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"So who’s dominant? You or the woman? me obviously " If it was obvious I wouldn’t have asked | |||
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"I would advise you speak to Geminiman. He's a good voice of reason and I've seen him list a number of books on the subject worth reading. I'd read first before getting into it. " Lots of men want to ‘dom’ women but have absolutely no idea what they’re doing, or what it actually entails | |||
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"I'm really starting to dig into the BDSM, latex and leather as of recently ... Just being dominant and taking control while a woman is bound, in her tight latex suit ... Getting whipped and punished if she steps out of line ... Its really turned me on alot more than usual and I think that's where I need to start looking next, just where and how to start that's the issue? " If it floats your boat go for it! | |||
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"There's just something about a woman in tight latex that hits the spot.. then seeing her submit that gets me going. Dragging her across the floor and throwing her onto the sofa to fuck her while her hands are bound above her arse....." | |||
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"I would advise you speak to Geminiman. He's a good voice of reason and I've seen him list a number of books on the subject worth reading. I'd read first before getting into it. Lots of men want to ‘dom’ women but have absolutely no idea what they’re doing, or what it actually entails " This | |||
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"There's just something about a woman in tight latex that hits the spot.. then seeing her submit that gets me going. Dragging her across the floor and throwing her onto the sofa to fuck her while her hands are bound above her arse....." Yeah.. go ask Geminiman for the books. | |||
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"There's just something about a woman in tight latex that hits the spot.. then seeing her submit that gets me going. Dragging her across the floor and throwing her onto the sofa to fuck her while her hands are bound above her arse....." If that's what's been previously agreed, fine. I think you really need to do some research | |||
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"There's just something about a woman in tight latex that hits the spot.. then seeing her submit that gets me going. Dragging her across the floor and throwing her onto the sofa to fuck her while her hands are bound above her arse..... Yeah.. go ask Geminiman for the books." Do it now. This minute in fact | |||
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"A girl I was with talked me through about being dominant she'd go into with different types and we'd talk for hours about it.... Did a little daddy roleplaying and had her screaming daddy. She loved it too." Which one of the 3 you've slept with was this. The 6 hour penetration, the one that moved away or the other one? P | |||
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"There's just something about a woman in tight latex that hits the spot.. then seeing her submit that gets me going. Dragging her across the floor and throwing her onto the sofa to fuck her while her hands are bound above her arse....." Sounds like porn to me. Please research this properly and speak to people who understand this dynamic. This is very much a lifestyle and there's a million times more to it than what you're conveying. Knowledge is power. | |||
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"So who’s dominant? You or the woman? me obviously " yes I don't get dominance from you either you'll have to work on that | |||
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"You should probably sub to try it out from other side before you commit. Might find you like the feel of silk panties brushing your freshly waxed ass and the thwack of a paddle. " I have been on the sub side a little the same girl also tried being dominant ... She'd use her magic wand on my cock and use her nails to stroke the head of my cock ... If I tried to grab my cock she'd smack the inside of my thighs ... And she'd get me say "yes miss" and if I hesitate she'd hit me harder..... | |||
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"Do some research, being physical isn't being a Dom." Yes, the psychology and mindset is much more important. | |||
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"You should probably sub to try it out from other side before you commit. Might find you like the feel of silk panties brushing your freshly waxed ass and the thwack of a paddle. I have been on the sub side a little the same girl also tried being dominant ... She'd use her magic wand on my cock and use her nails to stroke the head of my cock ... If I tried to grab my cock she'd smack the inside of my thighs ... And she'd get me say "yes miss" and if I hesitate she'd hit me harder..... " That’s just role play, how did she get into your mind and also gain trust in the first place? | |||
