FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Binary options

Jump to newest
 

By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

I'm curious, why so often are posts and thought processes always based around binary options?

If you're thin then you must be miserable. Fat? Then you must be jolly. Happy or sad, good or bad... The list goes on and on.

Surely we recognise the diversity and complexities within ourselves as a person, so why do we not allow others those complexities too?

I had hoped that by now we'd grown past seeing others as just one thing or another but time and again we seem to find ourselves back at square one again. Why is that?

What is it about pigeon holes that we enjoy so much and simplifying people and their choices down to binary options?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are complex. I think some on here would prefer to pigeon hole others into smaller narrower fields and boxes to make it easier for them to choose prospective bed buddies. I find, in my opinion, the more I know about a person the easier it becomes to decide if we have chemistry or not.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

Because there is stupid and not stupid.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Sometimes it's because it's hard to go through the complexities.

Sometimes it's a badly formed trap. All the (not me) are horrible and all the (like me) are wonderful, form an orderly queue, I'll get to you all eventually!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The Black-Scholes model would account for the optionality better. But it would also be very boring.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stereotypes and past experience often cloud a person's judgement or ability to see the bigger picture.

I'm sure more often than not it is actually about self assurance for the OP and the issues they feel are holding them back on here. In order to gain the positive response they want they also have to offer a negative option.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

Not everyone is as deep and capable as you are Op.

Sometimes I think it's just an easy option for a thread, people don't give too much thought to the limited binary, they just want a discussion. Sometimes people have a bias and see it as being one thing or the other because that's genuinely how they view it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Digital masks. Everybody has one. Some utilise them more or less. It's harder to maintain the mask with less binary choices. Threads offer an insight into the person and maybe even validation. Some just post for fun. The entire thing is a subjective enterprise. I just say I am what I am. An acquired taste to all. Hence I avoid the labels wherever possible. I think that's an answer of sorts

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

The posters of these threads I think are usually aware of the grey areas, but they want everyone to agree with one of their "choices" so will word the question to try and achieve that agreement. Eg "do you prefer big fat saggy boobs or nice little perky ones?" It's generally clear which option they want you to pick.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Stereotypes and past experience often cloud a person's judgement or ability to see the bigger picture.

I'm sure more often than not it is actually about self assurance for the OP and the issues they feel are holding them back on here. In order to gain the positive response they want they also have to offer a negative option. "

I probably agree with you about the self assurance aspect of it, however it's a very myopic way of observing the world and others, as the opposing view to their own (often the negative pejorative option) cuts off just as many options as it may potentially create.

Can we not just be 'people'?!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Digital masks. Everybody has one. Some utilise them more or less. It's harder to maintain the mask with less binary choices. Threads offer an insight into the person and maybe even validation. Some just post for fun. The entire thing is a subjective enterprise. I just say I am what I am. An acquired taste to all. Hence I avoid the labels wherever possible. I think that's an answer of sorts "

It's a very interesting answer at that!

Do you not find it rather divisive too? A digital mask is all very interesting however they always eventually slip, even with the best will.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Exactly, I crossdress so I must be an effeminate male. On the very few occasions I have admitted to being a Transvestite to friends, the look on their faces is wonderful as I must hide my other self very well. In fact I was in the Army, love motorcycles and rock climbing, a bit of Thai boxing (one reason I love Thailand) and enjoy being a bloke.

I try not to be shocked and supportive to others who have their own peccadilloes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The posters of these threads I think are usually aware of the grey areas, but they want everyone to agree with one of their "choices" so will word the question to try and achieve that agreement. Eg "do you prefer big fat saggy boobs or nice little perky ones?" It's generally clear which option they want you to pick. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Not everyone is as deep and capable as you are Op.

Sometimes I think it's just an easy option for a thread, people don't give too much thought to the limited binary, they just want a discussion. Sometimes people have a bias and see it as being one thing or the other because that's genuinely how they view it."

That's almost a compliment there, careful...

I agree with you about them not giving it much thought, perhaps that's an insight in itself...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Its often an attempt to compliment one group by insulting another.

