FabSwingers.com forum: Single women's bodies are ruined

By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

Now we all know how outlandish and sensationalist the sun is..... the views of men though do seem to resonate.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/6954040/men-refuse-date-single-mums/?utm_campaign=sunmainfacebook020419&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1554195998

What's your views? No this isn't that anyone's is right, wrong or indifferent I am just curious

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

I couldn’t even read the first few paragraphs. People have opinions. Some people like to put those opinions in the public domain. It doesn’t concern me that a load of men I don’t fancy aren’t knocking my door down for a date.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not having the sun in my browser history so I won't be reading.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some would say it's a ruined body; others wouldn't care.

Not all women's bodies are decimated by pregnancy and childbirth either.

The rest of the article didn't surprise me at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not having the sun in my browser history so I won't be reading."

Go incognito

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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

I Never read cos it's tripe but it was shared so took a gander.... Oh my some people! Beggars belief

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Op, could you summarise the article? Can't quite bring myself to read it.

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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

"Op, could you summarise the article? Can't quite bring myself to read it.

Of course lovely

Women's bodies aren't the same - pregnancy ruined

Children walk in during sex

Men are made to feel second best

Single women can't be spontaneous

They don't like being father figures to others offspring

Cliff noted version

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not having the sun in my browser history so I won't be reading.

Go incognito

"
I'd still feel super dirty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well he's a catch isn't he? I will spend the rest of my week rueing the day I decided to have children, since I am now undedirable and unsuitable for a man such as he.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not having the sun in my browser history so I won't be reading.

Go incognito

I'd still feel super dirty

Go on, I did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not having the sun in my browser history so I won't be reading.

Go incognito

I'd still feel super dirty

Go on, I did

Seriously, it'll mentally scar me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well he's a catch isn't he? I will spend the rest of my week rueing the day I decided to have children, since I am now undedirable and unsuitable for a man such as he.

So this is the view of one individual?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well he's a catch isn't he? I will spend the rest of my week rueing the day I decided to have children, since I am now undedirable and unsuitable for a man such as he.

So this is the view of one individual?"

There are a few individuals. Apparently A YouTube clip by someone called Richard Cooper on the pitfalls of dating single mums has nearly 600,000 views. One man says: "I don’t want to be second best," he says.

“There’s a real trend in current parenting that the children always have to come first and women now seem to live for their kids” says Jonathan, who works in film and television and lives in Dunmow, Essex."

And another says the woman should be focusing on her kids, not penis. So either way, single mums are undatable.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Women's bodies aren't the same - pregnancy ruined

Children walk in during sex

Men are made to feel second best

Single women can't be spontaneous

They don't like being father figures to others offspring "

Thank you Op, that was really nice of you.

It sounds like a bunch of grown, probably middle aged men who aren't ready for relationships whinging and whining because they want to occupy the space of both partner and child to look after.

I guess that's shaming them a bit; I can see validity but also can't. I could never spontaneously fly around the world even when footloose and fancy free, I was studying and working most of the time.

Not wanting to be father figures to others. Ach, I get that. But why does a man have to become a father figure if he dates a single mum? He doesn't.

Children walking in during sex - obviously not okay.

Pregnancy can damage certain parts of a woman's body. Ruining?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haven't read rhe article but it sounds like the usual Sun rubbish . Yummy Mummies are the business !!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

There was a Fabber who liked to start threads about single mums and their woeful choice in men etc...

Sounds like an article he’d enjoy.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I wonder if any of those men are absentee fathers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder if any of those men are absentee fathers?"

One of them is. He speaks of feeling guilty for spending more time with his girlfriends child than his own, and being perplexed that the girlfriend seemed to want to take a father figure role in the life of her child.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some men don’t want to date single mothers. Plenty of others do. Preference innit?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

He better go off to ruin a dumb virgin somewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He better go off to ruin a dumb virgin somewhere"

Dumb virgin?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant.

Even.

Ok, I can...

I agree with some of it, not the article, I csnt bring myself to read it, but the summary.

Single mums like myself can rarely be spontaneous.

Most of the rest of it sounds like a load of self-entitled dribble.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've not read it. But as a mum when I was single of course my son came first and I understand that some men wouldn't like that. Those men wouldnt be for me. Luckily I met a man who took on my son as his own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about single dads? Are they considered so undesirable that it warrants a YouTube video on the pitfalls of dating them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“More expensive than prostitutes”..

Well doesnt he sound like a catch, not!

I don’t think it’s an unusual POV for some men to have, the expression “she carries extra baggage” (referring to kids) has been around for years.

Let’s face the majority of women will put their childrens well-being before any man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about single dads? Are they considered so undesirable that it warrants a YouTube video on the pitfalls of dating them? "

I’d say they’re not in the same “undesirable league”, unless they’re the main carer of the children...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well he's a catch isn't he? I will spend the rest of my week rueing the day I decided to have children, since I am now undedirable and unsuitable for a man such as he.

