FabSwingers.com forum: Can you get past the deal breakers?

By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

I’ve had two pleasant dates with a really nice bloke (not a fabber).

I’m trying really hard to look past the fact that he’s a Tory Brexiteer and occasional mansplainer and failing miserably (there’s other stuff too).

Who has been able to come to terms with the opposite and important beliefs of your partner?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone is an essentially kind person and you have some common ground then it's not impossible to agree to disagree on certain subjects. I'm not sure I could live with a partner with a different set of core values long-term though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha, it depends if you BOTH can....

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"I’ve had two pleasant dates with a really nice bloke (not a fabber).

I’m trying really hard to look past the fact that he’s a Tory Brexiteer and occasional mansplainer and failing miserably (there’s other stuff too).

Who has been able to come to terms with the opposite and important beliefs of your partner?"

I wonder if he's asking his mates the same question......

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"If someone is an essentially kind person and you have some common ground then it's not impossible to agree to disagree on certain subjects. I'm not sure I could live with a partner with a different set of core values long-term though. "

I agree, it's a question of whether you can reconcile and respect their views without it altering how you see them as a person.

I didn't see eye to eye with my ex partner on a number of matters but we respected each other enough to have empassioned debate then look past it.

You're never going to agree with or like everything about someone but it's a matter of what you can live with. For some, where the other squeezes the toothpaste is a deal breaker...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. If there's something that irritates me beyond an acceptable superficial level it won't happen. I think this is why before I met my husband my longest relationship was 2 weeks. I have a low tolerance level.

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By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

Interesting responses, thank you.

He actually doesn’t know much about me, he’s done most of the talking and not asked many questions so I think this one is a non starter.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

'Proper relationship' wise, no I don't think I could get over things like that, it would cause too much friction. A pretty fabber would be different though, but again I wouldn't be able to see them long term!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I think if you like someone enough you can. But there will come a time when they start getting on your tits, and then annoyance will just kick in.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Interesting responses, thank you.

He actually doesn’t know much about me, he’s done most of the talking and not asked many questions so I think this one is a non starter. "

It was when you described your two dates with him as just 'plesant'...

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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire

"I’ve had two pleasant dates with a really nice bloke (not a fabber).

I’m trying really hard to look past the fact that he’s a Tory Brexiteer and occasional mansplainer and failing miserably (there’s other stuff too).

Who has been able to come to terms with the opposite and important beliefs of your partner?"

If it is just sex, yes, I can get past it.

Anything else, not a chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have friends who encountered those exact same specific issues when they first met a few years back. They're now very happily married, so it can be done!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely if you can get past them they aren't actually deal breakers?

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By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"Surely if you can get past them they aren't actually deal breakers?"

Deal breakers here are black and white for me, ‘out there’ there’s a bit of give and take.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I’ve had two pleasant dates with a really nice bloke (not a fabber).

I’m trying really hard to look past the fact that he’s a Tory Brexiteer and occasional mansplainer and failing miserably (there’s other stuff too).

Who has been able to come to terms with the opposite and important beliefs of your partner?"

Hiya Topsy! On the flip side.... arent opposites supposed to attract? If you like him maybe give him a wee chance...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn't get past the fact that he worked in animal experimentation.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Unless it's a really serious issue, I quite like someone who doesn't always agree with me... Makes things more interesting and sometimes a little fiesty

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Ultimately only you can decide if it's a complete deal breaker Topsy - it's something I know I'd struggle with if someone's views were diametrically opposed to my own - that said it might depend to what extremes they went, and also if they were able to articulate the reason for their views beyond a populist social media version of why (which seems to be the domain of many of my pro-Brexit FB friends).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting responses, thank you.

He actually doesn’t know much about me, he’s done most of the talking and not asked many questions so I think this one is a non starter. "

If he's not bothered to find out anything about you that would be more of a worry than anything else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on what they are, the circumstances surrounding them and whether I REALLY liked the person or not.

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