FabSwingers.com forum: Things you shouldn’t hear a gynaecologist say

By *olgate OP Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

What’s the worst and most in appropriate thing a gynaecologist might say

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

Up periscope!

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By *cousesubsallyWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere out there

You look familiar...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FAF

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I'll make you squirt!

Does this turn you on... I'll try harder

Assume the position

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Nice vagazzle...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"What’s the worst and most in appropriate thing a gynaecologist might say"

O.M.G it looks EXACTLY like Dobby .....

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

open wide

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Brace yourself...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just going to get a bigger speculum....

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Oops wrong hole

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I'm up to my elbow but there's no sign of that cucumber as yet...

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

It's bring your child to work day. You don't mind if they take a look!

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By *xperimental Couple69Couple
over a year ago

Northern

"You look familiar..."

Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pheeew, what the fucks that smell !!!

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

Im a docter not a miner.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Hey, there’s an echo in here .... ECHOOOOOO”

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By *nigma73Couple
over a year ago

Exeter

You taste great

I think I’ve lost my watch

I’m so horny right now

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington

You could of had shave

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I'm just going to brush away these cobwebs...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mmmmmmmm!!!

At first glance, is not what you expect to hear!!

Really quite uncomfortable

Jo.Xx

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By *xperimental Couple69Couple
over a year ago

Northern

"Mmmmmmmm!!!

At first glance, is not what you expect to hear!!

Really quite uncomfortable

Jo.Xx "

Bet it looks nice x

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm sure I was wearing my mum's signet ring today

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

I do decorating on the side... I could decorate your hallway thru your letterbox....

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

oh fuck, my ring slipped off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eeeewwwww

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

"Eeeewwwww"

Lol...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pass me a torch.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

HELLO... hello.. hello...IS THERE ANYBODY IN THERE

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By *sh6866Man
over a year ago

halifax

That reminds me...cheese toasties for tea tonight......

Sorry....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God I wish I was blind.

And I am gay now

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Waffles for breakfast anyone

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By *heffmMan
over a year ago

sheffield

I'm gonna need wellies

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By *layfulpairsxCouple
over a year ago

Southend

Genuinely, a very highly respected gynaecologist from North London area once said to me at a dinner my company was sponsoring (I sold gynaecological endoscopes at the time), I know I've got a good bedside manner as my private patients rarely need me to use lube before a digital examination... Eyyyyeeeew.

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By *olgate OP Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

When I said open wide I didn’t mean that wide

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By *unny ValentineCouple
over a year ago

Crewe

wow, listen to the echo - echo - echo - echo!

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By *ream3.14159Man
over a year ago

Here & there

I can tell you have Trimethylaminuria before even examining you

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

Nurse 'can you tie the plank to my back please' , 'I don't want to fall in like last time.'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK we've a new test to run today. Nurse pass me the ping pong balls please and put the target mat down on the floor.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Nurse, pass me the canary I'm going in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can lip read.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t believe I actually got my whole head in here!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Up periscope!"

Dive, dive, dive!

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

I'm on the sex offenders register

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By *eriousGuyABCMan
over a year ago

( WEST OF ) Chippenham ish

Ah, reminds me of when I saw the Beatles in Liverpool back in the 60's

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By *edbath 5Man
over a year ago

london

Nom nom nom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The same thing twice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nurse this pussy needs defibrillator

shoulda gone to Specsavers

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By *ooliganMan
over a year ago

Preston

"Don't worry, it's not unusual to get aroused during this procedure..."

"I'm not aroused..."

"I meant me."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

Pass the whipped cream

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What’s the worst and most in appropriate thing a gynaecologist might say"
I've gotta take this this this and this out now

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

Ooh I’ve found a watch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wondered where I’d left my watch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can save the fisherman but I'm afraid weve lost the boat

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By *ophleeCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

Sorry I'd rather not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/03/19 12:33:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if I can see your tonsils from here

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Women just need to learn to tolerate pain better. Nurse, no more morphine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just killed the actual gynaecologist .

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Oh, there's no medical need for this. I just thought you might like it.

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

God love that's had some hammer.

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By *ames_dieselMan
over a year ago

London

Must rip out my fireplace...

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Which is best for live video feeds? Should I upload this to Facebook or YouTube?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're deaf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anyone know your here.....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you mind if my colleague watches while I film this for a presentation?"

This sentence was actually said to me by a GP.

Yes I do fucking mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Do you mind if my colleague watches while I film this for a presentation?"

This sentence was actually said to me by a GP.

Yes I do fucking mind.

"
students have to learn somehow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/03/19 14:19:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stand back I’m going in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Do you mind if my colleague watches while I film this for a presentation?"

This sentence was actually said to me by a GP.

Yes I do fucking mind.

students have to learn somehow

True. Although I didn't object when they both tossed me off. Must have been a new fangled medical test.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

My doctor used to ask “how’s the bees” as he was doing my smears

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooohhh look, an old condom. Hang on, theres another one.

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By *herealdavidjonesMan
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

I’m out of lube, can. I use my mouth?

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By *lddickMan
over a year ago

Worcester

I normally paper my front room through the letterbox

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By *irth.Minge.FireMan
over a year ago

Seen in far off places

Chilli sauce, salad?...

