FabSwingers.com forum: Last loaf of bread

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So let's suppose it's few months from now.

The shops are running out.. People are panic buying

Your partner asks you to go try get some bread.

In the shop..

Is one loaf left as you put your hand on it....

A large guy says "that's my bread!" and also grabs the loaf.

Both your hands are on it.. One either end

What do you do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flash my tits at him, thus causing distraction enough to grab the bread myself and run.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lick it to claim it then kick him at 45 degree angle to his shin. I like bread

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By *agenta400Woman
over a year ago

All over the shop

"So let's suppose it's few months from now.

The shops are running out.. People are panic buying

Your partner asks you to go try get some bread.

In the shop..

Is one loaf left as you put your hand on it....

A large guy says "that's my bread!" and also grabs the loaf.

Both your hands are on it.. One either end

What do you do?

Knee him in the nuts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't buy bread. I will survive.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

"Lick it to claim it then kick him at 45 degree angle to his shin. I like bread

I like your style, used to lick the mars bar I’d chill in the fridge to stop siblings eating it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lick it to claim it then kick him at 45 degree angle to his shin. I like bread

I like your style, used to lick the mars bar I’d chill in the fridge to stop siblings eating it"

It's the truly essential way of claiming anything

the kick just reinforces that rule in that situation above! I'm not advocating the kick on siblings like lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't buy bread. I will survive."

OK. Apples then..

Or you more if a plum type or girl

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

"Lick it to claim it then kick him at 45 degree angle to his shin. I like bread

I like your style, used to lick the mars bar I’d chill in the fridge to stop siblings eating it

It's the truly essential way of claiming anything

the kick just reinforces that rule in that situation above! I'm not advocating the kick on siblings like lol

The lick technically doesn’t work for men if a woman does it I’ve found, lost many a mars bar finding this out in adulthood

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places

Depends on the type of loaf ...white, brown, seeded, granary etc.

I'd probably just buy a pack of rolls instead?

...and a bottle of gin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lick it to claim it then kick him at 45 degree angle to his shin. I like bread

I like your style, used to lick the mars bar I’d chill in the fridge to stop siblings eating it

It's the truly essential way of claiming anything

the kick just reinforces that rule in that situation above! I'm not advocating the kick on siblings like lol

The lick technically doesn’t work for men if a woman does it I’ve found, lost many a mars bar finding this out in adulthood

True there are many who dont respect the 'Licksy' rule

depending on how well you like them the 'Kicksy' rule is a quality rebuttal

if you like them then sharing is caring....I have heard anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't buy bread. I will survive.

OK. Apples then..

Or you more if a plum type or girl

Strawberries for me.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

"Lick it to claim it then kick him at 45 degree angle to his shin. I like bread

I like your style, used to lick the mars bar I’d chill in the fridge to stop siblings eating it

It's the truly essential way of claiming anything

the kick just reinforces that rule in that situation above! I'm not advocating the kick on siblings like lol

The lick technically doesn’t work for men if a woman does it I’ve found, lost many a mars bar finding this out in adulthood

True there are many who dont respect the 'Licksy' rule

depending on how well you like them the 'Kicksy' rule is a quality rebuttal

if you like them then sharing is caring....I have heard anyway

Right lick it and kick it ! Sorted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never run out of bread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd just make my own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd just make my own

That's some true out of the box thinking! Whilst everyone is fighting over the premade stuff you're quietly sauntering to the home baking aisle for the wherewithall to provide yourself with a long term supply?! Lol nice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why wouldn't there be any bread? We make it here

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By *ot-AshMan
over a year ago

London

I always keep bread in the freezer for an emergency to avoid having confrontations at the bakers!

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By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk

I'm single woman so it never happen

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

"I'd just make my own

Ok I’m coming to yours for my fix

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why wouldn't there be any bread? We make it here"

That the issue with loads of people about the brexit ballocks, they keep forgetting we make things and grown things in the uk , was there a shortage before we entered the EU , ?

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

I don’t eat bread so he can have it, for a price

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t eat bread so he can have it, for a price

What's the price?

lol genuine curiosity here

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Stafford

Let him have the bread. I can make my own at home. Flour is cheaper anyways.

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By *an_WoodMan
over a year ago

Stafford

Being prepared for Brexit armaggedon I will be packing a 9mm revolver on my weekly Asda shop. Just saying.

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

"I don’t eat bread so he can have it, for a price

What's the price?

lol genuine curiosity here

I’m always up for a bit of bargaining

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t eat bread so he can have it, for a price

What's the price?

lol genuine curiosity here

I’m always up for a bit of bargaining

Nothing wrong with a good....haggle lol

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I don’t eat bread, you can all have my share

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So let's suppose it's few months from now.

The shops are running out.. People are panic buying

Your partner asks you to go try get some bread.

In the shop..

Is one loaf left as you put your hand on it....

A large guy says "that's my bread!" and also grabs the loaf.

Both your hands are on it.. One either end

What do you do?

Just go buy some flour and mske fresh bread?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

be like jesus.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"be like jesus."