It works a lot of the time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm curious, why so often are posts and thought processes always based around binary options?

If you're thin then you must be miserable. Fat? Then you must be jolly. Happy or sad, good or bad... The list goes on and on.

Surely we recognise the diversity and complexities within ourselves as a person, so why do we not allow others those complexities too?

I had hoped that by now we'd grown past seeing others as just one thing or another but time and again we seem to find ourselves back at square one again. Why is that?

What is it about pigeon holes that we enjoy so much and simplifying people and their choices down to binary options? "

Are they really so binary? Are the questions specific and therefore their answer is binary?

When people say "all women are crazy" and "all men are bastards", I'd think 99.9% of people don't literally mean that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Digital masks. Everybody has one. Some utilise them more or less. It's harder to maintain the mask with less binary choices. Threads offer an insight into the person and maybe even validation. Some just post for fun. The entire thing is a subjective enterprise. I just say I am what I am. An acquired taste to all. Hence I avoid the labels wherever possible. I think that's an answer of sorts

It's a very interesting answer at that!

Do you not find it rather divisive too? A digital mask is all very interesting however they always eventually slip, even with the best will. "

I do indeed. Sites like these encourage us in the process of putting our 'best foot forward' approach to attracting the attentions of those we desire. The masks we wear are dually a PR exercise and a self defence mechanism, in my opinion. Binary choices are one of the tools that people utilise to express themselves in a 'safer' way than coming out with an outright statement that offers insight behind the mask.

They absolutely slip. Whether they slip quickly, unlos after weeks, or they drop away naturally when you choose to allow them to do so, digital masks can be both a help and a hinderance to achieving your desired outcome on here.

To be clear I despise labels, been on the receiving end of a lot of negative ones on here and off. Binary choices tend to encourage those pigeon holes. My opinion. Not saying its true for everybody but its true in my view of this place.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I'm curious, why so often are posts and thought processes always based around binary options?

If you're thin then you must be miserable. Fat? Then you must be jolly. Happy or sad, good or bad... The list goes on and on.

Surely we recognise the diversity and complexities within ourselves as a person, so why do we not allow others those complexities too?

I had hoped that by now we'd grown past seeing others as just one thing or another but time and again we seem to find ourselves back at square one again. Why is that?

What is it about pigeon holes that we enjoy so much and simplifying people and their choices down to binary options?

Are they really so binary? Are the questions specific and therefore their answer is binary?

When people say "all women are crazy" and "all men are bastards", I'd think 99.9% of people don't literally mean that. "

Without getting into semantics and stating specifically what people mean then yes. Language is precise enough to make our points clear, if you don't mean 'all men' then don't say that.

In terms of the binary options then giving two options, is exactly that. Maybe not directly opposing points but definitely separated by a positive and a negative and what is more binary than good or bad?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

Perhaps a little bit of a heavy subject for a Sunday...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

I think you’re overthinking it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I think you’re overthinking it "

What sorcery is this? I might have been saying this to him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"Perhaps a little bit of a heavy subject for a Sunday... "

I like it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps a little bit of a heavy subject for a Sunday... "

Well it helped me out so appreciated my friend lol less hiding for me on serious topics

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"I think you’re overthinking it

What sorcery is this? I might have been saying this to him. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I think you’re overthinking it "

Overthinking? Me...?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..


"I think you’re overthinking it

Overthinking? Me...?

"

It’s ok TM you’re pretty so we’ll let you off

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm curious, why so often are posts and thought processes always based around binary options?

If you're thin then you must be miserable. Fat? Then you must be jolly. Happy or sad, good or bad... The list goes on and on.

Surely we recognise the diversity and complexities within ourselves as a person, so why do we not allow others those complexities too?

I had hoped that by now we'd grown past seeing others as just one thing or another but time and again we seem to find ourselves back at square one again. Why is that?

What is it about pigeon holes that we enjoy so much and simplifying people and their choices down to binary options?

Are they really so binary? Are the questions specific and therefore their answer is binary?

When people say "all women are crazy" and "all men are bastards", I'd think 99.9% of people don't literally mean that.

