FabSwingers.com forum: Bondage and BDSM

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Personally, I don’t think it’s on fab as much as it should be

or am I just looking in the wrong places on fab?

Also, favourite kinks and/or bondage styles?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there is a lot of BDSM interest on Fab but people don’t advertise it. There are a number of reasons; this is a swingers site and not a fetish lifestyle site, BDSM takes a level of trust and respect that takes time to build up, if they advertise it on here then there are a lot of people that do not know what they are doing but just want a kinky fuck.

I have found a good trawl through the forums a great way to meet like minded people.

My personal favourite kinks is bondage and orgasm control - lots of fun

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By *inkyman1964Man
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"Personally, I don’t think it’s on fab as much as it should be

or am I just looking in the wrong places on fab?

Also, favourite kinks and/or bondage styles?"

Lots are, look out for Fetish Events at Clubs and try more FETish LIFEstyle websites.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes that's very true it takes time to build up and most on here do want to give that time or effort for BDSM lifestyle

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By *ister KinkyMan
over a year ago

Sussex

"Personally, I don’t think it’s on fab as much as it should be

or am I just looking in the wrong places on fab?

Also, favourite kinks and/or bondage styles?"

Did someone say Bondage and BDSM

There are lots of us on here into it, but there are some who seem to want to kink shame as well. I’m completely open about being a fetishist and wanting a BDSM relationship with a swinging side.

Love all forms of bondage, from a simple pair of handcuffs to something heavy like a sleepsack.

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

There’s no real reason why it should be on fab more. This is a swingers website and that’s the aim and design, not fet.

You will find it and some people will be prepared to incorporate it, but a lot of people like to keep our fet lives and our swinging separate. It’s not necessarily about sex after all so a site primarily about sex is not the best one to be on if you’re networking fet.

Lex

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"Personally, I don’t think it’s on fab as much as it should be

or am I just looking in the wrong places on fab?

Also, favourite kinks and/or bondage styles?"

When I find a profile I'll fab it and hotlist it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've written my profile to make it clear that is what I enjoy and whilst I do still get messages from vanilla types, it has helped find more likeminded kinksters on here.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

You could always try using the "Advanced Search" feature and selecting SM from the Interests list OP - will still need some filtering to find the right people though.

As others have said there are those with an interest in BDSM here but as it's primarily a swinging site I think the balance is about right, especially when you consider some of the more extreme BDSM related activities that may not be to everyone's taste.

I'd personally love to see a separate BDSM/kink related forum added so like minded people could swap/share ideas, and those that wanted to avoid it could, but also understand why the site might not like the idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I appreciate that BDSM means many things to many people...for some a simple spank of the arse will suffice, for others..well lets just say its abit more extreme.

I agree with what others have said, there are lots of folks on here who are 'into' BDSM in some shape or form...but by having a separate area, will that not just get everyone flocking...even those who just want a quick shag but not realy have any want for any sort of BDSM related activity?

I generally ask what the other person enjoys/wants to try (regardless of BDSM or not) and then take it from there. At the end of the day its all about trust.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/04/19 14:12:40]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think there is a lot of BDSM interest on Fab but people don’t advertise it. There are a number of reasons; this is a swingers site and not a fetish lifestyle site, BDSM takes a level of trust and respect that takes time to build up, if they advertise it on here then there are a lot of people that do not know what they are doing but just want a kinky fuck

I have found a good trawl through the forums a great way to meet like minded people.

My personal favourite kinks is bondage and orgasm control - lots of fun

All good points! I was just curious to what the demographic for it on here was

. I too am into orgasm control ahha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Personally, I don’t think it’s on fab as much as it should be

or am I just looking in the wrong places on fab?

Also, favourite kinks and/or bondage styles?

Lots are, look out for Fetish Events at Clubs and try more FETish LIFEstyle websites."

I’m on there’s too ahaha just looking about I suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can anyone recommend a fetish/bdsm website similar to this thanks

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Can anyone recommend a fetish/bdsm website similar to this thanks

Not allowed to name here but if you read between the lines further up you should get it

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By *agenta400Woman
over a year ago

All over the shop

I have found a good trawl through the forums a great way to meet like minded people.

My personal favourite kinks is bondage and orgasm control - lots of fun

Thank you for mentioning the trust and time it takes to build this up in a BDSM relationship. It's a complex beast that requires a deep connection and work. Something most of the contact I've had do not understand and just want to fuck with a bit of kink. As a potential Domme (non-pro) my position is one of responsibility. I've yet to find my one true sub love to care for and to serve and care for me too. I live in hope.

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By *agenta400Woman
over a year ago

All over the shop

I've tried fetish/bdsm specific sites. Still the same level of misunderstanding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a fan of FetLife It's a very hard to use site. Having tried it it's not for me.