Throw a few fishes in for good measure

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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Split it in two. He probably needs it as much as I do.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

There are way too many people who swerve the actual question with a smart-arse comment.

So, lets re-phrase it.

Lets now say the bread is actually vital medication for a sick relative.

Society has crumbled, its survival of the fittest...dog eat dog out there.

You have hunted high and low, time is critical, and you are sure this is the last bottle you will find for a while.

Now, what do you do? If it helps, if you think you are unequal to the physical task, you are armed.

Me... I'd drop him, without hesitation.

No negotiation, no initial "to-and-fro" tug of war, just a brutal take-down that leaves him flat out on the floor.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Split it in two. He probably needs it as much as I do. "

Do you think he would be happy with half a loaf, when he can probably take the whole thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t eat bread so he can have it, for a price

What's the price?

lol genuine curiosity here

I’m always up for a bit of bargaining

Nothing wrong with a good....haggle lol

£1 for a large sliced loaf ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So let's suppose it's few months from now.

The shops are running out.. People are panic buying

Your partner asks you to go try get some bread.

In the shop..

Is one loaf left as you put your hand on it....

A large guy says "that's my bread!" and also grabs the loaf.

Both your hands are on it.. One either end

What do you do?

Just go buy some flour and mske fresh bread?"

It takes far too long, at least 5 hours. Much quicker to tickle him under the armpits and make a run with the loaf.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"So let's suppose it's few months from now.

The shops are running out.. People are panic buying

Your partner asks you to go try get some bread.

In the shop..

Is one loaf left as you put your hand on it....

A large guy says "that's my bread!" and also grabs the loaf.

Both your hands are on it.. One either end

What do you do?

A loaf of bread is hardly "life and death", so I'd try to take it, but if he wants it bad enough to fight for it, I'd let him have it.

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london

Stock up on flour and yeast and bake your own, simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are way too many people who swerve the actual question with a smart-arse comment.

So, lets re-phrase it.

Lets now say the bread is actually vital medication for a sick relative.

Society has crumbled, its survival of the fittest...dog eat dog out there.

You have hunted high and low, time is critical, and you are sure this is the last bottle you will find for a while.

Now, what do you do? If it helps, if you think you are unequal to the physical task, you are armed.

Me... I'd drop him, without hesitation.

No negotiation, no initial "to-and-fro" tug of war, just a brutal take-down that leaves him flat out on the floor."

Lick the bread and snap the shin with the following kick. The lick is confusing to him akin to a yell in kendo (ki-ken-tai-ichi) the kick the immobiliser. Big guy, weight suddenly hitting one leg is going to go down or at least stumble, that's the option for him to walk away afterwards. Keeps pressing the issue? Straight to throat, both his hands grasp throat, wander away with loaf to loved ones.

Or you know....something like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are way too many people who swerve the actual question with a smart-arse comment.

So, lets re-phrase it.

Lets now say the bread is actually vital medication for a sick relative.

Society has crumbled, its survival of the fittest...dog eat dog out there.

You have hunted high and low, time is critical, and you are sure this is the last bottle you will find for a while.

Now, what do you do? If it helps, if you think you are unequal to the physical task, you are armed.

Me... I'd drop him, without hesitation.

No negotiation, no initial "to-and-fro" tug of war, just a brutal take-down that leaves him flat out on the floor.

Or you know....something like that

Sorry it changed to medicine, same plan lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would rain down an unholy shitstorm of pain and ferocity that will make him wish he had a gluten intolerance ....

Unless he asked nicely, then I would happily let him have the loaf ... if it had been coffee then I would be far less reasonable!!

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I'd propose a sharing scenario where we split the loaf between us. Peace

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd propose a sharing scenario where we split the loaf between us. Peace

I quite agree

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By *electableDalliancesCouple
over a year ago

leeds

I’d hold out a tub of lurpak and propose a truce and a nice bit of toast.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

Jeez.... he's not going to be happy with half a loaf if he thinks he has a size/gender advantage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work in retail , I see this every Christmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make my own when I can be arsed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get to the shops early enough to not be faced with a fight for the last loaf of bread.

In reality I don't buy loaves of bread very often, so I would let him have it and use Ryvitas instead.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Seems lots of fab bakers on.. The fab bake off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So let's suppose it's few months from now.

The shops are running out.. People are panic buying

Your partner asks you to go try get some bread.

In the shop..

Is one loaf left as you put your hand on it....

A large guy says "that's my bread!" and also grabs the loaf.

Both your hands are on it.. One either end

What do you do?

I'd shout "Look over there!" in the hope turns round and then sucker punch him and leg it with the bread

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By *airytaleOfNewPorkMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham/Telford

"Lick it to claim it then kick him at 45 degree angle to his shin. I like bread

I like your style, used to lick the mars bar I’d chill in the fridge to stop siblings eating it"

My brother did this once with one of those large diary milk bars, so I dipped it in the dog bowl and put it back for him

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Anyone willing to fight over a loaf of bread needs to wobble their heads. Empty nutrition.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I'm a ninja type body guard he won't see me disappearing with it

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