FabSwingers.com forum: Crap jokes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What do you call a man with no shins? Tony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is orange, has 9 eyes and 7 feet?

Nothing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats small, brown, furry and sneezes?

A coconut with a cold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's E.T short for?

Cos he's got little legs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man with a spade in his head?

Doug

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/04/19 00:30:01]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a woman with one leg longer than the other?

Eileen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a man with a spade in his head?

Doug "

Ah, but what do you call a man WITHOUT a spade in his head?

Douglas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's brown and hard?

Tough shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a man with a spade in his head?

Doug

Ah, but what do you call a man WITHOUT a spade in his head?

Douglas"

What do you call a man who has dug a hole but hit himself in the eye with the spade?

Dougie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff

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By *P_80Man
over a year ago

Waterford

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.

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By *heHornyChefMan
over a year ago

derby

What's got 2 legs and bleeds?

Half a dog

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By *hesterXXXMan
over a year ago

in your dreams

Doctor (to hard of hearing patient):

No Mrs Smith you misunderstand. I said you have acute angina.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man 6ft under (Pete).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you calla man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool...

Bob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man hiding under a pile of leaves?

Russell

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

What's yellow and dangerous?

Shark infested custard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What should you do if you see a space man?

Park in it man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rang a doctor to inquire about circumcision but I kept getting cut off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the snowman say to the other snowman..... can you smell carrots haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man enters a bar hat low over his eyes,collar turned up, sunglasses on,and with a bulge in his long Mac. He sees a black cat trying to cross his path so he kicks out at it. Whilst doing so there is a tremendous explosion which leaves him and another man dead and the other customers badly

shaken. On hearing about this his boss comments, all is well, he was always going on about "2 for the price of one" as his other job was working down at the local fish market.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A book just fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you get a small yellow electric mouse on a bus ?

Pokemon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What kind of bee’s produce milk?

Boo-bee’s

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By *igboobstCouple
over a year ago

barrow

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea

What do call a deer with no eyes or legs?

Still no idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two!

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By *igboobstCouple
over a year ago

barrow

Why did the banana go to the doctors

He wasn’t peeling well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about the shovel?

It was a ground breaking invention...

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire

What's big, red and eats rocks?

A big red rock eater.

Little Johnny is sitting on a step and his mum's watching him. He keeps licking the cat, eating a sweet then moving to the next step. So his mum goes to find out why.

"Johnny what are you doing?"

"Well mum I'm practicing for later"

"Practicing what exactly?"

"Well I'm eating pussy, poppin pills and moving the fuck on"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha I like that one!

When a deaf person sees someone yawn do they think it’s a scream?

A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup.

Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?” The patient replies “No. I’m afraid to.”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a fish with no eye?

A fsssssh

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By *am62Woman
over a year ago

Bristol

Why did the Chickens cross the road.. To get to the other side.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why did the Chickens cross the road.. To get to the other side. "

Why did the chickens cross the road.... To get to your house

Knock knock....

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By *am62Woman
over a year ago

Bristol

Two biscuits cross the road, one gets ran over, the other says.. Oh crumbs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea

What do call a deer with no eyes or legs?

Still no idea "

What do call a deer with no eyes or legs, and no cock? ?

Still no fucking idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the lifegaurd refuse to rescue the drowning hippy?

Because he was too far out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why did the Chickens cross the road.. To get to the other side. "

why did the pervert cross the road,

his cock was stuck in the chicken

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By *ertnsarahCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich

I can't remember the Roman numerals for 51, 6 & 500.

I'm fucking livid!

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Doctor (to hard of hearing patient):

No Mrs Smith you misunderstand. I said you have acute angina."

Love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doctor Doctor I've got a lettuce protruding from my arse.

Well bend over and let me have a look.

Is it bad, what do you think?

I'm sorry to say that's just the tip of the iceberg.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man with a rabbit up his bum?

Warren

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Did you hear about the actor who fell through a floorboard?

He was just going through a stage

Miss

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Doctor Doctor I've got a lettuce protruding from my arse.

Well bend over and let me have a look.

Is it bad, what do you think?

I'm sorry to say that's just the tip of the iceberg."

PMSL

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By *am62Woman
over a year ago

Bristol

Did you hear about the tap dancer,.. He went down the plug hole

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By *othasMan
over a year ago

wigan

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the cannibal say after eating a clown?

It tasted a bit funny.

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By *outhern ComfortCouple
over a year ago

bournemouth

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died...

He pasta-way

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By *outhern ComfortCouple
over a year ago

bournemouth

Two guys walk into a bar

The 3rd guy ducks

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By *outhern ComfortCouple
over a year ago

bournemouth

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An in-vest-igator

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By *outhern ComfortCouple
over a year ago

bournemouth

Why don't they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs

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By *outhern ComfortCouple
over a year ago

bournemouth

What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?

Oh sheet

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By *outhern ComfortCouple
over a year ago

bournemouth

Why do cow milking stools only have 3 legs?

Cause the cows got the udder

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By *punkymonkey40Man
over a year ago

derby

What do you call a dog with no ears ?

Anything he won't come to you

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By *punkymonkey40Man
over a year ago

derby

What did the the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two

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By *punkymonkey40Man
over a year ago

derby

How do you confuse an Irishman?

Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doctor I think I’m hard of hearing

What are the symptoms ?

Well, there’s Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa........

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