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"Also, am I right you don't just become Dom? You are either natural Dom or you're not I think it would take a patient sub to "teach" a new Dom the ropes (yes, pun intended)" You are right. You are either naturally wired that way or not. A guy I know that is a Dom ( he doesn’t call himself that) knew from a teenager that he was drawn to certain things that were a little different. It progressed from there. | |||
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"Pulling up a pew... I do love an amusing thread " Get the biscuits out please. | |||
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"You should probably sub to try it out from other side before you commit. Might find you like the feel of silk panties brushing your freshly waxed ass and the thwack of a paddle. I have been on the sub side a little the same girl also tried being dominant ... She'd use her magic wand on my cock and use her nails to stroke the head of my cock ... If I tried to grab my cock she'd smack the inside of my thighs ... And she'd get me say "yes miss" and if I hesitate she'd hit me harder..... That’s just role play, how did she get into your mind and also gain trust in the first place? " I ask myself that all the time ... I impressed her ... We talked .. went on a few dates and seen eachother for 4 months every weekend and we'd explore.... But she had other commitments and had to move for a job elsewhere so it had to end. | |||
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"I'm really starting to dig into the BDSM, latex and leather as of recently ... Just being dominant and taking control while a woman is bound, in her tight latex suit ... Getting whipped and punished if she steps out of line ... Its really turned me on alot more than usual and I think that's where I need to start looking next, just where and how to start that's the issue? " Funny looking at your profile picture thought you go looking for The White Whale.. Ahab. | |||
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"Pulling up a pew... I do love an amusing thread Get the biscuits out please. " Custard cream, bourbons or dark chocolate rich tea? | |||
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"Also, am I right you don't just become Dom? You are either natural Dom or you're not I think it would take a patient sub to "teach" a new Dom the ropes (yes, pun intended) You are right. You are either naturally wired that way or not. A guy I know that is a Dom ( he doesn’t call himself that) knew from a teenager that he was drawn to certain things that were a little different. It progressed from there. " I don't think it is as black and white as that. Though I do agree it's not something just anybody can learn either. It is a large spectrum and depends on they type of dom you want to be, or are at least interested in. Most definitely more of a spectrum than straight up labels. | |||
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"Also, am I right you don't just become Dom? You are either natural Dom or you're not I think it would take a patient sub to "teach" a new Dom the ropes (yes, pun intended) You are right. You are either naturally wired that way or not. A guy I know that is a Dom ( he doesn’t call himself that) knew from a teenager that he was drawn to certain things that were a little different. It progressed from there. I don't think it is as black and white as that. Though I do agree it's not something just anybody can learn either. It is a large spectrum and depends on they type of dom you want to be, or are at least interested in. Most definitely more of a spectrum than straight up labels." Absolutely agree. | |||
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"Also, am I right you don't just become Dom? You are either natural Dom or you're not I think it would take a patient sub to "teach" a new Dom the ropes (yes, pun intended) You are right. You are either naturally wired that way or not. A guy I know that is a Dom ( he doesn’t call himself that) knew from a teenager that he was drawn to certain things that were a little different. It progressed from there. I don't think it is as black and white as that. Though I do agree it's not something just anybody can learn either. It is a large spectrum and depends on they type of dom you want to be, or are at least interested in. Most definitely more of a spectrum than straight up labels." Oh I agree ... I was doing that thing I hate and using a sweeping generalisation to make the point that you don't just become dom overnight | |||
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"There is a world of difference between role play, rough sex, kinky sex and BDSM. I'm no expert in the field and wiser owls have already spoken. The dynamic is truly complex, but it isn't as simple as "I'm a dom". Do your research, speak to people, learn your place. The thought of you being Dom may turn you on. The reality may be that you just don't have it in you and your natural position is to sub. Exploration is key. And whilst you haven't asked for advice about your profile, ask yourself this... If you were a sub seeking a new Dom, would you take someone serious with a smily face sharpie'd on to his cock?" Also good point haha | |||