Without getting into semantics and stating specifically what people mean then yes. Language is precise enough to make our points clear, if you don't mean 'all men' then don't say that.

In terms of the binary options then giving two options, is exactly that. Maybe not directly opposing points but definitely separated by a positive and a negative and what is more binary than good or bad? "

Maybe it's laziness. I often say "people" when I mean "the group of people I'm thinking of specifically on this subject".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"I think you’re overthinking it

Overthinking? Me...?

It’s ok TM you’re pretty so we’ll let you off "

Do you see this Meli, I'm pretty!

I demand a better veri in light of this new information

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/04/19 16:41:48]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The options are in the mind and responses of the ppl reading and replying. That's the beauty of forums, when they're workithat is. I always like to think there are endless choices to any question....

.....sometimes fuckers just need to think a bit deeper and suppress the neanderthal

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The options are in the mind and responses of the ppl reading and replying. That's the beauty of forums, when they're workithat is. I always like to think there are endless choices to any question....

.....sometimes fuckers just need to think a bit deeper and suppress the neanderthal "

Suppressing Neanderthals? Great band name lol but have to agree wholeheartedly my friend

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The options are in the mind and responses of the ppl reading and replying. That's the beauty of forums, when they're workithat is. I always like to think there are endless choices to any question....

.....sometimes fuckers just need to think a bit deeper and suppress the neanderthal

Suppressing Neanderthals? Great band name lol but have to agree wholeheartedly my friend "

It's true, I'm not saying I always manage to, we're animals after all, but options are always endless imho, even if someone asks you a yes/no you don't have to answer the way they've asked....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The options are in the mind and responses of the ppl reading and replying. That's the beauty of forums, when they're workithat is. I always like to think there are endless choices to any question....

.....sometimes fuckers just need to think a bit deeper and suppress the neanderthal

Suppressing Neanderthals? Great band name lol but have to agree wholeheartedly my friend

It's true, I'm not saying I always manage to, we're animals after all, but options are always endless imho, even if someone asks you a yes/no you don't have to answer the way they've asked.... "

And that's a great example of breaking from them binary questions and developing a more qualitative response to a closed question. Option A or Option B is not taken by you, you opt for Option Xperia by which you give a more open ended reasoning for your choices. Thus breaking the binary aspect of the question. Its informative about people in general but not indicative of the whole of Fab. Every person is different

Think I have talked waaaaay too much today lol back under my rock I go

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because there is stupid and not stupid. "

I see what you did there

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The options are in the mind and responses of the ppl reading and replying. That's the beauty of forums, when they're workithat is. I always like to think there are endless choices to any question....

.....sometimes fuckers just need to think a bit deeper and suppress the neanderthal

Suppressing Neanderthals? Great band name lol but have to agree wholeheartedly my friend

It's true, I'm not saying I always manage to, we're animals after all, but options are always endless imho, even if someone asks you a yes/no you don't have to answer the way they've asked....

And that's a great example of breaking from them binary questions and developing a more qualitative response to a closed question. Option A or Option B is not taken by you, you opt for Option Xperia by which you give a more open ended reasoning for your choices. Thus breaking the binary aspect of the question. Its informative about people in general but not indicative of the whole of Fab. Every person is different

Think I have talked waaaaay too much today lol back under my rock I go "

Hahaha, awwww mate I love you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The options are in the mind and responses of the ppl reading and replying. That's the beauty of forums, when they're workithat is. I always like to think there are endless choices to any question....

.....sometimes fuckers just need to think a bit deeper and suppress the neanderthal

Suppressing Neanderthals? Great band name lol but have to agree wholeheartedly my friend

It's true, I'm not saying I always manage to, we're animals after all, but options are always endless imho, even if someone asks you a yes/no you don't have to answer the way they've asked....