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By *lddickMan
over a year ago

Worcester

Flipping heck it's bigger than the Albert Hall

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By *rjimMan
over a year ago

nr bristol

[Removed by poster at 29/03/19 14:54:42]

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

Good to see you again, I knew I lost my watch somewhere

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By *rjimMan
over a year ago

nr bristol

Well Miss XXXX

I have checked your breasts, done the internal and taken a smear and every looks just fine to me.

Unfortunately, I am a porter.

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

HELLO.... hello.... helllloooooo

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

I've not actually done this before but don't worry I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing. I've watched a video of it on You Tube....

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By *iavelmanMan
over a year ago

Worcester

Nurse hold my ankles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think she’s gonna blow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

HELLlllloooooooooooo

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By *lddickMan
over a year ago

Worcester

Is that a Japanese soldier i can see

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

Mmmm that’s where I put my cheese sandwich

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

"I've not actually done this before but don't worry I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing. I've watched a video of it on You Tube...."

I say this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put my stash up there last time you were in I need it back .....deep breaths

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

You could have made him wear a condom last night knowing you were coming here

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By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

the vale

Nurse could you pass my harness I may fall in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your eyesight is fine

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

What's that noise?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you may have verookas

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

What's for tea tonight mum

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

This reminds me of a film I once watched..... The Descent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No ma'am you can't get wet rot

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By *uzukiNo1Woman
over a year ago

Rhyl

Don't cough it will come out...

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By *layfull pairingCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

That looks like it's seen a lot of action

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By *ifty69Man
over a year ago

north tyneside

I’ll have to numb you, numb,numb,numb,numb ,mmm

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By *eriousGuyABCMan
over a year ago

( WEST OF ) Chippenham ish

""Do you mind if my colleague watches while I film this for a presentation?"

This sentence was actually said to me by a GP.

Yes I do fucking mind.

It's like when I got my vasectomy done, they had some student doctors in watching, both sexes, luckily I'm not the shy sort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you want your labia well done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh look I have just found out what happened to your last gynaecologist - here he is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you want bbq or hot chilli sauce?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

open wide im cummin in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm cumming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for coming back and allowing me to search for my watch.

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By *rivingmanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

Hello, ello, ello, ello (echo's)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just going to call Dyno-Rod..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need a root canal op

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a boy

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

That reminds me I saw a lovely Bulldog on the way into work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tho teh me, how doth thith theel?

You take after your mother.

Now I remember you from the social.

That reminds me, I must pick up the oysters on the way home.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

OH SHIT!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nurse pass me the nose clip

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Nurse,

See I told you I would be able to clap !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can save the fisherman but I'm afraid weve lost the boat

Pmsl. I'm so sorry but that really did make me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Echo echo cho cho ho ho ho o o . . .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody hell, you've had some cowboys in here haven't you love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I do cleanup duties first?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My names James...I’m on work experience.

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By *essysteveCouple
over a year ago

ALICANTE AREA SPAIN

it's great to look up old friends

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By *olgate OP Man
over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Nurse, I’ve found my bike

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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Suffolk - East Anglia

Woman who asked her gynecologist to have a look at her avaries. He said No it's your ovaries.

He later said you were right saying avaries because you've had a cockortwo up here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Healthy looking lungs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well it looks fine to me, but I'm just here to fix the printer..

Now hold still, you may feel a little prick..

Come again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now cover your left eye and read the bottom line

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By *hrobbermanMan
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

This one needs emptied.

Call the builders!

This one isn't too stinky really.

When I shine my torch up, there is a lovely glisten on your sugar walls.

Like a ripped-out fireplace.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

CHRIST ON A BIKE THATS THE BIGGEST MINGE I'VE EVER SEEN !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't smelt anything like that since the local pet shop caught fire

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So that's where my badly wrapped kebab went?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you're one ugly motherfucker" in a Arnold Schwarzenegger tone of voice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has anyone seen my watch?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm gonna have to take your heart out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bet that echo’s really well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's that smell.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Hello again...last time we met was in the dungeon...

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

Hold on to my boots I'm going in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“Hey, there’s an echo in here .... ECHOOOOOO”"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven't smelt anything like that since the local pet shop caught fire"

True story.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh shit !! Wrong hole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sure that shouldn't be bubbling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don’t need gloves today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blimey, never seen that before!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dam I forgot the sage and onion stuffing mix

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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago

Deep in the New Forest

Its NHS job swap day. Usually I'm the janitor.

"Anyone got the number for Dynarod "

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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago

Deep in the New Forest

"Dam I forgot the sage and onion stuffing mix"

Shall I leave the giblets out or push them back in

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Dam I forgot the sage and onion stuffing mix

Shall I leave the giblets out or push them back in

That shouldn't be funny but it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just need to take a closer look but don't worry, my shoulders should stop me from going too deep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That reminds me, doner kebab for dinner tonight;

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Errrrrrrrr you seem to have a cock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just going to call the Guinness Book of Records.

I'm going to consult a colleague...

Is he a specialist?

No, a vet...

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By *entakuruMan
over a year ago

Exeter

I'm sure I've seen you on fabswingers...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It smells like the sea, it sounds like the sea too ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I smell your pussy?

No...?

It must be your feet then...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/04/19 00:53:17]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may have to pull that wisdom tooth out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had my watch on a minute ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are my car keys...

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