I don't really have any BDSM kinks wrriten on my profile mainly because I don't know where to begin and as a bi male I think it puts women off that I'm searching for that elusive Dom female.

I mean I like fuck as well without all the BDSM stuff. It's not like I expect to be sub all the time it can be exhausting. I like kinky and non kinky sex too without all the hasel.

Plus It might sound odd that I enjoy being forced to wear a nappy, dog collar and chain and treated like a slave lol

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By *agenta400Woman
over a year ago

All over the shop

"I'm not a fan of FetLife It's a very hard to use site. Having tried it it's not for me.

I don't really have any BDSM kinks wrriten on my profile mainly because I don't know where to begin and as a bi male I think it puts women off that I'm searching for that elusive Dom female.

I mean I like fuck as well without all the BDSM stuff. It's not like I expect to be sub all the time it can be exhausting. I like kinky and non kinky sex too without all the hasel.

Plus It might sound odd that I enjoy being forced to wear a nappy, dog collar and chain and treated like a slave lol"

CaptainSpankyPants. Lmfao.

Please get that printed on the arse side of a some sexy undercrackers. Something to aim for with a paddle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a fan of FetLife It's a very hard to use site. Having tried it it's not for me.

I don't really have any BDSM kinks wrriten on my profile mainly because I don't know where to begin and as a bi male I think it puts women off that I'm searching for that elusive Dom female.

I mean I like fuck as well without all the BDSM stuff. It's not like I expect to be sub all the time it can be exhausting. I like kinky and non kinky sex too without all the hasel.

Plus It might sound odd that I enjoy being forced to wear a nappy, dog collar and chain and treated like a slave lol

CaptainSpankyPants. Lmfao.

Please get that printed on the arse side of a some sexy undercrackers. Something to aim for with a paddle. "

I hadn't really thought of that but now your mentioned it I just might lol

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By *inkyman1964Man
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

"I'm not a fan of FetLife It's a very hard to use site. Having tried it it's not for me.

I don't really have any BDSM kinks wrriten on my profile mainly because I don't know where to begin and as a bi male I think it puts women off that I'm searching for that elusive Dom female.

I mean I like fuck as well without all the BDSM stuff. It's not like I expect to be sub all the time it can be exhausting. I like kinky and non kinky sex too without all the hasel.

Plus It might sound odd that I enjoy being forced to wear a nappy, dog collar and chain and treated like a slave lol"

Fet isn't that difficult to use, just different to Fab. Lots of useful information and contacts.

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"I'm not a fan of FetLife It's a very hard to use site. Having tried it it's not for me.

I don't really have any BDSM kinks wrriten on my profile mainly because I don't know where to begin and as a bi male I think it puts women off that I'm searching for that elusive Dom female.

I mean I like fuck as well without all the BDSM stuff. It's not like I expect to be sub all the time it can be exhausting. I like kinky and non kinky sex too without all the hasel.

Plus It might sound odd that I enjoy being forced to wear a nappy, dog collar and chain and treated like a slave lol

Fet isn't that difficult to use, just different to Fab. Lots of useful information and contacts."
treat it like it a kinky version of FB add friends of friends like events and pics you will soon get going

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By *atexpvcTV/TS
over a year ago

chester/Merseyside

Like a lot of people on here they tend to not divulged thier interests in BDSM play until you get chatting to them in private.

Ive been searching fir a Dominznt guy or more preferable a couple who is maybe just starting out znd seeking someone like to experiment on im totally submissive a d love hoods too

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

There are plenty of BDSM sites out there.

There are also plenty of people on here interested in that, I'm sure they aren't that hard to find.

However, there's no reason it "should" be more prevalent on here, the two worlds don't cross paths that much - a lot of BDSM people dislike the idea of non-monogamy and swinging has nothing to do with BDSM.

I think that it's probably as prevalent as it is in here because it's currently seen as being quite trendy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some BDSMers on here who also like to swing.

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By *indbodyplayerMan
over a year ago

Surrey /City/ Devon

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By *voryforebonyMan
over a year ago

boogie town

"Can anyone recommend a fetish/bdsm website similar to this thanks

Not allowed to name here but if you read between the lines further up you should get it

What..Samsung? Oh, that's too far up..I get it now, sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There’s no real reason why it should be on fab more. This is a swingers website and that’s the aim and design, not fet.

Lex"

first thing i though but then im no swinger either never was im just a cracking shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's plenty and a lot of if it is guys with no true understanding and experience trying it on as a way to get laid. There's a lot of naive ladies especially young ones advertising it in their profiles with little understanding of what's involved especially from a safety aspect with loads of master wannabies pretending they know about it. Its a potential train crash for some.

There's a thread started yesterday about this and how it's putting so many ladies off here because of all the crude messages many are getting from guys thinking they can force other to submit in various ways. That's nothing true about BDSM/Dom/Somme and sub relationships. Some just need to learn a lot more about it before jumping in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are plenty of BDSM sites out there.

