no embarrassing moments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do not send because i know what happens most of the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It all depends really. If a cock is sent or any messages aimed straight at me (the wife) or "wanna fuck now" messages are deleted straight away.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Profile, distance, age, message. If I don't like the first 3 then no response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I spend as much time reading their message/profile as they have writing it.

Nothing to see.. delete

No effort from them.. none from me.

Copy and paste messages.delete

Mention something in my bio they like(not the photos)

Then I reply.. even if it's a no.. there is a decent conversion that's been struck up and I even take time to help those people on what may help them in future

Yes I totally understand that guys get frustrated writing out messages 100 times for it to just get deleted..But

1 out of that 100 personalized messages guys write may get a damn good result.

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By * Plus ECouple
over a year ago

The South

Not quoting specific messages obviously, but the "conversation" might go like this;

Caller 1

Hi, I really like your profile, you're hot. I'm staying in a hotel in xxxx today, do you fancy meeting up?

If you'd really looked at our profile you'd know the answer to the question.

Caller 1

How unbelievably rude!!!!! And blocked.

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By *attooedBBWWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Message filters

Have they read my profile? (Message will show it)

Profile write up - have they said anything other than “here for fun” *yawn*

Verifications - I always click through to the authors to to check who they’ve played with before

Photos - if it’s all cocks they’re usually bottom of the reply list for me

Message content - Have they said more than “hey Hun” or written and essay about how they want to do various things to me

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By *heffmMan
over a year ago

sheffield

don't send messages, then you don't have to waste time reading profiles

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

The opening line, then the profile, the veris and then I respond even if a no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they seem like total cunts I just ignore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not here to appease anyone if you dont like it f*ck off

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

Look at profile, pictures, veris, location before opening any message.

That’s if the message isn’t obviously a dud from the sneak peek

“ nice tits” “are you free now” “ I’m in a hotel”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Writing essays to strangers is weird in my opinion. A simple hello will suffice then it can go from there. Also women think it's ok to send random friend requests but clearly state to not send them to them

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By *ittleKinksCouple
over a year ago

Reading

"Writing essays to strangers is weird in my opinion. A simple hello will suffice then it can go from there. Also women think it's ok to send random friend requests but clearly state to not send them to them"

Hellos get deleted but short messages that show they have read our profile with an example of what we are after would get read.

Anything over about 5 lines and I figure it's likely a copy and paste

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Spin off from another thread.

When you get a first message, what criteria do you look for when deciding if you want to reply? (type of message, pictures, profile, etc) "

Content. Have they read my profile?

Dick pics. How many? What is the background like? Do any involve lynx cans or sky remotes?

Actual pics. (Autodelete if; serial killer non smile, blurry & tiny, obviously outdated, manky background, closeups with other players in action, cream pie, their room in mum and dad's house, bareback, grubby underwear, nothing but penises.

Their profile. If it matches with mine I'll reply, if it's generic text or "fill in later" or "just ask" or "I only bite if you ask me to"

or they're outwith my age range, or they complain about "creepy guys need to stop messaging me" or "women on this site are stuck up/ugly/bitches/crazy/too demanding/too fat/too skinny/sluts/bikes/slappers/whores/cunts" if they have any genuine Sydney Uni warnings or FB warnings as part of their message text or they have been here for more than a year but still haven't read the FAQs they get bumped.

Name. If they're called "pollokpumper" "fannysmasher" "cock4u" "10inchesofheaven" "pussymagnet" "fuckuhard" or any variation thereof,they get bumped.

If they've messaged before with same cutnpaste, bumped.

If they ask for saucy pics, are pushy, are crude, are oblivious to anything I might ask or suggest, yup, bumped.

Funnily enough having such strict criteria actually saves time for them and me.

You'd think they'd be grateful...

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Almost forgot...Snapchat faun faces get deleted

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By *iking.beardMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I don't know how do you vet a message?

(just me that thinks it's sounds like the start of a bad joke?)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty sure there are huge differences between how men and women react to messages;

Women; analyse the message word by word. Have they made an “effort”. Do they sound intelligent. Have they attached a cock pic. Have they attached a face pic . Have they praised me. Is it faint praise. Do they sound trustful. Right well let’s check his profile. Does it tick each and every one of my 48 do’s , dont’s , must haves, musnt haves. Is there a cock pic . Can he Accom. Is he tall. Does he like BBWs

Men; Right, she has messaged me . She’ll do. Chat for a while then suggest we fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How they respond to random banter then check profile out a bit

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By *ussD1Man
over a year ago

Gloucester

usually get forum messages, which is great. So I reply to them as it’s probably an off shoot of the forum chat.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I look at it as an application/ response to a classified advert of sorts. Your mileage may vary. Essay, no, but hello, definitely not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they attach a face pic I use that. If they don't, I look at the profile pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spin off from another thread.

When you get a first message, what criteria do you look for when deciding if you want to reply? (type of message, pictures, profile, etc) "

Photos

Profile

Location

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My vetting process is

1. Have I received a message?

Yes = answer

No = move to hot photos for a perv.

Simple as that, I do a lot of perving

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

"Pretty sure there are huge differences between how men and women react to messages;

Men; Right, she has messaged me . She’ll do. Chat for a while then suggest we fuck. "

Exactly!

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Blokes approach to messages :

1. Get up off floor after amazement that they got a message.

2. Check out her pics. Is she one of the 1% of women I wouldn't touch with a bargepole?

3. If not message back and assess the optimum moment to ask to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blokes approach to messages :

1. Get up off floor after amazement that they got a message.

2. Check out her pics. Is she one of the 1% of women I wouldn't touch with a bargepole?

3. If not message back and assess the optimum moment to ask to meet. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Criteria is that it’s articulate, just a one line message doesn’t get our attention, lazy messages with no effort = lazy people who won’t put in the effort

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I look at the message first and foremost - sometimes the shittest of profiles have lead to really enjoyable socials/meets. I don't expect people to jump through hoops etc but it's quickly obvious if we are compatible or not most of the time.

I then look at the profile and veris etc. Mainly nosiness.

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