FabSwingers.com forum: Is sex a dying art in Marriage

By *artin Penwald OP Man
over a year ago

Strabane

Hi is it a common thing for the wife to loose the driue, tie lust and mischievous sex that use to happen before and at the start of married life

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon

Happens to men too.

You still putting the effort in, or just on here moaning?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think so in our case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say marriage is a dying practice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Happens to men too.

You still putting the effort in, or just on here moaning? "
he's asking about the wife though

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

"Hi is it a common thing for the wife to loose the driue, tie lust and mischievous sex that use to happen before and at the start of married life"

Not in my experience

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By *eorge n DragonCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire

Personally no. Been together 14 years and still nothing lost as you say. Sex is as great as day one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be. Lack of time together other things going on, kids in the way. Then the longer you leave it the harder it gets to actually feel the need

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By *emisis123Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Smash????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It can be. Lack of time together other things going on, kids in the way. Then the longer you leave it the harder it gets to actually feel the need "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It did with my previous partner but my husband knows me inside out and knows what I want and when so definitely not a problem for us x MrsC x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hubby and I still act like naughty teenagers. Dress up, roleplay, quickies and drives out In the car just to park up and fuck. We are both totally open with each other and honest. The fact we still find each other incredibly sexy and turn each other on is testimony to that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi is it a common thing for the wife to loose the driue, tie lust and mischievous sex that use to happen before and at the start of married life"

Nope.

The husband can also lose interest.

There will be an underlying issue. Usually speaking to your partner helps.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Probably life gets in the way the usual things bills kids work health. I think the bottom line is if you don't put the time and effort in just for each other then you drift apart. Making time for each other and keeping connected is key. Easier said than done when the going gets tough but essential.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been married over 32 years. Sex better than ever, so.....

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By *artin Penwald OP Man
over a year ago

Strabane

I certainly do. I take her away, buy toys for her and me, buy outfits. Try and set up nites with the fire on. Touch pat kiss etc during the day but nothing in return. If there is sum fun it usually just wham bam.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not great in mine, but the rot set in many years ago there and she became less interested for a number of reasons - I'm pleased its going great for so many of you on here though - start the Saturday with a positive! Have a good day all!

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By *artin Penwald OP Man
over a year ago

Strabane

Thats fantastic guys. I so wld love that. Nw a days I have to fight with her n the phone all the time or else sleeping. Im personally hornier than ever.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

"I certainly do. I take her away, buy toys for her and me, buy outfits. Try and set up nites with the fire on. Touch pat kiss etc during the day but nothing in return. If there is sum fun it usually just wham bam."

Have you ever thought you might not like you anymore.

Instead of pestering her for sex all the time maybe try being her friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you ever thought you might not like you anymore.

Instead of pestering her for sex all the time maybe try being her friend.

My sex drive is so low and the best thing my husband ever did was understand why, and was there for me. Never once tried to get me to have sex, it would turn me off even more. He waited until I would want it. And now we have sex more than we have in the past three years.

I would find I was under pressure if my husband bought me toys, outfits etc because he was horny.

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By *artin Penwald OP Man
over a year ago

Strabane

I do that too, I dont go anywhere unless shes with me. I buy her silly things. Chat to her all the time. Do all the housework. And just be there. I turned dwn a gd job just to be here every evening and wkend.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Could be she just doesn't want you any more.

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By *omesticated_VixenWoman
over a year ago

sw London

Not in our marriage if anything it gets better and better x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not in our marriage if anything it gets better and better x"

Same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi is it a common thing for the wife to loose the driue, tie lust and mischievous sex that use to happen before and at the start of married life"

Its gone on for as long as marriage has people get horny for more than whats at home its how some people are.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I do that too, I dont go anywhere unless shes with me. I buy her silly things. Chat to her all the time. Do all the housework. And just be there. I turned dwn a gd job just to be here every evening and wkend. "

The situation is obviously making you unhappy and you seem to have tried all sorts of things.

Would your wife agree to couples counselling or would she see her gp?

It must be a lonely life if your partner rejects intimacy, I hope you can sort things out.

Ps if you use the reply and quote button we know who you're replying to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Search "bedroom" on google or reddit. Theres many people in similar situations

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It can be. Lack of time together other things going on, kids in the way. Then the longer you leave it the harder it gets to actually feel the need "

This is the big one unfortunately ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is always the wife's problem or fault ?

Maybe the man is not doing it right .

Or not pulling his weight and expecting the wife to do it all.

Not that I know nothing about this being single

No offense intended. Just an opinion.

But the 'attached man' always says it's the wife's fault . I just can't see it is 100% of the time .

