FabSwingers.com forum: Is it ok to be attached, not married?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A bit of background on the above topic. Ive been in a relationship for 15 years with a woman 17 years my senior. Since the menopause, what was an active sex life is now completely non existent due to her just not being interested anymore. Ive come on here to appease that issue and find an active sex life again. Am i wrong?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

You're certainly brave having a face pic on if that's the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not wrong at all, seems to be the common reason for most guys playing away on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A bit of background on the above topic. Ive been in a relationship for 15 years with a woman 17 years my senior. Since the menopause, what was an active sex life is now completely non existent due to her just not being interested anymore. Ive come on here to appease that issue and find an active sex life again. Am i wrong?"
only if she doesn't know you're here ,people will judge theirs a wrong and right way to do things ,if you don't mind being judged you're in the right place ,some will meet you some won't

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

Does she know your here?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

How would you feel if you the roles were reversed and she had been on here looking for sex when your issue was medical?

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Depends if she knows you’re on here?

If not, then you’re going behind her back.

Personally If i found my fella was on here behind my back then i’d rip him a new arsehole. But that’s me. You do you.

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By *udolphsRocketMan
over a year ago

Loughborough

I'm aware of couples on here where one half for what ever reason is no longer interested in sex. If your partner is aware you are still wanting sex and is happy for you to look elsewhere, it's no problem.

However if she is not aware then you are technically cheating on her and risk ending the relationship.

It's your choice do you want to be a swinger with consent or a cheat behind her back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you’re going behind her back and she isn’t aware, then yes. You’re cheating (or at least attempting to cheat).

The fact you need to ask shows you probably want reasurence.

Also - very brave having your face up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not wrong at all. Women should give men sex when they ask for it. Relationships are all about sex. If she won't give sex she has no point in life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its probably a bit more complicated than just cheating or being brave having my face up. Theres a 17 year difference in age, im 43 and she is 60. Although we have always said that the age diff would never get in the way, unfortunately that is now not the case, as sad as it is, we have become really good friends rather than lovers. Maybe putting my face up is a hope to getting caught out as i cant bring myself to just move on and end the relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does she know your here?"

See below comment x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk to her about how you are feeling

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Talk to her about how you are feeling"

Thats all been done, the age diff is a very sensitive subject.

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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

If you’ve been in a relationship that long you’re definitely attached as far as I can see. Marriage status doesn’t need to come into it. But essentially if you’re asking if it’s different and people would treat you differently because you’re not married I’d say no. It’s not about marriage it’s about a relationship.

That being said it’s your relationship, whatever is going on in it is down to you and your partner and however you decide to deal with it, if that’s being here is fine, in the sense that we haven’t got a clue who your partner is but at least each of us knows the score and can make our own informed decisions as to whether that’s an issue for us or not.

Lex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Talk to her about how you are feeling

Thats all been done, the age diff is a very sensitive subject."
are you saying you have no feeling for her anymore because if she has feelings for you they will be hurt so friendship or not you will lose her and although some will meet you here your chances will be slimmer ,that's the reality and it can be tough here for guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it's judgemental at all .... different people will have different opinions based on their personal morals and experiences. All that matters is that you are prepared to take responsibility for everthing that happens from your decision to be on here forward. Just don't think you're a totally honest person from that decision onwards ...

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Its probably a bit more complicated than just cheating or being brave having my face up. Theres a 17 year difference in age, im 43 and she is 60. Although we have always said that the age diff would never get in the way, unfortunately that is now not the case, as sad as it is, we have become really good friends rather than lovers. Maybe putting my face up is a hope to getting caught out as i cant bring myself to just move on and end the relationship."

You want someone else to do your dirty work for you?

Tell her now, let her retain her dignity as much as possible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why end it? Talk it through, she may understand your thoughts and may agree to you finding fun elsewhere whilst still remaining a couple... As Bob Hoskin said, its good to talk... Have you yried the sensual route... Touch and eye contact is a very powerful thing... Tantric is beyond everything as the mental sexual stimulation is thru the roof.. Communication, communication, communication... Good luck, and I have been in the same position as you many years ago.. Now I m the older guy and sometimes wonder if my girl will look elsewhere as I get older, but I ve daid right from the start to her.. Dobt cheat on me. Talk to me and I ll either move on quietly or accept she has needs... Our philosophy is we do not have rights over one another, own one another. We are a part of each others life, if we have desires or concerns we discuss them.. Yes she knows Im on here to chat, perv and put up pics...

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

And people wonder why folk have trust issues. It’s because at some point a “loving partner” had been shitting all over them behind their back.

It’s really not cool.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I'd say this is cheating and for me it's not cool. But I appreciate things aren't always black and white. I don't see your situation becoming any better which is why I'd have the conversation now with my partner. If you think that conversation will be difficult it would be nothing compared to the conversation after being caught out on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're certainly brave having a face pic on if that's the case. "

Very brave ,his mrs might be on here too , getting plenty of action ? Maybe that’s why there no action at home ???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Am i cheat though or am i just searching for a way out due to my indecisive nature. I love her to bits, im just not in love with her anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You will never get the answer you are looking for here, there are so many people with lots of different views on the matter.

Personally you need to speak to her and tell her how you feel (I understand talking about this with her is hard) but honesty is the best policy here, do you think it’s acceptable that a lady you have been with for so long, who now finds herself not wanting sex as much or if at all is being treated in this manner? Do you think it’s acceptable to go off having sex with other women while your partner is unaware of what you are up too? Is it fair a woman you have been with for so long to be kicked to the curb because she can’t satisfy you? Ask yourself all of these questions and then rethink this and tell her, I’m sorry to use this phrase but you are going to have to man up and address this one on one, yes you may lose her but you’ve already come to terms with that just by being here and maybe getting caught out.

