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Objects that are dicks

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My hoover is a total prick. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. It turns itself off when it's had enough and sometimes decides not to suck stuff up.

The plug in the bathroom sink is also a total bellpiece, it gets stuck into the down position and I have to wait for the water to cool down before I can unplug it.

Anyone else got objects in their house that are a complete nause?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My kids.... they annoy the shit out of me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My kids.... they annoy the shit out of me "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My washing machine is a complete nobber!, it likes to bounce out of its designated space on a fast spin, so I have to push the massive bastard back in, when it's done being said nobber.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My kids.... they annoy the shit out of me

"

Mum? Haha *jokes*

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My washing machine is a complete nobber!, it likes to bounce out of its designated space on a fast spin, so I have to push the massive bastard back in, when it's done being said nobber. "

What a massive jiggly inconsiderate bastard...

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Alexa has a bit of an attitude at times, just ignores you ...

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My washing machine likes to leave me puddles to soak my feet in. I can't locate a reason why, the filter is clean, the pipe is tight.

P

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

Piers Morgan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Alexa has a bit of an attitude at times, just ignores you ...

Miss"

This lol! We have 3...Alexa gets in a right Mars sometimes!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My microwave. I know you're finished you don't need to keep beeping at me!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a certain thread poster today I think might be

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My microwave. I know you're finished you don't need to keep beeping at me!!!"

My fridge is a beeper...Yes I know you're open, I opened you!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My microwave. I know you're finished you don't need to keep beeping at me!!!

My fridge is a beeper...Yes I know you're open, I opened you!!"

Popperty ping

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Piers Morgan"

He's one person who warrants objectification

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paul Pogba

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My microwave. I know you're finished you don't need to keep beeping at me!!!

My fridge is a beeper...Yes I know you're open, I opened you!!

Popperty ping"

Best Welsh word ever

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

That bit of the bed that always attracts my big toe, nothing hurts more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My kids.... they annoy the shit out of me

Mum? Haha *jokes* "

I'd be breast feeding you if I was your momma

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.

Corned beef tins and the blasted key grrrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The rug on my floor- loves to find the nearest wall and curl itself against said wall.

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By *hesterXXXMan
over a year ago

in your dreams

My 'smart tumble dryer finishes if it thinks the clothes in it are dry before the end of the programme.

Just do what you are told you little s***

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My smartphone.... smart my arse, I'll call it a smartphone the day I lose it and it shouts "here I am, under the sofa!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My oven. It keeps burning me the cunt

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By *hesterXXXMan
over a year ago

in your dreams

Stop sitting on it

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham

The table that keeps jumping out at my toe as I walking past it ... bastard thing

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My 'smart tumble dryer finishes if it thinks the clothes in it are dry before the end of the programme.

Just do what you are told you little s***

"

glad i'm not the only one that gets shouty with the household objects

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The table that keeps jumping out at my toe as I walking past it ... bastard thing "

My table does that. We should get our tables together ..they live in the same town

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fucking baby gates! It’s a constant effort just to get from room to room

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fucking baby gates! It’s a constant effort just to get from room to room "

God yes...total control freaks.

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By *ed-monkeyCouple
over a year ago

Hailsham


"The table that keeps jumping out at my toe as I walking past it ... bastard thing

My table does that. We should get our tables together ..they live in the same town "

More toe stubby objects though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My washing machine likes to leave me puddles to soak my feet in. I can't locate a reason why, the filter is clean, the pipe is tight.

P"

Always thought you'd have a tight pipe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My washing machine is a complete nobber!, it likes to bounce out of its designated space on a fast spin, so I have to push the massive bastard back in, when it's done being said nobber. "

They do that when the adjustable feet at the bottom haven't been levelled properly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My hoover is a total prick. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. It turns itself off when it's had enough and sometimes decides not to suck stuff up.

The plug in the bathroom sink is also a total bellpiece, it gets stuck into the down position and I have to wait for the water to cool down before I can unplug it.

Anyone else got objects in their house that are a complete nause?"

Hoover - you need to empty the ball bag my love....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My washing machine likes to leave me puddles to soak my feet in. I can't locate a reason why, the filter is clean, the pipe is tight.

P"

Check the seal around the door

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My hoover is a total prick. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. It turns itself off when it's had enough and sometimes decides not to suck stuff up.

The plug in the bathroom sink is also a total bellpiece, it gets stuck into the down position and I have to wait for the water to cool down before I can unplug it.

Anyone else got objects in their house that are a complete nause?

Hoover - you need to empty the ball bag my love.... "

Knew someone would be along with practical advice making my Hoover abuse seem irrational

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My hoover is a total prick. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. It turns itself off when it's had enough and sometimes decides not to suck stuff up.

The plug in the bathroom sink is also a total bellpiece, it gets stuck into the down position and I have to wait for the water to cool down before I can unplug it.

Anyone else got objects in their house that are a complete nause?

Hoover - you need to empty the ball bag my love....

Knew someone would be along with practical advice making my Hoover abuse seem irrational "

You can empty mine any day my lovely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My hob is a massive twat. It's off or full blast, no in between. I should get a new one but that takes thought, time and energy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My hob is a massive twat. It's off or full blast, no in between. I should get a new one but that takes thought, time and energy. "

Hob knob.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My hob is a massive twat. It's off or full blast, no in between. I should get a new one but that takes thought, time and energy. "

Why do women do that? I mean turn things on full or completely off? Like the heater in a car? Put it in the middle!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My hob is a massive twat. It's off or full blast, no in between. I should get a new one but that takes thought, time and energy.

Why do women do that? I mean turn things on full or completely off? Like the heater in a car? Put it in the middle!!!! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the biggest bell end in my house. After that it's probably my TV. Temperamental twat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My hob is a massive twat. It's off or full blast, no in between. I should get a new one but that takes thought, time and energy.