So this is the view of one individual?

And another says the woman should be focusing on her kids, not penis. So either way, single mums are undatable.

Sensationalistic reporting by the Sun? Never! Again, the vast majority of people don't think like this, I'm sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shocker. Some men have a low view of some women. Hardly newsworthy.

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

I think the biggest issue for those blokes, is that they would see the child as competition.

They need to bloody grow up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well he's a catch isn't he? I will spend the rest of my week rueing the day I decided to have children, since I am now undedirable and unsuitable for a man such as he.

So this is the view of one individual?

And another says the woman should be focusing on her kids, not penis. So either way, single mums are undatable.

Sensationalistic reporting by the Sun? Never! Again, the vast majority of people don't think like this, I'm sure."

I've no issues with parents living for their kids. There's nothing I wouldn't drop if my kids needed me (they're too young to be independent), but any parent would do the same I believe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Liverpool has many flaws, but one thing we did get right us that nobody here will buy, sell or read the S*n.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Not even gonna read that shit.

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By *arlo82 OP Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

"Liverpool has many flaws, but one thing we did get right us that nobody here will buy, sell or read the S*n."

Hahaha yeah wish i hadn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was a single parent they practically queued up. Mind you, most of the offers were from other single parents.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I can’t bring myself to read anything from The Super Soaraway Sun but it does sound a lot like if the writer was on Fab you’d block him and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about single dads? Are they considered so undesirable that it warrants a YouTube video on the pitfalls of dating them?

I’d say they’re not in the same “undesirable league”, unless they’re the main carer of the children..."

I share the care with their Mum that's why I can only do meets alternate weekends

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

This bit of the article made me smile..."There’s a real trend in current parenting that the children always have to come first"

I didn't think that was a new trend, mine would come first.

As much as the article could have maybe been written differently...most of what is said is true though, spontaneity goes out of the window if you have kids , if a man dating a single woman wants to go out it could involve taking the child so having to change where you go etc, bodies also change when you have children ( although it doesn't mean that a woman doesn't still look good )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the 'body is ruined after childbirth' attitude really odd. Is it really so bad to have a few stretch marks? Anyone can have those just from growing quickly as a teenager, or regular weight fluctuations. Bodies change due to pregnancy, for sure, but are they really that different? I get more sensation and pleasure now than I ever did before I had children so I'm very happy with that change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait until it is their sprog that has ruined the body, they wont care so much then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anyone read the sun anymore?

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

"I find the 'body is ruined after childbirth' attitude really odd. Is it really so bad to have a few stretch marks? Anyone can have those just from growing quickly as a teenager, or regular weight fluctuations. Bodies change due to pregnancy, for sure, but are they really that different? I get more sensation and pleasure now than I ever did before I had children so I'm very happy with that change. "

I think the intimation is we have fannys like buckets...i dont count, i had two c-sections!

In other news, dating men with an attitude like that only furthers the manchild phenomenon...surely single mums are ideally suited to cope with mothering another beastly child

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I think the intimation is we have fannys like buckets...i dont count, i had two c-sections!

In other news, dating men with an attitude like that only furthers the manchild phenomenon...surely single mums are ideally suited to cope with mothering another beastly child

Yes, he sounds like he could do with a few minutes on the naughty step

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about single dads? Are they considered so undesirable that it warrants a YouTube video on the pitfalls of dating them? "

When I was a single dad with children at home, yep it was an issue for some single women who wanted me available.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

It's a sensationalist article which deliberately picks out the worst attitudes displayed by a tiny group of men and passes them off as being more representative than they really are. Clickbait.

There's plenty of honourable reasons why a guy may prefer to date a lady without kids (and vice versa) but those just wouldn't make a striking enough headline.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wear a condom is all I can say in the first place and don't have kids if you're not happy with eachother causing a split.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I suppose we can't say everyone has little change to their bodies but for a lot of women no, there can't be that much change.

I think whichever women he swiped left on had a lucky escape myself

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By *xperimental Couple69Couple
over a year ago

Northern

Its the SUN news paper

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose we can't say everyone has little change to their bodies but for a lot of women no, there can't be that much change.

I think whichever women he swiped left on had a lucky escape myself"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s the sun newspaper for you, full of absolute Bollox. It takes the opinions of braindead men from up an down the country and try’s to make out its the common consensus amongst the rest of us. I personally find some single mums quite desirable, I have a child myself, so I am well aware of the difficulties of raising children whilst still trying to live your own life, so any women who can juggle family life and Work whilst on their own is a boss in my eyes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The 3 men in the article are 52, 45 and 46 and not really a representative sample. They don't want to get involved with someone else's kids as they don't fit the lifestyles they are looking for. Simple as that really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder if any of those men are absentee fathers?"