Danish x

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By *ubenesque.Woman
over a year ago

over by there

I would say it's a technicality, a 15 yr relationship is no different to a marriage. Lots of marriages last less time mine included.

From your profile I guess you are quite well known in Manchester so as you say a face pic is asking to be caught. As your partner is unaware you are looking for sex outside your relationship, would you think it better for her to find out by someone telling her they'd seen you on here or a difficult and painful conversation with the man she loves? I know which I would respect more.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Am i cheat though or am i just searching for a way out due to my indecisive nature. I love her to bits, im just not in love with her anymore."

If you thought that much of her you’d at least be discreet about it. Instead of flaunting your face about like “woohoo here i am Doreen - cheating all over our relationship!”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i cheat though or am i just searching for a way out due to my indecisive nature. I love her to bits, im just not in love with her anymore."

If you’re still in a relationship with her then yes you’re a cheat. You’re also a coward for not breaking up with her yourself, and hoping someone else tells her. It just seems so cruel, if you aren’t in love with her and not happy you should man up and do it yourself. It won’t be fun or pretty but I’d rather my partner told me rather than someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would say it's a technicality, a 15 yr relationship is no different to a marriage. Lots of marriages last less time mine included.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Life and relationships are complicated.

I'm not unsympathetic to people who live in relationships that have no physical intimacy. It must be very difficult to know that the person you love no longer desires you.

What I would say though is don't make her lack of interest in sex and the reason for it public knowledge or discuss her with people you don't know. Imagine the hurt to her and damage to your relationship if she got to read this.

Do you know why she's not interested any more? Is penetration painful, is she too hot, does she think her body is no longer attractive?

In my opinion you need to have one more attempt at talking and explain exactly what the situation is. The truth will hurt her and you but it will hurt her less than this deception.

Good luck to you both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does she know your here?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Decadence may have been the decision made one would imagine I've been in your shoes but I left ,I regret leaving but that's me

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Am i cheat though or am i just searching for a way out due to my indecisive nature. I love her to bits, im just not in love with her anymore."

Yes, you're a cheat with an indecisive nature.

You don't love her, if you did you would be having this conversation with her not us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i cheat though or am i just searching for a way out due to my indecisive nature. I love her to bits, im just not in love with her anymore.

There's really love in this situation. It's pure hate.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

This would be a very different thread if the OP was a female posting this.

I think he is brave admitting it and putting a face pic up.

Good luck OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i cheat though or am i just searching for a way out due to my indecisive nature. I love her to bits, im just not in love with her anymore."

Ah ok if you re not in love with her then do what is right, pay her the respect and talk to her and leave before you cheat...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And people wonder why folk have trust issues. It’s because at some point a “loving partner” had been shitting all over them behind their back.

It’s really not cool."

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Emotional or sexual relations with another woman, without my knowledge, I'd be devastated, and you'd be drop kicked out. You're making excuses instead of supporting her

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"This would be a very different thread if the OP was a female posting this.

I think he is brave admitting it and putting a face pic up.

Good luck OP.

Not from me it wouldn’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good grief man. You're supposedly an adult. Treat her like one instead of acting like a bored teenager, hoping you'll get caught so you don't have to man up to the responsibility of letting her move on.

Get off here, go and sit her down, and have an adult conversation about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Emotional or sexual relations with another woman, without my knowledge, I'd be devastated, and you'd be drop kicked out. You're making excuses instead of supporting her"
you can drop kick ......oh my

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"This would be a very different thread if the OP was a female posting this.

I think he is brave admitting it and putting a face pic up.

Good luck OP.

Brave? Thoughtless and insensitive yes but brave? No.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Am i cheat though or am i just searching for a way out due to my indecisive nature. I love her to bits, im just not in love with her anymore."

You're a cheat and a coward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Talk to her about how you are feeling

Thats all been done, the age diff is a very sensitive subject."

If you've discussed the lack of sex/intimacy then she is aware of how you feel. It sounds like you are not attracted to her. Can't you just brace yourself and tell her that it's over, because as hard as that is, her finding out that you are cheating on her is a thousand times harder to accept after so long together. Just do it for both your sakes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Id just like to thank you for your comments and id like to note that as of this moment i havent cheated on her as i am not that kind of guy and have never cheated on anyone in my life yet. The veris on my profile was from visiting a club for a couple of hours to just take in the atmosphere and see if it was for me or not, having conversation with others at the bar. I came on here to more or less do the same and see whats out there. The relationship is coming to an end unfortunately and the first thing i would do is speak to her if there ever was an opportunity to meet someone else. I genuinely am an honest guy and would never hurt anyone i love.

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By *onygirlieWoman
over a year ago

Leicestershire

FFS. Grow a pair tell her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Id just like to thank you for your comments and id like to note that as of this moment i havent cheated on her as i am not that kind of guy and have never cheated on anyone in my life yet. The veris on my profile was from visiting a club for a couple of hours to just take in the atmosphere and see if it was for me or not, having conversation with others at the bar. I came on here to more or less do the same and see whats out there. The relationship is coming to an end unfortunately and the first thing i would do is speak to her if there ever was an opportunity to meet someone else. I genuinely am an honest guy and would never hurt anyone i love."
good luck mate don't pay any attention to any of this drivel it's your life all I would say is if you like her and you respect her then tell her

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result. "

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

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By *ubenesque.Woman
over a year ago

over by there

Another technicality.