Why do women do that? I mean turn things on full or completely off? Like the heater in a car? Put it in the middle!!!!

"

Did I say, I think you're the most wonderful girl in my alternative world?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lego

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My hob is a massive twat. It's off or full blast, no in between. I should get a new one but that takes thought, time and energy.

Why do women do that? I mean turn things on full or completely off? Like the heater in a car? Put it in the middle!!!!

Did I say, I think you're the most wonderful girl in my alternative world? "

Oh, is that what you actually wrote? Silly me, always making mistakes!

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places

My iron has the occasional tendency to be a bit of a penis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My hob is a massive twat. It's off or full blast, no in between. I should get a new one but that takes thought, time and energy.

Why do women do that? I mean turn things on full or completely off? Like the heater in a car? Put it in the middle!!!!

Did I say, I think you're the most wonderful girl in my alternative world?

Oh, is that what you actually wrote? Silly me, always making mistakes! "

It's what I meant, you beautiful, brilliant woman xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My iron has the occasional tendency to be a bit of a penis"

Irons and penis don't mix well.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice arse OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nice arse OP "

I just looked at that arse.....

.....in public.....

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places


"Nice arse OP "

You're darn tooting Genghis - this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nice arse OP

I just looked at that arse.....

.....in public..... "

So did the guy behind you..........

Did you look?

Bet you did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nice arse OP

I just looked at that arse.....

.....in public.....

So did the guy behind you..........

Did you look?

Bet you did "

I'll hold my phone up....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nice arse OP

I just looked at that arse.....

.....in public..... "

I'm very jealous. I'd love see her bum in public

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nice arse OP

I just looked at that arse.....

.....in public..... "

I'm hoping it's not visible from Bath....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nice arse OP

I just looked at that arse.....

.....in public.....

I'm hoping it's not visible from Bath...."

I'm currently in Paris, it's like a full moon my love xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nice arse OP

I just looked at that arse.....

.....in public.....

I'm hoping it's not visible from Bath...."

So am I

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nice arse OP

I just looked at that arse.....

.....in public.....

I'm very jealous. I'd love see her bum in public "

In public or in private?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My washing machine likes to leave me puddles to soak my feet in. I can't locate a reason why, the filter is clean, the pipe is tight.

P"

Have you checked your flange?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Coat hangers are also on my hit list. I open the cupboard door and it's like a tangled coat hanger orgie in there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nice arse OP

I just looked at that arse.....

.....in public.....

I'm very jealous. I'd love see her bum in public

In public or in private? "

Both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My washing machine likes to leave me puddles to soak my feet in. I can't locate a reason why, the filter is clean, the pipe is tight.

P

Have you checked your flange?"

Ooh-err

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The wife , never sucks when needed

And never seem to work when there wanted to ,

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By *oleene HoneybeeWoman
over a year ago

on the naughty side of the street

Cling film

The most annoying thing in the world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cling film

The most annoying thing in the world "

Ever tried foil?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plastic milk bottles are inside out dicks, I swear.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Plastic milk bottles are inside out dicks, I swear..... "

Never met a dickish milk bottle...what do yours get up to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Plastic milk bottles are inside out dicks, I swear.....

Never met a dickish milk bottle...what do yours get up to?"

Dribbling....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Plastic milk bottles are inside out dicks, I swear.....

Never met a dickish milk bottle...what do yours get up to?

Dribbling.... "

Incontinent milk bottles...are you sure it's not user error?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My hoover is a total prick. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. It turns itself off when it's had enough and sometimes decides not to suck stuff up.

"

This is possibky a thermal protextion fuse tripping. Clean it all our and make sure all rotating parts move freely and easily.

If something is bogging down the motor the temperature will increase and a thermal cut off will kick in and turn it off till it cools down

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My hoover is a total prick. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. It turns itself off when it's had enough and sometimes decides not to suck stuff up.

This is possibky a thermal protextion fuse tripping. Clean it all our and make sure all rotating parts move freely and easily.

If something is bogging down the motor the temperature will increase and a thermal cut off will kick in and turn it off till it cools down"

Thanks...I'll give that a go. Does sound like it would be more effective as a troubleshooter than slagging it off on Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My washing machine likes to leave me puddles to soak my feet in. I can't locate a reason why, the filter is clean, the pipe is tight.

P

Have you checked your flange?"

I know my bladder doesn't have the best control but I do know when I'm pissing myself and leaving a puddle ta muchly.

*Whispers*

Which bit is the flange?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My hoover is a total prick. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. It turns itself off when it's had enough and sometimes decides not to suck stuff up.

This is possibky a thermal protextion fuse tripping. Clean it all our and make sure all rotating parts move freely and easily.

If something is bogging down the motor the temperature will increase and a thermal cut off will kick in and turn it off till it cools down

Thanks...I'll give that a go. Does sound like it would be more effective as a troubleshooter than slagging it off on Fab. "
hair wrapped round a shaft is a common one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The bathroom rug, I’ve only fallen over it about twenty times, give or take fifty times

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My hoover is a total prick. Sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. It turns itself off when it's had enough and sometimes decides not to suck stuff up.

This is possibky a thermal protextion fuse tripping. Clean it all our and make sure all rotating parts move freely and easily.

If something is bogging down the motor the temperature will increase and a thermal cut off will kick in and turn it off till it cools down

Thanks...I'll give that a go. Does sound like it would be more effective as a troubleshooter than slagging it off on Fab. hair wrapped round a shaft is a common one"

I can relate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The most intrusive thing in my home,

Allows me the freedom to roam.

It may take some time from real life,

Causing the odd mistake and some strife.

Unfortunately, the key to my heart,

Seems through my phone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most fabbers...

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