Apologies if I spoke out of turn.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why is always the wife's problem or fault ?

Maybe the man is not doing it right .

Or not pulling his weight and expecting the wife to do it all.

Not that I know nothing about this being single

No offense intended. Just an opinion.

But the 'attached man' always says it's the wife's fault . I just can't see it is 100% of the time .

Apologies if I spoke out of turn.

He's saying his wife has lost interest in sex and that he's tried a lot of things to rekindle it. I don't think he's blaming her. I do think a few people have implied that her lack of interest is his fault though.

These things are rarely straightforward and I doubt any of us can give a solution, especially as we only know one side of the story.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is always the wife's problem or fault ?

Maybe the man is not doing it right .

Or not pulling his weight and expecting the wife to do it all.

Not that I know nothing about this being single

No offense intended. Just an opinion.

But the 'attached man' always says it's the wife's fault . I just can't see it is 100% of the time .

Apologies if I spoke out of turn.

These things are rarely straightforward and I doubt any of us can give a solution, especially as we only know one side of the story."

I apologise if I spoke wrongly .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why is always the wife's problem or fault ?

Maybe the man is not doing it right .

Or not pulling his weight and expecting the wife to do it all.

Not that I know nothing about this being single

No offense intended. Just an opinion.

But the 'attached man' always says it's the wife's fault . I just can't see it is 100% of the time .

Apologies if I spoke out of turn.

These things are rarely straightforward and I doubt any of us can give a solution, especially as we only know one side of the story.

I apologise if I spoke wrongly ."

There's no need to apologise. You expressed an opinion and I was expressing mine. It's good to talk and discuss.

You're entitled to disagree with me, in fact I think its a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be rekindled with lots of open, deep communication about wants and needs as well as being willing to own one’s part of the current problems. Then it needs a willingness to get out of the rut and do something different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is always the wife's problem or fault ?

Maybe the man is not doing it right .

Or not pulling his weight and expecting the wife to do it all.

Not that I know nothing about this being single

No offense intended. Just an opinion.

But the 'attached man' always says it's the wife's fault . I just can't see it is 100% of the time .

Apologies if I spoke out of turn.

These things are rarely straightforward and I doubt any of us can give a solution, especially as we only know one side of the story.

I apologise if I spoke wrongly .

There's no need to apologise. You expressed an opinion and I was expressing mine. It's good to talk and discuss.

You're entitled to disagree with me, in fact I think its a good thing."

Thank you .

And yes everybody has a right to an opinion.

Tolerance of each other good x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Probably life gets in the way the usual things bills kids work health. I think the bottom line is if you don't put the time and effort in just for each other then you drift apart. Making time for each other and keeping connected is key. Easier said than done when the going gets tough but essential."

Couldn’t have put it better myself... when I was married each day that went passed I loved and lusted him more and more as he took me for granted more and more...

The last year of it, I was made to feel like I should be on a register with his disdainful look and swatting me away like I was a wasp so yeah... it’s life, people change, life happens...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It can be rekindled with lots of open, deep communication about wants and needs as well as being willing to own one’s part of the current problems. Then it needs a willingness to get out of the rut and do something different

Completely agree, it’s like a tug of war where you’re not pulling in the same direction... eventually it snaps x

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Hi is it a common thing for the wife to loose the driue, tie lust and mischievous sex that use to happen before and at the start of married life"

Probably if you don't put the same effort in that you did when you were dating her.

Leaving all the housework and day to day household chores to her won't put her in the mood.

Put the effort in and reap the rewards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why is always the wife's problem or fault ?

Maybe the man is not doing it right .

Or not pulling his weight and expecting the wife to do it all.

Not that I know nothing about this being single

No offense intended. Just an opinion.

But the 'attached man' always says it's the wife's fault . I just can't see it is 100% of the time .

Apologies if I spoke out of turn.

These things are rarely straightforward and I doubt any of us can give a solution, especially as we only know one side of the story.

I apologise if I spoke wrongly .

There's no need to apologise. You expressed an opinion and I was expressing mine. It's good to talk and discuss.

You're entitled to disagree with me, in fact I think its a good thing.

Thank you .

And yes everybody has a right to an opinion.

Tolerance of each other good x

Which I did not show to the op about his question.

Again I apoligise. I should have not said nothing . I showed him no tolerance at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi is it a common thing for the wife to loose the driue, tie lust and mischievous sex that use to happen before and at the start of married life

Probably if you don't put the same effort in that you did when you were dating her.

Leaving all the housework and day to day household chores to her won't put her in the mood.

