FabSwingers.com forum: First message

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So it's pretty well known one word, crude or copy and pasted messages are not a popular approach but what is?

What kinda messages do you reply to and which do you avoid?

Does having a good profile really matter or will you let it slip for a decent message?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't care about profile, the lengthiest of profiles sent the worst messages in my experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Short open ended messages have the best chance of getting a reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have tried various approaches with messaging, with little difference in response. I have always had better response from interacting in the forums first.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

There's no set thing that I will reply to/won't reply to. I like messages that are authentic from their senders. I don't think profiles matter that much; they just cement a yes or no. Ones that give me something I can go with/discuss something. Some are closed even I couldn't find shit to waffle about in response to them.

(And look how unpredictable I am Op. Practically sitting on my hands to not type what I want to!

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive tried the polite approach, the direct aporoach, witticisms based on status updates, well written messages based in profile info, engaging messages based on forum topics and none of it works, so now I've pretty much just given up trying...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the ones where they ask questions like

Prosecco or champagne?

Bar or club?

Comedy or horror

Beach or theme park?

Don't care who they are will always answer as shows an interest and would like to know their answers too.

Anything but dick pic lol

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I'll never message someone first if they have a shit profile. But I'll reply to them if they send me a good message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So it's pretty well known one word, crude or copy and pasted messages are not a popular approach but what is?

What kinda messages do you reply to and which do you avoid?

Does having a good profile really matter or will you let it slip for a decent message? "

If the message only says "hi" or is crude or clearly shows the sender hasn't read our profile (or read but ignored) then we won't reply or even open. Otherwise we will reply but the answer depends on what we read on the profile.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I don't like the pics then they won't get a reply. I hate long messages unless they make me laugh. I see long first messages as a complete waste of effort. No one particular way of messaging will make me reply though. I'm fickle. It'll change from one day to the next. That's life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of the time it depends what mood I'm in.

"Met now" or similar never get my interest though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My 1st message is usually relating to comments on the forum threads as in having something in common or something humourous

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

As long as they’re not rude, crude or twenty questions in one long sentence then I’m fine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As long as they’re not rude, crude or twenty questions in one long sentence then I’m fine

I'll bare that in mind

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

If they havent got a decent profile and decent first message they get nowhere doesnt matter how pretty they look

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"As long as they’re not rude, crude or twenty questions in one long sentence then I’m fine

I'll bare that in mind

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

When I get a message so long as it's not really crude I'll look at the profile first. If they are close enough, can accommodate and are my type regardless of the message I will reply and ask for a face pic if they didn't attach one.

No point messing about I want to see the face

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

In a random fit of randomness about 4 years ago, I unblocked my messages and filters, and put up a Red Dwarf status. I soon shut off messages and re-engaged the cock blocker, but one bloke fell through the crack... and we are happily perving to this day

Bastard!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do the “hi hows it going? Great profile” not really cut it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My 1st message is usually relating to comments on the forum threads as in having something in common or something humourous

This is actually the best way to get a reply from me because it starts off with common ground. I tend not to even look at the profile before replying.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

About the only messages I won't reply to are the "meet now for a BJ" type ones I sometimes get from guys - what level of interest I show beyond that may well depend on both the message content, the profile and how subsequent messages flow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply to most messages even if it is to let them down gently. There are the odd ignorant messages I ignore and delete. However the ones I love getting are from people I’ve fancied for a while but haven’t got around to telling.

Recently I’ve started sending messages proactively to people I fancy and have been very pleased with the response. There has been no set pattern to them but probably because they are at least already aware of me, it has been more successful.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The best messages for me are usually forum related (sometimes), or like answering a classified advert. Without being crude or generic, why me and not any of the other women within 50 miles (because I'm trying to avoid "any vagina with a pulse")? (it's unfortunately not a guarantee, as I also have to be interested, but it's the best shot)

My priorities are message, profile text, pictures.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

"So it's pretty well known one word, crude or copy and pasted messages are not a popular approach but what is?

What kinda messages do you reply to and which do you avoid?

Does having a good profile really matter or will you let it slip for a decent message? "

I don't get first messages.

So I'd probably reply positively to "oi Stingly, you're a bit if a cunt"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My 1st message is usually relating to comments on the forum threads as in having something in common or something humourous

This is actually the best way to get a reply from me because it starts off with common ground. I tend not to even look at the profile before replying. "

That can be an issue if I assume my profile has been read. I’m realising that there are possibly quite a few people on the forum that don’t read other forum users’ profiles, even when they have conversed enough to become friends

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

If they have a blank profile? Fuck off

No public pics? Fuck off

With both of the above and send 'hi, how's you?' F

uck off

If you honestly cant find something in my profile or pictures to start a conversation about? Fuck off

You get the drift, if you cant define why you contacted me in the first place then you are obviously sending the same message to every woman in my area as you are visiting my area in the next few days, in which case you have also ignored my profile as you are looking for a free prostitute, so again Fuck off lol

As you can see, there is a pattern there

Treat me as an individual who you are genuinely interested in, then I might just respond, if we match of course

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"If they have a blank profile? Fuck off

No public pics? Fuck off

With both of the above and send 'hi, how's you?' F

uck off

If you honestly cant find something in my profile or pictures to start a conversation about? Fuck off

As you can see, there is a pattern there

Treat me as an individual who you are genuinely interested in, then I might just respond, if we match of course

Or this if I'm in a bad mood

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My 1st message is usually relating to comments on the forum threads as in having something in common or something humourous

This is actually the best way to get a reply from me because it starts off with common ground. I tend not to even look at the profile before replying.