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"I'm really starting to dig into the BDSM, latex and leather as of recently ... Just being dominant and taking control while a woman is bound, in her tight latex suit ... Getting whipped and punished if she steps out of line ... Its really turned me on alot more than usual and I think that's where I need to start looking next, just where and how to start that's the issue? " Make sure it's dark when you take these women out of your boot. | |||
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"Also, am I right you don't just become Dom? You are either natural Dom or you're not I think it would take a patient sub to "teach" a new Dom the ropes (yes, pun intended) You are right. You are either naturally wired that way or not. A guy I know that is a Dom ( he doesn’t call himself that) knew from a teenager that he was drawn to certain things that were a little different. It progressed from there. I don't think it is as black and white as that. Though I do agree it's not something just anybody can learn either. It is a large spectrum and depends on they type of dom you want to be, or are at least interested in. Most definitely more of a spectrum than straight up labels. Oh I agree ... I was doing that thing I hate and using a sweeping generalisation to make the point that you don't just become dom overnight" Indeed. It is a tricky thing. Labels most definitely help get the point across and cover all bases, even if it has to be a sweeping generalisation. Using the spectrum with neutral as the middle ground, I am on the dom side of it but not far from neutral - full control is not my desire. This however is where the learning part comes in for me, how much further away from neutral am I able to go. I'll never be in to the extreme end of the spectrum, I know this, but I do know I have room to grow in the role. Brat play is the closest as I can label where I fit in to with regards to labels (which is then another spectrum of things itself). What did I learn? bdsm is a spectrum within a spectrum, within a spectrum. Bdsmception! | |||
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"That's why I'm willing to explore .... She said I was more of a caring dominant role and could switch. I know what I said wasn't a good example but I feel as though I'm wanting to go through a controlling stage .... I don't know why. " That's just a style of play without any proper bdsm basis.. being a dom or switch is a complete way of thinking where the mind is the primary focus. There's no pleasure in any control unless the bond between partners is established already. You really need to get some basic understanding of the difference between true bdsm and fantasy. As a long established switch I have never been dragged anywhere by my hair and would avoid anyone who thought this was being dominant like the plague. | |||
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"I'm really starting to dig into the BDSM, latex and leather as of recently ... Just being dominant and taking control while a woman is bound, in her tight latex suit ... Getting whipped and punished if she steps out of line ... Its really turned me on alot more than usual and I think that's where I need to start looking next, just where and how to start that's the issue? Make sure it's dark when you take these women out of your boot." And ensure the hole is already dug | |||
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"Pulling up a pew... I do love an amusing thread " This | |||
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"There's just something about a woman in tight latex that hits the spot.. then seeing her submit that gets me going. Dragging her across the floor and throwing her onto the sofa to fuck her while her hands are bound above her arse....." You'll need a woman who is ok with being bound, dragged and thrown around. I'm submissive but I wouldn't allow any one to do that to me. I don't like aggression. | |||
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"There's just something about a woman in tight latex that hits the spot.. then seeing her submit that gets me going. Dragging her across the floor and throwing her onto the sofa to fuck her while her hands are bound above her arse....." That’s fantasy, which isn’t a bad thing, but thinking that makes you a Dom isn’t a given. Mr and I spent months discussing what we wanted, how to ensure that I felt safe and secure, that it was mutually beneficial. You have to trust your Dom, before you can submit. Do your research, don’t just think you can do it. As a submissive I have one Master only, and that’s because I trust him, and we have a relationship that is strong. I wouldn’t let anyone treat me like you want to treat someone just because it gives you a kick. That’s not how it works. Good luck with the research, and if you go down the route remember being a Dom means also treating people with respect, not just as objects for your pleasure x | |||