If the roles were reversed would you be happy that she was assessing what else was available before deciding whether to leave you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Id just like to thank you for your comments and id like to note that as of this moment i havent cheated on her as i am not that kind of guy and have never cheated on anyone in my life yet. The veris on my profile was from visiting a club for a couple of hours to just take in the atmosphere and see if it was for me or not, having conversation with others at the bar. I came on here to more or less do the same and see whats out there. The relationship is coming to an end unfortunately and the first thing i would do is speak to her if there ever was an opportunity to meet someone else. I genuinely am an honest guy and would never hurt anyone i love.good luck mate don't pay any attention to any of this drivel it's your life all I would say is if you like her and you respect her then tell her "

Thats the plan, thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes."

Being on fab is different than admiring someone on the streets though...

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

Talk to her.

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london

If it is with your partners consent and mutual, then I see no issue with this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Another technicality.

If the roles were reversed would you be happy that she was assessing what else was available before deciding whether to leave you. "

I totally get that but does that sort of thing generally happen when a relationship is on its way out. People look around for something better, whether it be on here,in a bar, at work etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

Being on fab is different than admiring someone on the streets though..."

How exactly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes."

Not that the thread is about what I do, but I'm open with my other half. We do what we like, with whom we like. We communicate.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

Not that the thread is about what I do, but I'm open with my other half. We do what we like, with whom we like. We communicate. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your not happy end it.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

If you were a female OP this thread would be totally different, in fact people would be queuing up to help. The reality is it is your life, your issue and your guilt to deal with. Fab is a place for allsorts. Don't let the judgemental tone of the forum fool you otherwise. If you are in a relationship and want to cheat then you can bet there will be someone on here that is totally ok with it. Use the site (within the rules) to find your way of play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres worse things

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

"This would be a very different thread if the OP was a female posting this.

I think he is brave admitting it and putting a face pic up.

Good luck OP.

"
There have been other threads in the past. This one seems to be taking an anti-cheating stance. This is usually not the case which can lead to a feeling of disappointment. But i am proud the majority posting here are all aligned with a similar moral code. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Theres worse things"

Thanks.

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london

I was in a long relationship with out sex, towards the end, our relationship was more like brother and sister than lovers, she was not interested in the alternative lifestyle, we spoke about it and both realised that it would be best for each other if we went our own ways,

We still remain very good friends she is now in a new relationship and I am enjoying the lifestyle I have always been interested in with nothing to hide and guilt free conscience.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

Not that the thread is about what I do, but I'm open with my other half. We do what we like, with whom we like. We communicate.

Easy to do if you are both on a level playing field, my partner would never entertain the idea of swinging etc. Thats why its difficult to talk about how i feel and what i want, its quite a selfish relationship on her behalf."
She is selfish for undergoing a natural biological and being unaware of your efforts made to visit a swingers club and to make a profile on fab. I think you lost any credibility with shifting the responsibility onto her!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does she know?

If she finds out will she whoop yo ass? If the answer is yes, then yes you’re wrong x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

Not that the thread is about what I do, but I'm open with my other half. We do what we like, with whom we like. We communicate.

Then end it because cheating is selfish... x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

Being on fab is different than admiring someone on the streets though...

How exactly?"

Is that a serious question?

Alright, for starters I don’t walk around the streets naked or in lingerie, I don’t have my tits out and I don’t speak to random men hoping to fuck them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

Not that the thread is about what I do, but I'm open with my other half. We do what we like, with whom we like. We communicate.

Easy to do if you are both on a level playing field, my partner would never entertain the idea of swinging etc. Thats why its difficult to talk about how i feel and what i want, its quite a selfish relationship on her behalf. She is selfish for undergoing a natural biological and being unaware of your efforts made to visit a swingers club and to make a profile on fab. I think you lost any credibility with shifting the responsibility onto her! "

Selfish as in nothing to do with the biological side of it but in other regards of the relationship, its very one sided. If she doesnt want to do something then there is no compromise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

Not that the thread is about what I do, but I'm open with my other half. We do what we like, with whom we like. We communicate.

Easy to do if you are both on a level playing field, my partner would never entertain the idea of swinging etc. Thats why its difficult to talk about how i feel and what i want, its quite a selfish relationship on her behalf. She is selfish for undergoing a natural biological and being unaware of your efforts made to visit a swingers club and to make a profile on fab. I think you lost any credibility with shifting the responsibility onto her! "

Yup he just lost me there too... was about to launch into a helpful tirade of marriage guidance to try but no x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

Being on fab is different than admiring someone on the streets though...

How exactly?

Is that a serious question?

Alright, for starters I don’t walk around the streets naked or in lingerie, I don’t have my tits out and I don’t speak to random men hoping to fuck them "

No but if you was looking to end a relationship and search for something else, you would come on something like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

Not that the thread is about what I do, but I'm open with my other half. We do what we like, with whom we like. We communicate.

You're original post asked the question "am i wrong?"

You've been told many times yes, yet you still try to justify your actions. Which suggests you don't really want to hear opinions.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The thing is that people enter relationships expecting them to be sexual, thats the unwritten rule of cohabitation and the accepted rule of marriage. If one person for whatever reason no longer wants sex the other is expected to accept that gracefully and continue as before except without sex.

The conditions of the relationship have changed. The person who doesn't want sex isn't expected to try and negotiate that it seems that its expected that the person who does want it should do all the compromising and bring the subject up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

Being on fab is different than admiring someone on the streets though...

How exactly?

Is that a serious question?

Alright, for starters I don’t walk around the streets naked or in lingerie, I don’t have my tits out and I don’t speak to random men hoping to fuck them

No but if you was looking to end a relationship and search for something else, you would come on something like this."

No I’d end the relationship before even considering joining up elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

Not that the thread is about what I do, but I'm open with my other half. We do what we like, with whom we like. We communicate.