I was a single dad 'til quite recently . My young lad always came first . Got to keep the priorities straight .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about single dads? Are they considered so undesirable that it warrants a YouTube video on the pitfalls of dating them?

I’d say they’re not in the same “undesirable league”, unless they’re the main carer of the children..."

Guess that explains a lot. Since when did being a single guy being a carer, ie father,to his own children make us so undesirable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wonder if any of those men are absentee fathers?

I was a single dad 'til quite recently . My young lad always came first . Got to keep the priorities straight ."

I don't think it wrecked my Dadbod either , lol ,

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

The bloke in the pics is a bit plastic, fake or photoshopped maybe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The bloke in the pics is a bit plastic, fake or photoshopped maybe? "

Very photoshopped!

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By *ellbound_GhoulwarpWoman
over a year ago

Fifth Circle of Hell

My body is fucked and I've had no kids so.....lol

We all know what the sun is like

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

I kinda get this as I’d not be that interested in a man that had kids living with him

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

"This bit of the article made me smile..."There’s a real trend in current parenting that the children always have to come first"

I didn't think that was a new trend, mine would come first.

I would be very suspicious of anyone that did not put their children before someone they were dating!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In something’s i had a C-section my stomach is still f*cked will never be flat again what ever I try & do! & also a bit changed (haven’t read the article) but found that the men I did start to have a relationship with only wanted me & not my child found this in a couple of relationships so brought my son up on my own he always came first & still does x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think the biggest issue for those blokes, is that they would see the child as competition.

They need to bloody grow up!"

Exactly this.

People have competing priorities. Sometimes they're not you! Pass the salt.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

And anyone who thinks a dependent child's needs should take a backseat to their libido needs to take a long hard look at themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a woman body that has had kids no matter of stress mark or c section are more amazing as have gave life and should be proud of that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Man the womens sections of papers is just god awful.

But tbf how is any one surprised that a large percentage of men dont want the huge baggage that comes with a single mum and some other guy(s) kids?

Its not particuarly unusual in my view to want to find a partner in a comparable position to yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are two million single parents in the UK and 91 per cent of them women."

Hang on, this is one of the weirdest statistics ive read 180k dudes have fathered nearly 2 million kids?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And anyone who thinks a dependent child's needs should take a backseat to their libido needs to take a long hard look at themselves. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I could never spontaneously fly around the world even when footloose and fancy free, I was studying and working most of the time.

Doesn't that make you question the point of working hard in the first place?

For me the whole point if being "successful" is largely the ability to insulate my self from if the consequences of life and alow me to not have to worry but instead just do whst i want at the timr.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now we all know how outlandish and sensationalist the sun is..... the views of men though do seem to resonate.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/6954040/men-refuse-date-single-mums/?utm_campaign=sunmainfacebook020419&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook#Echobox=1554195998

What's your views? No this isn't that anyone's is right, wrong or indifferent I am just curious "

Made it about halfway through... fuck me, there are some twats out there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't read the sun

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By *attooedBBWWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Wow...

This article was based around a spoiled narcissist brat and is also in The Sun so I’m not surprised but it did make me laugh

One day men will stop making women’s bodies something they think they own and can make generalisations on

(Owners excluded

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Female journalism is very focused isn't it

"Yet relationship psychotherapist Caron Barruw says the problem isn't single mums, but the immature commitment-phobic men who won't date them.

"This is an immature and selfish way of looking at relationships", she says."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Female journalism is very focused isn't it

"Yet relationship psychotherapist Caron Barruw says the problem isn't single mums, but the immature commitment-phobic men who won't date them.

"This is an immature and selfish way of looking at relationships", she says.""

I'd prefer to date a single mum, she'd understand me and my commitments better than most non-mothers would, I imagine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The bit about womens' bodies being ruined by childbirth is the only bit that was really objectionable. And completely ill informed. The rest made sense as we all take lots of factors into account when deciding to get into a relationship with someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Female journalism is very focused isn't it

"Yet relationship psychotherapist Caron Barruw says the problem isn't single mums, but the immature commitment-phobic men who won't date them.

"This is an immature and selfish way of looking at relationships", she says."

I'd prefer to date a single mum, she'd understand me and my commitments better than most non-mothers would, I imagine."
but understanding only goes so far between ehat is esentialy strangers.

How many missed dates and opportunities due to both of your complications before one of you just finds somone more available

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

" I could never spontaneously fly around the world even when footloose and fancy free, I was studying and working most of the time.

Doesn't that make you question the point of working hard in the first place?

For me the whole point if being "successful" is largely the ability to insulate my self from if the consequences of life and alow me to not have to worry but instead just do whst i want at the timr."

No. I enjoyed the studying and long hours. I'd go so far as to say loved it. I liked having it as a sort of obsession and being able to get gratification from measurable rewards in both academic and professional terms. I am aware I am bloody odd.