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"It's why I'm not jumping into it straight away... I want to explore and learn first." That's great in regards to something as niche and complex as B.D.M.S, but ( and I could be very wrong ) I get from your profile / posts I've seen, that you might not yet have a great handle on the basics of what the average lady fabber is looking for and attracted by. Your profile update heading for example:- 'I want to fuck you like the whore you deserve to be'....that might not be the most attractive or compelling intro. You strike me as a nice guy who ( like all of us at one time ) are inexperienced in communicating / flirting with women. Your relatively young age and probably a busy life can make it difficult to gain this experience. Members on sites like this are actually regular people. Yes, they are probably more sexually open minded, adventurous and certain of what they like in the bedroom, but that's down the line with people they find they click with. Maybe use your profile to relate more of your personality and less of your sexual wishlist. I really hope this doesn't read as condescending, seriously not my intention. I really feel you need to get socialising and flirting in the real world, and gain the experience your entitled to there first. That's what I meant by 'Learn to walk before you attempt free-running'. We all had to do it, I can't tell you how upset I was when getting my friend to go up to a girl and say ' How ya, yeah, so my friend over there underneath the pimples, likes you' stopped working ...and I had to start talking to them myself...but you know they even though they were pretty, had boobs and I'm sure concealed foo-foos...they were actually interesting people with brains, emotions and opinions and everything ....sorry OP, I got a sugar rush there, but basically try not to do yourself an injustice on here by coming across as one of the minority of guys that think they are looking at sexual objects as opposed to people of the opposite gender who you find sexy...and some might just find you sexy if they get a sense of the real you. Good luck OP ! | |||
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"Someone has touched on it already OP but if you expect to be taken seriously about this you will need to ensure your profile reflects your interest in a way that shows you've put thought into it and reflects your understanding of the dynamic - you've not asked for profile advice so I shan't critique yours in any way but bear the above in mind. Like I said previously though the first thing you need to truly do is understand the dynamic fully " and I got in touch with the wrong _emini man.... thanks who ever suggested geminiman haha | |||
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" There is a very different line between porn bdsm and real life, please do your research, please speak to people that have been into it a number of years and don’t dive in head first. I do worry op about you because your sexual experience does seem to be limited and I don’t know if sometimes these experiences have actually happened because sometimes your threads seem a little mixed up and a little far fetched, you are a nice guy around here but around here we don’t shock easily and sometimes what you post even makes my eyes widen. Please stay safe and only go into this when you are confident Danish x" | |||
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"Have you seriously just put on your headline calling women whores etc? Now I am pretty inexperienced with the bdsm world (see above) but I assume even women that are into this world fully wouldn’t be swayed by that headline, bdsm is about respect for the sub not treating her like a piece of meat. Please, speak to someone in the world for profile tips and how to embark on this journey. Danish x" As a sub, reading what I’ve just read I wouldn’t go near the OP, based on the profile heading and text alone. Absolutely nothing would reassure me the OP knows anything about being a Dom, and there is nothing to sway me that I would be treated with an iota of respect. Sorry OP, you seem like a nice guy from your previous posts, but this, this is a big no no. Obviously that’s my personal opinion and has no influence on you or anyone who may be attracted to what you’re offering. However, you don’t seem to understand the concept of Dom/sub dynamics, so perhaps you should do actual in-depth research before you promote yourself in such a way x And no, it’s not a “I’m a sub, I know everything” response, but that I’m a woman who is submissive- the fact that I’m a woman should always take precedence before any sexual kinks Viv x | |||
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"OP - there is some fantastic advice being given in this thread, please pay attention to it. I think the best bit if have read is take a step back and consider everything. Do your research, find Dominants that know what they are doing and study them, learn about the dynamics of BDSM, be prepared to learn about consent, first aid, psychology, physiology, emotional support, body language, safety, communication and a litany of other subjects that a Dominant needs to operate safely. It can be as random as the different melting temperature betweens candles and which knots tighten under tension and which don’t through to where you stand legally on the issue of consent, implied consent and removal of consent. The importance of communication and consent can never be over stated - so fully understand the idea of boundaries, hardlimits, safe words. I applaud anyone who wants be a Dominant but it is so much more than your fantasy suggests. You are not going to drag anyone wearing latex across the floor - the high friction coefficient of latex on a dry surface would ruin the latex and cause nasty friction burns on your submissive. I hope you study this fully and properly before you do some damage to a submissive. " Bravo Sir!! Bravo OP if you only pay attention to one post on this thread (and you shouldn't as there are LOTS of good ones) make it this one - read it, read it again, digest it and make it your mantra. | |||