Easy to do if you are both on a level playing field, my partner would never entertain the idea of swinging etc. Thats why its difficult to talk about how i feel and what i want, its quite a selfish relationship on her behalf. She is selfish for undergoing a natural biological and being unaware of your efforts made to visit a swingers club and to make a profile on fab. I think you lost any credibility with shifting the responsibility onto her!

Selfish as in nothing to do with the biological side of it but in other regards of the relationship, its very one sided. If she doesnt want to do something then there is no compromise."

If she doesnt want sex for whatever reason thats her choice, not selfish just her decision

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Come off fab and talk to her, you never know she might just agree to you having sex elsewhere.

Of course she might not but at least you can make an educated decision on what you both want to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

Being on fab is different than admiring someone on the streets though...

How exactly?

Is that a serious question?

Alright, for starters I don’t walk around the streets naked or in lingerie, I don’t have my tits out and I don’t speak to random men hoping to fuck them "

You don’t? That’s where I’m going wrong then...

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

Not that the thread is about what I do, but I'm open with my other half. We do what we like, with whom we like. We communicate.

You're original post asked the question "am i wrong?"

You've been told many times yes, yet you still try to justify your actions. Which suggests you don't really want to hear opinions."

Or maybe he is trying to give some context to his situation. By societies values we are all wrong for just being on this site. But only on the crazy world of fab is someone judged for wanting nsa sex on a swingers site. As you can see OP you have been judged. The rest of the site is more realistic to other play situations, and that is where the real fun is found.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been on the other side of a cheat.. and let me tell you it hurts. Alot! And almost ruined me

If my ex would have let me go instead of cheating on me then I would have been able to move on with my life much smoother and faster and wouldn't have to think every man I spoke to was going to lie and cheat.

Im happily married now.. but it took a lot to be able to trust again.

Yes a break up would hurt either way.. but finding out that the love in the relationship isnt right is much better and easier to handle than being humiliated and being made to feel I wasn't good enough.

Your other half is 60? So she still has time to find someone else.

Think of her in this situation too.

Atleast give her the respect of speaking to her and informing her that you maybe looking for sex elsewhere. Give her the option of ending it or accepting it

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

"Am i cheat though or am i just searching for a way out due to my indecisive nature. I love her to bits, im just not in love with her anymore."

Absolutely you're a cheat. If you're looking for sex behind your partner's back you're a cheat. There are sometimes justifications and reasons for that cheating but you're still cheating. If you're doing it hoping you'll get found out and won't have to have a difficult let's end it conversation, you're also a cowardly cheat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG op get out now while you can still walk

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The thing is that people enter relationships expecting them to be sexual, thats the unwritten rule of cohabitation and the accepted rule of marriage. If one person for whatever reason no longer wants sex the other is expected to accept that gracefully and continue as before except without sex

Perfectly written x

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Absolutely. And if you no longer like the terms of what's on offer you bite the bullet and talk about it. You can't complain behind someone's back about something you don't speak up about and give them the chance to compromise on. If he's not said anything to the contrary, she probably thinks that he's happy enough to live with it. Equally, if she finds him on here and says nothing - she's just as much at fault for not saying I saw a swinging site on your computer and was gutted, we need to talk.

Same applies in any situation - with family, at work amongst friends.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Loomup ‘cognative dissonace’ OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know i posted this thread but there is some people on here who are quick to judge when constantly being judged themselves on this site. Im never trying to justify cheating as i have said i would end the relationship if the situation ever occured to meet. Im just simply curious and always have been about a more excitable side to life than what is available to me at the minute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know i posted this thread but there is some people on here who are quick to judge when constantly being judged themselves on this site. Im never trying to justify cheating as i have said i would end the relationship if the situation ever occured to meet. Im just simply curious and always have been about a more excitable side to life than what is available to me at the minute."

You asked for opinions and were given them. Of course people are going to judge, everyone judges people, it’s natural.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You asked for opinions and were given them. Of course people are going to judge, everyone judges people, it’s natural. "

In all honesty I think it's a really awful thing to be doing to a long term partner if you haven't discussed your feelings about the lack of a sex life wuth her. If you've been together 15 years surely she must be an important person to you, and there is much more to your relationship than sex. I don't know if you've discussed looking for a sexual partner with her, but if not and you've gone behind her back it sounds like there's a lack of respect for her. As someone pointed out it is a medical issue.

I suffer with health problems and don't have the energy for sex quite often. I'm not in a relationship, but if i were and we were exclusive I would hope my partner wouldn't cheat at the drop of a hat.

I don't know the situation in detail though, but people will judge if you ask for their opinions on a subject like this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You asked people what they think and they have replied. If you'd asked a different question you would have got different answers.

Lots of married people are cheating on here. They don't try and justify to strangers what and why.

There have been good tips like hide your face pic and be discreet. There are kinder ways to end a relationship than being on a sex site.

"They split up" is much nicer than "see her over there? Her bloke was fucking around behind her back, he made her look like an absolute idiot!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But you have met people and gone to a club? I'm confused now ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You asked for opinions and were given them. Of course people are going to judge, everyone judges people, it’s natural.

I don't know the situation in detail though, but people will judge if you ask for their opinions on a subject like this."

Due to medications and things that have gone on, I have an extremely low sex drive. I never ever thought myself ‘lucky’ that my husband spoke to me, was there for me, and never cheated, joined a site like fab etc to try and meet someone. We got through it together (well it’s still a work in progress but it’s better than before)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Loomup ‘cognative dissonace’ OP"
lol give the man a break he hasn't cheated yet ,he's weighing up his options

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Married or attached, it's the same thing to me. Are you wrong? For me personally it's a yes, no doubt for others you aren't wrong. Have you tried talking or maybe counselling?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i cheat though or am i just searching for a way out due to my indecisive nature. I love her to bits, im just not in love with her anymore.