And that's a great example of breaking from them binary questions and developing a more qualitative response to a closed question. Option A or Option B is not taken by you, you opt for Option Xperia by which you give a more open ended reasoning for your choices. Thus breaking the binary aspect of the question. Its informative about people in general but not indicative of the whole of Fab. Every person is different

Think I have talked waaaaay too much today lol back under my rock I go

Hahaha, awwww mate I love you "

That's a binary choice, love or not; can you explain your extent of your love for me in a non binary, qualitative way with specific examples?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The options are in the mind and responses of the ppl reading and replying. That's the beauty of forums, when they're workithat is. I always like to think there are endless choices to any question....

.....sometimes fuckers just need to think a bit deeper and suppress the neanderthal

Suppressing Neanderthals? Great band name lol but have to agree wholeheartedly my friend

It's true, I'm not saying I always manage to, we're animals after all, but options are always endless imho, even if someone asks you a yes/no you don't have to answer the way they've asked....

And that's a great example of breaking from them binary questions and developing a more qualitative response to a closed question. Option A or Option B is not taken by you, you opt for Option Xperia by which you give a more open ended reasoning for your choices. Thus breaking the binary aspect of the question. Its informative about people in general but not indicative of the whole of Fab. Every person is different

Think I have talked waaaaay too much today lol back under my rock I go

Hahaha, awwww mate I love you

That's a binary choice, love or not; can you explain your extent of your love for me in a non binary, qualitative way with specific examples?

"

I can tell you I think you're alright, you don't publicise your intelligence like other forumites, and you have a good heart, is that acceptable?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The options are in the mind and responses of the ppl reading and replying. That's the beauty of forums, when they're workithat is. I always like to think there are endless choices to any question....

.....sometimes fuckers just need to think a bit deeper and suppress the neanderthal

Suppressing Neanderthals? Great band name lol but have to agree wholeheartedly my friend

It's true, I'm not saying I always manage to, we're animals after all, but options are always endless imho, even if someone asks you a yes/no you don't have to answer the way they've asked....

And that's a great example of breaking from them binary questions and developing a more qualitative response to a closed question. Option A or Option B is not taken by you, you opt for Option Xperia by which you give a more open ended reasoning for your choices. Thus breaking the binary aspect of the question. Its informative about people in general but not indicative of the whole of Fab. Every person is different

Think I have talked waaaaay too much today lol back under my rock I go

Hahaha, awwww mate I love you

That's a binary choice, love or not; can you explain your extent of your love for me in a non binary, qualitative way with specific examples?

I can tell you I think you're alright, you don't publicise your intelligence like other forumites, and you have a good heart, is that acceptable? "

Completely and appreciated you know me my friend, more than most I'm just doing my thing but I did promise I would come back different

Anyway let's not hijack this thread with our love in btw you are an awesome guy and genuinely one of the reasons I'm still here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On here it's often the OP of such a thread think that they are one thing. They offer an alternative which they often present in a less attractive way in order to get the "audience" to pick them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On here it's often the OP of such a thread think that they are one thing. They offer an alternative which they often present in a less attractive way in order to get the "audience" to pick them. "

Absolutely, presentation and authenticity, and often back up from "friends" to heard the sheep....

(I sound so cynical lolololol)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"

That's a binary choice, love or not; can you explain your extent of your love for me in a non binary, qualitative way with specific examples?

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ea monkey OP   Man
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)


"On here it's often the OP of such a thread think that they are one thing. They offer an alternative which they often present in a less attractive way in order to get the "audience" to pick them.

Absolutely, presentation and authenticity, and often back up from "friends" to heard the sheep....

(I sound so cynical lolololol) "

I agree, often though (as I said ^^) the negative or pejorative side of the question cuts out far more of their potential 'audience' than they assume or care to consider.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

That's a binary choice, love or not; can you explain your extent of your love for me in a non binary, qualitative way with specific examples?

"

Knew you'd like that dude

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On here it's often the OP of such a thread think that they are one thing. They offer an alternative which they often present in a less attractive way in order to get the "audience" to pick them.

Absolutely, presentation and authenticity, and often back up from "friends" to heard the sheep....

(I sound so cynical lolololol)

I agree, often though (as I said ^^) the negative or pejorative side of the question cuts out far more of their potential 'audience' than they assume or care to consider. "

Sorry buddy, just back from holiday, so playing catch up...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top