There are also plenty of people on here interested in that, I'm sure they aren't that hard to find.

I think that it's probably as prevalent as it is in here because it's currently seen as being quite trendy."

What you've described there has a lot of truth. It also demonsrates that this isn't just a swing site as many would like to believe. It's a sex site with swings in it. I'd say most on here are not swingers.

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham

"There are some BDSMers on here who also like to swing.

"
yes there are but the two worlds really are poles apart.. I'm in both worlds.the people I meet are totally different in each scene There is a, great misunderstanding on here about the, dynamics that incorporate the bdsm world which is v v varied. Bdsm is not just about spanking or tying someone up. That is only a tiny fraction of the scene. Bdsm is definately not swinging. But some, swingers do like to cross over and indulge in a little bit of fetish fun. You don't get many that cross over the other way though. Its a very close knit scene. To understand it properly you need to join in the various clubs and events and learn all about it in the correct way. Any idiot can carry a, whip or a cane and not know which areas of the body should never be hit. Unless the subject is someone who likes to be abused and is an out and out masochist of course. Trust plays, a huge part in any bdsm relationship and that has, to be built up gradually. Rules, and standards have, to be established and set out from the very beginning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love it but its not something i would look for on here. I like bondage, vac beds, edging, pegging and being sub for the right person to start my list but i have to trust someone completely to do anything bdsm

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

There are some who cross over the two, I think of swinging and fet as a ven diagram; mostly separate, but some who occupy both circles.

If you look carefully and pay attention then you can and will spot them.

As others have said; there are quite a few people who like the 'idea' of fet but don't really know (that can also be said of swinging though!), caution and diligence is key, I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are some BDSMers on here who also like to swing.

yes there are but the two worlds really are poles apart.. I'm in both worlds.the people I meet are totally different in each scene There is a, great misunderstanding on here about the, dynamics that incorporate the bdsm world which is v v varied. Bdsm is not just about spanking or tying someone up. That is only a tiny fraction of the scene. Bdsm is definately not swinging. But some, swingers do like to cross over and indulge in a little bit of fetish fun. You don't get many that cross over the other way though. Its a very close knit scene. To understand it properly you need to join in the various clubs and events and learn all about it in the correct way. Any idiot can carry a, whip or a cane and not know which areas of the body should never be hit. Unless the subject is someone who likes to be abused and is an out and out masochist of course. Trust plays, a huge part in any bdsm relationship and that has, to be built up gradually. Rules, and standards have, to be established and set out from the very beginning. "

I am a person who crosses the boundaries. I found Bdsm first and swinging much much later and I know several swingers who came to BDSM after swinging. Tnere are common areas and it is a Venn diagram.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think 99% of my messages from new people are asking to tie me up or if Im sub.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use both Fab and FL but both fulfil different needs. I'm a kinkster at heart but one who really enjoys sex. I'm yet to meet someone whose interests are aligned to mine.

Kinks include but not limited to rope (bunny), wax play, impact play, DD/lg and breath play.

P.S - No I won't explain what any of these are and I don't care if you think DD/lg is "weird"

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

DD/lg is not my cup of tea, but it is a respected kink between consenting adults, and education not vilification is required.

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By *osie xWoman
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"I'm not a fan of FetLife It's a very hard to use site. Having tried it it's not for me.

I don't really have any BDSM kinks wrriten on my profile mainly because I don't know where to begin and as a bi male I think it puts women off that I'm searching for that elusive Dom female.

I mean I like fuck as well without all the BDSM stuff. It's not like I expect to be sub all the time it can be exhausting. I like kinky and non kinky sex too without all the hasel.

Plus It might sound odd that I enjoy being forced to wear a nappy, dog collar and chain and treated like a slave lol

Fet isn't that difficult to use, just different to Fab. Lots of useful information and contacts."

Alt is nearer this format i think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a fan of FetLife It's a very hard to use site. Having tried it it's not for me.

I don't really have any BDSM kinks wrriten on my profile mainly because I don't know where to begin and as a bi male I think it puts women off that I'm searching for that elusive Dom female.

I mean I like fuck as well without all the BDSM stuff. It's not like I expect to be sub all the time it can be exhausting. I like kinky and non kinky sex too without all the hasel.

Plus It might sound odd that I enjoy being forced to wear a nappy, dog collar and chain and treated like a slave lol

Fet isn't that difficult to use, just different to Fab. Lots of useful information and contacts.

Alt is nearer this format i think"

I deleted get account after 2 yes of trying to navigate the over complicated webpages. Very slow and sometimes waited months for replies from some local groups in Ireland only to be told they tend to communicate far more off it than on it.

Some very good information and that's what I'd say it's best for. Must look into Alt.

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