Yes, you're a cheat with an indecisive nature.

You don't love her, if you did you would be having this conversation with her not us.

I really feel for your poor partner. Airing all this on a forum for us to read is so disrespectful to her.

She deserves better than you OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Loomup ‘cognative dissonace’ OPlol give the man a break he hasn't cheated yet ,he's weighing up his options "

He's met off here and gone to a club! Might be beyond weighing up his options

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only you and your partner can decide what is "wrong" in the context of your relationship, OP. The fact that you are hiding your intentions from her should tell you something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will say this OP. You're braver than most cheating women too, though by a few replies it would seem it's just me. There's many a couple's profile where one or both are cheating without their real partners knowledge. Most here if frequent a club wouldn't raise this question and ask if the person/people they fancy playing with are cheating. They'd just play and then pretend they didn't know.

You won't get your answer here though OP.

I recall not that long ago raising this issue of cheating and it was the women mainly who told me to do one as apparently 'I wasn't walking in their shoes and they might have good reasons'.

Times change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You asked for opinions and were given them. Of course people are going to judge, everyone judges people, it’s natural.

I don't know the situation in detail though, but people will judge if you ask for their opinions on a subject like this.

I'm glad to hear things starting to get better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am i cheat though or am i just searching for a way out due to my indecisive nature. I love her to bits, im just not in love with her anymore."
In that case just leave the relationship become single and enjoy the single life! There’s no point in carrying on something which is fake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you do not have children and you do not want to be with her anymore - leave. The words cake and eat it spring to mind. You seem like you are just waiting for something better to come along. You say you are great friends but friends are loyal and kind to each other. Would you treat a male friend like this? If you cheat you cheat that’s totally your business and no one else’s but I for one am glad your not my friend. Sounds harsh but it’s true. This thread isn’t about cheating it’s more about your indecisive nature and a lack of respect for someone you claim to love.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Loomup ‘cognative dissonace’ OPlol give the man a break he hasn't cheated yet ,he's weighing up his options

He's met off here and gone to a club! Might be beyond weighing up his options "

Havent partaken in any activities, just went to see what it was like, veris are off people i spoke to while there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You posted it as you wanted some attention and you got it

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

So essentially, what you are really looking for is someone to move on to, rather than going it on your own isn’t it?

I’ve heard it many of times, never brave enough to just go it alone on their own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Loomup ‘cognative dissonace’ OPlol give the man a break he hasn't cheated yet ,he's weighing up his options

He's met off here and gone to a club! Might be beyond weighing up his options

Havent partaken in any activities, just went to see what it was like, veris are off people i spoke to while there."

Did you tell her you was meeting others?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it's not OK at all, I'm gonna report you to admin and arrange a forced marriage....

...Wtf?

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

You want someone else to do your dirty work for you?

Tell her now, let her retain her dignity as much as possible. "

This

What an awful way to find out someone no longer wants you

Do the right thing and leave her if sex is the most important thing to you

Miss

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

You want someone else to do your dirty work for you?

Tell her now, let her retain her dignity as much as possible.

This

What an awful way to find out someone no longer wants you

Do the right thing and leave her if sex is the most important thing to you

Miss"

Yup, has messaged me with a face pic attached. If this is a wind up thread, it’s a fucking awful one.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

You want someone else to do your dirty work for you?

Tell her now, let her retain her dignity as much as possible.

This

What an awful way to find out someone no longer wants you

Do the right thing and leave her if sex is the most important thing to you

Miss

Yup, has messaged me with a face pic attached. If this is a wind up thread, it’s a fucking awful one."

Just why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d end it, you obviously aren’t 100% happy or fulfilled. If you don’t you’ll be 10 years down the line living a life of regrets that you didn’t have the balls to speak up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The message was a polite one and just got a lot of abuse back, no need really.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

You want someone else to do your dirty work for you?

Tell her now, let her retain her dignity as much as possible.

This

What an awful way to find out someone no longer wants you

Do the right thing and leave her if sex is the most important thing to you

Miss

Yup, has messaged me with a face pic attached. If this is a wind up thread, it’s a fucking awful one.

Just why?"

...and 15 hours ago he posted on a thread that he doesn’t have a missus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You want someone else to do your dirty work for you?

Tell her now, let her retain her dignity as much as possible.

This

What an awful way to find out someone no longer wants you

Do the right thing and leave her if sex is the most important thing to you

Miss

Yup, has messaged me with a face pic attached. If this is a wind up thread, it’s a fucking awful one.

Just why?

...and 15 hours ago he posted on a thread that he doesn’t have a missus. "

Still waiting for someone to notice his status update aswell

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By *aturedisgracefully!!Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

"The message was a polite one and just got a lot of abuse back, no need really. "

The problem is that not many people respect dishonesty.

You float from being single to being attached.

How can they both be true??

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Same applies in any situation - with family, at work amongst friends. "

How about the person who no longer wants sex initiating a conversation about how a they move forward under the new conditions they want to impose on their relationship?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The message was a polite one and just got a lot of abuse back, no need really.

The problem is that not many people respect dishonesty.

You float from being single to being attached.

How can they both be true??"

Like ive already said this relationship is dead in the water and not going any further but due to circumstances out of my control i cant just walk away as yet. I would like to buts not all black and white. I came on here to ask a genuine question and have quickly found that all these people who have the moral high ground are probably just as bad as i am being made out to be, hiding behind faceless profile pics and probably mot who they make themselves out to be. I know what i have to do now thanks to some of the more genuine comments and when yhat time comes it will be done, like i said i was just on here to get a feel for something i would like to be involved in the future.