I did what was necessary to get to where I am now. Where I can take jolly jaunts and have more flexibility in my day and still be financially stable and not worry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Female journalism is very focused isn't it

"Yet relationship psychotherapist Caron Barruw says the problem isn't single mums, but the immature commitment-phobic men who won't date them.

"This is an immature and selfish way of looking at relationships", she says."

I'd prefer to date a single mum, she'd understand me and my commitments better than most non-mothers would, I imagine. but understanding only goes so far between ehat is esentialy strangers.

How many missed dates and opportunities due to both of your complications before one of you just finds somone more available "

C'est la vie. Most women I meet are mothers, due to my own age, it makes it more likely. Young sprogs (bar Queen Leviosa of course) show me very little attention.

I'm in no rush, some things are worth waiting for.. if we move on to someone else whilst our schedules don't match (common occurrence given alternate weekends most split parents agree to) then we move on temporarily and hope the wind changes further on down the line.

I'd disagree about ruined bodies though.. There are plenty of great examples of physically stunning MILFS and GILFS for this loveable DILF to admire on Fab.

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By *attooedBBWWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Female journalism is very focused isn't it

"Yet relationship psychotherapist Caron Barruw says the problem isn't single mums, but the immature commitment-phobic men who won't date them.

"This is an immature and selfish way of looking at relationships", she says."

I'd prefer to date a single mum, she'd understand me and my commitments better than most non-mothers would, I imagine."

I’d like to think most women without children would still understand commitments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I support their right to have a preference for who they do and don't want to date.

However from their comments I think single mums have had a very lucky escape.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And anyone who thinks a dependent child's needs should take a backseat to their libido needs to take a long hard look at themselves. "

Unfortunately some men who become dads also think this way.

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By *heffmMan
over a year ago

sheffield

the sun is hardly a thing to be taken seriously and any place to take seriously any criticism of women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that it’s been taken out of context drastically. Let’s not forget, the sun is a tabloid and not a real newspaper. They literally make these ‘studies’ up in a boardroom.

I think that we (men) can all agree: we’d rather our partners had their first child with us. A single parent is hardly what we all DREAM of, though the majority would hardly allow it to put them off someone that they truly liked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that it’s been taken out of context drastically. Let’s not forget, the sun is a tabloid and not a real newspaper. They literally make these ‘studies’ up in a boardroom.

I don't think any parent, male or female intentionally has a child thinking the relationship might not work out, but things happen. In another 10 years my kids will be all grown up, and I'll be able to have as much unadulterated filth as I can handle! Ha ha

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think that it’s been taken out of context drastically. Let’s not forget, the sun is a tabloid and not a real newspaper. They literally make these ‘studies’ up in a boardroom.

It's an attitude that crops up a lot, regardless of the reliability of the source this time. That women's histories make them damaged goods and unworthy of men. Funnily enough it rarely works the other way around!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that it’s been taken out of context drastically. Let’s not forget, the sun is a tabloid and not a real newspaper. They literally make these ‘studies’ up in a boardroom.

Its not a study its from a thread on an internet site

Like when the daily mail makes a story about this place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that it’s been taken out of context drastically. Let’s not forget, the sun is a tabloid and not a real newspaper. They literally make these ‘studies’ up in a boardroom.

Well by the articles own statistic only 9% of men get custody so obvipusly its going to be rarer the other way round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that it’s been taken out of context drastically. Let’s not forget, the sun is a tabloid and not a real newspaper. They literally make these ‘studies’ up in a boardroom.

Its not a study its from a thread on an internet site

Like when the daily mail makes a story about this place"

I thought it was from a blog on an article on an internet site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that it’s been taken out of context drastically. Let’s not forget, the sun is a tabloid and not a real newspaper. They literally make these ‘studies’ up in a boardroom.

Ha! You think? My kids have kids of their own and I struggle to find time for filth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that it’s been taken out of context drastically. Let’s not forget, the sun is a tabloid and not a real newspaper. They literally make these ‘studies’ up in a boardroom.

Its not a study its from a thread on an internet site

Like when the daily mail makes a story about this place"

That’s even worse then lol. I’ve noticed that the daily mail, also try and make reddit and mums net posts into factual data. The ignorant eat it up, the wise chuckle. It must be fun times over at the sun/daily mail headquarters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that it’s been taken out of context drastically. Let’s not forget, the sun is a tabloid and not a real newspaper. They literally make these ‘studies’ up in a boardroom.

Its not a study its from a thread on an internet site

Like when the daily mail makes a story about this place

I thought it was from a blog on an article on an internet site."

No lol its from whispers a site mainly used to caption pics of cats

"On a recent thread on the secret sharing app, Whisper, tried to explain the warped reasons they ruled out dating single mothers."

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