Oh that definitely happens but then I think it's a good thing if a friendship just grows through chatting without judging the things we share on our profiles.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If they have a blank profile? Fuck off

No public pics? Fuck off

With both of the above and send 'hi, how's you?' F

uck off

If you honestly cant find something in my profile or pictures to start a conversation about? Fuck off

As you can see, there is a pattern there

Treat me as an individual who you are genuinely interested in, then I might just respond, if we match of course

Or this if I'm in a bad mood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My 1st message is usually relating to comments on the forum threads as in having something in common or something humourous

This is actually the best way to get a reply from me because it starts off with common ground. I tend not to even look at the profile before replying.

Oh that definitely happens but then I think it's a good thing if a friendship just grows through chatting without judging the things we share on our profiles. "

I agree in the main, but assumptions can be made about an individual that when the truth is discovered, even when in a profile, can upend one’s complete view of an individual. Especially if it contradicts a rose-ttinted view of that individual.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My 1st message is usually relating to comments on the forum threads as in having something in common or something humourous

This is actually the best way to get a reply from me because it starts off with common ground. I tend not to even look at the profile before replying.

Oh that definitely happens but then I think it's a good thing if a friendship just grows through chatting without judging the things we share on our profiles.

I can see how that might happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like someone to wine and dine me, treat me like royalty. I also like to be sure of a sexual dalliance, which must include such filth that should require the room I leave to be quarantined.

Or, female/couple, I usually reply to them. Even if the message is blank. Every time. Always. Never refused. I’m sick,perverse and need help.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"If they have a blank profile? Fuck off

No public pics? Fuck off

With both of the above and send 'hi, how's you?' F

uck off

If you honestly cant find something in my profile or pictures to start a conversation about? Fuck off

As you can see, there is a pattern there

Treat me as an individual who you are genuinely interested in, then I might just respond, if we match of course

Or this if I'm in a bad mood

It's very truthful though isn't it

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"If they have a blank profile? Fuck off

No public pics? Fuck off

With both of the above and send 'hi, how's you?' F

uck off

If you honestly cant find something in my profile or pictures to start a conversation about? Fuck off

As you can see, there is a pattern there

Treat me as an individual who you are genuinely interested in, then I might just respond, if we match of course

Or this if I'm in a bad mood

It's very truthful though isn't it

Oh, definitely! The words "for fuck's sake, really?" are very common when going through my inbox.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like someone to wine and dine me, treat me like royalty. I also like to be sure of a sexual dalliance, which must include such filth that should require the room I leave to be quarantined.

Or, female/couple, I usually reply to them. Even if the message is blank. Every time. Always. Never refused. I’m sick,perverse and need help. "

And you told me I was special too

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By *litteasingManMan
over a year ago

Thereabouts

"So it's pretty well known one word, crude or copy and pasted messages are not a popular approach but what is?

What kinda messages do you reply to and which do you avoid?

Does having a good profile really matter or will you let it slip for a decent message? "

I don't get first messages, that's excluding the ones from guys offering a BJ. Therefore, I will go with the first messages I send.

I will look at the person's profile, and then pick on something a that will show them I read their profile. Where the profile is one line, then, I will look at the pictures to serve as a lead to my message. Where all those fail, I might start with their status. Where there is no profile (e.g. fill out later - even after years on here) or no profile picture, then they get my usual "Hi (their name), I was wondering if you might be interested in meeting a clean and respectful black guy. I know it's not everyone's preference, and I will respect your preference if I am outside it. If not, I would love to hear from you". All in all, I will make sure that the message is personal enough. These said, I don't seem to get so much replies and there will always be the many that will read and delete without reply (those ones I block to avoid contacting them again and they were my reason for the forum topic on "Read and delete"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll basically respond if they say I'm pretty.

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By *ob198XaMan
over a year ago

teleford

Timing is everything, any old crap can get a response if it arrives at the right moment... but no way of knowing just when that moment is.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"If they have a blank profile? Fuck off

No public pics? Fuck off

With both of the above and send 'hi, how's you?' F

uck off

If you honestly cant find something in my profile or pictures to start a conversation about? Fuck off

As you can see, there is a pattern there

Treat me as an individual who you are genuinely interested in, then I might just respond, if we match of course

Or this if I'm in a bad mood

It's very truthful though isn't it

Oh, definitely! The words "for fuck's sake, really?" are very common when going through my inbox. "

Unfortunately it is the same here

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Timing is everything, any old crap can get a response if it arrives at the right moment... but no way of knowing just when that moment is. "

If I'm in a mood that any old crap might get a reply, but it'll be terse and the crap sender will be blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Checks watch. Hopes for right mood. Leaves nice message, (hello, nice profile) - hopes to survive intact....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like someone to wine and dine me, treat me like royalty. I also like to be sure of a sexual dalliance, which must include such filth that should require the room I leave to be quarantined.

Or, female/couple, I usually reply to them. Even if the message is blank. Every time. Always. Never refused. I’m sick,perverse and need help.

And you told me I was special too

You are!! I would never incorporate bbq sauce with just any woman

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"So it's pretty well known one word, crude or copy and pasted messages are not a popular approach but what is?

What kinda messages do you reply to and which do you avoid?

Does having a good profile really matter or will you let it slip for a decent message? "

We will reply to every first message, but the quality of the reply will depend on the quality of their message and their profile.

Ideally something which says who they are, why they've contacted us and what they're after would be nice. Also proper words and sentences and no txt speak is a good start too.

Cal

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