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By *aturedisgracefully!!Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

"The message was a polite one and just got a lot of abuse back, no need really.

The problem is that not many people respect dishonesty.

You float from being single to being attached.

How can they both be true??

Do you honestly think that what you are doing is ok?

You comment on others, yet they did not come on here asking a question. You did.

Maybe you just don't like what you are reading?

As we have said to many people, if you don't like the answer maybe it is best to not ask the question in the first place.

You have put yourself in the limelight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You want someone else to do your dirty work for you?

Tell her now, let her retain her dignity as much as possible.

This

What an awful way to find out someone no longer wants you

Do the right thing and leave her if sex is the most important thing to you

Miss

Yup, has messaged me with a face pic attached. If this is a wind up thread, it’s a fucking awful one.

Just why?

...and 15 hours ago he posted on a thread that he doesn’t have a missus.

Still waiting for someone to notice his status update aswell"

Certainly cast a wide net with that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus. If i had a £ for everytime ive seen this topic come up in the forums and still people just never understand that being on here does not mean you do not love your partners. Do whats best for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The message was a polite one and just got a lot of abuse back, no need really.

The problem is that not many people respect dishonesty.

You float from being single to being attached.

How can they both be true??

Do you honestly think that what you are doing is ok?

You comment on others, yet they did not come on here asking a question. You did.

Maybe you just don't like what you are reading?

As we have said to many people, if you don't like the answer maybe it is best to not ask the question in the first place.

You have put yourself in the limelight.

What is it that i am actually doing that isnt ok, other than browsing right now, ever heard of look but dont touch. Think being made out to be some kind of serial cheater is abit over the top tbf. I knew there would be good comments and bad, thats par for the course and if i was nieve enough to have not expected that i wouldnt of posted in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The message was a polite one and just got a lot of abuse back, no need really.

The problem is that not many people respect dishonesty.

You float from being single to being attached.

How can they both be true??

Do you honestly think that what you are doing is ok?

You comment on others, yet they did not come on here asking a question. You did.

Maybe you just don't like what you are reading?

As we have said to many people, if you don't like the answer maybe it is best to not ask the question in the first place.

You have put yourself in the limelight.

Errr. You met 5 days ago opp. You cant say just browsing

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By *aturedisgracefully!!Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

"Jesus. If i had a £ for everytime ive seen this topic come up in the forums and still people just never understand that being on here does not mean you do not love your partners. Do whats best for you."

Really?

We would have thought being honest to the person you love is an essential part of that relationship.

Do what's best for you by all means, but at least have the bottle to be honest about it to the person you profess to love.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If you read earlier posts you will see, i went to a club to see if its for me and i cgatted to some people at the bar who verified me genuine, never even got undressed.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Am i cheat though or am i just searching for a way out due to my indecisive nature. I love her to bits, im just not in love with her anymore."

I'm going to be blunt, you're being a spineless coward, do the decent thing and split up with her, at least let her keep her pride. Maybe then she can find someone who appreciates her.

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By *aturedisgracefully!!Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

"If you read earlier posts you will see, i went to a club to see if its for me and i cgatted to some people at the bar who verified me genuine, never even got undressed."

Hate to ask, but did your partner know you went?

How would she feel if she knew?

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By *aturedisgracefully!!Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

"Am i cheat though or am i just searching for a way out due to my indecisive nature. I love her to bits, im just not in love with her anymore.

I'm going to be blunt, you're being a spineless coward, do the decent thing and split up with her, at least let her keep her pride. Maybe then she can find someone who appreciates her. "

Spot on.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"If you read earlier posts you will see, i went to a club to see if its for me and i cgatted to some people at the bar who verified me genuine, never even got undressed."

Also, regarding your status, you're looking for a kik group for singles, you're not single. Trying to get sex through deception is wrong, at least be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The message was a polite one and just got a lot of abuse back, no need really. "

I've heard that a lot this morning. Abusive women.

Always report abusive messages.

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By *aturedisgracefully!!Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

"The message was a polite one and just got a lot of abuse back, no need really.

I've heard that a lot this morning. Abusive women.

Always report abusive messages. "

We agree.

There is a massive difference between honesty and abusive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The message was a polite one and just got a lot of abuse back, no need really.

I've heard that a lot this morning. Abusive women.

Always report abusive messages.

We agree.

There is a massive difference between honesty and abusive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people will treat you with disdain over your predicament, some won't care and some will sympathise with you.

It's your life, you do what pleases you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people will treat you with disdain over your predicament, some won't care and some will sympathise with you.

It's your life, you do what pleases you.

I find this life in general and you know what your right x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody is saying that they don’t love their parents, I just think there is a lack of respect.

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london

"Am i cheat though or am i just searching for a way out due to my indecisive nature. I love her to bits, im just not in love with her anymore.

I'm going to be blunt, you're being a spineless coward, do the decent thing and split up with her, at least let her keep her pride. Maybe then she can be with some appreciates her.

there are two types of love in this world I loved my ex partner to bits after being in a Twenty year relationship. In a way I suppose I still do, I only ever wanted her to be happy and treated like the princess she was.

However our love was no longer sexual and became more of a friendship. Do the right thing and speak to your partner tell her how you feel, if you go your own ways it may hurt at first but in time will heal and be the best for both of you.

You only have one life don’t travel through it with feelings of doubt,

be happy and content with who you are and be with someone your happy to cuddle up to at night and wake up next to in the morning staring at their radiant sleeping face.

Spot on."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody is saying that they don’t love their parents, I just think there is a lack of respect. "

*opps, I meant partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody is saying that they don’t love their parents, I just think there is a lack of respect.