Put the effort in and reap the rewards"

It’s not always as simple as that. The underlying causes can be complex, multiple and varied. Understanding them is the only way to find resolution, if indeed resolution is possible. If the love has gone I’m not sure that can be rekindled though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There could be a hundred reasons why, typically, she might be tired, depressed or generally bored of your life together. Some thing else might be missing like her career happiness or lack of friends, family, desire to be more than she is. She might (if you are doing all the house work and giving her all she needs emotionally like you say) not be looking at you like a man anymore, step up your fashion and effort in getting ready, change your hair slightly and your cologne, remind her you’re a catch. That doesn’t mean stray but make an effort that you know will turn heads so she can see that. Change it up at home start a new hobby together even if it’s just the gym or dancing is fantastic at getting you both horny together because you have to pay attention to each other’s every move with lots of eye contact, even ballroom can achieve this. Sit down with her and ask her out of ten how happy she is with different aspects of life, like, your relationship , being a mum, a daughter, your love life, work. Say you did something similar online or at work and you wondered what her honest answers would be. Like already said, I would concentrate on her happiness for a while and not pressure about the sex, make sure she’s happy first fully and she might surprise. Hoping you’re not one of them douches here just wanting people to say it’s ok for you to cheat, it never is,there’s counselling and even introducing her to this or an open relationship there’s divorce and you both finding someone that’s compatible, good luck

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By *-4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

Belfast

Wow - you sound like the perfect partner!

(Apart from the bit where you’re moaning to whoever will listen about your frigid wife and looking to fuck randoms behind her back)

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

"It did with my previous partner but my husband knows me inside out and knows what I want and when so definitely not a problem for us x MrsC x

And this is a key answer...

If your wife isn't interested in sex, OP, you need to look at why not. It could be health reasons, stress - or maybe something in your relationship is causing her to lose her sex drive.

Of course, it's easier and quicker to blame marriage as an institution or your wife as an individual.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Judging by the amount of men and women on here in relationships it happens a lot op.

I don't think it would help your cause if she knew you were on fab though,we can't tell you why she has gone off sex.It could be a number of things,the key is to talk to her and listen

Good luck

Miss

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"Hi is it a common thing for the wife to loose the driue, tie lust and mischievous sex that use to happen before and at the start of married life"

She has the house,kids,your money why would she want to touch you again.

Seen to many relationship go that way, that why I decided along time ago I ain't getting married, it's a outmoded concept these days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife has no problems wanting sex , wants it most day but it’s me who doesn’t some nights,

When I get up for work at 3am then do a 14hr day go home have food , a shower then a chill for an hour then bed for just 5 hours I just want to sleep , but we make up for it at weekends , had sexy fun last night and this morning x

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

"Hi is it a common thing for the wife to loose the driue, tie lust and mischievous sex that use to happen before and at the start of married life"

It shouldn’t be, just try new things and enjoy eachother, work on keeping close to the person you make a commitment to

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By *artin Penwald OP Man
over a year ago

Strabane

Im seeing this with a number of friends too. She promised me this wld never happen. And comments n others nt doing things together!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi is it a common thing for the wife to loose the driue, tie lust and mischievous sex that use to happen before and at the start of married life"

Yes, more so in women than men (hence lesbian bed death)

Sex forms quite strong bonds in the male brain. So at the begining of a relationship women naturally engage in sex more but this becomes less important onxe the bond is formed

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By *artin Penwald OP Man
over a year ago

Strabane

The situation is obviously making you unhappy and you seem to have tried all sorts of things.

Would your wife agree to couples counselling or would she see her gp?

It must be a lonely life if your partner rejects intimacy, I hope you can sort things out.

Ps if you use the reply and quote button we know who you're replying to."

it is that for sure.

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By *artin Penwald OP Man
over a year ago

Strabane

"Hi is it a common thing for the wife to loose the driue, tie lust and mischievous sex that use to happen before and at the start of married life

Yes, more so in women than men (hence lesbian bed death)

That sounds about rite. We did promise ourselves it wouldnt happen!

Sex forms quite strong bonds in the male brain. So at the begining of a relationship women naturally engage in sex more but this becomes less important onxe the bond is formed"

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By *omesticated_VixenWoman
over a year ago

sw London

It hasn’t for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sex drive is higher than it has ever been. My husband struggles to cope.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife and I have 5 kids between us, oldest is at university, and we have 4 at home all under 9 years old.

We both have careers, and all the mundane shit that grown ups have to deal with.

But every moment we can snatch is intense, the trick is we do everything possible that needs doing Monday to Friday, then when the weekend comes and the kids go to our exes for the weekend, it's on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only if you let it..stay spontaneous..stay funny..I think for those that lose it it's often because they feel they no longer need to chase..they re in the bag so to speak..

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