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"OP - there is some fantastic advice being given in this thread, please pay attention to it. I think the best bit if have read is take a step back and consider everything. Do your research, find Dominants that know what they are doing and study them, learn about the dynamics of BDSM, be prepared to learn about consent, first aid, psychology, physiology, emotional support, body language, safety, communication and a litany of other subjects that a Dominant needs to operate safely. It can be as random as the different melting temperature betweens candles and which knots tighten under tension and which don’t through to where you stand legally on the issue of consent, implied consent and removal of consent. The importance of communication and consent can never be over stated - so fully understand the idea of boundaries, hardlimits, safe words. I applaud anyone who wants be a Dominant but it is so much more than your fantasy suggests. You are not going to drag anyone wearing latex across the floor - the high friction coefficient of latex on a dry surface would ruin the latex and cause nasty friction burns on your submissive. I hope you study this fully and properly before you do some damage to a submissive. Bravo Sir!! Bravo OP if you only pay attention to one post on this thread (and you shouldn't as there are LOTS of good ones) make it this one - read it, read it again, digest it and make it your mantra." This GeminiMan! This is the one I meant. It's like Highlander, there can be only one. | |||
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"OP - there is some fantastic advice being given in this thread, please pay attention to it. I think the best bit if have read is take a step back and consider everything. Do your research, find Dominants that know what they are doing and study them, learn about the dynamics of BDSM, be prepared to learn about consent, first aid, psychology, physiology, emotional support, body language, safety, communication and a litany of other subjects that a Dominant needs to operate safely. It can be as random as the different melting temperature betweens candles and which knots tighten under tension and which don’t through to where you stand legally on the issue of consent, implied consent and removal of consent. The importance of communication and consent can never be over stated - so fully understand the idea of boundaries, hardlimits, safe words. I applaud anyone who wants be a Dominant but it is so much more than your fantasy suggests. You are not going to drag anyone wearing latex across the floor - the high friction coefficient of latex on a dry surface would ruin the latex and cause nasty friction burns on your submissive. I hope you study this fully and properly before you do some damage to a submissive. Bravo Sir!! Bravo OP if you only pay attention to one post on this thread (and you shouldn't as there are LOTS of good ones) make it this one - read it, read it again, digest it and make it your mantra. This GeminiMan! This is the one I meant. It's like Highlander, there can be only one. " There's always two with us Geminis you know (Saves my head getting chopped off by the other one too!! ) | |||
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"OP - there is some fantastic advice being given in this thread, please pay attention to it. I think the best bit if have read is take a step back and consider everything. Do your research, find Dominants that know what they are doing and study them, learn about the dynamics of BDSM, be prepared to learn about consent, first aid, psychology, physiology, emotional support, body language, safety, communication and a litany of other subjects that a Dominant needs to operate safely. It can be as random as the different melting temperature betweens candles and which knots tighten under tension and which don’t through to where you stand legally on the issue of consent, implied consent and removal of consent. The importance of communication and consent can never be over stated - so fully understand the idea of boundaries, hardlimits, safe words. I applaud anyone who wants be a Dominant but it is so much more than your fantasy suggests. You are not going to drag anyone wearing latex across the floor - the high friction coefficient of latex on a dry surface would ruin the latex and cause nasty friction burns on your submissive. I hope you study this fully and properly before you do some damage to a submissive. Bravo Sir!! Bravo OP if you only pay attention to one post on this thread (and you shouldn't as there are LOTS of good ones) make it this one - read it, read it again, digest it and make it your mantra. This GeminiMan! This is the one I meant. It's like Highlander, there can be only one. " | |||
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