*opps, I meant partners.

Ha ha. I did have a laugh when i saw it.

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By *irkydirkyMan
over a year ago

kells

100% wrong... no grey area

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

No relationship is perfect.

However, if you cannot resolve the situation, I don't think cheating is the answer.

That applies to both sexes.

My first marriage went wrong rather rapidly. I ended it,nicely, as soon as I realised that it was dead in the water. You can still be friends but can both get on with your lives.

My relationship now is very different. If I lost all interest in sex, I would still love Cal and he me. However, I would be happy for him to seek sex elsewhere, should he choose to do so.

We see sex separately to love, but many women in particular don't.

You can do as you like, many are happy to meet attached men. Though you also have to accept that lots will judge you.

Nita

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By *ovegames42Man
over a year ago

london

Nobody is saying that they don’t love their parents, I just think there is a lack of respect.

*opps, I meant partners.

Isn’t spell check a pain in the back side LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God ive had a lot of stick from private messages and its not even my post.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Did this eventuality not occur to you 15 years ago when you embarked on the relationship ?

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

[Removed by poster at 31/03/19 21:41:23]

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By *aturedisgracefully!!Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

"God ive had a lot of stick from private messages and its not even my post.

Some people may be offended that you support dishonesty.

You think that might be why??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/04/19 22:34:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

In an earlier thread you claimed the relationship had ended

Menopause isn’t something we decide ends female sex drive - it’s something we have little control over. You seem to have simply dismissed your partner because she no longer meets your requirements... I think she deserves a little more respect than you appear to give her credit for!

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By *irkydirkyMan
over a year ago

kells

"You're not quite as honest as you make out. You're here behind her back, regardless of the fact you've not had sex with anyone as a result.

Do you ever look at a guy on the street and think fuck yeah?

We all look but dont touch sometimes.

Not that the thread is about what I do, but I'm open with my other half. We do what we like, with whom we like. We communicate.

Ah I see, so you’ve seen what’s out there and you want a piece of the action.. You could’ve just said that without the cock n bull story

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He said this relationship has ended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The message was a polite one and just got a lot of abuse back, no need really.

The problem is that not many people respect dishonesty.

You float from being single to being attached.

How can they both be true??

Slagging off other site users isn't a good way of making friends. I suspect you may have been added to a few blocked lists by now.

You've asked a question and have been given a pretty unanimous answer and yet your responses suggest that you were perhaps expecting everyone to say 'no, nothing wrong with that at all'

If I were you, I'd stop digging.

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By *irkydirkyMan
over a year ago

kells

"He said this relationship has ended. "

Just hasn’t gotten round to letting the other half know yet... convenient

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe try talking to her rather than a bunch of people on a forum, after all its her you care about....isn't it?

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Maybe putting my face up is a hope to getting caught out as i cant bring myself to just move on and end the relationship."

If she sees your latest meet veri, I'm sure she will end the relationship for you, thus taking the whole issue out of your hands. You won't have to worry about anything then.

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

You're the only one who can judge that but here are a few reasons why I think it's not good.

Agency and consent.

She has none.

By keeping this secret you are preventing her from knowing something that affects her life and thereby preventing her from making decisions on it.

Guilt

Is powerful and by hiding this action you will feel guilt but not be able to express it.

You'll maybe feel resentment that you do this because of her lowered libido and subtly change your approach to/outlook on your relationship.

You could catch an sti

Is it guilt, finance, habit ,skewed loyalty, selfishness, greed that motivates you to stay and lie.

I went through menopause and got medical help to deal with libido issues but I also had depression because I felt I was all the negative things they put out about older women and I lost confidence in myself.

Here's what I think you should be asking yourself.

Do I still love her

Do I care more about sex than being with her.

Could I give up sex

Do I respect her?

**********************************

You can stay and not cheat.

You can work with her (if she wants) to help find a solution to the libido loss

You could discuss an open relationship or allowing hookups only.

You could separate as you no longer can maintain the relationship.

All of these are better than lying and cheating.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

You're the only one who can judge that but here are a few reasons why I think it's not good.

Agency and consent.

She has none.

By keeping this secret you are preventing her from knowing something that affects her life and thereby preventing her from making decisions on it.

Guilt

Is powerful and by hiding this action you will feel guilt but not be able to express it.

You'll maybe feel resentment that you do this because of her lowered libido and subtly change your approach to/outlook on your relationship.

You could catch an sti

Is it guilt, finance, habit ,skewed loyalty, selfishness, greed that motivates you to stay and lie.

Here's what I think you should be asking yourself.

Do I still love her

Do I care more about sex than being with her.

Could I give up sex

Do I respect her?

**********************************

You can stay and not cheat.

You can work with her (if she wants) to help find a solution to the libido loss

You could discuss an open relationship or allowing hookups only.

You could separate as you no longer can maintain the relationship.

All of these are better than lying and cheating.

Very well put xx

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By *aturedisgracefully!!Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

You're the only one who can judge that but here are a few reasons why I think it's not good.

Agency and consent.

She has none.

By keeping this secret you are preventing her from knowing something that affects her life and thereby preventing her from making decisions on it.

Guilt

Is powerful and by hiding this action you will feel guilt but not be able to express it.

You'll maybe feel resentment that you do this because of her lowered libido and subtly change your approach to/outlook on your relationship.

You could catch an sti

Is it guilt, finance, habit ,skewed loyalty, selfishness, greed that motivates you to stay and lie.

Here's what I think you should be asking yourself.

Do I still love her

Do I care more about sex than being with her.

Could I give up sex

Do I respect her?

**********************************

You can stay and not cheat.

