FabSwingers.com forum: Women want to change the man in a relationship.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Whilst men want them to be the same, whats your view of that? I reckon it is true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have them trying to change me

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

I reckon any sweeping statement of what men and women do is a bit pointless.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

"I reckon any sweeping statement of what men and women do is a bit pointless. "

That is right.

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By *am4CamWoman
over a year ago

Fairy Land

"I reckon any sweeping statement of what men and women do is a bit pointless. "

Spot on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have them trying to change me"
Same here

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Well it would be nice to have the ability to sometimes I'm not going to lie. You know those few thing's he does that niggles you. I'm sure men are the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I changed loads in my last relationship spent years dumbing myself down trying to scruff myself up due to her insecurities

Im done playing that game im finally feeling myself again

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Tarka trail

A mate of mine got married years before I. When I told him that I was getting married he said. ! A woman will love you, and marry you, for who, and what you are. Then they will spend their life trying to change you into another person. !!! True

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"A mate of mine got married years before I. When I told him that I was getting married he said. ! A woman will love you, and marry you, for who, and what you are. Then they will spend their life trying to change you into another person. !!! True"

Question is did they succeed?

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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Whilst men want them to be the same, whats your view of that? I reckon it is true

It may be true for some, it may not be true for others.

Personally, I don’t see the point in trying to change what someone has taken years to become.

As for me, I am what I am. You can take me or leave me but I’m not changing for anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I changed loads in my last relationship spent years dumbing myself down trying to scruff myself up due to her insecurities

Im done playing that game im finally feeling myself again "

Be you x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Not true. People try to change each other. Its human nature and why a long term relationship takes compromise. Nobody gives unconditional love except pets. We even moderate and alter our kids behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly humans like to engage in the Pygmalion project - it works both ways

Really we need to allow each other to march to the beat of our different drummers.

https://youtu.be/RKHW0Mh4qvQ

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Well it would be nice to have the ability to sometimes I'm not going to lie. You know those few thing's he does that niggles you. I'm sure men are the same."

I agree. I think it's pointless trying to change the big things though. If you go into a relationship hoping to change an entire personality you don't love the person you love the idea of what you want them to be. I know that we're quite different people to who we were when we first met in many ways. A lot of that is due to our influence on each other but our core personalities remain the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I reckon any sweeping statement of what men and women do is a bit pointless. "

Yep

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

True in your case - not everyone's

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I changed loads in my last relationship spent years dumbing myself down trying to scruff myself up due to her insecurities

Im done playing that game im finally feeling myself again

Be you x"

Anyone who wants to be themselves and never change their behaviours shouldn't enter a long term relationship.

The simple act of having a steady partner requires changes in your everyday behaviour.

What partner - male or female - wants to be with someone who doesn't consider their needs at all ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Maybe his wife would have said a man will persuade you to love them and marry them by being considerate, smart, groomed and sexy. Then spend their life taking you for granted, being a slob and not bothering to be sexy while accusing you of trying to change them back into the person they married.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Whilst men want them to be the same, whats your view of that? I reckon it is true

Is it really true Shag ? Really ?

So the woman who loves going out every night , spending money on clothes, shoes make up and clubs, flirting and bagging off ...... should carry on doing JUST THAT after she's had a child with said man ?

Surely he'd expect her to be a decent mother to the children.

Is that where he moans that 'she's changed - she's dowdy - she's never got time for him and never dolls herself up for sex.

Maybe he should work harder and pay for someone he can breed and then a nanny for the kids and 'his woman' can stay a beautilicious sex mad fun loving cock whore.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

I think of it as improving not changing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have them trying to change me"
That is also good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe when I was younger, but now I don't care so much. If I like you I'll spend time with you, if I don't I won't. I have learnt that people are who they are and there are much worse things in life to contend with without complicating stuff.

Having said that, if someone wants to and is happy to change then it's a wonderful thing to support them and help them do it. I don't think it's fair to scupper anyone who wants to better themselves.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Women try to change a man to see how strong he is. It's always a test gents.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Women try to change a man to see how strong he is. It's always a test gents."

That's interesting. Do you genuinely believe that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men and women display this enhanced, manicured version of themselves and their partner falls in love. Gradually the facade slips and the partner spends the rest of the relationship seeking out a glimpse of that sparkly shiny person they thought they were investing their heart in.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Women try to change a man to see how strong he is. It's always a test gents."

ooooooo interesting ...... So .....

Is it a) He changes so he's strong or b) he doesn't change so he's strong?

Who passes the test ?

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By *anana-manXXXMan
over a year ago

London

"Women try to change a man to see how strong he is. It's always a test gents.

ooooooo interesting ...... So .....

Is it a) He changes so he's strong or b) he doesn't change so he's strong?

Who passes the test ?"

You will pass any test hottie x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Women try to change a man to see how strong he is. It's always a test gents.

ooooooo interesting ...... So .....

Is it a) He changes so he's strong or b) he doesn't change so he's strong?

Who passes the test ?

You will pass any test hottie x"

Is that the Scarlet Pimpernel ?

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By *anana-manXXXMan
over a year ago

London

"Women try to change a man to see how strong he is. It's always a test gents.

ooooooo interesting ...... So .....

Is it a) He changes so he's strong or b) he doesn't change so he's strong?

Who passes the test ?

You will pass any test hottie x

Is that the Scarlet Pimpernel ?"

Who?

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

Everyone changes to a degree when you are in a relationship because you have to think about someone else not just yourself, if they try to change you into something that your not that's a bit off hand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I changed loads in my last relationship spent years dumbing myself down trying to scruff myself up due to her insecurities

Im done playing that game im finally feeling myself again

Be you x

Anyone who wants to be themselves and never change their behaviours shouldn't enter a long term relationship.

The simple act of having a steady partner requires changes in your everyday behaviour.

What partner - male or female - wants to be with someone who doesn't consider their needs at all ? "
exactly why i did it but to the extreme happy wife easy life

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Interesting points everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I reckon any sweeping statement of what men and women do is a bit pointless. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men have wanted me to change in a relationship.

Don't wear make up.

Don't talk to other men.

Stop going out.

Don't cut your hair.

Dye your hair blonde.

Wear slutty clothes.

Don't wear slutty clothes.

Don't talk so much.

I've never expected or asked a man to change anything for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting points everyone

What's interesting about them?

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Whilst men want them to be the same, whats your view of that? I reckon it is true

It's the wrong woman if she wants to change you and vice versa.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

What a lot of interesting perspectives.

I think if we never modify our behaviour to suit the people we interact with (to whatever degree) then we’d be very lonely very quickly.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a lot of interesting perspectives.

I think if we never modify our behaviour to suit the people we interact with (to whatever degree) then we’d be very lonely very quickly.

V x "

I think we naturally meld into each other but I would not stop doing something, or expect a man to.

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By *onygirlieWoman
over a year ago

Leicestershire

People don't really change. Be with who you want to be with for who they are now, not for what you are hoping you can mould them to, as this is doomed to failure.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Interesting points everyone

What's interesting about them?"
The different views of what everyone thought of it.

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