You can work with her (if she wants) to help find a solution to the libido loss

You could discuss an open relationship or allowing hookups only.

You could separate as you no longer can maintain the relationship.

All of these are better than lying and cheating.

Agree totally.

However some people think there is nothing wrong in lying and cheating.

Until the roles are reversed and it happens to them of course...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ouch. What you seem to be saying is that sex defines your relationship with her?

Put it another way, if an accident meant that you or she couldn't have sex would either of you just dump the relationship? The answer really tells you if you are in a committed relationship or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're the only one who can judge that but here are a few reasons why I think it's not good.

Agency and consent.

She has none.

By keeping this secret you are preventing her from knowing something that affects her life and thereby preventing her from making decisions on it.

Guilt

Is powerful and by hiding this action you will feel guilt but not be able to express it.

You'll maybe feel resentment that you do this because of her lowered libido and subtly change your approach to/outlook on your relationship.

You could catch an sti

Is it guilt, finance, habit ,skewed loyalty, selfishness, greed that motivates you to stay and lie.

Here's what I think you should be asking yourself.

Do I still love her

Do I care more about sex than being with her.

Could I give up sex

Do I respect her?

**********************************

You can stay and not cheat.

You can work with her (if she wants) to help find a solution to the libido loss

You could discuss an open relationship or allowing hookups only.

You could separate as you no longer can maintain the relationship.

All of these are better than lying and cheating.

I love this post. Can you just cut and paste it to every thread from someone looking for approval for their cheating?

Shit happens in long term relationships, your sex life wont always be fulfilling, you’re probably not fulfilling some major part of what your partner wants from a relationship. These two things are probably related. Going off behind their back to fuck random strangers is never going to make it better. Realising that there are a wealth of things that go into making a relationship, of which sex is just one, will probably serve you better. Are you REALLY willing to give up everything else, and make a huge financial sacrifice, because you’re not getting your cock sucked twice a week? Or is an unsatisfying sex life actually the smaller loss?

Thousands and thousands of pounds lost to equity and pension splits, solicitors, divorce courts and maintenance payments if you end the relationship or your cheating gets discovered. Loss of friends, loss of social status, loss of home. Man, those strangers had better be sucking your dick REALLY well..

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By *angerous123Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Not judging because Ive been there myself but in my experience this will end in tears

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

This is why I shall forever be single, the complete lack of respect and disregard some people show others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're the only one who can judge that but here are a few reasons why I think it's not good.

Agency and consent.

She has none.

By keeping this secret you are preventing her from knowing something that affects her life and thereby preventing her from making decisions on it.

Guilt

Is powerful and by hiding this action you will feel guilt but not be able to express it.

You'll maybe feel resentment that you do this because of her lowered libido and subtly change your approach to/outlook on your relationship.

You could catch an sti

Is it guilt, finance, habit ,skewed loyalty, selfishness, greed that motivates you to stay and lie.

Here's what I think you should be asking yourself.

Do I still love her

Do I care more about sex than being with her.

Could I give up sex

Do I respect her?

**********************************

You can stay and not cheat.

You can work with her (if she wants) to help find a solution to the libido loss

You could discuss an open relationship or allowing hookups only.

You could separate as you no longer can maintain the relationship.

All of these are better than lying and cheating.

I love this post. Can you just cut and paste it to every thread from someone looking for approval for their cheating?

Your last paragraph is probably why many do cheat. Divorce and losing everything you saved for isn't worth the hassle.

Easier to stay together but fuck around quietly.

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By *he Devils Daughter!Woman
over a year ago

some where in yorkshire

Every woman goes through different emotions symptoms due to the menopause and it can't be helped but op u need to sit her down talk to her and e xplain how it's making u feel and if it can't be solved which I think u have already made ur mind up end it as its not fair on either of u especially not her.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"Every woman goes through different emotions symptoms due to the menopause and it can't be helped but op u need to sit her down talk to her and e xplain how it's making u feel and if it can't be solved which I think u have already made ur mind up end it as its not fair on either of u especially not her. "

He’s ended their relationship and admitted to feeling jealous of a woman who he has not met but spoken to here, that went to a club on her own.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

He’s ended their relationship and admitted to feeling jealous of a woman who he has not met but spoken to here, that went to a club on her own."

He's actually ended it with her now? Not just decided it's over and not told her?

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

He’s ended their relationship and admitted to feeling jealous of a woman who he has not met but spoken to here, that went to a club on her own.

He's actually ended it with her now? Not just decided it's over and not told her? "

That’s what he’s said in another thread and this one I think.

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By *he Devils Daughter!Woman
over a year ago

some where in yorkshire

He’s ended their relationship and admitted to feeling jealous of a woman who he has not met but spoken to here, that went to a club on her own."

My bad sorry I didn't read the rest of the thread!

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

He’s ended their relationship and admitted to feeling jealous of a woman who he has not met but spoken to here, that went to a club on her own.

He's actually ended it with her now? Not just decided it's over and not told her?

That’s what he’s said in another thread and this one I think."

Oh, I thought he just stated that the relationship wasn't going anywhere but not that he'd actually told her and left her.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just to clarify, the relationship has ended.

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By *uriousTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"Just to clarify, the relationship has ended."

Sorry to hear that, but swinging is about trust, so personally speaking I can’t tolerate cheating

I’m with a younger girl for both physical & emotional reasons. I hope when my dick eventually goes limp that she’s nice enough to talk to me and become another couples Unicorn, where she can have physical fun but hopefully never leave me.

Some people see the elder in an age gap relationship as lucky or mucky, but the harsh reality is we are giving away the BEST years of our life to someone in the hope they will stay with us as we age!

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

[Removed by poster at 29/04/19 13:01:54]

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